Nothing is more painful for a football fan than a derby defeat. It cuts deep on the day, stings long into the night and festers into the week as rival fans, friends or even family relish their victory.
For Tottenham it was a third derby defeat in a row at home against Arsenal and that's simply not good enough. They have only won once at home or away in eight North London Derby attempts but at least there was a lengthy period when Spurs were unbeaten at home. That has been dismantled over the past three season.
That's not to say that Tottenham played badly. Far from it, it was a close game and the hosts controlled much of it, were never outplayed but ultimately once again it came down to that inability now in three of the four games this season to convert dominance of the ball into dominance of the scoreline.
The irony is that Ange Postecoglou football is meant to be all about the goals and perhaps defending is the second priority. Against Arsenal, the attack did not click yet Spurs defended well on the whole. They gave up very few chances against the title-challengers and the winning goal was the only time they switched off for a set piece against one of the league's best at them - albeit once is once too many if you cannot score at the other end.
On the day, Spurs had 64% of the possession against an Arsenal team missing Declan Rice and Martin Odegaard, with 434 passes to the visitors' 213. They had 15 shots to Arsenal's seven with only five put on target, with Raya having to make five saves, although only a couple were ones that pushed him into anything worthy of the name.
With those two notable absences for the visitors, this represented a big opportunity to exploit Mikel Arteta's reshuffled team.
Postecoglou wants his players to be brave and that was missing from their attacking play in the final third. They came up against an Arsenal defence that is one of the most organised in the Premier League and it shut them out, with 32 clearances, six blocks and numerous tackles around their penalty area.
football.londonput it to the Australian that this was another game early in this new season that featured his team having plenty of the ball but not creating enough chances with it.
"Yeah, to a certain extent. We had some good opportunities but we created so many more, we just wasted some of our good play," he said. "Similar to our other games where we haven't really had that conviction in the front third to take advantage of, whether it's us winning the ball back or getting into that front third and nothing coming of it. You keep opposition teams in the game when you do that."
Tottenham captain Son Heung-min told Sky Sports: "We dominated the game, the football was there, we just conceded from a set-piece again [against Arsenal]. We did it last season and it is really frustrating.
"I am sure the fans are also very disappointed. We have to improve, 100%, it's a tough moment and we have to stick together.
"We are getting into the final third but the players have to take the responsibility to score. It is the hardest part of football, making the right decision and being clinical. We will bounce back strongly, there is a long way to go."
The final word went to Spurs goalkeeper Guglielmo Vicario in his club interview after the game. Not long before he spoke, the Italian had stood and stared at the final whistle, first in his own half and then later in the other half, trying to process his emotions.
"It hurts a lot. We feel painful, everyone in the dressing room. We prepare the best for this game so it was important for us, like every game, but this is special for our crowd and we know this," said the Italian.
"Now we have to take the pain and disappointment, but football gives you every time another opportunity and we have to move forward looking forward to the next games we face."
He added: "Sometimes the performances don't reflect your effort and how you play. For that we just have to stick together because our moment will come because our football is good.
"Maybe today we lost a bit after they scored our composure and mindset to stay who we are on the pitch, but we will fix it and take the rewards in the future. I am sure because if we stick together, play this football with our focus, I think we will have a lot of victories this season."
It's been a sticky start to the season and this defeat means it's now seven defeats from 11 games if you're joining the previous campaign to this one.
The cohesion of the team from the back until the final third has been stronger this season and the passing and movement within the system has shown progress but right now it feels like the attack is way behind where it was last season and that's something Postecoglou needs to fix quickly.
Solanke promise but service lacking
It's almost there up front for Spurs. Sometimes it's a missing pass or sometimes a poor decision, or simply pulling the trigger with a shot at the right moment. Just a little tweak and it's going to click together like a machine.
Tottenham have an average of just under 16 shots a game from their four matches so far, with more than six on target on average in each match, yet they're not ripping teams apart with their final third play or causing the opposition goalkeeper to fling himself everywhere to keep them out.
One positive, certainly in the first half, for Postecoglou was the return of Dominic Solanke for only his second game for the club and his home debut.
The £65million summer signing, who turned 27 on Saturday, gave the home side a real focal point with his strength on the ball, his movement and he's a clever dribbler with the ball.
One early dribble down the left side of the visitors' box showed what he is capable of with the ball at his feet and he played it inside to Son, who duly teed up Dejan Kulusevski for a shot saved by Raya.
Solanke gave the Arsenal backline plenty to think about, winning three aerial duels and linking up play well. However, when it came to shooting, he looked like a player who hasn't played in almost a month and before that hadn't played in three weeks.
That's one game in seven weeks or so which means Solanke is going to be rusty. He had an early shot blocked that he just couldn't get out from under his feet quickly enough while he had Brennan Johnson in a decent position to his right.
Later in the first half, the striker showed his aerial ability and strength to wrestle his way to send a looping header from James Maddison's deep cross just wide of the left-hand post.
It could be that Postecoglou uses Solanke in Carabao Cup and Europa League games in the next few weeks to help him get his rhythm back. Richarlison's continued absence makes that necessary anyway.
Solanke's presence in the Tottenham box at the other end also helps the team with set piece defending, as it did with Richarlison and that Harry Kane chap before them.
In the second half, Solanke set up one chance with his pressing, getting the ball to Johnson before his header from the Wales international's subsequent cross was deflected wide.
The forward tired as expected, although Postecoglou kept him on the pitch for the entire game to get the minutes in his legs and keep him up there as a focal point.
"I thought Dom worked hard but he hasn't played for over a month, only his second game of the year," said Postecoglou. "I just thought there were a lot of odd times where, you know, if we just had a bit more belief and conviction in that front third that we could have made so much more with our play to create really good opportunities and, and even the ones we did, we lacked some real conviction in their execution to really make the most of them."
Postecoglou has mentioned that lack of conviction before so he was asked what gives him the belief that it will change.
"We've just got to keep working at it mate, that's my job. I've just got to keep giving the feedback to the guys, trying to guide them in the right way to make them see that for all their dominance in the game, you need to really be clear-headed in those kind of moments and that's my role to try to guide them in the right way," he said.
Postecoglou needs to guide them quickly because their attacking decisions deteroriated as the game wore on. Once Arsenal had scored the visitors shut up shop and Tottenham never really looked like breaking through. Dejan Kulusevski's late rasping shot just over the crossbar was probably the closest they came from that point on.
The service into Solanke was virtually non-existent for long periods. Son started the game brightly, teeing up Kulusevski for an early chance before pressing well to hand another to Solanke. However, the captain's influence waned as the match wore on and he was eventually moved into a number 10 role behind Solanke but to little effect.
Johnson, as well as a good block to stop Leandro Trossard's volley in his own box, gave Jurrien Timber some problems but not enough after the left-back picked up a yellow card and Maddison brought a similar display, all bark without any real bite. Spurs need the England international to run big games as their playmaker but he never really found a way through with his passing.
Kulusevski, in his 100th game for the club, was again probably Spurs' brightest attacking player, getting into good positions and working hard in his deeper midfield role. He was one of five players handed out bookings in the first half by the card happy Australian referee Jarred Gillett.
It's notable that the Tottenham player who played the most key attacking passes on the day was right-back Pedro Porro, his total of four being double the next highest - Maddison's two.
Wilson Odobert came off the bench and never really took the game to Timber despite his pace and dribbling ability and on the other flank Timo Werner's cameo was a poor one. One dreadful pass across his own half almost set up Arsenal with a chance before he had to run across and make the saving tackle himself and then he got in the way of a late Pape Matar Sarr shot in the Gunners' box in an offside position.
Postecoglou needs to get his attack to click. He does have new players in Solanke and Odobert who need to find their place and learn their team-mates' ways but there are enough players in that team who should have more understanding of what they need to be doing in the final third. It's all about bravery and taking what they do in training into matches.
It's probably a good thing that the games come thick and fast now because all of the attackers are going to get minutes across them and players like Lucas Bergvall, Archie Gray and the even younger Mikey Moore can get more exposure to show their worth.
Bergvall and Moore as the more attacking players of the trio have the ability to be lock pickers for Postecoglou's side but they need the minutes to do so.
The Spurs boss admitted: "The good things for us is we've got plenty of games this month and it gives me the opportunity to try some things and change a few things, and give other people opportunities, because ultimately it's about people being out there who want that responsibility in that front third because it's the hardest part of the game. We also know it's the most critical and we need to be better at it."
Romero's gripe and Postecoglou's narrative
Cristian Romero's start to the Premier League season has been decidedly mixed. Returning with a second Copa America title to his name, the Argentine has had some great moments - that thumping headed goal against Everton and some important tackles including one in the second half against Arsenal - but he's also played some part now in all four of Tottenham's conceded goals.
For the most part on Sunday the 26-year-old vice-captain was good. He made two tackles, one interception, three clearances and blocked one shot.
Spurs defence did well across the board to keep out one of the league's best attacks for all but one moment in the game. Porro managed four tackles, five clearances and blocked one shot while Micky van de Ven returned to the side with seven clearances, one tackle and one interception. Destiny Udogie added three tackles and two clearances.
Vicario only really had to make one save of note, diving to push out Kai Havertz's header before it struck Romero and bounced back into his arms.
However, if you're not going to create or finish chances at the other end then one slip in defence is all the opposition needs.
