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We’ll understand if you just want to scroll straight down to the losers bit and Manchester United getting another thorough kicking, but there’s praise too for Spurs and at least some acknowledgement that other games also happened.

Winners

Tottenham

Even as we watched Tottenham tear what nominally passed for Manchester United’s defence apart again and again, seemingly at will, we knew what was going to happen. We knew we and everyone else were about to get pelters for failing to give Spurs credit and focusing on how bad United were.

But United really were staggeringly bad. It’s instructive to glance down the league table and see how long it takes to get to a team you don’t think would’ve beaten that United performance. Pretty sure at least two of the sides with no wins from six games could’ve sorted that out here.

We’re doing it again, look. This is the third paragraph about Spurs and it’s still all about United. Partly that’s because, as always, This Is Manchester United Football Club We’re Talking About, but also because it really did feel like this was a day that was far more about United being bad than Spurs being good. This time, it’s not just #numbers to be focusing on Ten Hag’s job prospects in the wake of what we’ve just seen.

However. Yes, Spurs were also very good. That United were unbelievably callow in allowing them to look quite so good shouldn’t detract entirely from a second successive display of impressive competence from Ange Postecoglou’s side.

This was a statement win for several reasons, and an indicator of – at the very least – a season and project back on track after threatening to come off the rails completely.

There has been a clear response to the North London Derby, and had to be. Spurs are looking a quicker and more direct attacking team and while they still lack that one consistent, reliable finisher that could truly elevate them they do now at least have the look of a team that will carve out enough chances for that to matter less often.

They are so much better going forward when they try to do so with speed, taking advantage of the technical gifts and quickness of thought their frontline can boast.

Sure, not every defence they come up against will be as generous as United’s, but nor will they be as stubborn as Arsenal’s. When Spurs’ attacking shapes and patterns look like this and happen at this pace, they look a completely different beast. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen it in back-to-back league games.

It’s only the second time this year Spurs have won two Premier League games in a row, and unsurprisingly also the first time since wins over Palace and Villa in March that they’ve scored three goals two games running.

This was also Spurs’ first win against ‘big eight’ opposition since that Villa game, since when their record in these games had read played seven, lost seven.

So yes, the focus may inevitably be on how bad United were, but Spurs were also good. And find themselves looking upward again in a way that seemed unlikely after the NLD a few short weeks ago. It’s been four wins from four since then in all competitions; we already find ourselves idly wondering just how important those last few minutes of vintage Carabao at Coventry might prove in the final reckoning.

It may not matter much in that particular competition with City to come next, but the change in mood triggered by that late comeback feels mighty significant. Angeball may still ultimately fail, but its demise felt literally minutes away at Coventry. No longer.

Dejan Kulusevski

It’s been a thought fluttering around our head for a few weeks now but this week has confirmed it. Dejan Kulusevski is Tottenham’s best player and we’re really not quite sure what to think about that.

He’s a player we like an awful lot, a clever player with a deceptive turn of foot and all manner of neat touches in a strong frame. But he just doesn’t necessarily strike one as the sort who should be the best player at an elite club.

Increasingly, though, we come round to the view that this is our issue not his or Spurs’. He was brilliant again at United, as he has been most every time we’ve seen him this season – and in a variety of positions across Spurs’ midfield and attack – and the fact this latest eye-catcher came in a game where the more obvious headliner Son Heung-min was absent also felt like a shifting of the sands.

Kulusevski for player of the year, is what we’re saying here. Surrender to your ginger Swedish overlord.

Brennan Johnson

Has now scored in each of his last four games, all of them wins, since some bad bells led him to bin off the socials after the Arsenal defeat.

It’s a hell of an argument for quitting Insta.

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Arsenal

A draw would have been both disastrous and ludicrous. The nature of Arsenal’s task in trying to outlast Manchester City across an entire Premier League season is well known, and we’ve all said time and again how little margin for error it all leaves.

What Saturday so nearly demonstrated was how little margin it leaves for football deciding to just be a mad bastard every now and then. A game Arsenal had already seemingly won once and could absolutely have won by five or six came desperately, improbably close to ending in a 2-2 draw.

Yes, there was the tiniest air of complacency about Arsenal at 2-0 up, but also come on: you simply cannot keep 100 per cent intensity at all times without losing the absolute run of yourselves. A criticism of Arsenal’s first title tilt was just how much nervous energy they expended on it all. If you’re ever going to let up a little bit, it’s when 2-0 up at home to Leicester. And it still took two freakish goals from Leicester’s right-back to expose that tiny drop in standards.

Arsenal, though, as they so often do these days, mustered one of their trademark big celebration-police-bothering finishes and ended the game with a scoreline that at least offered some nod to the overall balance of play.

And as ever, while this might not be the way anyone ever actually plans to win a game it absolutely is the best one when it happens. It’s invigorating no matter the opposition, which – along with the aforementioned margin of error (or lack thereof) – is one of the key points the joyless Celebration Police either don’t understand or more accurately overlook. There’s no such thing as ‘Only Leicester’ when you are moments away from an infuriatingly costly failure to take advantage of City’s far more forgivable blip at Newcastlle.

Leandro Trossard

Allowing the scorer of Arsenal’s surprisingly important second goal and the man behind the third to serve his one-match suspension in the Carabao a costly oversight from The Conspiracy. Must do better, lads.

Ethan Nwaneri

That his manager was so willing to trust him with a late rescue mission in a must-win game is testament enough to the youngster’s standing at Arsenal. That he so thoroughly justified that faith while remaining stubbornly 17 years of age is ridiculous.

Chelsea

All going really quite staggeringly well, all things considered. That extraordinary first half against Brighton ensured it’s now four wins and a draw from the last five games since starting the season with defeat to Man City, and they are a side playing with unexpected verve and brio under a manager whose alarmingly slight CV offered few hints towards.

Of course, it helps when you have…

Cole Palmer

Second-season syndrome, is it? Four goals before half-time and there’s a decent case that it wasn’t even the best thing he did in the game after that absurd should-have-been-an-assist when all the goalscoring was done with.

It was a performance to vault him to second in the Premier League goalscoring charts for the season, which amounts to being the leading scorer among regular mortals.

However, we may never recover from the mathematically obvious yet nevertheless entirely alarming news that Palmer was too young to have watched Dennis Bergkamp.

Ipswich

The best winless six-game start to a Premier League season on record? Until someone steers us differently in the comments, we’re saying yes. Defeats to Liverpool and Man City are of no real consequence, while since then they’ve battled and played their way to draw against Fulham, Brighton, Southampton and most recently and impressively Aston Villa.

With West Ham, Everton and Leicester all to come around the October international break it seems certain that wait for a win ends relatively soon. And in the unlikely event they do make it as far as the November lull without a win, then they need not worry: they’ve got Man United straight after it.

Liam Delap

Have City f***ed up again? First Palmer, and now this. Two goals for Delap against Villa, with the second a thing of absolute beauty.

He may never get to be a Barclaysmen like his dad, but there’s every indication he has a bright future ahead of him in Our League.

It’s also a very good time indeed to be a young English striker scoring goals in the Premier League. The England ladder is very much there to be climbed.

Everton

Finally.

Bryan Mbeumo

Only Erling Haaland and Palmer have more Premier League goals than Mbeumo this season, and that means for now we remain just about in ‘Ivan who?’ territory for another few weeks before things take what is, alas, the inevitable turn toward which Big Club decides it wants him in January please and thank you.

Liverpool

Really quite striking that a club of Liverpool’s stature and standing can go top of the league and it feel like such a footnote to the weekend as a whole. Couple of reasons, we think. For one they recorded an expected win with only minor levels of fuss, which was unusual in itself this weekend. There’s also the fact that for now there is still a probably fair consensus that the title is a two-horse race and Liverpool ending up best of the rest would surprise literally nobody.

It’s also been just about the gentlest impressive start it’s possible for a team to make. Even the one obviously eye-catching result in their league campaign this season – a 3-0 win at Old Trafford – has now been slightly diluted by the discovery that even Spurs can do that.

None of this is criticism, just observation. Liverpool have had a measurably easy start to the season. The only ‘big eight’ team they’ve faced in the league is the one transparently in crisis and with Bologna and Crystal Palace to round out their work before the international break that won’t change much either.

You can only beat what’s in front of you, of course, and with one jolting exception that’s what Arne Slot’s side have done. They also largely pass the sniff test; this feels like a team that actually is pretty good and just happens to have had a friendly run of games rather than a team looking deceptively good because of that.

But we still don’t really know. By the next international break – when Slot has faced (among others) Chelsea, Arsenal, Brighton, Leverkusen and Aston Villa – we should have a clearer idea of whether we’re looking at a potential title contender or a best-of-the-rest straggler.

Raul Jimenez and Adama Traore

Not exactly Barclaysmen vintage, sure, but still a quite wonderful and unexpected sight to see this pair of old Wolves tearing it up together for Fulham in big 2024.

Losers

Manchester United

They’ve been given quite a kicking elsewhere already, sure, but let’s row in with about another thousand words on just how sh*tbone awful that was.

It’s a miserable, wretched performance. Any team that beats United will always have the grumble that focus inevitably falls on United losing rather than their efforts in winning, but rarely has that felt more appropriate than here. Spurs did the necessary and fair play to them for doing it with – finishing touches aside – a fair amount of flourish, but it really is hard to imagine which Premier League team might fail to have sorted out that miserable excuse for a Manchester United performance.

It’s not just that it was bad – although it absolutely was very, very bad – but that it was also cravenly stupid. While we’re pretty sure most teams would’ve beaten United yesterday, we’re also sure there aren’t many teams for whom such an effort could have played so thoroughly into their hands as Tottenham.

Confidence is still fragile at Spurs, but they do not lack for clever attacking players – or defensive ones eager to join the attacks – who enjoy having space in which to operate. Everyone in the league knows this now, and all but one of those teams endeavour to shut down and minimise that space.

We are absolutely certain that no other team in the league, for instance, would be startled to discover in September 2024 that Micky van de Ven is quite quick. United are the first team in over six months to be visibly rattled by the idea of Tottenham’s full-backs turning up in midfield quite a bit. It’s just staggering idiocy at this point.

And while the defensive disasterclass and abdication of responsibility across the midfield were the most abject elements of United’s display, let’s not overlook the paucity of their attacking play against what remains a distinctly get-atable Tottenham defence on the few times United mustered some response to the waves of Tottenham attacks.

Only at two goals and a man down did United find any kind of coherent thought or plan, by which point it was already too late. That this brief rally ended with Spurs adding a third goal and absolutely nobody on either side being surprised by that is a staggering turn of events. Lads, it’s Man United.

They’ve been bad before and not been great for ages. But while there have been heavier and more overtly humiliating days – even against these opponents – during the wilderness years, it’s hard to recall one where everything has been so bad, where redeeming bright spots or silver linings are so vanishingly difficult to spot.

This felt like a day that highlighted absolutely everything wrong with this club on and off the field, and also just how long it might take to put it all right.

Because here’s perhaps the very worst thing among all the very bad things. That however much this felt like a grimly horrifying new low for United, in no way does it feel like things can only get better. Surely the most terrifying thought of all for United fans after that is the notion that it not only can but very likely will somehow get even worse.

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Erik ten Hag

Not one of his players helped him out, sure, but so much of this has to be on a manager already up to his neck in sh*t.

There are only two possibilities here: either Ten Hag sent his team out with a gameplan that played entirely into their opponent’s hands, or he didn’t do that but the players served that up anyway. For Ten Hag, it doesn’t really matter which because in either case he’s cooked.

Either his tactics or messaging are unforgivably bad, and it’s impossible now to see how he possibly survives all of this long-term. All that has kept him in the job this long is the already dubious idea that it was more embarrassing for United’s bosses to get rid of him than to keep him, and the absolute tipping point for that must surely be approaching if not already passed.

Sir Jim Ratcliffe

All billionaires are, by definition, frauds. Absolutely no billionaire has got there on merit, because it’s an absurd concept on its own terms.

But Ratcliffe is currently mighty fortunate to occupy only a distant second spot among 2024’s Most Fraudulent Billionaires.

It’s been misstep after misstep for a man who had the easiest of tasks when he rocked up thanks to the vast goodwill he carried simply by being neither the Glazers nor Qatar. Those two things he isn’t were enough – and pretty understandably so – for a large swathe of United fans to fall in behind him.

He’s rewarded that support with nonsense upon nonsense.

We have little sympathy for Ten Hag, a manager making countless mistakes and deeply fortunate to remain in the job; but he has also been so spectacularly undermined that if it wasn’t for the rest of the incompetence swirling around this club you might mistake it for Machiavellian subterfuge.

The whole summer process of speaking to other candidates about his job ended in the most drawn-out and least convincing vote of confidence ever issued.

Even the transfer business has appeared designed to stitch the manager up, amounting to almost killing him with kindness. United had an objectively impressive transfer window, but the players they signed are long-term assets who will take time, and that was a luxury Ten Hag simply didn’t have entering the third year of this project so firmly on the back foot.

Almost everything Ratcliffe has done since arriving at United has read like the work of one of those cartoonishly bad jumped-up little bosses you hear about on those ‘world’s worst boss’ posts. You know the ones – the bosses who conveniently but inexplicably conduct all their worst bellendery via WhatsApp. Moaning about tidiness, demonising working from home. The kind of bullsh*t that does nothing to make a tangible difference but allows Ratcliffe to feel important.

Yet there was a queue of people desperate to tell us that this was just the sort of ruthlessness United had lacked and so desperately needed. But here we are, two wasted months into a wasted season, and even that highly questionable line of defence lies in ruins when Ruthless Ratcliffe has so demonstrably bottled the biggest decision of his United tenure by failing to sack an underperforming manager because he happened to win one game.

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Bruno Fernandes

The red may have been a touch harsh for a yellow-plus offence, but only a touch. Bruno slipped before making the tackle and then lunged in anyway; it was the definition of reckless and out of control, and if players don’t know by now that those are key watchwords this season then they absolutely should.

Arguably of more pressing concern than a one-off brainfart that meant United – already struggling with 11 – had almost no chance of a fightback against Spurs is the overall form of United’s talisman this season.

On another day he might have got away with this moment of alarming daftness, but a moment of alarming daftness it would have remained. Bruno has no goals and only one assist in the Premier League this season, and while he has often appeared frustrated at his team-mates he is now starting to look pretty pissed off with himself.

He is not the biggest problem at United by any stretch, but there are worrying signs that a player who has worked so hard in recent years trying to drag United up to his level might just be flailing now and sinking back to theirs.

Brighton

The obvious if probably misplaced concern is that we’re simply looking at a repeat of last season but played in dramatic fast forward. Brighton won five of their first six last campaign before things went tits skywards.

This time a pair of opening wins and a highly commendable draw at Arsenal have been followed by less encouraging stalemates against Ipswich and Forest followed by a naïve-looking thumping at Chelsea.

A few weeks ago, a home game with Spurs would’ve looked like something to relish, but both sides’ efforts this week have given that fixture a very different looking complexion now.

Fabian Hurzeler

That Tottenham clash can now be catchily dubbed the Maintaining A Catastrophically High Defensive Line Against Chelsea Despite Overwhelming Evidence It’s Not Really Working Derby, at least. If Hurzeler sticks to his principles as rigidly as Ange, then that game next week could be utterly magnificent. We genuinely can’t wait to see which side wins 6-4.

Nottingham Forest

Would probably have taken a first defeat of the Premier League season not arriving until the last weekend of September, but the manner of it remains galling in a toothless home defeat to Fulham.

Manchester City

Such are the standards that dropped points in successive games represents something of a crisis at City after another unconvincing display. Still need to go some from here, though, to snatch true crisis-club status off their cross-city rivals. But it will be quite something if they can pull it off. Far more interesting than a fifth title in a row, anyway.

Crystal Palace

Hmm. You wouldn’t want to get too gloomy about it too soon, especially as there have been enough encouraging signs in enough games – draws against Chelsea and United, for instance – but no wins and just three points six games in makes it a vexing start now for a Palace side that finished last season so wonderfully. Five goals in six games tells a story for a team that has been shorn of much of the attacking guile that made last season’s fast finish possible.

Aston Villa

You know you’ve really made it as big-time Barclays when away draws get you in the losers section, but failing to close out a 2-1 lead at Ipswich is an irritating outcome for a side presented with the opportunity to go level on points with the league leaders.

Wolves

And the opposite is true when home defeats almost escape mention. Losing only narrowly to Liverpool while events elsewhere ensured none of the focus rests on the first team to reach five defeats this season can probably be viewed as a reasonable weekend’s work for Wolves.

But Gary O’Neil surely needs something tangible at Brentford next weekend to avoid an extremely uncomfortable international break.

Tottenham have condemned the “abhorrent homophobic chanting” from sections of the away support during Sunday’s 3-0 win at Manchester United.

Spurs issued a statement on Sunday evening vowing to take “the strongest possible action” over the offensive chants, which the PA news agency understands were allegedly aimed at United’s former Chelsea midfielder Mason Mount and Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta.

“The club is aware of abhorrent homophobic chanting from sections of our away support at Old Trafford today,” a Tottenham statement read.

“This is simply unacceptable, hugely offensive and no way to show support for the team.

“The club will be working closely with the police and stewards to identify anyone instigating or joining in with the chanting – we shall take the strongest possible action in accordance with our sanctions and banning policy.

“Supporters in attendance today can report anything they’ve seen or heard in confidence to supporterservices@tottenhamhotspur.com.

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“We shall be continuing our work with our LGBTQ+ supporters’ association, Proud Lilywhites, to ensure a welcoming and inclusive environment for all fans on matchdays.

“We are justly proud of our superb and loyal support, home and away. However, we all have a responsibility to act as ambassadors of Tottenham Hotspur and discrimination of any kind has no place at our club.”

Proud Lilywhites, Spurs’ LGBTQI+ Supporters’ Association, reposted the club’s statement on X along with the message: “Loved what happened on the pitch at Old Trafford; didn’t love the homophobic chanting off the pitch.

“We’re all Spurs fans just like you. When you sing these songs you’re telling us we don’t belong; and we do — as much as you do.”

Goals from Brennan Johnson, Dejan Kulusevski and Dominic Solanke secured a convincing away win, with United captain Bruno Fernandes shown a straight red card just before half-time for a challenge on James Maddison.

Former Man Utd star Ashley Young insists that Alejandro Garnacho and Marcus Rashford had “no confidence” in their 3-0 loss to Tottenham.

A month that started with a heavy Old Trafford loss to rivals Liverpool ended with another humbling by the same scoreline against top-four rivals Spurs.

Brennan Johnson gave the visitors an early lead during a one-sided first half that ended with Man Utd midfielder Fernandes being sent off for a challenge on Maddison.

Referee Chris Kavanagh showed a straight red card for serious foul play – a decision confirmed by VAR Peter Bankes – with Spurs adding further goals after the break through Dejan Kulusevski and Dominic Solanke.

Current Everton star Young insisted that Man Utd wingers Garnacho and Rashford were looking to “play the safe pass”, showing that they had “no confidence” against Tottenham.

Young said on Sky Sports: “I think it just showed today, where you’ve got the two wingers going one-v-one and instead of going to attack the space in behind, they’d rather go back and play the safe pass.

“That’s when you know you’ve got a winger with no confidence.

“As a winger previously as well, when you’re here, when you see a one-v-one, that’s when your eyes light up, that’s your time to shine.

“When players are not doing that, turning it down and wanting to go backwards, it’s not the way to be doing it.

“It’s one of those things. They are going to have to have a meeting between themselves and work out what is going wrong.”

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👉 Ten Hag sack unavoidable but Man Utd players ‘stealing a living’ and Rashford ‘just gave up’

With Man Utd sitting in 12th position in the early Premier League table, Young has called on the players to have a “crisis meeting” to sort out the current mess.

Young added: “You want to be on the front foot, you want to be attacking, you want to get the fans on side, you want to work hard.

“There’s none of that out there and that was just shown today that the players just look lost.

“We had a DNA at Manchester United where you’re on the front foot, you go and press teams, you squeeze teams, you get the ball back, you get corners, you get throw-ins… there was just none of it.

“It was like they went out today and they were just happy for Tottenham to have the ball and over the years that’s not been the Manchester United way.

“What is going to be the change? I do think there needs to be a crisis meeting.

“Those players in that dressing room need to have a look at themselves and have a meeting together without any staff there, just with the players, and work out where it’s going wrong, what’s happening and what they need to do.

“It’s getting back to basics because what is going on right now, the basics are not being done.”

Keeping Erik ten Hag last summer ‘looks increasingly ridiculous’ but giving him any transfer input after Antony was ‘madness’. Man Utd are an absolute mess.

Send your thoughts to theeditor@football365.com.

Spiderman meme

Anyone else reckon that Ange’s team talk today was “Lads, it’s United”?

Dave (LFC), Galway

Overheard from Old Trafford away changing rooms around 4.25pm today: “Lads, it’s Man Utd.

Mate.”

Chris Bridgeman, Kingston upon Thames

Lads, it’s Tottenham.

Eoin (who’s getting the Utd job?) Ireland

“Lads, it’s Tottenham”.

Anon

Leaked WhatsApp

‘Hi Gareth. It’s Jim. Do you and Steve fancy doing a bit of cash in hand?

Scholes’ Ballsack (not as ugly as Ten Haag’s football)

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👉 Gary Neville calls for Man Utd inquisition after ‘absolutely disgusting’ defeat to Tottenham

Football is dead

Well let’s preface the rest of this by saying that Man Utd are sh*t. Absolute dross. You’ve probably got to say it’s the manager but there are a few players there that are stealing a living. Is the new ownership any better? Well that’s a longer term thing but sticking with a Ten Hag looks increasingly ridiculous – and I was very much in the #ETHIN camp before the season started.

Maybe when all the new signings gel and the young players mature he’ll turn out to be the second coming of Fergie. It looks increasingly unlikely though, and the odds were small to begin with.

Anyway, the point is that it’s very hard to watch your team get battered at home (lads – it’s f**king SPURS?!) but it just becomes pointless and futile when you give a red card like that. A foul? A yellow? Of course, it was cynical. A red? Not a cat in hells chance was that a red card if it happened the other way round. There’s too many games now that are getting spoiled by the refs and if anything this referee’s call stuff is making worse. Who’d have thought that sticking with the opinions of people who objectively don’t know what they’re doing was a bad idea? Remember when Havertz was strangled on the pitch and the player didn’t get sent off? Then how on earth was that a red card today. They’re making it up as they go along.

I will not be watching any more premier league football until PGMOL are binned off, they’re ruining the sport. Them and UEFA with their ridiculous European Super Leagues (WTAF). And FIFA with their corruption and obsession with footballers playing millions of games at all times of the year. And the Saudis and 115 Abu Dhabi City battling out a bore draw on a Saturday morning. It’s all sh*te.

And don’t think I’m sat here thinking Man Utd would have got back into the game if Bruno had still been on the pitch (how is it a red?!). Spurs already had the beating of Man Utd before then albeit without any ability to finish their chances. What the red card did was rob us of the chance to see Spurs embarrass Man Utd 11v11 and provide a legitimate excuse for Ten Hag.

Utter sh*te.

Ash Metcalfe

Yes we were poor in first half and Spurs could have been 3 up but 1-0 at halftime and anything could have happened. But no, officials ruin the game again as a spineless Mr Magoo in the VAR room doesn’t correct the horrific mistake made by the ref.

Anything that happens after the red card is irrelevant. Having said that, Bruno can do with a stint on the bench and a kick up the ass as he has been abject for most of this season.

Arsenal for the league to even out these injustices.

Garey Vance, MUFC

I’ve made a huge mistake

Man U fluking the FA cup last season is the worst thing that could have happened to them. Forced them to stick with ETH.

Stuck with a manager who doesn’t seem to acknowledge any of his faults. They are gonna come 6th at most this year. ETH gonna use injuries again as an excuse.

The only thing that could be funnier is if they sack ETH and hire Southgathe. He might actually end up being better but the short term immediate meltdown will be hilarious.

ABU since 98

Anon

Two 3-0 defeats at home in a row. Have Man Utd ever done that before in their history?

Unless I miscounted, Solskjaer (who had to go) lost by 3 goals or more five times over three years. We’ve only started Ten Hag’s third year and that was his tenth defeat by 3 goals or more as Man Utd manager. Six of those were at home, all 3-0 and to teams including Newcastle, Bournemouth and f**king Spurs. Also Liverpool twice in a row. Then there’s the likes of 4-0 at Palace and 3-0 at Sevilla.

Remember when everyone said the 7-0 to Liverpool was a freak result? It wasn’t.

Keeping him on after the FA Cup was just like giving Ole the job permanently because of the PSG game. Letting him have any input into signings after Antony is madness but they signed two more of his Ajax lads summer just gone anyway. I don’t see much difference between ineos and the last crowd at the moment.

Eamonn, Dublin

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This is karma for 20 years of believing they would be the best team in the world forever.

And we’re all loving it.

Roll on manager no 7 to continue this gloriously expensive mediocrity.

rojapy

Keane learner

This shouldn’t need explaining but I assume it does to a Mailbox full of Arsenal fans this morning.

Man United being absolutely crap with 10 men (and also with 11 men), does not mean that Roy Keane was wrong to voice his opinion that Arsenal could have or should have been a bit more ambitious with 10 men.

One has nothing to do with the other.

Slightly hilarious, mind.

James, MUFC

Ugarte be kidding

Not a great day for you on Sunday, Man Utd fans.

You could analyse a number of things about it but that first goal, I mean Van der Ven, he just ran straight through that hole in the heart of your midfield, that really shouldn’t happen but it just keeps happening doesn’t it. Dear me.

But on the bright side, it’s just as well you’ve got that Ugarte bloke coming in – as you all keep saying, he’ll sort out that particular problem for you. An upgrade on Casemiro, for sure.

Oh no, wait. Hang on…..

– Andy H, Swansea

Ten Hag lacks emotional quotient

Trying to put my finger on the core of the issues after that non-performance from Man Utd. There are so many candidates for the foundational errors. Bruno Fernandes’s form and frustrations, Rashford’s continuing to flatter to deceive, the continued switching off, of the defence. 7 games in and a goal difference of minus 3 doesn’t augur well for the season. And the most damning thing is that man for man, you’d think Man Utd have a better team than Spurs.

I think Ten Hag’s problem is a bit like Rangnik’s issue as well. He knows the right thing to do, and has tactical ideas. He probably is a good analyst as well. But he’s just not getting into the heads and hearts of his players. Collectively the Man Utd players are switched off. Every action takes half a second to register. Players think of what to do after receiving the ball. Or are on their heels when being played through. Or are running the wrong way relative to the pass. Rangnik also consistently threw the players under the bus, which ETH doesn’t do. But he’s clearly unable to get them fired up. And this is with a core of players that he has managed before. Good managers have to manage both the analytical and emotional / mental side of the game. Having defended ETH all this time, I have to conclude that he is not able to get the players fired up. You can argue that managers shouldn’t need to at this level, but it’s always a key part of the game. At this point, There are at least half a dozen managers at so called smaller clubs in the Premier League who should be able to do a better job.

Bruno got a little unlucky with the red card but I suspect he’s running on fumes, having played himself into the ground for club and country for 2 years now. A couple of games out might actually be good for him. Zirkzee can play in his place. Meanwhile nobody has picked up that Rashford and Garnacho conspired to lose the ball from a position of good advantage for the first goal and Rashford just gave up after losing the ball.

Ved Sen (MUFC)

Hotspurred

Seventy five minutes gone, it’s clear to me that a top four place is beyond the reach of Erik’s abilities. Villa ( by a mile ), Chelsea, Newcastle and Hotspurs are a cut above.

When Sir Alex left, I stated to my United supporting boss, welcome to a new manager every 2 or 3 years. And here we are.

Uff, a third. Great for the travelling fans .

Perhaps Graham Potter might be interested. Looking for an Atleti win in the derby .

Peter. (Barca let in 4 , Ter Stegen being injured is a disaster)

Sunny & warm Andalucia.

MORE ON YET ANOTHER MAN UTD DEFEAT

👉 16 Conclusions on Man Utd 0-3 Tottenham: Ten Hag sack, Ugarte nightmare, Kulusevski dazzles

👉 Wasteful Tottenham still left laughing at Manchester United’s humiliation in Old Trafford rout

👉 Gary Neville calls for Man Utd inquisition after ‘absolutely disgusting’ defeat to Tottenham

All things must pass

Getting in there early, (writing in at 52 mins) but I think our perfect moment is ending, hence another musician title for my email.

Even Calvino and Garey Vance can’t justify this performance (though I am praying that they will somehow as, like most none Utd fans, I am desperate for ETH to stay).

‘Fred, AWB, Scott McT aren’t good enough for Utd, he’s getting rid of the deadwood’ but he’s replacing them with worse players.

It really is that simple.

Anyway, ETH, thanks for the memories. I can take solace that the FA Cup win saved your job and you managed to bring even more of your own players for the next manager to have to get rid of.

David (The fat lady is bellowing) Molby, Shrewsbury

📣TO THE COMMENTS! Should Man Utd sack Erik ten Hag? Join the debate here

Banter club

See, now what Bruno’s red card does is it gives Ten Hag (as well as Man Utd fans) a handy excuse and deflection point as to why they’ll have lost a game they were always meant to, even if they had twelve on the pitch today. Little doubt there will be many letters in tomorrow’s mailbox bemoaning the red as “controversy” but don’t let the deluge nor the deluded fool you, Spurs were winning this fixture from the off.

On Spurs though, I found the recent sentiments from someone who strangely referred to him- or herself as an AI fan (though if I were a supporter of The Tottenham, perhaps I’d also beg anonymity) rather lacking in any awareness or rationale. This person thought it strange Dave Tickner didn’t follow up with an effusive 16 conclusions on Spurs’ midweek Qarabag heroics. Two things here: 1) I actually always thought Tickner was a Spurs fan, but I don’t really know; and, 2) I actually watched much of that game and Qarabag was one of the worst sides I’ve ever seen (truly, and not hyperbole), yet they definitely had their chances and might’ve gotten a result on another day, despite the one-sided scoreline.

AI fans or not, why is it that Spurs supporters believe so piously in the elitism and superiority of their club when any and every factual evidence points so completely to the contrary. This has always mystified me. Is it due to their shoe-horning themselves behind the Big Six moniker ? Too easily I can think of at least five clubs with worthier credentials for their spot in a Big Six, and it’s such a stupid construct to begin with.

Here’s two shouts if I were to don an ill-fitting USA cap for a hot minute: the Los Angeles Clippers are the Tottenham Hotspur of the NBA. The Los Angeles Chargers are the Tottenham Hotspur of the NFL. Both these franchises play in the city in which I reside, and both are definitive banter franchises of the region and of their sport, who’ve long ago traded any chance of winning pedigree with perennial laughingstock status. But occasionally both the Clippers and Chargers will notch a big win somewhere, because such is sport. The unfortunate thing is, an occasional apex moment against a Qarabag yesterday or a crap Man Utd today will not suddenly undo a legacy of long-held, historic sporting failure.

Spurs could win a Carabao, FA Cup and Europa League treble this season and this combination of treble would be the most befitting of themselves. But I honestly don’t think it would move the needle much in terms of removing their deeply steeped premier banter-club status… it’s just been way too long now in the making.

Eric, Los Angeles CA (For a very long time Liverpool were linked with Timo Werner. And for a very long time I’ve said we’ve dodged the bluntest of Bavarian bullets there.)

A couple of things

Two issues to discuss for me after this weekend.

Erik may suck as a coach, but no one on this planet would whip that nightmare of a squad into shape. At the current state you’re far more likely to ruin [enter new player’s name] than he’s likely to fix your problems. You need a purge, and you need it soon.

Tomer, LFC (dark arts, winning ugly yada yada…)

Infamy, infamy

Not looking forward to Monday’s mailbox at all.

All those conspiracy theory emails all over again.

What’s that? Arsenal scored a goal when the ref didn’t give a free kick against them? An Arsenal player wasn’t sent off for a clear 2nd yellow card when the game was 2-2?

Who cares if they had 432 shots, 99.99% possession and 87 corners, it’s the decisions incorrectly given in your favour which have a bigger bearing on the result.

Apologies in the comments or by return please.

Howard (they’re yet to have a 90+ points season) Jones

Unconscious bias and Arsenal

With regards to Tom Leyton’s Mail on Sunday.

I agree with many of his points regarding the dysfunction in the PGMOL and the ‘mates club’ vibe it gives off.

However firstly, when yellow cards can be given for a multitude of one off reasons and accumulative fouling, a yellow card/foul ratio is a pretty poor set of data to base conclusions from. A team that is gobby towards the ref and kicking the ball away may accumulate more yellows despite fouling less. Less unconscious bias more idiotic players.

Secondly, if you are aware of unconscious bias and are concerned about its effects then surely you can weaponise this too? Notice that Villa (like very team) have had contentious decisions that have cost us points yet not once has Emery even mentioned them. Brian Clough told his players to be unquestionably polite to referees for exactly the same reason. Unconsciously, the referee may look forward to taking charge of your matches instead of worrying about your players/fans/managers hysterical reactions. Given the ego on some of these referees do you not think, unconsciously, you are bringing it upon yourselves?

To finish, the defence that everyone else gets away with it does not wash in primary schools or the justice system. It is not the high moral ground many people think it is.

Funstar (how about the arsenal fella that should have get a second yellow yesterday… unconscious bias or conspiracy?) Andy

Corner shop

Further to Ron Jeremias mail published on Sunday, and other previous missives about Arsenal corners, I’ll come straight out and admit I haven’t read actual rules (which would make me no different to most pundits to be fair).

But, surely if it isn’t against the rules to prevent the goalkeeper from leaving his line in order to catch or punch the ball it really should be. Regardless of whether the blocking players move or stand still, they are preventing the goalkeeper from making a legitimate defensive action, which is an obstruction, right?

If Arsenal are doing nothing wrong according to the current rules, then fair play to them as what they are doing, they are doing well. If no offence is being committed then it’s up to their opponents to come up with some other way to counter it.

Adam, LFC, Montreal.

Chelsea’s plan

Sometimes I think what if Chelsea’s plan all along was to sign a load of talented young players on long contracts, throw them in at the deep end during the chaos of the post Abramovic culture change and see which players could handle it. To forge a group of young players in adversity and then see which ones stick together and grow together. To create the bonds and resiliance that will be needed as this squad continues its journey from car crashing into a burning train wreck to the Champions League. What if they are waiting for the new team to fully form before they add a lethal #9? What if they move to Wembley for 5 years while they rebuild Stamford Bridge and sell the extra 7.5 million tickets and boxes for £1 billion?

Then I remember they made Frank Lampard manager and realise I must be dreaming.

Ben

Gordon the diver?

Wrong from whoever in Newcastle.

Everyone else on the BBC updates did it for me.

I have accepted that he’s the league’s biggest cheat, maybe you should too.

Fat Man (+Everton won so a little more sanguine than normal)

Proxy war

After watching the City and Newcastle game the other day I realized I was just watching two oil states engage in a proxy war. Is the future of football, just nation states buying teams to compete against each other? If so this could start to heat up a bit. Could a particular nasty injury to a star player kick off an international incident? I think it would make the premier league a bit more exciting knowing that a last minute winner headed in from Dan Burns could trigger WW3.

Conor Maximus, LFC

An article request

You did one about Potter going to Everton who have no wins.

Everton go on to win over the weekend.

Can you guys please write one about Wolves this week ( we are getting desperate).

Erik ten Hag has been blasted for “talking nonsense”, while Manchester United’s performance against Tottenham Hotspur “will lead to him getting the sack”.

Ten Hag has been heavily criticised after Man Utd produced their worst performance of the season in their damaging 3-0 loss against Tottenham Hotspur.

The Red Devils played half of the match with ten men but were on track to lose comfortably before Bruno Fernandes was sent off as Tottenham were well in control. Goals from Brennan Johnson, Dejan Kulusevski and Dominic Solanke secured them a well-deserved 3-0 victory.

The Dutchman was under pressure last season, but he kept his job after helping Man Utd beat arch-rivals Man City at Wembley in the FA Cup final.

After Man Utd were linked with several potential replacements, Ten Hag penned a one-year contract extension to commit his future to the club until 2026.

However, Ten Hag is currently among the favourites to be the next Premier League manager sacked and his recent interviews have received backlash.

MORE ON YET ANOTHER MAN UTD DEFEAT

👉 16 Conclusions on Man Utd 0-3 Tottenham: Ten Hag sack, Ugarte nightmare, Kulusevski dazzles

👉 Wasteful Tottenham still left laughing at Manchester United’s humiliation in Old Trafford rout

👉 Ten Hag sack unavoidable but Man Utd players ‘stealing a living’ and Rashford ‘just gave up’

Before the Tottenham match, Ten Hag claimed patience is required with Man Utd as they have focused on signing young players. In response to this claim, ex-Feyenoord manager and midfielder Willem van Hanegem has hit out at his compatriot, claiming he’s “talking so much nonsense”.

“Manchester United are so mediocre, you just don’t believe it. That was also evident on Sunday against Spurs,” Van Hanegem said.

“Even crazier is that Ten Hag keeps saying the strangest things. The money he was allowed to spend to strengthen his team would give a horse the hiccups. But he keeps talking about a young team, young signings and they are still in a process or something.

“I saw the starting XI against Twente, with the ages: Onana (28), Mazraoui (26), Maguire (31), Martínez (26), Dalot (25), Ugarte (23), Fernandes (30), Eriksen (32), Diallo (22), Zirkzee (23) and Rashford (26). That wasn’t the B1 [reserve team] or something, right?

“What a load of nonsense. I wouldn’t dare say it all, that nonsense. Yes, that Danish striker Rasmus Højlund came on. He’s 21, but worth €65m. How is it possible that someone at such a big club can keep talking so much nonsense?”

