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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, February 4

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Good morning everyone.

It’s been quite a few months since I last gave an update on Fitzie’s Film and TV Reviews, the regular hoddle feature where fitzie reviews all the things he’s seen on the television and in cinemas.

That’s because there haven’t been many (or any) new shows that I’ve been watching. At the very least, the ones I’ve watched are so forgettable that I don’t even think to mention them here.

The one movie that’s really exciting me - and now available to stream on HBO Max - is If I Had Legs I’d Kick You. I don’t know much about the movie except for that Rose Byrne’s character has some bad relationship with her therapist, played by Conan O’Brien.

Otherwise, I’m just treading water until the latest series of Survivor begins later this month. I’m satisfying some of the reality-tv itch with the latest series of The Traitors US, but I find this group of players so unlikable and in such contrast to the celebrity version of the UK’s celebrity tradition of The Traitors.

There must be something I’m missing here, right? There’s got to be some good television series or films out there that are worth watching. So I’m letting this hoddle be a small request in that I want you to share some of the things you’re watching.

Fitzie’s track of the day: I Put A Spell On You, by Nina Simone

And now for your links:

Matt Law: “Cristian Romero was Tottenham’s ‘pussycat’, now he is the bomb-proof rebel”

Jay Harris ($$): “Can Cristian Romero keep criticising the Spurs hierarchy and remain club captain?”

The Standard: “Tottenham confirm new hire as medical department revamp continues amid injury crisis”

The Daily Record: “Hearts stumble at St Mirren as ten men feel the Premiership title pressure – five talking points”

The Guardian: “Are the Whitecaps about to die? Vancouver sound alarm bells amid difficult sale process”

The January window is hard. Spurs still failed it.

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The January window is hard. Spurs still failed it. - Cartilage Free Captain
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The January transfer window is historically a terrible time to do any actual business. The teams that tend to be active in the mid-season transfer window are either good enough that they are looking for the final piece for a title push, or bad enough that they’re desperate to spend money on players who could help keep them from relegation. Either way, while significant transfers CAN and HAVE happened in the past, they tend to be the exception rather than the norm.

Unfortunately, Tottenham Hotspur are closer to the second category than the first, and that’s not a very healthy or stress-free position to be in. Depending on how you crunch the numbers, Tottenham have a non-zero percent chance of being relegated this season under Thomas Frank — low enough to make it almost statistically irrelevant and not worth worrying about, but high enough to make it annoyingly tangible. The string of poor results under Frank, if you’re of a mind to be charitable, are due to a confluence of factors that include, yes, Frank’s poor job performance, but also too much football, a poorly-constructed squad, and another historic string of long-term injuries.

All along, when asked Thomas Frank has said that the club intended to be “active” in this January window, with clear holes in the squad and plenty of money to address them. But the line was also that any moves in January were going to be made with a long-term focus in mind: no panic buys, just players who can help Spurs in the short term AND the long term. To that end their non-youth incomings ended up being just two players: former Chelsea midfielder Conor Gallagher from Atletico Madrid, and 19-year-old Brazilian fullback Souza. One slotted straight into the first team, the other was one for the future, but might be thrust into the spotlight due to recent injures to Pedro Porro and Djed Spence. Gallagher was essentially a replacement for Brennan Johnson, whom Spurs offloaded to Crystal Palace for the same price (£35m). Meanwhile the club was linked to players such as Al-Ittihad’s Moussa Diaby and Al-Nassr/Fenerbahce’s Jhon Duran, as well as Monaco midfielder Maghnes Akliouche, none of which seemingly went anywhere.

All of this is background to the fact that, league wide, this was one of the quietest January transfer windows in recent memory. Not only did Tottenham Hotspur not make significant moves — very few clubs did. Aston Villa were more active than most, bringing in Tammy Abraham and re-loaning Douglas Luiz. Palace’s business was more about the outgoings than the incomings. Manchester City had probably the most significant window, bringing in Antoine Semenyo and Marc Guehi as they retool to try and catch Arsenal (notably quiet). Everyone else either stayed pat or nibbled around the edges of the squad with fringe loans or youth prospects. It seems that most clubs just simply did not want to make any significant moves one way or the other.

So again — the January window is hard, and this window proved to be more intractable than most. But that shouldn’t stop Spurs from being upset about how it played out. And there should be consequences for Spurs’ inaction at a time when they desperately needed an influx of good vibes and fresh talent.

