Do we want to rehash this? I say no. But I have a job to do and dammit I’m going to do it. Tottenham Hotspur haven’t won a league match at the Emirates since 2010, and boy howdy it almost feels like it’ll be another 15 years before it happened after that match on Sunday. A 4-1 defeat where Spurs did not look even remotely competitive, or even like they knew which way they were supposed to be dribbling the ball.
How do you come up with a theme for a match like this? Remarkably, this one popped into my head while I was compiling the ratings. I read a LOT, but I am definitely a discerning reader; I won’t just open whatever book gets put in front of me. And there are certain books that I have decided will never cross my hands, or my Kindle, ever. That’s not to say that these books are BAD. (Some of them are, others…. well, maybe not?) Just that they hold absolutely no interest for me, personally.
Here are are your Tottenham Hotspur “ratings” for the NLD loss to the theme of books I have no intention of ever reading. Feel free to put your own list in the comments instead of wasting perfectly good energy thinking about that match.
Look, it’s fine. It’s a classic. I even like post-apocalyptic fiction! I have been told it’s relentlessly bleak and that’s something I feel fine cutting out of my life right now.
LOL….LMAO
If you like this, good for you! Please don’t recommend it to me.
No Tottenham players in this category.
Impenetrable, and who has time to beat their heads against the wall for however many months it would take to read it?
Micky van de Ven (Community — 2.5): Probably Spurs’ best player on a very bad night.
Richarlison (Community — 3.0): That goal ruled.
Xavi Simons (Community — 2.5): God love him he tried, but not even his baby Cucurella locks could help him.
Yeah, bad sci-fi from the guy who invented Scientology? Hard pass.
Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 3.0): A couple of good saves, but his distribution was god-awful.
Kevin Danso (Community — 2.0): Looked lost in the back three.
Destiny Udogie (Community — 2.0): One of Spurs’ better performers in the first half (low bar!) but he was directly at fault for the third goal and seemed to give up midway through the second half.
Pape Sarr (Community — 2.0): Spurs looked a little brighter when he came on, but it was too little way too late.
No thanks.
Cuti Romero (Community — 2.0): Battled hard but picked up a stupid yellow so he’s suspended for Fulham.
Djed Spence (Community — 2.0): The Spence Penitentiary has walls made of wax paper.
Joao Palhinha (Community — 2.5): Amazing how much space he left behind when he’s supposedly covering for the back line.
Wilson Odobert (Community — 2.0): Looked completely out of it.
Mohammed Kudus (Community — 2.0): Drove into so many cul-de-sacs I thought he was lost in Houston.
Randal Kolo Muani (Community — 2.0): Not really his fault since he got no service, but also didn’t contribute anything. Mask looks dope, though.
I am almost fascinated by how incredibly bad this book looks just from reading the dust-jacket summary. But not enough to even attempt to dive into it.
Rodrigo Bentancur (Community — 1.5): One of the worst matches I’ve seen from him and I’ve seen a lot of poor matches from him.
Thomas Frank (Community — 1.5): If you can’t say anything nice…
Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating