Cartilage Free Captain

Dear hodddlers, we’ve gone through a lot these past few weeks. I must thank you all for your patience and understanding as I go through but a small portion of Queen’s discography. We began with the mystic My Fairy King to the overlooked Brian May tune Long Away, Freddie Mercury’s farewell The Show Must Go On and their bombastic Seven Seas of Rhye.

Today we wrap it all up with your hoddler-in-chief’s favourite Queen songs.

There would be no Track of the Day without Queen. This hoddle format would not exist were it not for Queen. No other musical artist shaped me like Queen did. Queen was my awakening to what the world could sound like. John Deacon is my favourite bass player. Brian May is my favourite guitarist. Freddie Mercury is my favourite vocalist. Roger Taylor is my second-favourite drummer (behind Tommy Ramone).

And so as we conclude the end of our brief journey through Queen’s discography, I want to share with you my favourite Queen songs of all time.

Enjoy your hump day all, and Keep Yourself Alive !

Impossible to rank. Bohemian Rhapsody

Where can I put this song? Anything other than #1 feels ridiculous. Is it my favourite Queen song? I’m not sure. It’s their greatest. It’s a monolith, really. Truth is I’ve spoilt it for myself to the point where I can listen to it but only a couple times a year. Bohemian Rhapsody is its own category.

But where do the rest of my favourite Queen songs rank? Let’s take a look ...

#20-11: Radio Gaga, Liar, Who Wants to Live Forever, Don’t Stop Me Now, All Dead All Dead, Fat Bottomed Girls, I Want To Break Free, The Millionaire Waltz, Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, Love of My Life

The first of three songs with “Queen” in the title. This is the first, setting up for a bonkers Side Two on Queen’s second album. Oddly enough this one was written by Brian May.

My favourite song from Queen after News of the World. There’s the more disco-centric/anthemic Queen, and the more hard rock. This falls closer to the hard rock version. I love it.

A few hoddlers mentioned this Brian May song when I featured Long Away a couple weeks ago. I said it in the comments: 39 is much better. What I enjoy most is how John Deacon’s double bass carries it.

What more can I say after last week’s TOTD?

John Deacon’s finest song. And done in a gorgeous ballad that became one of Freddie Mercury’s best vocal performances.

One of two songs from A Day at the Races, but this is the hard-rocking song that instantly hooked me more than a decade ago. It’s also the song that I used to turn fitzie sr onto Queen.

A tour de force of a song, using the collective strength of three incrediblly strong singers to deliver something superb.

The penultimate song on News of the World, and the band’s strongest song from that record. This song is sort of split into three different parts blended very well by Brian May and Roger Taylor. It’s quintessential Queen and essential listening.

This song is absolutely bonkers and sets itself up as the perfect “little sister” to Bohemian Rhapsody. The lyrics are astonishinghly mesmerising:

Here comes the Black Queen poking in the pile

Fi fo the Black Queen marching single file

Take this take that bring them down to size

March to the Black Queen

There is so much to uncover with this song. Too much to break down in this post. But it’s incredible. Chaotic good. Chaotic evil. This is the song that showed us what Queen could be. Two records later, they delivered BoRap.

Lucious, grandiose and in-your-face. That’s who Queen are. What other song encapsulates that better than Killer Queen? References to a top-shelf liquer and deceased French monarch open the lyrics to this glamourous 70s tune.

It’s also something that my favourite song from Queen features some of the most understated work from all four members. This song is so tight. It never gets old.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Killer Queen, by Queen

And now for your links:

Football London: “Ange Postecoglou granted new Mathys Tel opportunity to enhance future Tottenham plans”

Dan KP: “Ange Postecoglou facing big Tottenham selection decisions as injured players return”

The Athletic ($$): “Is it time to bring the Premier League and English Football League back together?”

Tottenham Hotspur have fresh injury concerns today after Sami Mokbel reported in the Daily Mail that Dejan Kulusevski has picked up a foot injury in training and will be out for an indeterminate period of time.

Deki posted a photograph on Instagram of him wearing a protective boot, and Mokbel writes that while the full extent of the injury won’t be known until at least tomorrow, Kulusevski will be sidelined for at minimum Thursday’s Europa League first leg match against AZ Alkmaar in the Netherlands, and the weekend match against Bournemouth.

