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I’m going to start this with an apology to those ‘up the road’.
For years, I’ve been firmly convinced that our neighbours were the biggest set of entitled wet wipes in football.
Punching police horses and wrecking their own city centre in the wake of yet another derby defeat, constantly trying to link themselves to the best managers in world football, and moaning about PSR while blowing £200m+ on the likes of Yoane Wissa, Anthony Elanga and Jacob Ramsey were just some of the behaviours that ensured Adam Pearson, ‘Geordie Josh’ and their like-minded brethren were firmly top of the league — the league of twisty, moaning delusionists.
However, recent events have caused me to re-evaluate my opinion, and to those of a black and white persuasion, I have to say “I was wrong.”
The developments that’ve forced me to come to this cataclysmic change of mind happened in the wake of Tottenham’s visit to the Stadium of Light on Sunday.
The online reaction from the Spurs fanbase was a spectacle to behold; a generational headloss that made the Mags look like rank amateurs!
At the front and centre of their moaning was the performance of Brian Brobbey — yet clearly most of their fans haven’t heard of Bobby Smith, an absolute beast of a player who almost literally carried them to the double in 1961.
One Spurs fan posted a compilation of all Brobbey’s alleged ‘indiscretions’ during the game…or a video of a bunch of soft-as-clarts supposed hard men being shrugged off by a physical presence they were simply incapable of containing, if you didn’t come from North London.
Former referee Keith Hackett, whose age appears to have encouraged him to actively court controversy these days, added fuel to the fire.
“If Brobbey had raised his elbow, it would’ve been a red card.”
Alright, Keith. We can all play that game.
“If I looked like Brad Pitt and had lots of money, my list of conquests by now would’ve included Salma Hayek, Angelina Jolie and Margot Robbie.”
Brobbey didn’t; I don’t look anything like Brad Pitt and I haven’t troubled the ladies of Hollywood.
It wasn’t just Brobbey who was the target of their ire, as there was footage of Noah Sadiki’s superb sliding challenge on Randal Kolo Muani. Yes, the young Congolese sensation did just catch the attacker with his follow through long after the ball had been won, but there was absolutely nothing reckless or illegal about the challenge.
Luke O’Nien was next in the firing line, with several stills of him tangling with Destiny Udogie posted as proof of his guilt. There was a reason they didn’t post the video: the evidence showed their player collapsing like a badly-opened deck chair at the slightest of touches.
After that, predictably, it was on to the officials and a load of whinging about why the Tottenham hierarchy hadn’t already whinged about previous officiating.
The victimhood was palpable! At no point was there the slightest hint of introspection; no consideration that their own players just didn’t have the heart to compete at the same level as our players, or that having no plan and about eight different managers in a season might’ve contributed to their downfall.
I tried to assist their understanding by helpfully posting the Sky Sports graphic showing that Granit Xhaka delivered more of pretty much everything that a midfielder should than Archie Gray, Lucas Bergvall and Conor Gallagher combined. It wasn’t well-received!
I haven’t checked social media today but I have no doubt that the moaning will be continuing.
I haven’t encountered such a huge collection of massive girl’s blouses since the last time I walked through Primark. Heaven help them in the Championship if they end up there!