READ: Scholes questions why ‘dead’ Man Utd signed £43m man after Spurs loss: ‘Give us something!’

After the Spurs matches, Ten Hag boldly claimed Man Utd had enough chances to get back in the game.

Following this claim, former Premier League striker Chris Sutton said Ten Hag has “verbal diarrhoea” and the 3-0 loss against Tottenham “will lead to him getting the sack”.

“Ten Hag has verbal diarrhoea. I don’t know what game he was watching. The lap at the end is a lap for losers,” Sutton said.

He later added: “No finer sight in the Premier League than Angeball played at its best…the pile on earlier on this season was so over the top… for Erik ten hag that’s the type of performance which will lead to him getting the sack.”

Gary Neville believes Manchester United put in an ‘absolutely disgusting performance’ in their 3-0 defeat at home to Tottenham Hotspur, saying serious questions need to be answered by the players and by manager Erik ten Hag.

Ange Postecoglou’s side ran riot right from the very start at Old Trafford, with Brennan Johnson tapping in the opener after just three minutes following an unchallenged run up the left from Tottenham defender Micky van der Ven.

Spurs wasted numerous chances in the rest of the first half as Manchester United were repeatedly half-hearted and sluggish in their defensive efforts, with Johnson hitting the post and Andre Onana stopping two one-on-one opportunities that should have been buried.

Bruno Fernandes was dismissed for a high challenge late in the first half, and Dejan Kulusevski’s volleyed flick over Onana off a deflected cross within two minutes of the restart killed off any remaining hopes of a United comeback.

Ten Hag’s side briefly and belated showed a bit of spirit in response but were unable to find a goal, and Dominic Solanke poked home from close range off a flicked-on corner to round off an excellent day for Spurs – and a nightmare afternoon for United.

Former Red Devils and England full-back Neville said on the final whistle: “Brilliant from Tottenham, and we should talk about that first, because it shouldn’t be lost that we’d be saying pretty harsh words about Ange Postecoglou [and] Spurs if they were on the receiving end of this type of performance today.

“They were outstanding. They played really good football from minute one, they settled into the game and they got really good goals at the right times, and their £60m man (Solanke) gets one as well. Van der Ven was special for that first goal.

“But for Manchester United…the Manchester United fans boo the referee going off in that corner, but that’s only half the story. The story today is that in that first half…you can’t say ‘from nowhere’, because Manchester United have been inconsistent all season, but they have chosen to put in the very worst performance, their very worst possible showing.

“It was an absolutely disgusting performance in that first half, in effort, quality, everything you want in a football team. There are going to be a lot of questions to answer for that group and the manager in the next week.”

Graham Potter is “ready to return” to management, but where could he go? Here are five possible Premier League destinations for the former Chelsea boss…

Out of work for over 18 months, Potter has taken plenty of time to reset since leaving Stamford Bridge in April 2023.

He’s presumably made the most of this time off by having plenty of lavish holidays funded by the payoff from his five-year Chelsea contract. But he’s got the itch for management again and could foreseeably return before this season finishes.

It has been intimated that the England job could lure Potter back into the game, but his confessed preference for “day-to-day” management suggests he has his eye on another club job when he makes his comeback.

But who could take him? Manchester United or Tottenham Hotspur, perhaps? The Big Six pair are among five potential next moves for Potter…

Brentford

Our beloved Tickers was ahead of the curve in predicting Potter’s imminent return as he raised Brentford as a left-field option for the 49-year-old.

While this move could raise a few eyebrows as critics consider whether he could do better than the Bees, it would actually make a lot of sense.

Brentford are unlikely to be without a manager anytime soon as the only way I can see them and Thomas Frank going their separate ways is if the amiable Dane is plucked away by a supposed bigger club.

Pep Guardiola was recently glowing in his praise for Frank, who is said to deserve a “big move”. For whatever reason, the Brentford boss has always been overlooked by the Premier League elite but were this to stop, the London outfit would be wise to turn to Potter.

While the former Chelsea head coach may prefer to hold out for a club with a higher ceiling, few Premier League teams present a lesser risk than Brentford and this move would be sensible as he gets his foot back in the door.

READ NEXT: Big Weekend: Man United v Tottenham, Man City, McKenna, Diaz, German title clash

Everton

Alternatively, Potter could always go the other way and take a risk with relegation-threatened Everton.

The Toffees were one of last season’s surprise packages as they – even with a points deduction – comfortably avoided relegation from the Premier League under Sean Dyche. But their winless start to the season is a cause for concern for supporters in their final season at Goodison Park and this could be the year they *finally* fall through the trap door.

Everton ideally only need to scrape through this campaign without it becoming a disaster ahead of next season’s stadium move as they can look optimistically into the future under new owners, the Friedkin Group.

They could be made to endure plenty of pain in the process and this has pre-emptively seen them linked with former boss David Moyes.

We’ve already given you eight reasons for and against Moyes coming back. The stars could align perfectly for the Scotsman’s return but nostalgia aside, he would be a like-for-like Dyche replacement and the veteran is unlikely to oversee a required seismic change.

Whereas Potter – who is reportedly one of Everton’s preferred alternatives – would forge optimism at the start of a new era by positively overhauling their style of play while the club, for the first time in a while, can look forward rather than purely focusing on stabilising in the Premier League.

Manchester United

While Potter to Man Utd is not quite as dramatic as Vincent Kompany’s undeserved move to Bayern Munich, it would still represent a manager falling upward after a failure.

Potter was one of several managers linked with Man Utd in the summer as Sir Jim Ratcliffe and his recruitment dilly-dallied with their supposed post-season review before eventually sticking with Erik ten Hag.

However, Ratcliffe was not overly enthusiastic in his backing of Ten Hag as the Dutchman was only given a measly one-year contract extension and Man Utd’s poor start to the season has their head coach on the plank again.

Man Utd sacking Ten Hag feels inevitable after his frail side made the same old mistakes in their 1-1 draw against FC Twente in midweek and Potter is among the favourites to replace him.

MORE MAN UTD MESS ON F365…

👉 Manchester United certain to sack Ten Hag now worse manager has ‘piled pressure on’

👉 Ten Hag sack? Man Utd stance revealed by Romano amid ‘a matter of time’ claim; four managers eyed

👉 Ten Hag explains who to ‘blame’ for Manchester United being bad – and the answer will shock you

Tottenham Hotspur

The loveable Aussie became the tetchy Aussie as he was weighed down by Spurs’ uncompromising insistence of diverting into being a shambles. The Ange Postecoglou sack talk was raised again after their poor performance in their North London derby defeat to Arsenal.

Postecoglou put pressure on himself when he insisted after his side’s 1-0 loss to Arsenal that he always achieves success in his second season at a club and it’s certainly about time they put their miserable Europa League record right.

Spurs have racked up three straight wins across all competitions, but his future is far from secure ahead of what could be a decisive match – for both sides – at Old Trafford against Manchester United on Sunday.

Potter was mooted as the perfect candidate for Spurs before Postecoglou arrived. But should Ange-ball continue to deliver mixed results, he could soon be back in the frame.

READ NEXT: Gakpo, Nkunku, Sterling among the Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea backups to shine in Carabao Cup

West Ham United

The Hammers opted against overseeing a major culture shift in the summer as they replaced Moyes with Julen Lopetegui. The two veteran bosses are renowned for their pragmatic tactical approach and the Spaniard is yet to get the desired results.

On paper at least, the Hammers did some brilliant transfer business in the summer, but their new additions are yet to bed in and Lopetegui is reportedly already under pressure.

Lopetegui did a great job in his short spell at Wolves and is especially respected in Spain. But his move to West Ham was puzzling and if they were willing to appoint the 58-year-old, they may as well have stuck with his Scottish variant.

