A massive away win over West Ham at the London Stadium (context needed)! You never turn down a 3-0 away win, especially against a rival that hates you more than you hate them, and where you haven’t won since before COVID. But despite a legitimate goal from Cuti Romero being called back because officiating in the Premier League is garbage, Spurs didn’t blow West Ham out of the water until the second half, when Pape Sarr was left wide open at the back post and Tomas Soucek was sent off for a horror tackle on Palhinha. That obviously made a huge difference in the match. Would Spurs still have gotten a result if it was 11 v 11 the entire match? Sure, maybe. But if that happens it’s probably a draw or a narrow win, not a 3-0 blowout.
Honestly, I loved the result but I wasn’t as big on the overall performance as a lot of other people, although there were a few outstanding individual efforts. The thing to watch is this — Thomas Frank has historically started slow at his previous jobs, including at Brentford, before his teams learned his system and settled in. The fact Spurs have banked nine points from its first four matches, including three clean sheets, is a positive. Bank those points, because they’ll be a lot harder to come by against the teams at the very top of the table.
For today’s theme: it’s nebulae. I’m an astronomy nerd since childhood. I like nebulae. They’re cool and they’re galactic star factories. What’s not to like? Go look at some pretty pictures of awesome dust clouds.
One of the first parts of the sky the James Webb Telescope was pointed at was the Carina Nebula. It doesn’t look all that spectacular when you see it from a distance, but it’s absolutely stunning when you zoom in. These star-forming “Cosmic Cliffs” are better than any painting, and are illustrative of the grandeur of our universe on an incredibly grand scale.
Cuti Romero (Community — 4.5): Wonderful performance. Had a legitimate goal ruled out because officiating is broken in this league, but defended extremely well and put a long ball on a plate to Lucas Bergvall.
Honestly, just look at that thing. The Horsehead Nebula, one of two major nebulae in the constellation Orion, is just dope. You can’t see it with the naked eye like the Orion Nebula, but that doesn’t matter because THERE’S A FRIGGIN’ CLOUD OF GAS SHAPED LIKE A HORSE.
Micky van de Ven (Community — 4.5): Was penalized for being shoved by the keeper thus negating one goal, and should’ve earned a penalty for being hauled down in the box. So it’s only fair that he gets a goal himself to balance out the karma. Oh, and he defended extremely well, too.
It’s pretty easy to see how the Eagle Nebula got its name, with its two spreading “wings” on either side of a central formation of dust. But that dust formation is what makes the Eagle Nebula spectacular — they’re known as the “pillars of creation,” titanic star factories that were one of the crowning images when the Hubble telescope first went live in 1995 and that look like a grasping hand of God. Stunning.
Lucas Bergvall (Community — 4.5): Weirdly, despite playing at the 10, Lucas only had 18 passes in this match. I’m still not sure I like him in that role, but he did his best work there in the second half when Spurs were up a player. He was, however, a monster in the press, and that goal which he took down from Cuti’s long pass, was audacious. Reminded me of something Dele used to do, and honestly turning Lucas into peak Dele would be the optimal outcome.
Mohammed Kudus (Community — 4.0): Really got a chance to show his dribbling ability against West Ham’s defense in the second half and was probably Spurs’ best outlet. Clearly wanted a goal after getting booed by the West Ham fans the entire match and came pretty close. Should’ve had an assist for Romero’s waved off goal too.
Thomas Frank (Community — 4.5): Can’t argue with the result, and I do appreciate the fact that he rotated with an eye both to the midweek cup match and the matches yet to come. Champions League looms, gotta keep the squad fresh. I can (and have) quibbled about some selections, but so far it’s worked out pretty well.
Just look at this thing. Seriously, just look at it. The product of a supernova first observed by Chinese astronomers in 1054, it is now a vivid and expanding cloud of striated gas and dust that is just spectacular to look at. It’s also HUGE — it took the Hubble telescope six photos to capture it all as a mosaic image.
Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 4.0): West Ham didn’t give him that much to do, but he had four routine stops; his best save was probably on Van de Ven’s back header. Another clean sheet, though.
Pedro Porro (Community — 3.5): Diouf gave him a little defensive trouble down his flank, but Porro had a solid outing and had some very good deliveries from wide positions and worked well with Kudus.
Xavi Simons (Community — 4.0): Not the most dynamic or even of performances, but it’s his first match with a new team. You can certainly see his talent and potential shining through and I have zero doubts that he’ll get better as he gets acclimated to his new teammates.
Djed Spence (Community — 4.0): Had a bit of a tough time against Jarrod Bowen at points during this match, which, y’know, fair. Didn’t always seem to be synced up with Xavi on the left, which again — fair! Still put in a very competent performance.
Pape Matar Sarr (Community — 4.0): What’s funny about Pape in this one was that I didn’t think he was very good until West Ham left him wide open at the back post for a relatively easy headed goal. Lots of running around, not very much actual ball progression. That goal was dope, though.
Planetary nebulae, formed when red giant stars exhaust their fuel, can sometimes be spectacular (see the Hourglass Nebula) but can also just be beautiful in their simplicity. Like this one — the Lemon Slice Nebula is perfectly spherical (hence the name) and easy on the eye. I think it looks more like the eye of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Palhinha (Community — 4.0): Was part of a midfield that generally did not do much progression until after West Ham was down a player, after which he was pretty good. That’s fine, that’s just who he is and there are also two other non-creative/passy midfielders to be critical of as well. Upon re-watch, what did stick out at me was that while he had six tackles, he was also dribbled by twice, which led to two of West Ham’s biggest chances. It’s difficult to unpick how much of his defense has contributed to Spurs’ start of three clean sheets (certainly it’s helped!) and how much is just that we’re playing our two best central defenders together. Anyway, he does what he’s asked to do and does it well, and his selection was probably international break related. I just don’t think he was a good tactical fit against West Ham and my irritation is more that Palhinha is a symptom of a larger midfield squad construction issue that’s going to continue to drive me bonkers until Lucas Bergvall turns into prime Dele.
Destiny Udogie (Community — 3.0): Gets a little grace from me since he’s still working his way back from injury. A pretty forgettable shift, but Spurs were already up big when he came on.
Richarlison (Community — 3.0): Had a long flight back from Brazil which probably explains his coming off the bench rather than starting. Honestly not sure if he’d have been better than Tel in that first half, but if Spurs are going to pump crosses and corners into the box like they did then you are going to want Richy in there.
The Pacman nebula looks like the eponymous video game character, but only if you cock your head and squint at it. No word yet whether Nintendo has sued the nebula yet for copyright infringement, but I assume that lawsuit is coming.
Mathys Tel (Community — 3.0): Was Tel bad in this match? Probably not, but I don’t think he was very good. Really struggled to find space between the lines in the first half, barely touched the ball, and only had one shot with an xG of 0.02. He came off of an international break where he scored twice for France U21 but struggled to get going. Still valuable experience and he needs to play in games like this since he won’t be in the Champions League. My guess is he starts vs. Doncaster, maybe from the left flank?
Honestly, I have no beef with Karen Gillan (forever my favorite Doctor Who companion) but something had to go here and I didn’t especially like this character in Endgame.
No Tottenham Hotspur players were as bad as Nebula from the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating: