Cartilage Free Captain

Remember Jack Clarke? Tottenham Hotspur signed the promising attacking midfielder for a then-eye popping €10m from Leeds United back in 2019 when he was 18 and he was tipped for big things at Spurs, but he never quite panned out. Spurs initially loaned him back to Leeds but he was on the outside as Leeds had eclipsed their maximum number of loans so he barely played at all and was recalled midway through the season. He later had loans at QPR and Stoke City before heading on loan to Sunderland in 2021-22, and he joined the Black Cats permanently the following summer.

You can argue that Spurs abjectly failed with Clarke’s development while at the club, and it’s hard to argue against that point. Clarke has certainly blossomed while at Sunderland, to the point where he’s now close to finalizing a lucrative £20m transfer to newly-promoted Ipswich Town.

So why are we talking about a player who hasn’t been at Spurs for two seasons and who only made one senior appearance? Because the one smart thing Spurs did when they sold him to Sunderland was include a 25% sell-on clause in exchange for a lower transfer fee. That means Spurs are due a £5m windfall when Clarke finalizes his transfer to Ipswich.

£5m isn’t a lot, but consider it’s most of what Spurs initially paid for Clarke back in 2019, so that makes it a pretty great deal all in all. You can argue that it might have been better to stick with Clarke and then we’d actually have a decent young player on our hands right now instead of £5m and a small loss on the books, but hey, this is better than a poke in the nose.

I guess if nothing else we’ll get a good look at Clarke in the Premier League to see if, now that he’s 23 years old, he’s got the goods. Then we can decide whether we want to cry in our beers over how we let his young career stagnate while he was at Spurs. The £5m is still nice, though.

OK, let’s get this out of the way first since I somehow managed to NOT make the most obvious joke-reference the last time I talked about Ash Phillips: I guess we’re going to find out if he can do it on a cold, wet Tuesday in Stoke.

As expected, Tottenham Hotspur have completed an agreement with Championship side Stoke City to send young central defender Phillips, 19, to his second straight loan to the English second division.

Phillips had a fantastic loan with a very bad Plymouth Argyle side last season, where he helped keep them from relegation and was named Argyle’s Young Player of the Season. This time he’s staying in the same division, but with a (slightly) better team — Stoke isn’t very good, but that probably just means that he’ll be able to get a lot of minutes, and that’s exactly what he needs right now.

I know some fans are side-eying this loan because it leaves Tottenham (at present) light in defensive cover, but central defenders typically don’t hit their peak until at least their mid-20s. Ash has got plenty of time to learn his craft and get better. Maybe he becomes a Tottenham regular in a couple of years, maybe he doesn’t. But sending him out to get regular playing time is better than him sitting on Spurs’ bench at age 19, so I’m all for this.

Good luck, Ash! Go lock down that position, and for god’s sake don’t forget to pack your umbrella, you’ll need it.

Why can’t Tottenham Hotspur have nice things? Spurs striker Dominic Solanke, the club’s record signing who made his debut on Monday against Leicester City, never missed a single match last season at Bournemouth, picked up an ankle injury in his first Spurs game and will miss tomorrow’s home opener against Everton.

You can’t make this stuff up, I swear.

Ange Postecoglou tried to minimize the injury, saying it didn’t look particularly serious and that Dom would be back soon, just not in time for tomorrow’s match.

“Dom picked up a knock in the last game. He got through the game but it flared up the day after and he’ll miss the game tomorrow. It’s an ankle injury, he copped it really early on, someone went across his ankle. It just depends on his recovery [when he returns], obviously we’ve got the international break. but it’s not serious.”

So I guess we all need to hope that Richarlison is back and at least close to full fitness, because he’s almost certainly going to be starting against his old club tomorrow. Richy had a cameo appearance at the end of the Leciester game where he flashed a header wide of the post, but that was his first appearance in a Spurs shirt since last spring when he picked up an injury of his own and later had surgery.

Normally this might provide an opportunity for Will Lankshear to potentially make his season debut if Richy isn’t 90 minutes fit, but he’s also out after picking up a mild hamstring injury while playing for Spurs’ U21 team this past week. Football.London is reporting that the injury will cause him to miss a couple weeks of action, but wasn’t serious enough to keep him out long term.