This is, obviously, not great news, but it’s ameliorated a bit by the fact that Spurs are set to have Cuti Romero, Micky van de Ven, Richarlison, and Dominic Solanke back as soon as the AZ match or in the near future. And honestly, I’m a little surprised that Deki hasn’t broken down a bit sooner — he’s got a lot of miles on the tires already this season, and maybe it was too much to ask to have him skate through fortunately like Pedro Porro.

In truth though, if we were going to lose Deki for a period of big matches, this might be about the best time to do it. Brennan Johnson is likely Deki’s replacement in the side, and Johnson’s directness and back post runs might actually be a better fit against AZ than Deki’s close control in and around the box. Not that I’m happy he’s not available, but with Spurs edging closer to full fitness it’s not as dire an injury as it would’ve been, say, a month ago.

It’s also possible that Deki will be out longer than just two games; that protective boot isn’t a good look, but we won’t know anything until the physios have a chance to evaluate him.

On Monday we took a look at the Championship. Who will join Tottenham in the Premier League next year? That remains to be seen. But what about two years? LONGER????

Such questions demand us sending our attention towards the next three levels of the English football pyramid. And I would be negligent in my duties as hoddler-in-chief if I did not deliver the latest and greatest most mediocre update to the hoddle on what’s going on. With that, let’s go.

EFL League One:

What the heck is going on Leyton Orient? The last we checked you were flying high in the league with Jamie Donley and Josh Keeley tearing it up. They’ve lost three straight and now sit outside the playoffs. But this might be the most exciting league in the pyramid currently with three clubs within a shout at the second automatic place. Keep tabs on this race!

EFL League One:

Top six:

Bottom four:

EFL League Two:

Poor Morecambe. They have had such a rough time in the last year or so with their ownership structure and I am seriously concerned about the future of this club. I don’t know what relegation would bring to them. I hope I don’t have to find out.

Top seven:

Bottom two:

National League:

The race for the lone automatic spot is a little tighter today than it was a couple years ago but the picture hasn’t changed too much with Barnet still at the top of the table. Your hoddler-in-chief’s former ‘local club’ was indeed Barnet FC and of course he remains quite fond of it (even though he never attended a game).

Top two:

Fitzie’s track of the day: Compositional Theme Story, by Charles Mingus

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Spurs loanee Jamie Donley is thriving at Leyton Orient: ‘He sees things quickly, so he wants to play quickly’”

Dan KP: “Ange Postecoglou facing big Tottenham selection decisions as injured players return”

Alasdair Gold: “Cristian Romero and the Argentina decision that will feel familiar at Tottenham”

Vice (from 2017): “Meet One of the Last Shrimp Trawlers in Morecambe Bay”

Timo Werner. We all know the situation around him this season — he’s here on loan but hasn’t exactly been setting the world on fire with his performances and has found him sliding down the pecking order at Spurs to the point where he’s basically a late impact sub or deep rotation option.

The writing’s been pretty much on the wall about Timo’s future since Ange Postecoglou criticized his work ethic in a press conference a couple of months ago. So we should not be at all surprised that we’re now getting reports suggesting that Tottenham will not be triggering his purchase option this summer, and that he’ll return to RB Leipzig at the conclusion of his loan.

That’s the story from the Mirror (lol, yes I know) anyway, which pretty much says exactly that. Now, we don’t usually use the Mirror as a primary source at Carty Free Towers for a pretty good reason — they’re generally unreliable. In this case, however, I think it’s safe to say the Mirror’s reading the tea leaves, which coincidentally are artfully arranged to spell out the words “TIMO IS NOT STAYING”. Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, frankly.

I like Timo. I think he’s a swell dude and a good teammate, but Tottenham need players that Ange Postecoglou can regularly rely upon, and this season Timo has proven that he’s not that guy. Timo’s Leipzig contract expires next summer (2026) and there are reports that clubs in MLS could be interested in bringing him in, but that depends on whether he wants to stay in Europe or seek a new challenge.

Not signing Timo means more opportunities for Wilson Odobert, and also potentially opens a slot for someone like Yang Min-hyeok, Jamie Donley, Alfie Devine, or someone completely new and different. After this season, “new and different” sounds pretty okay to me.