For all of the big talk Tottenham CEO Vinai Venkatesham and Co-Football Directors Johan Lange and Fabio Paratici made earlier this season about backing Thomas Frank and committing to creating a team that can compete for trophies on multiple fronts, the past two windows have proven to be something of a disaster. Summer acquisitions such as Mohamed Kudus, Joao Palhinha, and Randal Kolo Muani (loan) have either disappointed or been square pegs in round holes, while the £35m summer purchase of Mathys Tel appears at least for now to be an overpay relative to his current ability. While the late signing of Xavi Simons has proven to be an astute acquisition and Gallagher’s addition is at minimum useful, with the departure of Son Heung-Min this summer for LAFC and Johnson for Palace this month, Spurs are without their top scorers from the past two seasons and no longer have a viable identity. Who are they? What do they do? Who can they rely on now to put the ball in the ol’ onion basket? There’s no ready answer to that question, and it’s incredibly concerning.

That responsibility falls on the shoulders of co-sporting directors Lange and Paratici, and thus far neither have proven to be up to the task. Paratici gets something of a pass here, as he’s confirmed to be leaving the club for a Director of Football position at Fiorentina. But for all of Lange’s reputation as an astute identifier of talent, it’s mostly fallen flat as he seems to be targeting young players, or players with Skillcorner-esque physical attributes at the expense of technical ability and things like “passing” and “scoring.”

This is a club has been screaming for creative passing from central midfield, and the response has been crickets. While the club has nominally addressed the left back issue with the signing of Souza and tried to do more by targeting Liverpool’s Andy Robertson, Liverpool pulled the plug and Spurs seemingly had no backup plan. The attack is stymied by U-Ball and under-performance, but even with injuries there doesn’t seem to be the talent required to score goals and by extension compete at the highest levels of the league.

Thomas Frank has underachieved with the players at his disposal, but I am also convinced that the blame for Spurs’ malaise cannot be entirely laid at his feet. Lange, Paratici, and Venkatesham are equally culpable for Spurs being at the place they are at present. The palace coup that led to the departure of former chairman Daniel Levy from the club led to a vacuum that resulted in the most awkward reshuffling of executive deck chairs I’ve seen in football for a while. The reappointment of Fabio Paratici as “co-sporting director,” and then his subsequent resignation two months later to take a job at another club is embarrassing, and something that no number of awkward videos of them sharing a couch could shake. The lack of overall direction or clear plan for talent identification from both Lange and Paratici is equally frustrating. This is a Spurs squad that is unbalanced, poorly constructed, and underachieving, and that has as much to do with the people in charge of building it as it does with the manager on the sidelines.

Venkatesham, in his rare addresses to the supporters, and the new ENIC owners have talked a big game but have mostly swung and missed out over multiple windows. That’s more than just frustration, that’s incompetence. It’s led me to the conclusion that the club will not see significant improvement until changes are made at the sporting director level.

In an ideal situation, with Paratici now gone, the club would be wise to sack Lange, a sporting director who is both seemingly out of his depth and also notoriously reclusive to public scrutiny, and appoint a Director of Football with experience and vast football knowledge that can leverage the positive financial position Spurs are currently in to make big, targeted moves that address specific needs, while also being ruthless with players who are not living up to expectations. The squad clearly needs a significant refresh, and while that’s a daunting challenge, is it any harder than, say, winning a Europa League trophy? The club’s motto is To Dare is to Do but Spurs have done precious little Dare-ing, much less Do-ing.

Football clubs are slow-moving beasts at the best of times, and turning a supertanker like Tottenham around will take some effort, but if Spurs are to restructure in time to hit the ground running this summer, changes are needed now. That includes not only the manager, but also the overall recruitment structure. The club owes Tottenham fans this, if nothing else — admit that things aren’t working, explain in clear terms what needs to be done, and then make those changes quickly and with determination. Anything less only furthers the pattern of failure that has led us to this point.

DONE DEAL: Spurs academy announces signing of James Wilson from Hearts

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Better late than never! After the 7 pm close of the transfer window yesterday evening, Tottenham Hotspur announced one final signing — James Wilson, an 18-year-old Scottish striker, who joins Spurs on loan from SPL side Heart of Midlothian. The loan is until the end of the season and includes a purchase option. No fee details were provided.

It’s notable that the announcement came from @Spurs_Academy and not @SpursOfficial, because as talented as James Wilson is (and he is), this is not a first team signing. Wilson is expected to slot straight into the U21s with a goal of moving into first team training and possibly a future first team role if Spurs decide to pick up his purchase option.

I’ve never seen this kid play, but from everything I’m reading this is a pretty astute signing of a talented young player. Breaking into a SPL side at age 16 and making 45 appearances for the club by age 18 speaks well of his current ability and his potential. He also has scored eight goals in that period, which is not too shabby. The leap from the SPL (non-Celtic/Rangers Edition) to the Premier League is massive, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone to see him slot into the U21; Premier League 2 games and training with the first team will be a nice transition. But don’t expect to see him come in as a late game substitute in league games anytime soon.