Additionally, Rodrigo Bentancur will also miss out on the Everton match under the Premier League’s concussion protocol after a head-to-head clash against Leciester, but this was expected and reported several days ago. Yves Bissouma is an option to return from his club-imposed suspension for whippets use to start in midfield, but Postecoglou seemed to suggest that he’s not the ONLY option tomorrow and we might see a surprise.

“Biss is available but we’ve got some options there. The whole idea of trying to bulk up the squad is for these situations. He’s available for selection. The bridge building continues.”

What does that mean? Boy, you got me, but it probably involves either Lucas Bergvall or Archie Gray making their first Premier League start.

Tottenham’s newest signing, Wilson Odobert, has secured his work permit and is now available for selection. Postecoglou didn’t get drawn in to whether we’d see Odobert in action tomorrow, but this was his first opportunity to talk about Wilson and what Spurs fans might expect from him.

“We went through the same sort of processes. He’s one that we identified really early on in the summer. It’s no secret we were looking for a wide player and Wilson was one of the ones we highlighted. We had to go through certain steps to get these things done. They’re not as straight forward as saying ‘that’s who we want, go and get them’. Obviously getting big Dom in was very important for us and we spent a lot of time working on that deal but once Dom was done there was one target and that was Wilson and that happened really quickly.

“I really like the way he plays in the wide areas. He’s different to our other wingers. He’s a dribbler, he likes to get into the front third. He can play either side, he can play central. He’s had a really good development if you look at his trajectory from PSG as a youngster to Troyes, playing in Ligue 1, and France and Premier League football before the age of 19. I think he ticked all the boxes for us and he’s a fantastic young bloke as well, so really happy to get him in.

“With all the players we’ve signed, I think irrespective of age we’re signing them because we think they can make an impact. I certainly see that with Wilson. He’s a year older than Archie and Lucas and they’ve already made an impact. We sign players because we’re still in that stage of building a team. I won’t bring players here who I don’t think can meaningfully contribute to us in the short-term and Wilson definitely will.”

Tottenham kick off at home against Everton tomorrow (Saturday) at 10 a.m. ET / 3 p.m. BST. The match is not televised in the USA or UK, but will be streamed on Peacock.

For 30 minutes it looked like this might be a season to remember for Tottenham Hotspur...then came an hour of match time that implied it could be a very long year. In reality, the transformation under Ange Postecoglou is still very much ongoing. There will be more bumps and stumbles along the way, but the impressive start against Leicester shows there will be some bright moments as well, and that certainly might be the case this weekend.

Saturday brings Everton to North London after a rough 0-3 opening weekend against Brighton. The Toffees have been in a rough place recently, but last year’s performance actually would have been enough to finish 12th were it not for the points deduction. Still, not much is expected from Everton (aside from avoiding relegation) this season, so this is a great opportunity for Spurs to quickly bounce back.

Tottenham Hotspur (t-9th, 1pt) vs. Everton (t-13th, 0pts)

Date: Saturday, August 24

Time: 10:00 am ET, 3:00 pm UK

Location: Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London

TV: Peacock (USA)

Like Tottenham, it was Everton who looked the better side at first last week, but the tide quickly turned toward the Seagulls who scored all three goals. Ashley Young’s red card did not help the home side’s cause, but the outcome was determined before his sending off. At the other end of the pitch, perhaps it could be time for summer signing Iliman Ndiaye to enter the lineup. The Marseille transfer made a substitute appearance last week, but for a team who had the second-fewest goals in the league last season, there is a huge need for someone to step up in the attack.

Spurs won the home fixture last year, winning 2-1 behind goals from Richarlison and Heung-Min Son. The Brazilian then bagged a brace against his former club in the reverse fixture before Tottenham conceded a 94th-minute equalizer to drop two important points. Despite all of Everton’s struggles, Spurs have actually not done the double in this tie since the 2017/18 campaign.

