Welcome to Row Z, The Athletic’s weekly column that shines a light on the bonkers side of the game.
From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every week we’ll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the sport we all love…
Sir Jim is sorry… if you didn’t like what he said
It’s a common theme in English football parlance that supporters and the media “want to hear more” from their owners.
Full credit to Manchester United’s Sir Jim Ratcliffe, then, for making everyone want to hear less from him. Much less.
Row Z was beyond shocked to hear that the 73-year-old white, male billionaire who doesn’t live in the UK had less-than-sympathetic views about the country taking in immigrants — you know, those people who might be fleeing war or persecution and attempting to find a better life in the UK.
It’s just so out of keeping with Ratcliffe’s character, what with him cancelling staff Christmas parties, ordering people to work in the office instead of at home, cutting staff bonuses, swapping staff lunches for a piece of fruit, making 450 people redundant, turfing the women’s team out of their own training ground building and choosing to watch a Premier League match instead of the women’s FA Cup final (which United won for the first time) and, when asked about progress of the women’s team, said: “There’s only so much that you can do… if not, you get spread too thinly.”
He’s just a people person.
“I mean, the UK has been colonised, it’s costing too much money,” Ratcliffe told the world in a Sky News interview last week while also claiming the country’s population had increased by 12million in the past six years (it’s 2.7m). “The UK has been colonised by immigrants, really, hasn’t it?”
The list of those either condemning or distancing themselves from Ratcliffe’s comments included the UK prime minister, the mayor of Manchester, numerous Manchester United supporter groups, anti-discrimination campaign group Kick It Out and England rugby union captain Maro Itoje. Oh, and Manchester United themselves, who released this statement that named no names: “Manchester United prides itself on being an inclusive and welcoming club. Our diverse group of players, staff and global community of supporters reflect the history and heritage of Manchester, a city that anyone can call home.”
One person not on the above list is Nigel Farage, the leader of UK political party Reform. It’s always good to be on the right side of the argument, isn’t it?
To be fair to Ratcliffe, he later said he was sorry if people didn’t like what he said. Nice one.
We’ve yet to hear from any of Manchester United’s foreign players on the comments (not that it is on them to respond, nor should we blame them if they keep their counsel), but far more pertinent would be a penny for the thoughts of England midfielder Kobbie Mainoo, for example, whose parents both migrated to England from Ghana.
How about defender Ayden Heaven, who also has Ghanaian heritage? Further afield, Leny Yoro was born in France and is of Ivorian descent, Joshua Zirkeee was born in the Netherlands to a Nigerian mother, Tyrell Malacia was born in the Netherlands and has a Curacaoan background, while Patrick Dorgu was born in Denmark but his family’s roots are in Nigeria.
Even Manchester United’s other owners, the Glazer family, came to America via grandparents who were Lithuanian Jewish immigrants.
Is it annoying when someone from a foreign land moves to your country? Well, let’s ask the residents of Monaco, who kindly took Ratcliffe in when he moved there in 2020. Monaco, completely coincidentally, doesn’t collect personal income tax or capital gains taxes. What a guy.
A short-lived Tudor time?
So it turns out Tottenham Hotspur, or Tottenham as they just love being called, had a plan all along when finally sacking Thomas Frank, who leaves the club with the worst win percentage of any permanent Spurs manager.
In hiring renowned (sort of) firefighter Igor Tudor purely for three months to keep them in the Premier League, Spurs have essentially called on the Croatian Sam Allardyce.
A club statement announcing Tudor’s appointment left out some crucial details about his career, though, which Row Z has helpfully amended in brackets for your delectation.
After spells with a range of clubs including Galatasaray (sacked after 10 months), Udinese (sacked after eight months), Hajduk Split (resigned after seven months) and Hellas Verona (left by mutual consent after eight months), Igor led Marseille to a third-place Ligue 1 finish in 2022-23, securing Champions League qualification (and left immediately after doing so).
In March 2024, he joined Lazio, delivering a strong finish to their Serie A campaign to secure Europa League qualification (and resigned immediately afterwards), and most recently at Juventus, guided them to the Champions League having arrived in March 2025 (sacked after seven months).
To be fair, it’s only a three-month appointment and Tudor achieved several objectives at said clubs, so Spurs (who were ninth in the most recent Deloitte money league with revenues of £584million, $796m) should be fine as they look to finish higher than last year’s effort of 17th.
At the very least, Tudor’s arrival has headline writers and pun purveyors delighted.
Talking of managers who might not hang around long…
Since we’re thinking about managerial statements, Nottingham Forest published 229 words of gushing praise when hiring Sean Dyche the other day.
It was October 29 when the club eagerly highlighted “the former Forest youth player” in the second paragraph, plus noting his “experienced coaching team”, comprising two club legends (Ian Woan and Steve Stone).
The joyous statement talked of the “respected and experienced” Dyche’s “perfect blend of character, tactical acumen and proven achievement”, with the teams he had managed “defined by defensive organisation, resilience, and strength from set pieces”.
“As a former Forest youth player who lives locally, Dyche also has a deep understanding of the values and pride of Forest and its supporters,” the club added, before, for the second time, specfically referencing his character and tactical acumen, as well as his man-management skills, with all of the above representing the “best opportunity” for a successful season.
February 12 at 12.31am: “Nottingham Forest Football Club can confirm that Sean Dyche has been relieved of his duties as head coach.
“We would like to thank Sean and his staff for their efforts during their time at the club and we wish them the best of luck for the future. We will be making no further comment at this time.”
Forest had given Nuno Espirito Santo — you know, that guy who led them to their best finish in 30 years — a new contract in the summer. Obviously that didn’t last long, then they hired Ange Postecoglou, then Dyche, with those three contracts totalling six and a half years. Between them, the trio lasted seven months.