Look, we’re all ticked off at the status of this window, but let’s not put the cart in front of the horse — whatever else you think about Spurs’ business this month under Johan Lange and Fabio Paratici, James Wilson is another example of the kind of players Spurs should always be targeting — young, talented, and with bags of potential. We’ll see in time how that potential plays out. Welcome to Tottenham, James. Now can we do something about the broccoli-head haircut? Feels like Archie Gray has that market cornered.

The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Tuesday, February 3

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Good morning everyone and welcome to your EFL Championship monthly roundup, where hoddle headquarters takes a look at the goings-on in the second tier of the English football pyramid.

I know we’re a couple days late to this one, but it’s still worth seeing what the EFL Championship table right now. This hoddle actually has a pretty short shelf life, because there are a slate of matches scheduled for today that have permutations for both the playoff and relegation pictures.

There are two small stories I want to point your attention to from last month:

Coventry City’s collapse at the top

Wrexham’s surge into the top six

Let’s first get to Coventry City. Frank Lampard’s side were flying high not long ago, but had some really bad results in January. this includes losses to Norwich and QPR, plus a draw against Charlton. This begs the question if Lamps has been figured out. I still think it’s too soon to dismiss them in the automatic promotion slots - I’m still not sold on Hull City, although I am keeping an eye on Ipswich Town.

Now, there is a very interesting game you all should have marked on your calendars: That is the 16 February game against Middlesbrough at home. The result will probably dictate who finishes the season on top.

Now, let’s get to the other storyline, which is Wrexham. I can’t believe the job Phil Parkinson has done this season. I pegged Wrexham to comfortably stay up, but did not expect a promotion push this soon. One bad loss to Norwich aside, and they’re one of the hottest teams in the league right now.

Ryan and Rob brought in five players at the end of the transfer window to help Wrexham’s playoff push. but it’s the summer acquisition of Kieffer Moore who probably remains as their most astute signing so far. He’s got 12 goals in the competition so far this season. Sam Smith also had a pretty darn good January.

This is going to be a very difficult month for the Welsh club. Not only do they have the FA Cup to contend with, but they’ve also got games against playoff rivals Millwall, Bristol City and Ipswich Town, while matches against relegation contenders Portsmouth and Charlton. Every game will be must-see TV.

EFL Championship top six:

Coventry (58 Pts, +28 GD)

Boro (58 Pts, +18 GD)

Hull (53 Pts, +8 GD)

Ipswich (51 Pts, +21 GD)

Millwall (50 Pts, +1 GD)

Wrexham (47 Pts, +7 GD)

Bottom three:

Blackburn (29 Pts, -12 GD)

Oxford United (27 Pts, -11 GD)

Sheffield Wednesday (-7 Pts, -39 GD)

Fitzie’s track of the day: The Wire, by HAIM

And now for your links:

Alasdair Gold: “Bizarre Fabio Paratici situation, Romero anger, £100m injection and Tottenham’s transfer window”

The Athletic ($$): “How Spurs turned their game against Manchester City on its head”

BBC: “Two club-record signings - but are Palace papering over the cracks?”

DONE AND DUSTED: summarizing Tottenham Hotspur’s January transfer window activity

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OK, I do this after every window as it’s a nice way of getting a bird’s eye overview of how things have gone in the transfer window that has now completed. Not going to sugarcoat it much — for the men’s team, it’s pretty grim. It’s SUBSTANTIALLY less grim on the women’s side of the equation, but we’ll get to that.

Anyway, the January 2026 transfer window has now SLAMMED SHUT and we can now bring you every move Spurs have made. There’s one outstanding deal that will probably get confirmed soon — 18-year-old Scottish striker James Wilson is expected to complete an initial loan from Heart of Midlothian to Tottenham’s U21 squad, and I understand there is likely a purchase obligation that kicks in in June. But we’ll post that when it’s official.

Law: no significant incomings expected today

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In news that will surprise precisely no one, according to Matt Law in the Telegraph transfer tracker, Spurs will not be adding any significant new signings to the first team with what’s left of the window. As of the time of this article’s posting, there is less than an hour before the window slams shut.

Here’s the relevant short post from Law:

Never say never, but the chances of Tottenham pulling a deadline day rabbit out of the bag are currently rated as unlikely. Spurs have dismissed any suggestion of making a dramatic late move for either Jhon Duran or Moussa Diaby, which means Randal Kolo Muani and Mathys Tel may have to stay put.

Oho, but what about 18-year-old Hearts striker James Wilson? That seems to be going through, take THAT Latt Maw!

But seriously, it doesn’t look like any of the proposed moves — Moussa Diaby, Jhon Duran, Maghnes Akliouche, is going to come to pass. We might nibble around the edges — see James Wilson or any number of youth loans — but this sure does look like it’s shaping up to be the quietest transfer deadline day in recent memory.