Bukayo Saka swung in a 64th minute corner, Romero went to sleep and allowed Gabriel to ghost in behind him to send a free header into the net. The Arsenal defender did give the Argentine a shove after getting free but Romero was already well out of the picture.
There's an argument to be had over whether Vicario could have done better himself from the corner. The Italian was stuck behind a mass of bodies and he perhaps needs to be stronger to dominate such situations in order to rush out and use his frame to punch the ball away.
After the game, Romero briefly retweeted a South American journalist's post that suggested Tottenham players like the centre-back would be more tired for a big game like this than their rivals because Spurs did not lay on a private jet for him to return home quickly after the international break.
Romero soon undid his retweet but it was an unusual assertion because national associations are the ones responsible for flying players to and from the countries they play international games in or train in with their national sides.
Some clubs do occasionally organise private travel at their own cost if a player is needed back more quickly than normal. However, Romero played on Tuesday night for Argentina in Colombia and with him travelling back on Wednesday and it being a day off for the players on Thursday, there wasn't much sense in making the player rush back to the UK.
It all felt like a little bit of a 'look over there, not at me guv' distraction technique after a defensive lapse in which the World Cup winner simply switched off. If Romero was tired either before the game or during it, he could have indicated that to Postecoglou and Radu Dragusin would have come in. Had Tottenham won the match, you would imagine nothing would have been said.
On the conceded goal, Vicario admitted that the Arsenal man did find himself in plenty of space to head home the winner.
"It is tough to find a solution. It's a good delivery. Maybe Gabriel is a little bit just free to head the ball and put it down in the net," he said. "We will look, we will look. Of course in our meeting we will analyse, try to fix it and try to do better. It is tough because in this case small details can change the result and the outcome of the games."
The talk after the game was all about set pieces, which was tough on Tottenham. They did concede too many last season, but they have worked on it and this was their first goal conceded from a set piece this campaign thanks to the extra focus on them from new coach Nick Montgomery.
It's also ignoring that Arsenal are one of the best from such situations and Romero's lack of concentration had little to do with the organisation. If there's one other thing to take from the goal it's the quality of Saka's delivery compared to the poor efforts swung in by Tottenham's players during the game.
football.london asked Postecoglou how frustrating it was to concede from a set piece in such a way.
"We handled them well for the most part. We switched off for one and you pay a price. That's what happens. It was always going to be a tight game, fine margins, and it proved to be a key moment," he said.
"We've handled them ok [this season]. Arsenal are obviously a very big threat at set pieces. It only takes one. It wasn't just Romero, a couple of others switched off as well. The delivery was spot on and Gabriel is always a threat in those situations. We paid a price for it."
When the Tottenham boss was asked whether the team had put in extra work in recent days on set piece defending because of Arsenal's ability at them, he quickly interjected before the question had even finished, seemingly frustrated by a series of television and radio interviews that had all asked similar of him.
"I know, I know, for some reason people think I don't care about set pieces and it's a narrative that you can keep going on for ages and ages. I understand that," he said. "Like I said, we work on them all the time like we do for every other team. You know that they're a threat, as I said, for the most part, we handled them really well today, but we switched off for one and we paid a price and you learn from that and you move on."
He then added somewhat sarcastically: "But it is what it is, you know, it's my burden to carry mate and I'm happy to do that. Like I've always said, for me, there's a bigger picture that's at play here that's much more important than the finer details of us getting to where we want to. For us, the way forward is to try to turn the football we're playing now into something meaningful."
The narrative Postecoglou speaks of is one partly of his own making, through the set piece goals conceded last season but also through him being somewhat dismissive of the set piece problems during that period.
It was in May when he said he wasn't going to let himself become preoccupied by set pieces over what he saw as the bigger issues.
"I'm not interested. Never have been. Not in the least. It's not the first time I've been questioned about set-pieces in my coaching career. There is an underlying reason for that which I'm very, very comfortable with," he said then. "To quote Billy Joel, you may be right, I may be crazy, but it's maybe a lunatic you're looking for."
He added then: "Eventually I will create a team that has success and it won't be because of working on set-pieces."
His point was that he's looking at the big picture and that includes set pieces, but his wording at the time made it sound like he wasn't giving them any attention, which has led to this narrative he spoke of.
When he was at Celtic, Postecoglou did acknowledge a set piece issue towards the end of his first season and they improved from that point on and into his second campaign. The Australian knows set piece lapses will undo what good work he does and Spurs do work on them constantly, with Montgomery now at the lead which has resulted in an improvement.
Sunday's conceded goal though will bring fresh life to the narrative and Postecoglou's burden carrying. The only way to stop people speaking about it is to make sure that Gabriel's goal was a blip rather than the start of another pattern and also to score goals at the other end of the pitch to place less importance and pressure on them.