Picking out spots

Expected goals are an imperfect measurement, but the big takeaway from Monday’s draw was how Tottenham failed to capitalize on its opportunities. Indeed, this is nothing new: after averaging 0.35 more goals than xG over the first 28 matches last season, Spurs finished the season averaging 0.38 fewer goals than xG during the final 10 contests. Against Leicester it was not just an xG issue, as too often the attack did not even yield a shot, but it is clear this team is missing a killer instinct.

The challenge will not be easy to overcome with Jordan Pickford in net this Saturday. Despite a tough opening performance, the Everton keeper was fourth in PSxG+/- last season, which measures how many goals he prevented compared to how many a keeper would be expected to concede. Combining this strong shot-stopping ability with Tottenham’s own struggles in the box as of late could yield yet more frustration. Everton does have issues along the backline with Jarrad Branthwaite still out, James Tarkowski possibly joining him, and Young suspended, but Spurs must capitalize on their chances.

Invertigo

Aside from Archie Gray’s versatility and the apparent revival of Djed Spence, one spot Tottenham did not really address this summer was fullback. Both Destiny Udogie and Pedro Porro had positive seasons last year, but much continues to rest on their shoulders. The transition to Postecoglou’s system is perhaps felt most significantly at these spots, and there really is no Plan B should it not work out.

Porro started the season as well as possible, getting on the scoresheet, but Udogie left something to be desired, likely due to an incomplete preseason. But with Spurs’ issues creating chances, as well as too many opposing counters with very little resistance, both of these players need to consistently be playing at a high level for Postecoglou’s strategies to play out. Everton is not a side that should offer a ton of resistance, so both fullbacks can and must be an active part of the build up, and creativity, in the final third this weekend.

good morning!

Hoddle Headquarters is going to do something different for this Track of the Day: We’re going to feature a track featuring a member of the commentariat!.

Today’s Track of the Day comes from the band Radio Free ABQ, lead by our very own COYSinABQ!

The band’s new song Tito (Far Away, Not Lonely) is part of their upcoming record Destination.

The song follows a boy named Tito and his canine Luna, who helps the boy figure out his path as he dreams big. It was only sometime later COYSinABQ realised the song had connections to his own roots as a small-town Kentucky kid who knew there was a bigger world out there somewhere.

Radio Free ABQ formed in Alburquerquee, New Mexico, after our commenter moved there. Before then he spent 30 years in Cincinnati leading different bands.

And you can also here our beloved commenter on lead vocals and drums!

The song takes inspiration from the famous Don Quixote quote, “To surrender dreams – this may be madness”.

Now it’s got me thinking that maybe I should pick up the book. It’s a lovely song!

Enjoy this very special Track of the Day.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Tito (Far Away, Not Lonely), by Radio Free ABQ

And now for your links:

Jack P-B ($$): Should Spurs rethink their hunt for a midfielder?

Transfer rumours: Ipswich Town agree fee to sign Sunderland’s Jack Clarke

Transfer rumours, part two: Aston Villa hold talks to sign Raheem Sterling

It sounds like Ashley Phillips is getting ready to head back to the Championship. Adam Leventhal, writing for The Athletic, is reporting that Tottenham Hotspur is in “advanced talks” with Stoke City to send Phillips there for a season-long loan to the English second division.

You will recall that Phillips had a highly successful loan in the Championship last season when he spent the season at Plymouth Argyle (alongside Alfie Devine), and where he won Argyle’s Young Player of the Season award. Plymouth ended last season just outside the relegation zone, and Stoke wasn’t that much better, finishing in 17th with 56 points. Nobody’s predicting Stoke to pull up any trees in the league this season, but they shouldn’t be in danger of relegation, and have been tipped for mid-table, so it seems like a decent enough place for Ash to land and get a bunch of first team minutes. That’s really what he needs if he’s going to progress and eventually crack Tottenham’s first team.

Seems like a good idea to me, anyway. We’ll see what happens.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that Manor Solomon doesn’t have much of a future at Tottenham Hotspur at this point, at least not for this season. He was signed as basically a cheap punt last summer from Ukrainian side Shakhtar Donestk in the middle of a eastern European war that was disrupting the Ukrainian Premier League, played a couple of games early last season, and then picked up a big injury that ruled him out for the rest of the year.

Since then, he popped up in a couple of early preseason matches for Spurs this summer but hasn’t really made an impact, and there’s been reporting that Spurs are trying to ship him off on loan since he’s not part of Ange Postecoglou’s plans for the season. Pursuant to that, Israeli sports outlet Sport5il is now claiming that Leeds United are showing interest in taking Manor to the Championship for the season.

This is the first report we’ve gotten about potential loan destinations for Manor, and the fact that it’s appearing in the Israeli media lends it some pretty immediate plausibility. The report doesn’t go into much detail, but says that Solomon has interest from clubs in England and abroad (Italy, Spain, and Germay are mentioned), but that his preference is to stay in the Premier League if possible. Not sure if that is possible, but the Championship would be the next best thing perhaps if he feels settled in England at this point.

I can’t see a situation where Solomon gets registered for Spurs’ Europa League squad at this point and that would pretty much be his best opportunity to get minutes with Tottenham this season, so a loan makes sense. It gets him out to somewhere he can actually play and maybe establishes a market for him at the same time. Who knows if he ends up at Leeds, but it seems clear he’s going to be loaned out SOMEWHERE before the close of the window.

We reported last week that Tottenham Hotspur U23 striker Jude Soonsup-Bell was set to leave the club on a permanent basis, with interest in him coming from both the English Football League and overseas. Well now we know where he’s going — overseas, to Spain.

So going to a club that only just promoted to the Spanish second division after winning their playoff isn’t the sexiest of moves, perhaps, but for a young player who really doesn’t have any first team experience, it’s not a bad gig! Tottenham signed him from Chelsea’s academy for practically peanuts, meaning he was always a player who they were likely to try and flip for a small profit at the earliest possible opportunity. In this case they’re doing a Marcus Edwards-style deal — letting him leave for free but taking a small bet that he’ll improve and eventually be sold for a decent fee and they can recoup some costs down the road with a 40% sell-on clause. Pretty smart, actually.

And about that “not the sexiest of gigs” part — he gets to live in CORDOBA! I mean, come on! That’s a lovely city.

This all sounds good to me, but as always we wait for the official confirmation. And since I’m writing this on Wednesday night and scheduling it for early Thursday morning, there’s a decent chance this gets announced while I’m sleeping and before I get a chance to edit this post to a DONE DEAL article. If that happens — oh well. Edit it in post, I suppose.

Tottenham Hotpsur didn’t put out the performance that it or Spurs fans wanted on Monday, the first match of the Premier League season. Pedro Porro put Spurs ahead with a headed shot from a James Maddison cross in the first half, but a defensive lapse allowed Jamie Vardy to equalize for the Foxes and Spurs didn’t have enough in the tank to earn a winner. The final score was a rather frustrating 1-1 away draw.

But who cares about that — LET’S POLKA! A few weeks back Weird Al Yankovic released a new polka medley — “Polkamania!” — on YouTube and Spotify. I’ve embedded it above. It’s a good one, too — one of his better ones! I’ve been a Weird Al fan since the mid ‘80s after I first heard “Another One Rides the Bus” on a late night barely audible Doctor Demento show broadcast from a Cincinnatti radio station 250 miles away. So a new polka medly got me thinking — and yeah, that’s today’s theme.

There are too many Weird Al polkas for the number of categories, so I tried to pick a representative sample. You probably have your favorites depending on your own musical tastes and when (or if) you first started listening to Al. These are my picks, and I stand by them. Yell at me in the comments, because you always do.

Here are your Tottenham Hotspur player ratings for their season-opening 1-1 draw against Leicester, to the theme of Weird Al polka medleys.

One of Al’s earliest polkas — actually his first — this one is still my favorite, but that probably says more about me than it does about you. The song selection is all over the place, which was a hallmark of early Al polka medleys — and that’s okay, because it gave him broad latitude to find songs that actually WORK as polka arrangements instead of shoehorning them into a theme. And they do all work! Of course Al is able to add elements of genuine humor sprinkled throughout, and ends with a couple of classic rock anthems by Rolling Stones and The Who, which Al will return to later. This is a classic.

No Tottenham Hotspur players were as good as this polka. Sorry, but it’s true.

This one is, and I think I’m correct about this, Al’s first polka medley that’s arranged around a musical theme (1990s alternative rock) and not just a random collection of songs, and it’s pretty great! Opening with Beck’s “Loser” is a great vibe, and someone managing to make a polka out of NIne Inch Nails’ “Closer” just shows you Al’s own musical genius. I’m partial to Al’s earlier work (mostly because I liked the original music better), and this is a great medley.

Sorry, no Tottenham Hotspur players in this category either.

Honestly, this might just be one of the greatest polka concepts Al every came up with — rounding up all the late ‘90s/early ‘00s white guy performers and bands and polkaizing them. And they strangely all work as polkas! “Chop Suey” is a particular highlight, as is “Down with the Sickness” and ending with “The Real Slim Shady.” Could do without the Kid Rock, but he definitely meets the brief. A great medley.

James Maddison (Community — 3.5): I was worried about Maddison during preseason, but he roared back in this one with one of the more impressive displays in a Tottenham shirt... until about the 60th minute when he completely ran out of gas. Impressive cross into Porro’s head, and did well to organize the offense with creativity, something both Spurs wingers did not provide much of.

Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 3.5): Couldn’t do anything about the Vardy header and had a couple of pretty spectacular saves. Docked a half star for screaming at Lucas Bergvall which made me uncomfortable even though Lucas totally deserved it.

I know. I know! More Early Al from the 1980s. But this one has always been close to my heart for reasons I just can’t explain — making a polka medley from perhaps the most misogynistic Rolling Stones compilation album ever made shouldn’t work. And yet... it does. So well. It’s a departure for Al to do a polka based on one band, and he pulls it off, even managing to smirk a lot at some of the PROBLEMATIC lyrics. I especially love the inclusion of the tenor banjo in the “Brown Sugar” arrangement, the modal transition to Miss You, the exuberant shouting of HEY (hey!) YOU! (you!) Get off of my cloud!, and the closing of “Satisfaction” which is, quite frankly, bad-ass. I love this so much.

Dominic Solanke (Community — 3.0): OK, so he got into good positions but either put his shots wide or straight at the keeper. But the important bit is he got into good positions and also did very well with the ball at his feet. You can see how Ange wants to use him, and I think this was a pretty good performance considering he’s been with the squad for about a week.

Pedro Porro (Community — 4.0): We can never count on Porro scoring goals because he’s as likely to put it in row Z as he is to score a banger, so we should enjoy them when they happen. It was a well timed run and an even better on-target header. He was tangentially involved in the defensive breakdown in the lead up to Vardy’s goal, but I’d considering he was recovering from a tackle he’s probably one of the least culpable. Pretty good match.

Micky van de Ven (Community — 3.5): You know what? That was a pretty good match considering he’s barely had any preseason. Don’t have many notes, except to say that we’re screwed if he gets injured for an extended period of time.

Lucas Bergvall (Community — 3.5): This kid is a STAR and might already be our best player. Controlled the tempo in a difficult situation with swagger. Not that he’s perfect — got screamed at by Vicario for a defensive goof that resulted in a diving save — but

Another wide-ranging medley of early ‘90s hits that does a good job of bringing a bunch of disparate songs together in a humorous way, but somehow it doesn’t come across as cohesive as some others in the corpus. But there are some genuine moments of comedy in this one (“DRUM SOLO!”) and I always giggle at the jazzy downtempo change arrangement of “Humpty Dance.”

Cristian Romero (Community — 3.0): Honestly, that was a very good defensive performance undone by one bad defensive breakdown. And it was pretty bad! That said, on replay I think Cuti is covering for Sarr losing his man centrally, and I think Cuti expected Porro, who was recovering from a tackle and couldn’t recover in time. A big whoopsie-doodle in what was otherwise a solid defensive performance. (“But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?”)

Destiny Udogie (Community — 3.0): Worked hard on that left side but looked pretty rusty. Willing to let that slide considering he’s barely back from injury.

Pape Sarr (Community — 3.0): IDK, he was all right I guess, lots of running around, decent pressing, but he pooped out pretty quickly in the second half. Set up Solanke with a good through ball but that was more or less the extent of his highlights. And also was just as culpable for Vardy’s goal as Cuti, since he seemed to lose his man forcing Cuti to make a choice to help cover, leaving Vardy free at the back post.

Archie Gray (Community — 3.0): I called Archie “out of his depth” here and I hold to that, though I didn’t think he was awful. I just think the 6 is a tough enough job in Ange’s system and Archie’s not quite ready for that level of pressure. He’s also painfully one-footed which limits his passing options in a position where he really needs them.

Dejan Kulusevski (Community — 3.0): Had a pretty fantastic opening five minutes after he came on, but faded pretty spectacularly after that. Maybe should’ve started in this one? Gotta see more from him, and for god’s sake Deki — SHOOOOOOOT.

One of the sadder things about the evolution of pop music over the decades is that as the millieu shifts from 80s pop to alternative to grunge to more R&B influences, the more Al has to try and shoehorn songs into his polka framework. Al tries his best here, but I just don’t many of these songs actually WORK as polkas, which is the entire central conceit of these medleys. So this one comes across as Al LARPing as a polka parodist. Can’t get behind this one, sorry.

Rodrigo Bentancur (Community — 3.0): Snapped into a few tackles and had a couple of smart shots on target, but I don’t think he’s anywhere close to at his pre-injury best, and that’s sad. Hope he recovers soon from his angry head-knock (and hopefully got the racist knocked out of him).

Son Heung-Min (Community — 2.5): Decent first half, but equally awful second half. I think selecting him might have been a poor choice against this Leicester team, but he’s the club captain, it’s not like he was going to stay on the bench. Probably should’ve been subbed off 10 minutes earlier than he was as he was getting locked down by James Justin late. James Justin!

Timo Werner (Community — 2.5): OK, he was playing out of position, but did very little to unlock Leicester’s defense in the little time he had on the pitch.

Ange Postecoglou (Community — 3.0): Frustrated by Big Ange after this one. I appreciate the dramatic tactic shift to a 4-1-4-1 after Lolo’s injury, but the subs came way, WAY too late and I was not impressed by letting Porro limp around for five minutes when he was obviously struggling out there. Feel like Ange is as culpable for this result as any of the players, and I hate saying it.

This one is a departure for Al in a way that just doesn’t come off. It’s one thing to do a polka medley of songs that aren’t polkas, but “Bohemian Polka” is just a polkafied “Bohemian Rapsody”. We know that song. We know all the funny sing-along bits. Making it into a polka just doesn’t seem all that interesting, and I hate saying it but it just doesn’t hit.

Brennan Johnson (Community — 2.5): I called Brennan “frustrating” in my takeaways piece, and I hold to that opinion that he was the worst Spurs player on the pitch. A couple of decent crosses into the box, but seemed extremely reluctant to take on defenders and looked overall lackadaisical.

Don’t do that. Weird Al rules. Embrace the polka, the humor, the zaniness. And for God’s sake, go see him live in concert at least once before you die.

Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating

good morning!

I won’t be fooled again. No sir.

After a horrendous summer filled with scorching temperatures and oppressive humidity, a cool wave has descended upon Washington DC.

The wather is, dare I say, pleasent.

So much of it conjures memories of autumn. Ahh, how I long to walk along the streets of Old Town Alexandria. The leaves crunching below my feet. Ahh, the cool crisp air.

But I must snap from this trance. I am no fool.

It is false fall (or autumn, I guess).

Do not let Starbucks’ rollout of seasonal beverages deceive you, we are still in the throngs of summer. I have lived in the East Coast long enough to know of this ephemeral respite.

There was once a day I was foolish. I wore a jumper in New York City - and a jacket! How foolish, how naiive.

No, no. I won’t be fooled again.

Still, autumn whispers sweet nothings in my ear. Calling me closer, closer, closer.

Drawing me in to its sweets arms. How I wish to bring myself to draw myself near.

But no, I won’t be fooled. For it it summer still. These temperatures are but a mirage. A mirage! Stay away from me, sly deceiver. Stay away!

I will gladly crawl into the arms of autumn when the time comes. But today is not the day.

Fitzie’s track of the day: My Fairy King, by Queen

And now for your links:

Tottenham named best-run men’s club in England by Fair Game Index

Football London on Tottenham’s latest training session