Feel free to growl about this in the comments, I won’t stop you.

REPORT: Randal Kolo Muani to stay at Spurs until summer

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It’s no secret that Randal Kolo Muani’s agents have been working overtime to get him out of Spurs and potentially to Juventus on loan. Italian sources have been practically slobbering over that possibility for the past couple of weeks, but it always felt like Juventus trying feverishly to make “fetch” happen — because for RKM to move to Juventus would require the agreement of both Tottenham Hotspur, where he’s currently on loan, and PSG, who are still pissed off at Juventus for failing to sign Kolo Muani this past summer.

So imagine our surprise — here’s a report from Fabrice Hawkins in France saying that ol’ Randy Kilo Miami is sticking around until at least the conclusion of his Spurs loan. Suck it, Juventus.

This might disappoint some of you who think Randy sucks and that Spurs can and should do better. And it might be a suggestion that Spurs aren’t close to bringing in another wide attacker to supplement Kolo Muani today. But we don’t know that yet. Kolo Muani certainly hasn’t been the impact player we thought we were getting when Spurs signed him on loan on transfer deadline day this past July. But he is a warm body, and getting rid of a warm body in the middle of an injury crisis doesn’t make much sense unless we replace him with another player. No signs of that happening yet.

REPORT: Spurs in talks to sign teenage striker James Wilson from Hearts

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It’s not the attacking reinforcement we expected, but it is (potentially) a signing? Reports from Sky suggest that Tottenham are set to GAZUMP Arsenal for the signing of 18-year-old Scottish striker James Wilson from SPL side Heart of Midlothian.

Oh, James Wilson? That guy? I’ve TOTALLY heard of him (I have not heard of him and neither have you). He’s 18, has only just broken into the Hearts first team, but he’s apparently talented and could be a very good pickup in a couple of years. The Sky Guy in that tweet makes it clear that Wilson would be signed for the U21s, which suggests he might need a couple of years out on loan before he becomes an option for Tottenham’s first team.

Arsenal are said to have been working on a loan deal for Wilson, and that seems to also be what Spurs are trying to do — a loan this spring with an obligation to buy in June when the transfer window opens up. Gotta love a good Spurs GAZUMPing, even if it’s not a done deal quite yet. It’s also clear from that video that the Sky Sports commentary team have no idea who this kid is. LOL and also LMAO.

This would be a deal that is more likely to cause exasperated yelling in the comments than anything that actually moves the needle, but hey, Spurs should always be on the lookout for talented youth, so this would be fine by me?

REPORT: Tottenham will not move for Akliouche today

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More Inaction Is Actually news — According to Tom Barclay, Tottenham Hotspur will not be making a move for Monaco’s Maghnes Akliouche with what’s left in the January transfer window.

Barclay writes for the S-n (I know, I know) but he’s one of the more reliable Tottenham reporters so I’m inclined to believe this is a thing. I don’t LIKE that it’s a thing, but it’s probably accurate.

To be fair, Akliouche is a Xavi Simons analogue and Spurs were reportedly very interested in him in the summer. Frankly I think that having Akliouche would be a good thing, but it’s also easy to forget that Spurs also have Dejan Kulusevski and James Maddison who will, one surmises, eventually both get healthy and start contributing to Tottenham again at some point. When that point is, who knows.

Anyway, Akliouche’s stats have taken a hit this season from last year, but Monaco are also something of a hot mess so maybe that’s not surprising. Monaco just agreed to sign Simon Adingra from Sunderland, but that doesn’t seem to be an indicator that they’re willing to let Akliouche go.

Spurs looking for loans for Abbott, Dorrington

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More youth loans, you say? More youth loans, I affirm. According to Alasdair Gold, Tottenham Hotspur is looking for a new temporary home for a couple of its academy graduates — George Abbott and Alfie Dorrington. Both Abbott and Dorrington were on loan in the fall at Wycombe Wanderers and Aberdeen respectively, and both were recalled earlier this month. Abbott in particular had struggled with injuries when he first started at Wycombe and then wasn’t able to settle in the squad, while Dorrington only made 10 appearances for Aberdeen — six in the league and four in the Conference League.

Gold writes that Abbott could head to League One side Mansfield Town, where Oliver Irow is currently on loan, and Dorrington is close to an agreement to head to League Two side Salford City. Gotta say I’m not wild about Dorrington landing in League Two after a couple of stints at Aberdeen, but it’s probably better than U21 football at this stage in his career. But it’s not very promising for a 20-year-old. Abbott, by contrast, probably just needs minutes, and League One/Champo is probably his ceiling.

Gold mentions a few other youth players that may or may not head out on loan, but with the injury crisis being what it is, some of them have been bench regulars lately. So we’ll see.