It’s been a slow couple of weeks around these parts, what with the stupid international break and the transfer window freshly closed. There haven’t even been any stupid transfer rumors to get us worked up about, and the only other thing going on is today’s news that Rodrigo Bentancur is likely going to get banned for being an insensitive idiot.
So what we need is a distraction. And I’ve got one for you! It all started with this tweet, and a subsequent long discussion in Carty Free’s Slack channel.
Franz Ferdinand. A true #Barclaysman indeed. But hold it — what exactly IS a “Barclaysman?” Here’s how we described it:
Barclaysman describes guys who played in the Barclays Premier League in the 2000s and early 2010s who were good and league staples, but not stars. They weren’t crap enough to be called crap, occasionally did some really cool stuff, but bounced around the median with regards to ability and league performance. They defined the level and style of football in that particular era — “players’ players,” guys you enjoyed watching play... but not enough to not scream at them every other match or so.
So there you go, and that pulled us down a long and deep rabbit hole about who exactly were the Barclaysmen of Tottenham Hotspur. We talked, and debated, and occasionally argued and the end result is this: the Tottenham Hotspur Barclaysman XI.
Let’s remember some guys!
Bench: Kasey Kellar, Didier Zokora, Vedran Corluka, Benoit Assou-Ekotto, Jamie O’Hara, Eidur Gudjohnsen, Mido
Manager: Harry Redknapp
Now, we took some arbitrary liberties with this lineup. Some players we dismissed as too good (and we can argue about Aaron Lennon!). Others weren’t here long enough to really feel like they’re a Spurs Barclaysman (Stephen Pienaar is a great example, he’s Barclays to the core but he’s Everton’s Barclaysman more than he is Tottenham’s). And there’s plenty to discuss and argue about here. Let’s go through the starting XI.
Keeper: Huerelho Gomes
My god, Gomes. Depending on who you ask he was either Tottenham’s best-ever keeper at that point in the Premier League era or a Brazilian fraud who flapped at corners and was always good for a howler. In truth: he was both, equally capable of standing on his head or making the dumbest of basic mistakes. A true Barclaysman.
Defenders: Lee Pyong-ho, Anthony Gardner, Michael Dawson, Younes Kaboul
OK, we cheated a bit — Kaboul isn’t a right back, but we had to shoehorn him in somewhere. He kind of defined the immediate post-Ledley King back line era — solid enough, but not good enough that we couldn’t upgrade him after a couple years or that he’d be in danger of getting poached by a bigger club.
Michael Dawson might be a controversial choice — borderline club legend, affable guy, workmanlike, COYS to his core, but really only at his best when played beside King, and once Ledley retired you could see the cracks in his game emerge. Left Spurs to go to Hull City, which tells you a lot.
Anthony Gardner may predate a lot of fandoms — cool player, did some amazing stuff from time to time and even earned a single England cap, but he was famously made of glass and broke all the time.
Lee Young-pyo was Tottenham’s first Korean player and he did some absolutely mad stuff back in the day. He was considered one of the best left backs in the Netherlands before coming to Spurs to play under Martin Jol, and is maybe best known for attempting a spinning backheel nutmeg in his own box. Just a workmanlike fullback, proper Barclaysman.
Midfielders: Tom Huddlestone, Steed Malbranque, Jermaine Jenas
I unabashedly love THuddz. The guy was not what you’d call “fast” or even especially “mobile” but stick him at the base of midfield and let him tackle dudes and ping long balls from deep and he could be sublime. He was Tottenham’s Pirlo, only without the good hair and titles.
STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! That’s it. That’s the comment.
Jermain Jenas has is uh problems right now but as a player he was perfectly cromulent. Capable of doing a job and occasionally putting in a truly divine performance, he ended up with 100 appearances for Tottenham. And yet, looking back most people are like “Oh yeah, Jenas, he was alright.” That’s the mark of a Barclaysman.
Wingers: Niko Kranjcar, Aaron Lennon
Good ol’ Niko. His career is almost quintessentially Barclaysman, if you expand it out to include continental clubs: Dinamo Zagreb, Hajduk Split, Tottenham, Dynamyo Kyiv, New York Cosmos, Rangers. Pretty decent career, but not one you’d point to and say “this guy was a star.” He was a solid enough player and a workman-like dude, especially under Harry Redknapp, very capable of putting in a solid performance, but ended up firmly in Gareth Bale’s shadow by the end.
If I’m honest, Aaron Lennon is probably too good to be a true Barclaysman, but I can’t leave him out. So he gets the start and the captain’s badge. All hail.
Striker: Roman Pavlyuchenko
Super Pav! He sort of defined Tottenham’s ability level in the Redknapp years and embodied all the promise and frustration that came along with it. He was good for the occasional banger and certainly did know where the goal is, but very often it would’ve been better if the goal was set about 20 feet higher than where it actually was. We had SO MANY Pavlyuchenko Row Z memes on Carty Free, y’all. It was a glorious time.
Manager: Harry Redknapp
In the modern era I don’t think there were too many managers better at getting the most out of a relatively middling group of players than Harry Redknapp, which is why he made a career out of rehabilitating clubs in trouble. My guy bounced around from crappy club to crappy club doing reclamation work, and never found any greater success than at Spurs, even taking them to their first ever Champions League. Nearly had the England job too, which would’ve enshrined him as the Barclaysman of all Barclaysman managers.
Now we turn it over to you! Stop arguing about controversial stuff — start arguing about stupid shit instead, like who we should’ve included in our list of Spurs Barclaysmen. Have your say in the comments and enjoy this opportunity to Remember Some Guys!™
