Cartilage Free Captain

Hey! Remember how Tottenham Hotspur FC had lots of injuries, so decided to fire their medical team and hire some new folks?

And remember when they did the exact same thing a year later?

Well, it’s happening again! Kind of. Not really. It’s classified.

In reality, Spurs’ medical team is still taking shape following another review late last year and the significant changes to backroom staff in the aftermath of Ange Postecoglou’s firing and Thomas Frank’s hiring - and good thing too: given the fact that Spurs are once more in the midst of an injury crisis, you wouldn’t blame Spurs’ new ownership for kicking off a third review.

We now have some detail as to the shape of that team now as well, thanks to The Athletic’s Tottenham Hotspur correspondent Jack Pitt-Brooke. Jack took questions via a Reddit AMA (ask me anything for those still trapped in the 20th century) a couple of days ago, and he answered a question around the state of Spurs’ medical department in great detail, with some information we were not previously privy to.

He confirmed the revamp is still in progress following the departures of recent appointees Adam Brett and Nick Davies in the summer. Adam Brett (who is a dead ringer for Alan Tudyk) came to Spurs from Brighton, and took on the Director of Performance Services role: essentially, leading efforts in the realms of physical health, sports science, nutrition, psychology, and all those other medical measures that can give clubs an edge (you know, like horse placenta). Nick Davies, coming from West Ham, reported into Brett, and was Head of Sports Science.

JPB also mentioned that since their departures, Spurs have made a couple of new appointments. It turns out Brentford weren’t just plundered for their coaching staff: Chris Haslam, Tom Perryman, and Nick Stubbings made the trip across London as well. Stubbings took up the lead medical position, while Perryman was appointed as Head of Strength & Conditioning. A prior appointment, Michael Cooper, was internally promoted to the Head of Sports Science role to replace Nick Davies.

That brings us to Chris Haslam. He was named Head of Performance, which seems similar to the title previously held by Adam Brett, but is not the same role. The replacement for that vacancy was actually announced by the club back in October: Dan Lewindon. Lewindon comes from City Football Group, and his appointment is by all accounts a bit of a coup for Spurs. The announcement mentioned he’d be joining the club following his notice period, but JPB indicated in his Reddit post that wouldn’t be until 2026, meaning a long period without somebody herding the cats.

All this dysfunction and disruption will not have been helpful for Spurs’ walking wounded (and seemingly perpetually cursed squad). Turnover in these key roles could have played a part in certain players’ recoveries, propensity towards injury, or overall fitness; but maybe whatever happened was going to happen anyway. The intensity and volume of modern football continues to rise, and with it the number of serious injuries to players. That’s really the story here.

Which is why it is all the more important that Spurs get these hires right. Hopefully, this time they have.

What a week for Troy Parrott!

The former Tottenham Hotspur player scored two goals for Ireland against Portugal last week before surpassing those heroics with a hat-trick against Hungary to send Ireland into the UEFA World Cup qualifying playoffs.

For those of you who haven’t seen the goal yet, it’s worth watching. And it’s worth watching it again:

I have no idea quite how this sequence of events unfolded. You have that last-ditch longball into the box, a bit of a wandering header and then Parrot somehow finds space between two Hungary defenders, beats the keeper and taps the ball into the back of the net with his toe.

Absolute scenes at the Puskas!

And for those of you who haven’t seen Parrott’s post-match interview yet, that’s also worth checking out:

It’s a humongous moment for Troy Parrott, and a huge moment for an Ireland team that less than a week ago seemed consigned to looking ahead to the 2028 Euros.

Instead they’ll be looking ahead to March, where they’ll partake in the semi-finals.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Tattoo’d Lady, by Rory Gallagher

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Tottenham vs Arsenal: How last season’s tears were followed by Spurs’ WSL revival”

BBC: “Frank had ‘unique’ Man Utd & Chelsea talks on same day”

The Irish Times: “Troy Parrott cries tears of joy after fairytale hat-trick books World Cup playoff place”

The Guardian: “England win every group game without conceding after Kane’s double sinks Albania”

Tottenham Hotspur Women hosted their arch-rivals Arsenal in the first Women’s North London Derby of the season on Sunday. The two teams came into the match level on points with 15 each, with Arsenal holding fourth in the table by goal differential. In a hard-fought game that had moments of end-to-end attacking but ultimately settled into a defensive battle, neither team could find the back of the net and the game ended in an even, and ultimately fair, scoreless draw.

