Cartilage Free Captain

Do we want to rehash this? I say no. But I have a job to do and dammit I’m going to do it. Tottenham Hotspur haven’t won a league match at the Emirates since 2010, and boy howdy it almost feels like it’ll be another 15 years before it happened after that match on Sunday. A 4-1 defeat where Spurs did not look even remotely competitive, or even like they knew which way they were supposed to be dribbling the ball.

How do you come up with a theme for a match like this? Remarkably, this one popped into my head while I was compiling the ratings. I read a LOT, but I am definitely a discerning reader; I won’t just open whatever book gets put in front of me. And there are certain books that I have decided will never cross my hands, or my Kindle, ever. That’s not to say that these books are BAD. (Some of them are, others…. well, maybe not?) Just that they hold absolutely no interest for me, personally.

Here are are your Tottenham Hotspur “ratings” for the NLD loss to the theme of books I have no intention of ever reading. Feel free to put your own list in the comments instead of wasting perfectly good energy thinking about that match.

Look, it’s fine. It’s a classic. I even like post-apocalyptic fiction! I have been told it’s relentlessly bleak and that’s something I feel fine cutting out of my life right now.

LOL….LMAO

If you like this, good for you! Please don’t recommend it to me.

No Tottenham players in this category.

Impenetrable, and who has time to beat their heads against the wall for however many months it would take to read it?

Micky van de Ven (Community — 2.5): Probably Spurs’ best player on a very bad night.

Richarlison (Community — 3.0): That goal ruled.

Xavi Simons (Community — 2.5): God love him he tried, but not even his baby Cucurella locks could help him.

Yeah, bad sci-fi from the guy who invented Scientology? Hard pass.

Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 3.0): A couple of good saves, but his distribution was god-awful.

Kevin Danso (Community — 2.0): Looked lost in the back three.

Destiny Udogie (Community — 2.0): One of Spurs’ better performers in the first half (low bar!) but he was directly at fault for the third goal and seemed to give up midway through the second half.

Pape Sarr (Community — 2.0): Spurs looked a little brighter when he came on, but it was too little way too late.

No thanks.

Cuti Romero (Community — 2.0): Battled hard but picked up a stupid yellow so he’s suspended for Fulham.

Djed Spence (Community — 2.0): The Spence Penitentiary has walls made of wax paper.

Joao Palhinha (Community — 2.5): Amazing how much space he left behind when he’s supposedly covering for the back line.

Wilson Odobert (Community — 2.0): Looked completely out of it.

Mohammed Kudus (Community — 2.0): Drove into so many cul-de-sacs I thought he was lost in Houston.

Randal Kolo Muani (Community — 2.0): Not really his fault since he got no service, but also didn’t contribute anything. Mask looks dope, though.

I am almost fascinated by how incredibly bad this book looks just from reading the dust-jacket summary. But not enough to even attempt to dive into it.

Rodrigo Bentancur (Community — 1.5): One of the worst matches I’ve seen from him and I’ve seen a lot of poor matches from him.

Thomas Frank (Community — 1.5): If you can’t say anything nice…

Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating

It looks like the title isn’t coming to Washington DC this year.

The Washington Spirit were defeated by Gotham FC in the final of the National Women’s Soccer League (NWSL) this year after Rose Lavelle scored in the 80th minute at PayPal Park in San Jose, California.

This entire time I had imagined that the Washington Spirit were the great storybook team in the playoffs, who finished second in the league this year (trailing the KC Current by a whole 21 points).

But it was Gotham FC that were the exciting story - they entered the playoffs as the eighth seed, taking down the Current in the quarterfinals of the playoffs after extra time.

The title is Gotham FC’s second title in three years.

Manager Juan Carlos Amorós said it was a “dream come true”, according to ESPN.

——

In very unrelated news: Tottenham Hotspur Women advanced to the knockout stage of the Women’s League Cup after defeating Bristol City on Sunday (and that’s the only game that mattered that day, right?).

Martha Thomas scored for Tottenham in the 46th minute to secure their spot in the next round. Interestingly enough: Cup games in the group stage don’t end in ties but in penalties. I just learned that today.

The quarterfinals of the knockout stage begin next month, with the draw due to take place today.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Fast As You Can, by Fiona Apple

And now for your links:

Alasdair Gold: “Why Arsenal’s sneaky substitutes enraged Tottenham’s set piece coach in derby defeat”

The Standard: “Thomas Frank playing a risky game as pressure builds at Tottenham”

The Athletic ($$): “This Spurs throw-in against Arsenal says everything about where they are going wrong”

You might have noticed, but Tottenham Hotspur got thumped by Arsenal in the season’s first North London Derby on Sunday, losing 4-1 in a performance that could generously be referred to as “listless” and ingenerously as “shambolic.” And like clockwork, one day after Spurs lose another London Derby, the knives start to come out in the British football media.

