Dear Tottenham Hotspur,
Your time has come. Your relegation awaits.
TNT Sports knew it was live streaming a funeral on Thursday evening. Spurs fans, having passed through the cycle of denial, anger, bargaining and depression finally appeared to land in a state of acceptance, borderline apathy at the end of their 3-1 humbling to Crystal Palace.
The match was laced with all the signals of a club on the edge: Tottenham conceded a fluky deflection (later ruled out for the tightest of offsides), displayed atrocious discipline punctuated with another red card, most decisions (whether correct or otherwise) seemed to fall against them, manager Igor Tudor gave a snappy post-match interview, fans left at half time and didn't come back.
Perhaps most poignantly, the booing lacked gusto. You know the game is up when fans can't even summon a full-throated, hearty boo.
As the camera panned from moribund face to moribund face, it became increasingly obvious this was the moment Tottenham realised they are, and have always been, mortals, as prone to devastation as the next team.
For a decade now they have been generously lumped in with the 'big six' despite having won precisely zero trophies since 2008. They staggered their way to a Europa League trophy last season but finished 17th in the Premier League and sacked Ange Postecoglou 16 days later, hardly a ringing endorsement of their position among the elite.
In truth, Spurs have not been a definitive 'big six' team for a while now, with just two top-six finishes in the last six seasons (once this one ends – for better or worse).
A flashy stadium, corporate trimmings, soaring ticket prices and burgeoning revenue streams have successfully applied a veneer to the football club, but the league table is the closest thing to objective truth in football.
The plain reality: Spurs are just another football club, established in the Premier League, but no more entitled to stay up than any other. And that defeat to Crystal Palace is the loudest sign yet they are going to drop. Nine matches to go, one point above the bottom three, 20th in the form table, zero victories in 2026.
Of course, the final nail is yet to be hammered home. There's still a chance Spurs put down the spade and climb out of the hole. And good on them if they do. They will have opportunities between now and May. West Ham boast quality but suffer lapses, Nottingham Forest boast industry but make Spurs' backroom operations feel serene and sensible, while Leeds don't earn bonus points for taking 500,000 away fans to every match, every weekend.
Throughout coverage of this demise, the tone has been consolatory. Of course, the pundit class is dominated by 'big six' operatives and, despite countless different crises being declared each season, this is the first time a 'big six' team has even come close to being in a real crisis.
Jonathan Pearce, covering the game for the BBC, and TNT Sports representatives Sam Matterface and Peter Crouch, each spoke with sombre reverence for the club, recalling its history and stature, but they should expect no such widespread sympathy for Spurs, a team who desperately wanted to play court jester in the European Super League just five years ago, beyond Seven Sisters Road.
There is no such veneration or respect when other teams are dispatched from the division. Why should Spurs' impending expulsion be treated any differently?
Where was the sympathy for Wolves, left to stagnate under a detached, disinterested ownership? Where was the sympathy for Burnley, a newly promoted team who are on the verge of a third Premier League relegation in five years? Did the experts even notice when Leicester City, Southampton, Ipswich Town, Sheffield United or Luton Town (to name a few) dropped? Of course not.
Few members of the pundit class will sincerely lobby for the little guy, but now Spurs are on the block, it seems we are being called to grieve.
Over the coming weeks, you can guarantee a raft of sorrowful eulogies and respectful bowing from pitchside narrative-setters, fans of the 'other 14' will be expected to pay respects to a fallen giant, to mourn the passing of Tottenham Hotspur, but relegation comes for us all.
Since the Premier League's inception in 1992, 43 teams have borne the pain of relegation – Spurs are not one of them. Their time of reckoning has come. They will not be mourned.
After all, didn't Spurs want to break away from the Premier League?