Tottenham head coach Martin Ho started an identical lineup to the one that lost 4-2 away at London City last weekend, a decision that raised a few eyebrows but that was vindicated in the first half. Spurs club captain Beth England once again started on the bench, with Tinka Tandberg starting in a front three along with Jessica Naz and Matilda Vinberg. Drew Spence, Eveliina Summanen, and Olivia Holdt played in the midfield behind, with a back four of Toko Koga, Clare Hunt, Amanda Nilden, and Ashleigh Neville, with Lize Kop between the sticks.

The match was a fairly even affair, and entertaining with both teams looking to push forward and create opportunities. Spurs looked dangerous early, but allowed Arsenal to settle, with the visitors holding much of the possession advantage in the first half. That said, while Arsenal had much of the ball, Spurs’ defense frequently frustrated the visitors; Arsenal held the shot advantage with 13 to Spurs four, but only four shots on target, and few of them troubling Kop.

Tottenham struggled to create attacks of their own, however they did look threatening on the counterattack at times. That industry rarely led to a shot, but Spurs did not look like a team that was trying to bunker. In the last ten minutes, Tottenham seemed content to try and see out the scoreless draw, hoofing the ball defensively into space as their defenders tired.

Spurs did their best to nick a winner late by bringing England in for Tandberg at 60’, and Ho brought Olga Ahtinen for Summanen and Martha Thomas for Vinberg at 75’. Lena Gunning-Williams also made a late cameo just before extra time, coming in for Holdt.

The match felt like one of those games where both teams were waiting for the other team to screw up. Ultimately, neither team did, at least in any way that really mattered. The final score was a 0-0 draw, and Tottenham will come away feeling happier about the result, but feeling like they could’ve done more to take all three.

Here are my match reactions from a highly entertaining scoreless draw in the Women’s North London Derby.

Match reactions

Who’s ready for a North London Derby? No, not that one, the OTHER one. Tottenham Hotspur Women host arch-rivals Arsenal today in the first Women’s NLD of the season. Spurs are coming off of a 4-2 loss away at London City Lionesses last weekend, but are still having a good start to the new season under head coach Martin Ho. Spurs are currently fifth in the table, level on points with Arsenal, who are in fourth. Spurs have only ever beaten Arsenal once — a historic 1-0 win in 2023. That said, Spurs defeated Arsenal 4-3 in a preseason friendly in August. Can Spurs do it again? Anything’s possible!

Spurs flying high behind the play of new signing Tinka Tandberg and midfielder Olivia Holdt, and are solid at the back behind CB pairing Toko Koga and Clare Hunt. But they’ll need to be good on both sides of the ball in order to get a result today. Incidentally, this match is at Brisbane Road, and I’m a little disappointed by that, as these are the kinds of matches that normally make for an anticipated match at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

The match is not televised in the USA, but is on Sky Sports in the UK, and streamed on ESPN Select in the states.

Tottenham Hotspur Women vs. Arsenal

Brisbane Road,

TV: not televised (USA), Sky Sports Premier League (UK)

Stream: ESPN Select (formerly ESPN+)

I hate international football.

But given the injury (and form) situation at Spurs, a couple of weeks off for a chunk of the squad is a welcome respite; and there’s no way our internationals could pick up injuries, right? RIGHT? Of course, when it comes to Tottenham Hotspur, nobody is safe - expect news any day now that Antonin Kinsky has somehow had an arm amputated while training with Czechia; even though he’s not in their squad. It would just make sense for something like that to happen to Spurs.

For some of those called up for their countries, however, the minutes continued to pile up. Spurs’ center back cadre all saw 90 minutes for their nations - a slight concern given the injury history of Cristian Romero and Micky van de Ven in particular - with Cuti and Kevin Danso both on the winning side of 2-0 scorelines. Van de Ven wasn’t quite as lucky, held to a 1-1 draw as Netherlands held on to top spot of their World Cup qualifying group, with Xavi Simons thankfully remaining seated on the pine.

Guglielmo Vicario also saw a rare start for Italy, keeping a clean sheet in a two-goal victory over Moldova, with Rodrigo Bentancur rounding out those from Spurs who went the distance. Lolo’s Uruguay battled their way to a goalless stalemate with Mexico.

It was somewhat a case of feast or famine though when it came to Spurs’ internationals. Though the above added significantly to their already heavy workload, minutes were in short supply for others - though not necessarily by choice. Pedro Porro played just one half in Spain’s 4-0 win over Georgia in what seemed like (thankfully) planned minutes management, but injury scares for a couple of others were the culprit for reduced playing time. As Dustin wrote a couple of days ago, Lucas Bergvall never managed to even make the pitch for Sweden, sent back to London while still suffering the aftereffects of the concussion he sustained against Chelsea; and Pape Matar Sarr limped from the pitch after 49 minutes in Senegal’s 0-2 loss to Brazil with an apparent knock.

To round things out, Brennan Johnson made a brief seven-minute cameo as Wales kept their World Cup hopes alive with a 1-0 win over Liechtenstein, while all of Djed Spence, Joao Palhinha, and Richarlison failed to see the pitch, with the latter in the opposing dugout to Sarr’s Senegal. England were none the worse for Spence’s absence, cruising to a 2-0 victory against Serbia, but Portugal could have perhaps used Palhinha’s defensive nous as they suffered an embarrassing 2-0 loss to Ireland with Cristiano Ronaldo the recipient of a red card and Spurs alum Troy Parrott the recipient of a brace.

I still hate international football.

Spurs International Appearances:

Cristian Romero (90 mins, clean sheet): Angola 0-2 Argentina - Friendly

Kevin Danso (90 mins, assist, clean sheet): Cyprus 0-2 Austria - UEFA World Cup Qualification

Micky van de Ven (90 mins) & Xavi Simons (unused sub): Poland 1-1 Netherlands - UEFA World Cup Qualification

Guglielmo Vicario (clean sheet): Moldova 0-2 Italy - UEFA World Cup Qualification

Rodrigo Bentancur (90 mins): Mexico 0-0 Uruguay - Friendly

Pedro Porro (45 mins, clean sheet): Georgia 0-4 Spain - UEFA World Cup Qualification

Pape Matar Sarr (49 mins): Brazil 2-0 Senegal - Friendly

Richarlison (unused sub): Brazil 2-0 Senegal - Friendly

Brennan Johnson (7 mins, sub): Liechtenstein 0-1 Wales - UEFA World Cup Qualification

Djed Spence (unused sub): England 2-0 Serbia - UEFA World Cup Qualification

Joao Palhinha (unused sub): Ireland 2-0 Portugal - UEFA World Cup Qualification

It’s no secret that Tottenham Hotspur have struggled somewhat for fluency in the attacking third so far this season. Thomas Frank is yet to settle on a front three and Xavi Simons is the only attacking midfielder with any sort of real creative output. Unfortunately, quality options to solve the first problem are in short supply, and Xavi actually needs a rest sometimes so as not to be added to Spurs’ ever growing injury list. What is a football club to do?

If only a certain ginger from Sweden was available, perhaps two cockerels could be conquered with a single piece of ruby.

Well, that time seems to be drawing nearer! Dejan Kulusevski has been out now with a knee injury (and the ensuing recovery) for several months, and after Thomas Frank indicated last week that Deki was still yet to be training on grass, a return prior to Christmas seemed unlikely. While that is still the most probable prognosis, a small sliver of hope appeared in the last couple of days (a feeling likely unfamiliar to most Spurs supporters): it appears things are progressing well, as Dejan Kulusevski is now training on grass!

A social media post from teammate Destiny Udogie showed the Swedish attacker being put through his paces by Spurs coaching stuff, while apparently on some sort of training camp in Dubai. It’s a big step in Deki’s quest to be back playing football this season, and provides some sort of encouragement amongst the carnage Spurs’ squad has suffered over the last few months. Though there is likely a lot of work left before Deki can make his return in Lilywhite, the fact he is up and running definitely sparks joy.

Here’s hoping he is back in time to make a tangible impact on Spurs’ fortunes this season!

It was obvious that Lucas Bergvall got his bell well and truly rung early on in the 1-0 home loss to Chelsea two weeks ago. The Swedish international midfielder took a ball to the noggin inside two minutes and looked dazed on the pitch, even as he was getting looked over by Tottenham Hotspur’s physios. If this were five years ago, he’d likely have been allowed to continue, but Premier League’s concussion protocol mandated that he be withdrawn after exhibiting symptoms. He missed the rest of the match as well as Tottenham’s next two matches against Copenhagen in the Champions League and the 2-2 draw vs. Manchester United.

It was thought that he was ready to ease back into competition during the international break after he was called up to play for Sweden in World Cup qualifiers at Switzerland and home to Slovenia. But Swedish outlet Aftonbladet reported yesterday that Bergvall has withdrawn from camp and returned to London after a “setback in training.”

The Sweden football federation made the following announcement, which confirms Bergvall is still exhibiting long-tail effects from the concussion:

“Lucas Bergvall will not be available for selection in the men’s national team’s next two matches due to the after-effects of the concussion he sustained in the Tottenham-Chelsea match on 1 November.”

“We had agreed with Tottenham’s doctor to do some tests during the week and then go full speed so that Lucas could feel how he was. When there was a reaction, there was no hesitation. We don’t want to take any risks.”

It’s certainly a bummer for Lucas, but it remains the right call to prioritize the health and safety of an athlete. Concussions are no joke, but they were almost treated as one for a long time in football, and it’s good that this has changed. While getting some playing time minutes under his belt for Sweden could’ve been a good thing for Lucas as he works his way back to fitness, it wouldn’t be if he’s still in recovery, which he clearly is.

This means the earliest Bergvall might be available is Tottenham’s next match — the North London Derby next weekend — or possibly the Champions League match away at PSG.

It’s the international break, which means it’s time to check in on Dancing With The Stars for the second (and final) time.

Last time we hoddled about this show all we wanted was to know the status of Andy Richter the Swedish German. The sidekick to late-night comedy icon and heavenly tall man Conan O’Brien was getting his steps in the 34th edition of this show (crazy!).

Apparently Richter made a big splash with his energy, humour and TikTok videos (not that I’ve seen any). But here’s one of him dancing:

I’m not gonna lie: This is the most footage of this programme I’ve seen in at least 15 years. I never quite understood the show, but I understand Andy Richter.

For those of you who want to know more about him, I recommend watching one of his other shows. He’s got a few:

Anyways, it’s the international break. The good news is we’re one day closer to getting our Tottenham Hotspur football. Til then, enjoy Andy Richter clips.

Fitzie’s track of the day: I’m a Cuckoo, by Belle and Sebastian

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Man arrested for allegedly verbally abusing Mason Mount during Manchester United game at Tottenham”

The Standard: “Spurs news: Radu Dragusin issues injury update with comeback ‘really close’”

Reuters: “Ronaldo sees red as Ireland stun Portugal to keep hopes alive”

ESPN: “Italy’s quest to the World Cup is yet again, through a playoff”

Despite this past weekend’s 4-2 loss at London City Lionesses this past weekend, this season has been a vast improvement for Tottenham Hotspur Women. Spurs are currently fifth in the table, level on points with Arsenal with 15, a tally that is only five points less than their entire point total from last season after just eight games. New head coach Martin Ho has implemented an exciting and attack-forward style that Spurs’ players have adapted to, despite making only two summer signings in striker Tinka Tandberg and defender Toko Koga.

But get ready for an exciting new player in January. Reports out of Norway say that Tottenham Women have an “deal in principle” to sign 20-year-old Norway international and attacking midfielder Signe Gaupset from NK Brann when the transfer window opens in January.

The initial report comes from Nettavisen, who state Gaupset will join Spurs for a Norwegian league record 5m krone (£378k), and the move would reunite her with Ho, who managed her at Brann. Gaupset just extended her contract at Brann last season, but this bid would represent real money for a women’s team from a small league. The previous record was 2m krone for Julie Blakstad, now at Manchester City.

Norwegian media outlet TV 2 reports that full agreement has been reached, with only the medical remaining; the deal will go through when the English transfer window opens in January. Gaupset has also spoken about the move, suggesting she chose Spurs as the best option for her development.

“If it goes through, that’s really cool, of course. It sounds cool.

“We decided [Tottenham] would be a great next step. Playing time is the most important thing. When you go to one of the biggest clubs, competition is tougher. There are pros and cons to everything. But joining a club where I’ll get to play and develop is what matters most.”

TV 2 also reported that Brann received large bids from numerous clubs, including powerhouses Lyon, Barcelona, and Real Madrid. The choice, ultimately, came down to Gaupset, and she chose Spurs.

“There’s been so much to take in and so much new information. So many clubs have been interested. I’ve been able to compare them and figure out what really matters to me when choosing a new club. It’s been a big learning experience.

“It really comes down to the league. The English league is a bit more balanced, and the culture outside football would be a bigger adjustment elsewhere. The language is easier there too.”

Gaupset is a young player, but an exciting one. She turned a lot of heads while playing with Brann in the Champions League in 2023-24 and for Norway in the Euros, and while stats from the Norwegian Topserien (which just ended last week) are hard to come by, she had 15 goals and 14 assists for Brann this season, putting her the league’s third highest scorer and the league leader in assists.

Her Champions League stats from 2023-24 when she was 18 are also pretty dope.

She will leave Brann with statistics of 33 goals in 121 matches, three league titles, a Norwegian Cup win, and a quarterfinal appearance in the Women’s Champions League. She profiles as a shooty attacking midfielder, and her signing would suggest that she’s likely coming in as the heir to Kit Graham in Spurs’ attacking band. Graham, 29, has been at Tottenham since 2019 and is loved by Spurs fans, but she’s also coming off of two recent ACL injuries and has been used sparingly by Ho so far this season. Midfielder Maite Oroz also sustained a knee injury in October, and Gaupset likely not have to wait long to get minutes in the WSL.

Tottenham do love to mine Scandinavia for talent, and they’re going back to the well with this signing. That’s okay. Gaupset profiles as a player you can dream on, though this would be a significant step up in competition for her. That said, it also signifies Spurs are ready to once again spend real money to get players in to improve the team, and that’s pretty exciting. I’m looking forward to seeing what she can do in the second half of the season!

Good morning, dearest hoddlers. I have a little bit of a two-for-one today. Two hoddles. Same amount of fun. All for the same price.

Hoddle one:

This is really just a quick update to Wednesday’s hoddle.

I awoke on Wednesday to a rather lengthy post from Will explaining to me Americanos and the good ol’ fashioned Italian-designed Moka pots. In his wisdom, Will suggested I add hot water to my 3-cup Moka pot coffee. I took this suggestion to heart.

Now, this inspired me. I didn’t quite go that way - but it reminded me I have a leftover milk frother from a previous coffee maker. I fired that badboy up with my almond milk to create some frothy milk and poured it into the coffee.

I can’t claim this to be a latte, cappuccino or any sort of espresso drink. Firstly, because I didn’t use espresso beans. Secondly, it was an ad hoc decision at 7am. The milk was a bit too frothy for my taste (I prefer something a bit creamier). I like adding milk to my coffee because I think it’s fun to see the colour change.

But I now think I will purchase some espresso beans to begin experimenting with espresso-style drinks in the near future. We’ll see how this milk frother holds (so far, not a fan but maybe I’ll get a better one).

Hoddle two:

It’s getting dark, so please stay safe and light up. By that I mean LED lights, of course. No one needs to be struck by oncoming traffic (pedestrians, cyclists, motor vehicles or otherwise).

Your hoddler-in-chief went for a run after work last week and was about to use his cool LED light, only that it no longer works. “Gosh no,” fitzie said to himself. “Okay okay, let’s get through this one and then buy a new light for next week’s post-work run.”

So I did my 8-mile run, and it got really freaking dark during it. I ran very gingerly along the National Mall.

I’m having a nice cooldown at the end in a part of Washington DC where the brick-layered sidewalk is uneven because of how old it is. Fellow pedestrians are walking the other way, so I move slightly to my right to not bump into them.

In the darkness I do not see the bricks protruding from the ground, knock my foot on it and fall. And I fell hard - really, really hard.

“Oh gosh are you okay,” the passers-by wailed as others shrieked in horror.

“Aye, I am,” Fitzie responded after rolling on the ground in a great deal of pain. Fitzie then turned around, exhaled an elongated expletive before yelling “That hurt,” as he limped the rest of the way home, gripping his left hip.

One fist-size bruise - the colour of a rich aubergine - appeared on fitzie’s left hip after he cleaned off the blood when he got home. A second fist-sized bruised showed itself on his lower left hip the next day, as well as a third bruise and adjacent scrapes on his left elbow, cuts on his left hand, a fourth bruise on his left knee and a fifth and final bruise on his right knee.

It really, really hurt. A week has since passed and all five bruises remain. (Although FWIW your hoddler-in-chief is pretty dang tough and ran a 14-miler on Sunday).

So please, let your hoddler-in-chief’s pain be a reminder to illuminate yourself during this time of the year, and be careful where you’re going.

Fitzie’s track of the day: La Perla, by Rosalia

And now for your links:

BBC: “Cardiff to host opening match of Euro 2028”

Guardian: “Red, white and shoe: England and Tuchel have world at their feet with fresh focus”