Our good buddy and noted Tottenham Hotspur super-fan (lol) Matt Law has a new EXCLUSIVE in the Telegraph that says that Thomas Frank’s job is not presently in danger, but the Powers that Be are starting to sit up and take notice after a series of underwhelming performances in recent weeks.

Sources around Spurs have told Telegraph Sport they believe Frank’s numerous changes have contributed to inconsistency and the team’s lack of attacking potency.

Some players are thought to be keen for Frank to focus more on the strengths of his own team, rather than the opposition, although it is unclear how strong and widespread that feeling is.

— Matt Law, The Telegraph

This kind of background, unsourced information almost makes me laugh, because it feels so predictable. As Law would put it, people are upset that… Frank is rotating his players? While the team has a double-digit injury list? And also that, what, he tailors his tactics to the opposition? I’m actually chuckling at this, as I thought after two years of Ange Postecoglou playing “his way” that this was what we wanted. Maybe it isn’t! Who knows!

I mean, look — the football has been awful, and there’s no point in sugar-coating that. Everybody’s upset after another bad loss to a London rival in a massive derby this season, and while knees are likely to jerk in the short term, it feels like things would have to get orders of magnitude worse before the people now in charge of the club would feel forced into making a change. Law’s “sources” in this Telegraph article appear to be simply mad that the club isn’t winning, because the the stated reasons for wanting Frank out above don’t make a ton of sense. Coming out to say “Spurs were bad against Arsenal & Chelsea” isn’t necessarily a wrong reason for wanting to fire your manager (Ohio State football fans have this exact dynamic about head coach Ryan Day and the University of Michigan, Google it), but at least it’s an honest one.

Law even states that it’s unlikely that Frank’s leaving anytime soon. The Lewis Kids are said to be taking the long-term view on this, meaning that we shouldn’t expect a picture of a cockerel detail on the stadium exterior on social media and a COMMUNICADO OFICIAL anytime soon.

The Lewis family, the club’s owners, have been clear in their messaging that they are targeting long-term sporting success under Frank and that is understood to remain the case, which suggests no short-term decisions are on the horizon.

Sunday’s limp defeat at the Emirates was described as a “painful day” by insiders, but more than one source insisted the club are not panicking and remain focused on the long term.

— Matt Law, The Telegraph

The truth is that we have absolutely no idea what the Lewis Kids will do. With Daniel Levy, we had years of experience watching him hire and fire managers so we could pretty much guess at what point he’d pull the plug on any one guy. Now? We have no idea. That’s part of what makes this scenario so intriguing.

Frank certainly has a big job ahead of him and up to this point he hasn’t succeeded. Remember, Spurs fired their last head coach despite winning their first trophy in 17 years because he focused on that tournament at the expense of the league and finished 17th. The implication was that Tottenham is a club that should be better than what it’s showing. Now, we can argue that point — the problem with Spurs is likely a combination of a bunch of factors including squad construction, overall talent, injury luck, and tactics — but Frank was hired to get a tune out of this group of players, and at present that tune is extremely discordant.

So no, Thomas Frank’s job is not in jeopardy, but this is the kind of article that emerges when things start going off the rails. There’s still time to turn things around, but knives are being sharpened as I type. And as we know, things in football can change shockingly fast.

Hoddles after a North London Derby defeat are never a good time, so I’ll just take this moment to do a short Charles Mingus hoddle.

I really like Blues & Roots. It’s a pretty strange album on its own in that it heavily explores Mingus’s blues background - even more so when you consider that this album followed Ah Um.

Sometimes I like to go to these less grand Mingus studio records iconic outputs are a bit too intense to listen to (like Ah Um, Black Saint and Sinner Lady). This I quite like a lot, as well as Mingus Plays Piano.

(Although nothing will ever quite come close to Mingus Mingus Mingus Mingus Mingus).

Anyways, that’s it for your short Mingus hoddle today.