If the Hammers board do not go running back to Moyes with their tail between their legs, Potter would be an interesting alternative and the Englishman should lap up the challenge of getting the best out of West Ham’s immense breadth of attacking options.

Manchester United host Tottenham in the Premier League on Sunday. These two are very evenly matched and that reflects in our combined XI.

GK: Andre Onana (Manchester United)

It’s quite close between Onana and Guglielmo Vicario but the Man Utd man gets the nod. He cost the Red Devils more points than he won in the Champions League and the Tottenham man didn’t really cost his new side any points, but since both arrived in England last summer, we have been more impressed with the Cameroonian.

To be honest, this was a 50-50 so if you disagree that is fair enough.

RB: Pedro Porro (Tottenham)

Porro is usually unlucky to be snubbed in these when up against other clubs in the big six but he comfortably gets in ahead of Noussair Mazraoui.

His transfer to Spurs was a confusing one considering he was signed by Antonio Conte and appeared to be an out-and-out wing-back. Conte’s departure was inevitable and his future at the club seemed to depend on what formation the next manager wanted to play.

When Ange Postecoglou joined, it felt like Porro would not get much of a chance as a right-back but he has been first choice there and has barely put a foot wrong. He has probably been the most consistent performer in Postecoglou’s team.

CB: Cristian Romero (Tottenham)

Another very consistent player at Spurs is World Cup winner Romero. He has played every minute for the Londoners this season and last term, Spurs only won one of the five he missed, losing at Wolves, at home to Aston Villa, and being thumped by Brighton.

Out of every centre-back at both clubs, Romero is comfortably the best.

CB: Lisandro Martinez (Manchester United)

Romero partners his Argentina teammate Martinez at the back. This position was pretty tough. Matthijs de Ligt could easily get in, as could Micky van de Ven. Ultimately, we have gone with Romero and Martinez.

Man Utd are definitely a worse team without Martinez and they probably wouldn’t have won the FA Cup had he not returned for the final, which ultimately saved Erik ten Hag’s job and got the club into Europe.

LB: Diogo Dalot (Manchester United)

Destiny Udogie is very unfortunate to miss out but Dalot’s ability to perform in an incohesive side makes him our first choice in left-back.

It will be interesting to see what happens when Luke Shaw returns from injury. He will surely get back in Ten Hag’s starting XI and if he does, we imagine Dalot will move over to right-back and Mazraoui will drop to the bench. Dropping the Portuguese would be very harsh.

MORE ON MAN UTD FROM F365

👉 Manchester United certain to sack Ten Hag now worse manager has ‘piled pressure on’

👉 Big Weekend: Man United v Tottenham, Man City, McKenna, Diaz, German title clash

CM: Bruno Fernandes (Manchester United)

Man Utd captain Fernandes walks into this team, as he usually does with our combined XIs. And as we always say, love him or hate him, he’s a terrific footballer.

CM: Kobbie Mainoo (Manchester United)

Spurs fans will probably disagree with Mainoo over Yves Bissouma but here we are. Is it English bias? No, I’m Scottish? Is it bias against one team or the other? No, I hate them both.

Mainoo is a fantastic young player and if Manuel Ugarte can find his feet, we will get to see the very best of him.

CM: James Maddison (Tottenham)

After a streak of Man Utd players, we are back discussing a Tottenham star. That star is Maddison, who scored his first goal of the season in last weekend’s victory at home to Brentford.

Maddison only has five goals in a Spurs shirt but his 11 assists is a solid return in 36 appearances. Postecoglou’s side suffered without the England international last season after an incredible start to life at the club. He did quite well when he returned but Maddison’s output – as it tends to do – waned in the latter stages of the season. Spurs will hope that isn’t the case again in 2024/25.

RW: Alejandro Garnacho (Manchester United)

Garnacho has not got properly up and running this season but he is still Man Utd’s best attacker. The competition isn’t great, to be fair.

LW: Son Heung-min (Tottenham)

Son has blown hot and cold under Postecoglou but is still an easy decision in most combined XIs we do.

He only has two goals in seven appearances this season but will benefit from having Dominic Solanke in the attack with him, while Brennan Johnson is scoring goals for fun at the minute.

ST: Dominic Solanke (Tottenham)

There are three strikers to choose from: Solanke, Rasmus Hojlund and Joshua Zirkzee. We think it was pretty straightforward to go with the Spurs man, who has proven he can score regularly in Our League.

Last season, he found the back of the net 19 times in the top flight and has two in two for Spurs – who paid a club-record fee to sign him from Bournemouth in the summer – going into the clash at Old Trafford.

Alan Shearer has made his Premier League predictions with the Newcastle United legend forseeing a draw between Man Utd and Tottenham.

Both the Red Devils and Spurs have had mixed starts to the new Premier League season with the two sides winning two, drawing one and losing two matches so far.

A victory for Erik ten Hag or Ange Postecoglou will catapult them up the table at this early stage of the season and leave the other manager under intense pressure.

And Shearer reckons the Premier League rivals will hold each other to a score draw on Sunday with lots of chances created for both teams.

Shearer told The Metro: “This is a huge game in terms of the top four. Both teams haven’t had the start they wanted albeit Spurs won last weekend, it’s a really tough one to call. Both teams aren’t in great form. It won’t be a great result for either team but I can see this being a draw.

“It was really interesting of Ten Hag to leave Marcus Rashford out, which I found really strange. Whether it was because of a knock or for a disciplinary reason, whatever it was, when you’re a forward and you haven’t scored for such a long time, you get your goal and then another two in midweek, then you’re left out three or four days later. I found it really strange.

“My guess is that he’ll be back in the team this week and if he can take the form from the last two games, he’ll be a key figure in what happens for Man United. He always is.

“Spurs have players that can hurt United. James Maddison is a top player, he’s one of the players that could say he played his part and did okay during Spurs’ slow start to the season. I’m a fan of his, I like what he brings to the team and he got his goal last weekend. Confidence wise, that’ll be great for him and he’ll play a huge part, absolutely.

“If Spurs do get into those positions and turn chances into goals then it’ll be tough for Man United as well because they do give you chances and that’s why I see it being a score draw.”

MORE PREMIER LEAGUE COVERAGE ON F365…

👉 Big Weekend: Man United v Tottenham, Man City, McKenna, Diaz, German title clash

👉 Gakpo, Nkunku, Sterling among the Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea backups to shine in Carabao Cup

👉 Spurs have a miserable Europa League record – for so many reasons it’s time to put that right

Shearer is also predicting victories for Liverpool and Arsenal, with the two Premier League title rivals set to gain points on leaders Man City.

On Arsenal against Leicester City, Shearer added: “I can’t see Arsenal being as defensive in this one as they were for the second half at the Etihad! It’d be a huge surprise if Leicester took a point back. I can’t see it happening with the form that Arsenal are in and the confidence and belief they’ll take from last week’s result. I won’t go with anything crazy, I just see a convincing home win.”

On Liverpool’s trip to Wolves, Shearer continued: “Wolves did alright for large parts of the game against Aston Villa but I think Liverpool will have too much for them in forward positions so I’ll go for an away win.”

And Shearer reckons Newcastle will hold Man City to a draw at St James’ Park this weekend, he said: “Over the years, we’ve seen some blockbuster games between Newcastle and City at St Jame’s Park, and I’m expecting the same again for a couple of reasons.

“Newcastle’s cup game has been cancelled so they have a free week in terms of no midweek football. Man City on the other hand will go into the game without Rodri. Having said that, Man City can still hurt you with the players they have.

“It’ll be a really tough game. City will still be favourites for the title and favourites for this game but it’ll be a really good atmosphere and Newcastle will have to feed off that.

“When you’re as poor as they were against Fulham, you have a right of response and they have to respond in the right way because, prior to last week, without playing well they were getting results, so the match against Fulham was a bit of an eye opener and a reminder to who and what Newcastle are.

