ANY fans here attempting dry January could be forgiven for instantly turning back to the booze come the end of this turgid Thomas Frank affair.
Because what Brentford and Tottenham – the Dane’s past and present sides – served up here was so bad that observers needed a stiff drink just to make it through it.
While supporters tuning in on telly will have wished they had watched the Traitors instead.
Frank’s Spurs had as much inspiration as a Kate Garraway theory at the round table, taking until the 93rd minute to muster a decent effort on goal.
Worryingly for the manager, it had the 1,723 travelling supporters singing “Boring, boring Tottenham” as well as songs of praise for their stars of yesteryear.
In no particular order, Ledley King, Dele Alli, Jan Vertonghen, Toby Alderweireld, Jermain Defoe, Martin Jol, Danny Rose, Mousa Dembele, Christian Eriksen and Eric Dier all had ditties sung about them – as did John Terry.
It summed up just how unengaged with that was taking place out on the pitch, and who could blame them?
The highlight of a truly shocking first half was looking at fluorescent felt-tip pen colour boots – one pink, one lime green – on Djed Spence’s feet.
Jordan Henderson has extended a fabulous career with his move to Brentford but you would not exactly describe him as a playmaker.
Yet the England veteran looked to be the most creative player on the pitch.
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Kevin Schade did have the ball in the net within the first five minutes but even that incident lacked any jeopardy as the German was so obviously offside as he turned in a rebound.
Spurs’ only half-chances of an abysmal first 45 fell to Archie Gray, deployed at No10, but the teenager had both his efforts blocked.
What Brennan Johnson must have made of it all is anyone’s guess.
The Europa League hero would not have been watching as he was busy undergoing his medical ahead of a £35million switch to Crystal Palace.
Johnson, who was Tottenham’s top-scorer last term, has not seemed entirely sold on the move but with Frank deeming him expendable, has agreed to go to South London.
Yet when Spurs looked to have as little cutting edge going forward as they did here – and, in truth, have in many games this season – some fans may question the wisdom of selling a player who netted 18 times last term.
Especially those who sang the 24-year-old’s “Johnson again ole ole” song from that magical night in Bilbao in May.
Then again, those supporters may also be asking themselves how could they have expected more from their attack when Frank frequently had 11 men behind the ball at the Gtech?
It was not like Keith Andrews, the man who succeeded Frank when he went to Spurs in the summer, had his side playing scintillating stuff either.
The focus on long balls, high balls and Michael Kayode’s bullet throw went into overdrive here.
Gray thought for a second he could have had a penalty early in the second half when going down under Schade’s challenge but VAR upheld the decision of on-field ref Andrew Madley.
The nearest we came to a goal was when Vitaly Janelt had a header brilliantly saved by Guglielmo Vicario, who was also booked for time-wasting after just 69 minutes.
Tottenham finally had a half-chance in the third minute of stoppage when the ball fell back to Richarlison around the penalty area, but he could not beat Caoimhin Kelleher.
Frank went over to the few away fans who had not left already and was greeted with boos after such a sobering, insipid performance.