Mondays after a North London Derby defeat are no fun. Hoddles after a North London Derby defeat are never fun. But Mingus is always quite fun, and perhaps there’s some solace in that.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Tensions, by Charles Mingus

And now for your links:

Alasdair Gold: “Every word Thomas Frank said in Tottenham apology, if his tactics were wrong and Arsenal”

The Athletic ($$): “Tottenham’s Guglielmo Vicario, Thomas Frank apologise for lack of ‘fight’ in Arsenal loss”

The Standard: “Three things we learned from Tottenham defeat by Arsenal as Thomas Frank’s tactical tweak backfires”

The Guardian: “Brilliant Eze hits hat-trick as Arsenal thump Spurs to extend lead in title race”

Exactly two things happened in this match: Richarlison scored an audacious goal from the halfway line and Cuti Romero picked up his fifth yellow of the season after the Arsenal player he “fouled” faked an injury. Everything else is a blur, I have no memory of any of it, and I will not be going back to do a rewatch. You can’t make me.

It’s time to rate the players. I helpfully pre-rated Thomas Frank at one star for you, you’re welcome. (Update: it didn’t stick, but the joke was very funny)

Rate the players from 1⁄2 to 5 stars. If the player doesn’t deserve a rating due to minutes played, DO NOT RANK. I will round the stars up/down to the nearest half-star for the player ratings later this week.

If you’re on mobile or found this via AMP and the survey isn’t appearing below, here’s a direct link.

Following a third international break of the season, Tottenham Hotspur’s return to action could not have been tougher, with an away North London Derby to get things back underway. With Spurs struggling for fluency and Arsenal flying high, Thomas Frank opted for “solidity”, switching his side to a back three formation with a defensive double pivot of Rodrigo Bentancur and Joao Palhinha, as Richarlison took up the lone forward role.

The first half seemed like it would be a non-event. Spurs struggled to get out of their half, and Arsenal were creating little, outside of an early scare where Declan Rice found himself in behind the Spurs defense, forcing Guglielmo Vicario into a good save. All in all, it was a tough watch, with the half meandering along until Arsenal suddenly exploded into life with two quick-fire goals.

Leandro Trossard opened the scoring: Mikel Merino showed smart movement to drop into midfield, dragging the defense forward, before chipping a ball in behind for Trossard’s run. The Belgian took a poor first touch, giving Micky van de Ven a chance to recover, but Trossard’s shot deflected off the Dutchman’s sliding challenge to dribble into the goal. Eberechi Eze soon followed suit with Arsenal’s second. He received the ball near the top of the 18-yard box and wriggled his way past both Bentancur and Palhinha before unleashing a strike that rocketed past Vicario. Instead of going into the half with the ledger even, Spurs were shellshocked, finding themselves two goals down.

The urgency was such that Thomas Frank made a rare half-time substitution, abandoning his back three plan and bringing on Xavi Simons for Kevin Danso. Simons barely had time to touch the ball, though, before Arsenal added a third. It was that man Eze again, finding himself in acres of space just outside the penalty area with Spurs’ midfield nowhere in sight. He settled himself then nestled his shot into the bottom left.

It had been an absolute toothless performance from Spurs, but Richarlison unleashed a moment of quality to potentially give fans some momentary hope. Palhinha robbed Martin Zubimendi of possession, with the ball falling to the Brazilian forward. He struck a shot first time with David Raya off his line, looping it over the Arsenal keeper from 35 yards out in a phenomenal effort.

It wasn’t long until Spurs’ deficit was back at three, however, with Eze completing his hat trick. It was similar to his second, with Eze this time fed from the left instead of the right. He had plenty of time to pick his spot, and Arsenal had four. Spurs labored to try and find more attacking opportunities, but their ineffectual play continued while Arsenal continued to slice Spurs open. The fulltime whistle was eventually blown, with the 4-1 scoreline probably overly kind to Spurs.

Reactions

That was awful. I think the technical term is “blerghhhhh”.

Seriously though, that was one of the worst NLD performances in recent memory. Spurs were basically unable to get past the halfway line, and Richarlison’s 55th minute goal was the Lilywhites’ first attempt on goal (out of three total shots).

Thomas Frank’s refrain has been that a defensive base is needed before building out his overall tactical plan. What defense was there today?

With that in mind, you have to question the continued selection of both Palhinha and Bentancur. I think they received the ball from the center backs on TWO occasions in the entire first half. That is shocking. And it’s not like they offered that much more in that supposed defensive stability either, with both being easily beaten for Arsenal’s second, and nowhere to be seen for Arsenal’s third and fourth goals, with Eze taking up positions that should have been covered by a defensive double pivot.