Postecoglou's bold statement
The surest way to push Ange Postecoglou into a strong statement is to irritate him.
In one of the 59-year-old's television interviews after the game, the interviewer kept pulling the microphone away as he was trying to answer in order to add a bit more to the question about whether the head coach can continue his trait of winning in his second seasons with this Tottenham team.
"Am I going to answer the question or are you going to keep asking it?," he said exasperatedly before adding: "Absolutely and I'll correct myself, I don't usually win things, I always win things in my second year, nothing's changed."
The follow-up question was whether he was confident that he can do that with this Spurs side.
"Well I've just said it now. I don't say things unless I believe them," he hit back.
It's certainly showing confidence in his Tottenham team and in his own methods. It's also setting himself up for a fall if the north London club cannot end their 16-year trophy drought. Everyone will come back to this interview if he cannot.
Fate loves to quickly make someone look daft. Spurs have no time to wallow in their derby despair as they must head quickly to Championship side Coventry on Wednesday night in the Carabao Cup.
Coventry went to promotion-chasing Watford on Saturday and took home a point. It will not be an easy game for Tottenham at the Ricoh Arena against Mark Robins' side and it's primed as a real banana skin to quickly throw the words of the Tottenham boss back at him.
Postecoglou also admitted that he will give other players game time in order to allow them to impress and stake a claim for starts in the Premier League.
"It's an opportunity, not just for the younger players but the squad because we need to get them game time but not just game time, also the opportunity to show that they can be a part of this and push some of these guys who started today in terms of playing because ultimately that's what we need," he said on Sunday. "We need competition for places and Wednesday night is a good opportunity to do that."
Postecoglou is in the situation where he cannot change up his team too much for fear of what might happen but he also needs to allow other players to play and become sharp.
Dragusin needs to get out on the pitch, Wilson Odobert will likely come in as well as Pape Matar Sarr and potentially the experienced Ben Davies as either a centre-back or left-back. Then it's about whether one or both of the young summer arrivals Lucas Bergvall and Archie Gray come in for their first competitive starts for the club.
Gray in particular played 52 games last season in the Championship, facing Coventry home and away as a right-back. It would not be a new experience for him.
Djed Spence could also be handed a chance after his Europa League exclusion while Postecoglou will be keen to give Mikey Moore minutes from the bench. Werner also clearly needs to get sharp after his ropey cameo on Sunday.
However, if Postecoglou makes mass changes - as he did for the penalty shoot-out exit at Fulham last year - then it will be a stick to beat him with if Spurs slip out of the competition at the hands of the Championship side.
The Australian could point towards the fact that he feels he's built a squad that better understands his beliefs throughout, rather than having to swap in ill-fitting players from a previous regime.
He's said he wants his best players to be fresher later in the season and able to produce their best because they didn't have to play in every single game, but if he loses without them then all looks are cast towards him. It's a Catch 22 situation.
There's also merit in giving gifted young players like Bergvall and Gray, as well as Moore, vital development time in the team.
In his first season, Mauricio Pochettino had a moment when he turned to the youth and it ended up being the making of his tenure at the club. Postecoglou could also benefit from finding that his young players can step up and bring the bravery and the fearlessness that makes his system tick.
Vicario believes in what the Tottenham boss is bringing into the club and what they can achieve this season under him.
"We just have to stick together and believe in our football. You just have to believe in it and carry on. We have a brilliant coach, brilliant staff that can help us so we just need to stay together and believe in our football because we played such good games until now," said the goalkeeper.
"Today is a big defeat, we take the responsibility for that and now we have to prepare our best level for the next two games.
"We have a great opportunity tomorrow morning - we train, we stay all together, we will analyse this game and prepare for the Carabao Cup. I think it is the best way to go forward, to stay together and realise what we didn't play at our best level today and move on for the Carabao."
With one win, one draw and two defeats it is the worst Spurs start to a season for nine years. Yet it's also worth looking back to what happened in that 2015/16 campaign, Pochettino's second at the club.
Tottenham lost their first game and followed it up with three draws. Yet they would go on and challenge Leicester in the title race before finally finishing up third in the Premier League.
It's far too early to judge a season just four games in, with some decent performances but some iffy results. Postecoglou's counterpart in the other dugout on Sunday, Mikel Arteta, knows that well.
The Spaniard went eight games without a win during his first full season, losing six of those matches before pushing on and he started his second full season poorly with Arsenal bottom of the table without a point or goal from their first three games before the international break. The Gunners stuck with him as he implemented a new philosophy within the club and now they are a far stronger outfit and importantly he won trophies. He just needed his moment of patience and so does Postecoglou.
Emotions are raw after a derby defeat and understandably so, but Tottenham's season has only just begun. There are so many games ahead and they now come thick and fast. Ange Postecoglou's next chapter has certainly not been written yet.
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