Cuti Romero hasn’t played a match for Tottenham Hotspur since the home loss for Chelsea in early December, and has been slowly rehabilitating an injured foot since that time. We are still waiting for his return to Tottenham’s first team squad, though he was apparently photographed in full team training, which was posted on Tottenham’s social media channels this morning.

That said, to absolutely nobody’s surprise, Romero was named to Argentina’s preliminary squad ahead of the upcoming international break, which starts the week of March 16. Argentina are playing two World Cup qualifiers against Uruguay on March 21 and at arch-rivals Brazil on March 25.

This is annoying, certainly. Both Romero and Giovani Lo Celso when he was still at Spurs seemed to always be willing to come back from injury to play for their national team, sometimes to their detriment. While I’m too lazy to look up the details, I can certainly remember them pushing to recover in time for international matches half a world away, only to pick up another knock or an injury while playing for Argentina causing them to lose even more time for Tottenham.

That said, this really does feel like one of those unfortunate coincidences. The good news this time is that Tottenham have a few matches upcoming BEFORE everyone disperses for the international break, including both legs of the Europa League Round of 16 against AZ Alkmaar, and Premier League games against Bournemouth and at Fulham. If Romero is available to play in a few of those matches, I’ll feel a little better about him jetting across the Atlantic during the break, since he could potentially use those games to increase his fitness. And there’s always the chance that he doesn’t make Argentina’s final squad for the break, though that feels unlikely.

Just as long as he doesn’t pick up another stupid injury.

Welcome to the latest edition of the EFL Championship Roundup, where hoddle headquarters takes a look at what’s going on in the second tier of the English football pyramid.

This time, we’ll be looking at the race for the playoffs. There are only 11-12 games left to play and a few teams are still jockeying for position. I see a smaller pool of candidates this year with #1-4 out of reach. There are also a lot of bad teams in the table this year.

So how many clubs are competing for the final two playoff spots? I count seven.

The inside track: Coventry (53 Pts), West Brom (52 Pts)

The two clubs which currently occupy the final two spots. First is Coventry, who have had a remarkable turnaround since Frank Lampard took over the club at the end of November. They’ve been one of the hottest clubs since January as well, going 8-2-1. One thing going in their favour: Josh Maja, who is third in the golden boot race with 12 goals.

And then there’s West Brom, who’ve seemed a bit wobbly since manager Carlos Cobreran left the club on 24 December. They’ve also got the most draws in the Championship at 16 (!).

Outside looking in: Blackburn (52 Pts), Middlesbrough (50 Pts)

This is becoming a familiar scene for Blackburn: Start strong and fade towards the end. They’re 4-6-2 in 2025 with a few bad losses against Oxford United, Swansea and QPR. They’ve been without last year’s star striker Sammie Szmodics, and it shows. Adreas Weimann currently leads their goal tally with six.

Boro are also in it, but I’m less convinced and don’t think they’ve been a serious playoff contender this entire season.

Also hanging around: Bristol City (49 Pts), Watford (49 Pts), Norwich City (48 Pts)

Four or five points adrift of sixth isn’t insurmountable, but I feel like it may as well be for these wildly inconsistent clubs. None are particularly inspiring and I can’t see them making a run.

Would it matter anyways? I guess any club that makes the playoffs has a chance at promotion (it’s only three wins, after all), but this year it really feels like it’ll come down to whichever of Leeds, Sheffield United, Burnley or Sunderland fail to obtain the automatic spots.

Top six:

Bottom three:

Fitzie’s track of the day: Funky But Chic, by David Johansen

And now for your links:

BBC: “Dele makes first squad in two years as Como lose at Roma”

The Athletic ($$): “How Tottenham became the biggest Premier League club on TikTok”

Dan KP: “Kevin Danso reveals rugby offers as new Tottenham hero reflects on start”

Tottenham Hotspur’s men’s team has the weekend off as it’s an FA Cup weekend. That’s good for them as it gives them more time to rest, recuperate, and prepare for the midweek tie at AZ Alkmaar in the Europa Leauge.

But that’s not to say that there isn’t a Tottenham Hotspur team playing football today. Spurs Women are in action at home vs. Bunny Shaw and Manchester City, hoping to snap a three match losing streak against one of the best teams in the league. It’ll be a tough challenge. But surprises happen every day, that’s why you play the matches.

This is your open thread.

Lineups

How to Watch

Here’s some fresh News Out of Nowhere™ concerning Tottenham Hotspur Women that literally caused my jaw to drop. Spurs announced on social media and their website that goalkeeper Becky Spencer has been loaned to Chelsea on an emergency basis until the end of the season.

Spencer, a Jamaica international, has been at Tottenham for five and a half seasons, and until recently was Spurs’ No. 1; in recent years she has seen her match time dwindle, and is now considered a third keeper under Robert Vilahamn, behind new signing Lize Kop and academy graduate Eleanor Heeps.

Chelsea are in a bit of a pickle themselves, with Femke Liefting picking up a recent long term injury and Zecira Musovic expecting a baby. Hannah Hampton and Katie Cox are still at the club, and it’s not clear yet whether Spencer is coming in as a potential starter or as emergency cover. Hampton is expected to start in goal for Chelsea for tomorrow’s match against Brighton.

This is a bit shocking, frankly. There was a time a few years ago when I thought Spencer could start for any team in the WSL, but at 34 she is aging and no longer is putting in the heroic performances she was known for. In my mind this move pretty much crystalizes the fact that Spencer is not likely to remain at Tottenham for much longer, as the club has already found her long-term replacements in Kop and Heeps. I’d expect her to either move on or be sold this summer.

It was a hard-fought and kinda even affair in the end, but Tottenham Hotspur couldn’t quite find the back of the net to earn another result against Manchester City on Wednesday, losing 0-1 at home to an Erling Haaland tap-in. Spurs had the chance to do the triple over Pep Guardiola this season, but instead it’s their three game league winning streak that gets snapped. The good news is Spurs have the weekend off in order to rest and prepare for their Europa League Round of 16 first leg tie against AZ Alkmaar in the Netherlands.

I’m hardly a Beatles expert. In fact, I’m not even really a Beatles fan and I could take or leave their music generally, while acknowledging their cultural and musical significance. The Beatles did put out some absolute bangers, but they also had some stuff that was experimental, weird, or just plain goofy. Sometimes those two Venn diagram circles overlapped. And that’s what we’re going to focus on today.

Here are my Tottenham Hotspur player ratings for their 0-1 home loss to Manchester City to the theme of downright goofy Beatles songs that still bang. This is hardly an exhaustive list that scours their entire musical corpus — just the songs off the top of my head that fit the category. There are weirder Beatles songs — Maxwell’s Silver Hammer, Yellow Submarine, Rocky Racoon, etc. — but they may just be goofy and not slap like the ones I identified below. But for the true Beatles-heads among us here, feel free to tell me where I got things hilariously wrong.

This is just without question a banger of a song, and the lyrics are basically a 1960s amateur novel pitch to a publisher. Bizarre theme, but McCartney’s bass playing just bangs on this one and it’s a real toe-tapper. Goofy as hell and I love it. Incidentally I also love the above linked video of the lads “playing” in what looks like Highgate Cemetery but they didn’t bother to set up the drum kit so Ringo’s just sitting at the ground nodding forlornly.

No Tottenham players in this category.

This song goes hard. Honestly, if not for the weird barking at the end by John and Paul I wonder if this song would’ve been much, much more popular. It rules.

Just filling out the categories.

I had Bungalow Bill here at first and feel I need to mention it as an honorable mention (the ultimate We’re All Drunk in the Pub sing-a-long chorus) but then was reminded of this song from “Revolver,” which is psychedelic and strange and fun and upbeat and driving and awesome. I just can’t leave it out.

Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 4.0): Saved Spurs’ bacon with several important stops in the first half, a few of them spectacular. Didn’t have much to do in the second half.

Kevin Danso (Community — 3.5): Solid defensive performance in trying circumstances, and had two decent headers on target.

Djed Spence (Community — 4.0): On form he’s probably Spurs’ best fullback right now. Glided into space with the ball in a way that Udogie hasn’t shown yet, and confident with the ball at his feet. Good match.

The Beatles were certainly ahead of their time, and that’s apparent by this song, which sounds like standard late 1970s punk but was recorded in 1968. The absurdist lyrics only add to the character of this one, which is, yes, goofy but also is a real head-nodder.

Archie Gray (Community — 3.5): A tough job against a talented City offense, and Archie did his job as well as he was able. These CB minutes will pay dividends next season.

Rodrigo Bentancur (Community — 3.5): Picked up a cheap yellow early on, but stabilized and was one of Spurs’ better performers on the day.

Lucas Bergvall (Community — 3.5): Saucy with the ball at his feet and kept the ball moving with his carrying ability. You can see his comfort at this level improving with every match.

James Maddison (Community — 3.5): Spurs’ only source of creativity in this one. Was a key player in Tottenham’s 2nd half offensive surge.

Wilson Odobert (Community — 3.0): I feel like we’re still just getting to know Wilson this season, and he had some exciting moments in this one. I was almost sad to see him withdrawn for Son.

Ange Postecoglou (Community — 3.0): Getting criticized ex post facto for rotating the squad against City, but I think regardless of the scoreline it was the right move. Got some minutes into the legs of players that need it, and got some important rest for senior players who will likely start next week against AZ.

OK, you probably expected me to put Yellow Submarine here, but that felt too obvious, so instead I’m going with the SECOND track to this album. I saw All Together Now described online as “pure children’s television” — weird, and slightly off-putting from the band that recorded “Come Together”, but still strangely compelling and uptempo.

Pedro Porro (Community — 3.0): Got repeatedly blitzed by Dorgu in the first half, but stabilized in the second, especially on the offensive side of the ball.

Destiny Udogie (Community — 3.0): Had his moments, and is certainly still shaking off rust. Lost Haaland in the box for the City goal, but also did some good things in combination with Odobert.

Brennan Johnson (Community — 2.5): Johnson is never a good pick against a side that presses, and he was almost completely anonymous for much of this match. But he did have some good passes into the box late in the 2nd half when Spurs were pressing for an equalizer. It’s enough for me to kick him into a 3 star category, if barely.

Pape Sarr (Community — 3.0): Added some pace and energy to the midfield. Would be up at 4 stars if he had converted that last-gasp scoring opportunity.

Dejan Kulusevski (Community — 3.0): Rested for this match, and couldn’t quite replicate the creativity offered by Maddison after coming on.

Son Heung-Min (Community — 3.0): A good sub to run at tired legs late in the game, but he wasn’t quite able to make a significant impact in the short time he had on the pitch.

A fairly standard blues-rock track about having public sex in the middle of the street. Strange as hell, but also... yeah, I can dig it.

Mathys Tel (Community — 2.5): I don’t know if it’s his fault and he’s only been here a short time but Tel is proving to be more of a project than anticipated. This was a bad match for him against a very good team. His ceiling is incredibly high, but is he £50m summer option worthy? Not sure.

Seriously trippy George Harrison vehicle that leans heavily into the era’s psychedelia, but the lyrics are literally about George trying to stay awake so he can see his friends in the band before he falls asleep in his chair. Also love the video in which George literally tries to play the floor like an instrument while wearing an orange leisure suit and a very confused expression. Does it slap? Wellllllllllll okay maybe not but I simply had to include it.

Stuart Sutcliffe Memorial Non-Rating:

It’s February 28 already? That can only mean one thing:

Pete Weber Day was two days ago! My apologies to the hoddle for missing this.

For those of you who don’t know, Pete Weber was the bad boy of the Pro Bowling Association. Who did celebrations better than Bad Boy Pete?

It should come as no surprise, then, that Pete Wber would deliver the greatest bowling celebration in all time (the greatest celebration in sports, ever?).

Here we see the GOAT delivering one of the clutchest strikes to clinch the 2012 US Open title. And he delivered one hell of a celebratory quote:

“Yes, god damn it, yes! That is right, I did it!

“Are you kidding me?! That’s right!

“Who do you think you are? I am! Damn it right”

Has it been 13 years already? Goodness, I remember the day it aired on ESPN. It has lived in my head rent-free since then. It’s absolutely incredible, and it is bowling’s greatest gift to mankind.

Thank you, Pete Weber.

Fitzie’s track of the day: COMPLICADO, by Gativideo

And now for your links:

Jay Harris ($$): “Wilson Odobert’s lively return to the starting XI gives Ange Postecoglou a welcome dilemma”

Alasdair Gold: “The Tottenham youngster Pep Guardiola called ‘unstoppable’ and Postecoglou’s Timo Werner rage”

Dan KP: “Man City team selection was understandable - but risks building a losing culture”