That all points to a coaching problem. Nobody seemed to know where they were supposed to be, what their jobs were, and where their teammates were. This is a third of the way into the season, and it’s not good enough. What is Frank doing? If this is what we were going to get, I would rather have just kept Ange Postecoglou. At least we sometimes got exciting football.

Thomas Frank needs to get this sorted, and fast. Somebody in the masthead chat said it’s like watching Jose Mourinho at his worst but without Harry Kane and Son Heung-min, and it’s hard to argue against that. The squad isn’t great, but this is just woeful football, plain and simple.

At least it wasn’t five or six, which it very well could have been.

Oh, and to add to the list of positives, Cristian Romero is now suspended for Spurs’ next match against Fulham. Fantastic.

COYS.

To dare is to do.

Can a season be defined by a single match? Some would say yes. Thomas Frank has had a mixed start to his reign at Tottenham Hotspur: injuries galore but set piece success; defensive stability but at the cost of attacking fluency. There have been moments, and on paper Spurs are positioned well, within touching distance of the top four with just under a third of the season down, but things just haven’t ever quite felt like clicking.

This mercurial Spurs side come up against an Arsenal side that seems like something of a juggernaut. Their sole loss against Liverpool now far behind them, Arsenal have largely ground down their opponents into a fine dust while boasting a defense for which miserly seems an inadequate descriptor. I know it seems like I am waxing lyrical about Spurs’ North London rivals; unfortunately, they’ve been really good. There’s no way around it.

Like Spurs though, they have not been without their critics. At times, they have struggled to create chances from open play (sound familiar?), and with key defender Gabriel missing through injury this seems as good a time as any to take on the Gunners. A win from the Lilywhite side of North London would surely spur fears in the red camp of another historic campaign choke like in seasons past, while an Arsenal victory would feel like another inevitable step towards an elusive title.

For Spurs, though, a win would stir up a level of belief not seen since the season kicked off; while a loss would only serve to add fuel to the fire from those declaring Thomas Frank is not the kind of manager this club needs. Spurs have been fantastic away from home. Can they nick a win here in their biggest match of the season thus far?

To dare is to do.

COYS!

Lineups

Lineups will be posted closer to kick-off.

Live Blog

How to Watch

Arsenal vs. Tottenham Hotspur

Emirates Stadium, London, UK

Sunday, November 23, 2025

Time: 11:30 a.m. ET, 4:30 p.m. UK

TV: Not televised in USA, Sky Sports Premier League (UK). Check international listings at livesoccertv.com

Streaming: Peacock

Match thread rules

The match thread rules are the same as always. To any visitors coming here for the first time, welcome! We’re glad you’re here! Wipe your feet, mind the gap, and be sure to check out the other pages at this outstanding site. While you’re here, though, we have a few rules and regulations:

Absolutely no links to illegal streams. They’re bad and they get us in trouble. Violators will be warned or banned.

We have rules against “relentless negativity.” Nobody likes a Negative Nancy. Don’t knee-jerk and post outlandish or hurtful things just because you’re frustrated.

Along those lines, outright abuse of players or match officials is also not allowed. It’s fine to say “wow, that was a really bad call,” but it’s NOT okay to direct copious amounts of abuse in the direction of said official over a call you did not like.

Treat other people in the match thread the way you would want someone else to treat your grandmother. Be nice. This is a community of fans, not an un-moderated message board.

NO SPIDERS!

Finally, while we don’t have a rule against profanity, please try and keep the naughty words in check. Also, language that is sexist, racist, transphobic, or homophobic in nature will be swiftly deleted and you will be immediately banned. This is an open, supportive community.

Have fun, and COYS!

Tottenham Hotspur Women have been talking a big game lately — promising a busy January window, continued recruitement, hires and investment, and announcing a three year plan to reach the Champions League. While us fans were nervously awaiting January to see if the club would finally put their money where their mouths were, Spurs were already busy tying up the club-record signing of Norwegian wonderkid Signe Gaupset. Gaupset will reportedly join on a long-term contract starting January 1, 2026 for a fee of £378,000.

Gaupset is an attacking midfielder with plenty of skill on the ball (would you like a 7 minute compilation? Of course you would). She’s been tearing up the Norwegian league and impressing in Champions League cameos for a while now, most recently putting up 15 goals and 14 assists in the 2024/25 season. She burst onto the international scene during the 2025 Euros with the first two goals in Norway’s 4-3 comeback win against Iceland. Gaupset has naturally attracted a lot of interest, but she’s chosen come to Spurs thanks to her previous working relationship with head coach Martin Ho at Brann.

“When I have spoken to people at the Club, the project and everything around it, it just seems really good. This is a good place for me to be a better footballer, to develop more and be as good as possible,” Gaupset said upon her signing. “I know Martin as a coach and I know what to expect. We worked really well together. He demands a lot, but I like that, I think he can get even more out of me.”

Personally, I really hope so! Spurs have looked a rejuvenated side under Martin Ho this year but have lacked quality in front of the goal. Signe Gaupset’s brand of attacking energy will provide much-needed depth and variety.

“Signe offers genuine invention in possession, explosiveness in duels and a top-level ability to shift momentum in 1v1 moments,” said Martin Ho. “She has the intelligence to connect the game, the athleticism to drive forward with purpose, and the mentality to influence the standards around her. These are qualities that align fully with the identity we’re building and the demands of our style.”

I already can’t wait to see Olivia Holdt and Signe Gaupset play together. Throw in a cheeky bid for Trinity Rodman (shhhh, let me be delusional) and hey, that’s a team I’d wake up at 4:55 AM to watch cook. With the WSL constantly improving on all levels, it’s crucial to keep moving. Signing Signe is a perfect start to what will hopefully continue to be a busy winter🤞.

“[The injured players] are good, most of them. Pape trained today. He’s ready, available. Lucas trained today. Ready, available. Kolo Muani, yes. Trained today. Available, of course has a mask [he] needs to play with.

“And Dom [Solanke] is not ready yet. I think he also had an article recently where he spoke about it. So we are very, as I said, the same. Very aware that when we put him out there, we want to be absolutely sure, as sure as we can be, that no setback going forward. So I’m comfortable he will soon be ready, but I will not put a timeframe on it.”

“Radu, very happy. He has probably been in that for a couple of weeks now. Full training, full in, everything. With the team, played his first 45 minutes in nine months, something like that, last Wednesday, I think it was. Very happy with that. Trained fully today.

“Now he’s definitely getting very close to being able to be selected. Now it’s just a matter of performance and probably just a few more game minutes to be fully available. Kota and Ben both trained with the team today, so that’s also positive.

“[Archie Gray] trained with the team as well. Now I need to make difficult decisions!”

“Yeah this is the real one. Super excited. Of course before I stepped into the club I knew about the North London derby. But it’s when you’re in it, you sense it and feel that this is important. You feel it from the fans, you feel it from the staff members, the players, the people that have been working here for years. This is the big one.

“I always say the next game is the most important game. I always have that. But I’m very, very, very aware there’s two games in a year that’s even more important and this is the first of them. We’re ready, we’re up for it, we’re looking forward to it and we’ll do everything we can to win.

“The interesting thing is that probably both Mikel [Arteta] and I would like a little bit more of a controlled game, but it will probably end up absolutely madhouse. Very, very enjoyable to watch for the outside people or fans. I expect a difficult game of course, but a game that can go anywhere.

“Everything can happen in that game. In games like that everything also evens out a little bit more because it’s so competitive. The atmosphere in the stadium, it doesn’t matter if we play away or home, is intense. We’re just really looking forward to it. I know we’ll be ready and we’re looking forward to it.”

“It’s a big challenge. I think we hold the record for the fewest goals conceded from set-pieces. That’s not a bad stat either, but there’s no doubt that one of the battles we need to win in this game is a set-piece battle. Can we win that battle? Then we’re halfway there. They’re strong, we’re strong. That will be a battle in itself.

“Then there’s a lot of other battles. The high pressure, the defending, the building up and all that, but the set-pieces will be a battle.”

“It’s been very difficult. At first, I didn’t think I would be out for too long but we didn’t really understand the extent of the injury. I was trying to get back as quickly as I could but it didn’t happen, so I had to have surgery. Since then, I have been working to get back.

“I’m not putting a timeline on it because I’ve been telling everyone ‘I’m going to be back soon’ for the last few months. I’m taking it day by day but hopefully I won’t be much longer.”

“I haven’t had the chance to work with (Frank) too much but he is a great man manager. All the players are loving having him around. He speaks with us all and has meetings every day. Even with the coaching staff he has brought in, everyone gets on so well. It’s a great environment.

“We have had a good start to the season. When a few of us come back (from injury) and strengthen the squad, hopefully we can do some big things.”

“Another reason why I have been so frustrated is because it is a World Cup year and everyone wants to show why they should be going. There have been three international breaks this season and I have not been available for any of them. It’s been difficult but it is part of football.”