“So many games last year and the year before, Newcastle’s identity was about pressing teams, being aggressive, putting teams under huge pressure with energy and determination and we haven’t seen that yet this season so they have to get that back into their game. If they can do that on Saturday then it’ll be really tough for Man City. I’m going to go for a draw.”

The Barclays Crisis Club heavyweight title is on the line at Old Trafford as Manchester United face Spurs, while Man City face another tough test after the Arsenal battle and Luis Diaz gets the ideal chance to continue his fine goalscoring form.

Game to watch: Manchester United v Tottenham

A game between two teams locked together in mid-table on seven unconvincing points from five unconvincing games, teetering on the crisis club precipice with both managers under severe pressure.

Potentially far more fun for everyone else, then, than the tawdry spectacle served up last weekend when the biggest game of the weekend was between two teams who are really good. How boring. Give us flaws. Give us managers flailing around, trying to assert their credentials by pleading for time to develop younger players or the increasingly passive-aggressive use of the word ‘mate’. That’s Barclays heritage.

The worry for both these teams is that so far this season they have answered precisely none of the questions that existed about them coming into the campaign. United are making all the same mistakes in all the same ways as last season, with little evidence Erik ten Hag is about to hit upon a solution that survives a stress test of more than two or three games, while the inherent vulnerabilities of high-wire Angeball continue to be laid bare, with further questions about whether the ensuing attacking output generated is even really that good or worth it.

Funny thing about Spurs, though: they currently find themselves on a three-game winning run for the first time this year. It is perhaps the least convincing three-game winning run in the history of the sport, but a three-game winning run it nevertheless is.

And while that run may lack for compelling quality, it doesn’t lack for balls. Having scored two late goals to avoid humiliation in the Carabao at Coventry, Spurs were again required to come from a goal down in the Premier League against Brentford. There’s a decent case for saying this was Spurs’ best league performance of 2024, which is itself to damn with faint praise, but there was a purpose and directness to their football in the face of that early setback that had been sorely lacking.

Against Qarabag in the shiny (sh*te) new Europa League they ought to be prioritising, Spurs found themselves not a goal but a man down in the early stages and will have expended more effort and energy than might have been hoped in securing that 3-0 win.

But at least it was a win; United, for their part, could manage only a 1-1 home draw with Twente in the same competition on the back of last weekend’s stalemate against winless Crystal Palace in the league.

It’s a familiar one step forward, two steps back for Ten Hag’s team and this is a huge game now for both sides. Spurs are in urgent need of a result against someone half-decent having lost their last seven ‘big eight’ fixtures in the Premier League. United require some evidence that this season is going to look any different to the last, and a win in a fixture they were lucky to escape with a 2-2 draw last season would be something.

Defeat for either leaves their league season in serious early distress, in all probability already seven points adrift of the top four, and will increase the volume of those already really quite loud questions that have been echoing around since last season.

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Team to watch: Manchester City

It really shouldn’t be forgotten just how ordinary City looked against Arsenal’s 10 men last weekend. The late drama and swirling noise should not distract from how poor it was, and City must get straight back to business with a dangerous trip to a Newcastle side who have yet to truly convince this season but have proved mighty adept at snaffling plenty of points regardless.

City ought to win, of course, because that’s nearly always the case. An uneasy truce may have been declared between dug-out and boardroom at St James’ Park but it’s clear all is not well after a difficult summer, and the 10 points they won from their first four games flattered them long before last weekend’s sound beating at Fulham.

City have little room for error with all of last season’s top four on their tails again and this is a tougher fixture than Pep Guardiola might have liked to see on the itinerary after the stress and effort of last Sunday.

City do at least have the advantage of going first in the Saturday lunchtime slot rather than having to respond to the efforts of their rivals. Given City face Newcastle and Arsenal, Liverpool and Villa face Leicester, Wolves and Ipswich respectively, that may be just as well.

Manager to watch: Kieran McKenna

It’s been an interesting start to life back in the Premier League for Ipswich. And despite still searching for a first win five games into the season, a largely encouraging one. The only defeats have come against Liverpool and Man City, neither of them humiliating, followed by draws against Fulham, Brighton and Southampton.

There has been nothing to suggest Ipswich are going to be unable to compete in this division under their impressive young manager, but at some point it would be lovely to see that first win ticked off to prove it can be a season of more than just avoiding embarrassment.

The visit of Aston Villa gives McKenna and his side another chance to test themselves against the division’s current elite before a sequence of games around the interlull that look far more likely to provide opportunities for that first win with West Ham, Everton, Brentford and Leicester a run rich with potential if this weekend can be negotiated without too much unpleasantness.

Player to watch: Luis Diaz

A Liverpool team in rich goalscoring form head this weekend to a Wolves side that has already shipped six at home to Chelsea and must fear a repeat dose.

Liverpool, with one notable and costly exception, have made an excellent start to life under Arne Slot and the sheer depth of their attacking talent was in evidence as a much-changed side sauntered to a familiar-sounding 5-1 Carabao victory over poor old West Ham this week.

Slot’s first seven games haven’t perhaps been the toughest set of fixtures imaginable, but they have yielded 18 goals with the obvious prospect of more to come against what is currently the division’s joint-leakiest defence.

And one player in particular who appears to be enjoying the new regime is Luis Diaz. He’s always been an eye-catching part of Liverpool’s attack, but one for whom the numbers haven’t quite matched the visuals.

That’s all changed this season. After scoring 16 goals in 67 Premier League appearances under Jurgen Klopp, it’s currently five in five for the Colombian under Slot. Sure, that may only be half as much as Erling Haaland, but it’s more than anyone else and that feels rather more relevant.

Diaz is in the finest goalscoring form of his Liverpool career, and there’s not many teams you’d rather face while in that form than Wolves right now.

Football League game to watch: Sheffield Wednesday v West Brom

It’s Sky Sports+ for the pick of the weekend’s Championship games as surprise leaders West Brom take their unbeaten record north to Sheffield and a Wednesday team once again deeply embroiled in the relegation picture despite starting the season with a thumping 4-0 win over Plymouth.

It’s been just one point from five subsequent games for Danny Rohl’s side, who finished last season so impressively to beat the drop. West Brom, on the other hand, go from strength to strength. They finished fifth last season but a full 12 points behind fourth-place Southampton and lost in the play-off semi-finals.

They appear to be a different beast this season, though, dropping only two points in six games via a draw with Leeds and boasting the league’s top scorer in Josh Maja.

This is the Baggies’ fourth year in the Championship, their longest such stint since their first relegation from the Premier League back in 2003. They’ve always found yo-yoing back into the top flight relatively straightforward when it’s previously been required, never taking more than two seasons about it and finishing no lower than fourth.

It’s been harder graft this time, but the trend is at least in the right direction after finishes of 10th, ninth and fifth. Early signs suggest a team capable of avoiding any more play-off unpleasantness.

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European game to watch: Bayern Munich v Bayer Leverkusen

There are two European must-watches really this weekend, with the Madrid derby on Sunday. But that’s already starting to look like a scramble for the minor placings in La Liga given the form of Barcelona, so forced to choose one we’ll take what looks like a crucial early title clash in Germany.

It’s the perennial champs against last season’s upstarts and a game that feels like it carries a similar early yet potentially season-defining heft as last week’s Premier League clash between Man City and Arsenal.

Having, to their eternal shame, lost a domestic game of football already this season, Bayer are on the back foot heading to Munich to face the leaders, who have four wins from four and appear in no mood for f***ing about this time.

A win for Bayern opens up a six-point lead that even this early in the season would appear to be a formidable one, but it’s never quite as straightforward as that with this odds-defying Leverkusen outfit.