Cartilage Free Captain

Good morning and welcome to the first edition of ‘Fitzie’s Gaming Corner’, where your hoddler-in-chief talks about games (video and non-video). During a recent hoddle audit, many of you expressed a desire to have a space to talk about video games. I know very little about video games, but the people want what the people want. So, Hoddle Headquarters is testing out this new feature because this is a hoddle for the people.

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There’s no better place to start Fitzie’s Gaming Corner than with a discussion about Super Smash Brothers. If you ask me, video games peaked with Super Smash Bros Brawl. And it’s probably no coincidence that’s the last video game I bought.

It was the greatest. You had these amazing characters and beautiful graphics. There was a compelling single-player adventure mode, as well as dynamic stages that allowed for some truly fun gameplay. This was the third installment of the Super Smash Bros series, and two came after that. I didn’t purchase the other ones (because I didn’t have gaming systems), but there was one character I really liked.

Which brings me to the point of this hoddle: I’m going to list, in no particular order, my 10 favourite Super Smash Bros characters. Did anyone here play Smash Bros? Gimme your thoughts below. Or, ya know, just chat about video games or whatever. (If yesterday’s hoddle mishap taught us anything, it’s that this truly matters very little).

Wii Fit Trainer: This is what the kids call S-Tier. Who knew downward-facing dog could be so deadly? Apparently the makers of Super Smash Bros 4 (whatever that one was called)! Deal serious damage with volleyball or jumping through hoops, this character does it all. Truly one of the most fun to play.

King Dee Dee Dee: This is the one I was more hyped for Brawl than anyone else. I thought he was the coolest from the Kirby series. So freaking excited. Who doesn’t love an emperor penguin with a hammer?

Roy: The absolute coolest of the charactes representing the Fire Emblem series. Sure, Marth had this demure aura about him, but did he have Roy’s rage? NO! This is what made Roy the best character in Super Smash Bros Melee.

Link: This one’s a classic character and is deserving of everyone’s top 10. The bow and arrow makes link an excellent long-range damage character, but they’re also pretty dang good in close range. Plus the little bomb droppings are fun (or is that Samus? Someone fact-check fitzie).

Pokemon Trainer: Now get this. You don’t get one character - you get THREE. Who doesn’t wanna play as Squirtle, Ivysaur and Charizard? There are a lot of Pokemon in the Super Smash universe, but none compare to the incredible Pokemon Trainer.

Ice Climbers: Speaking of plural, these characters also deserve a shout. I love playing with them. They’re so fun, so cuddly. But, man, if one goes you are screwed. It’s worth it though because they’re just so freaking fun.

Captain Falcon: Show me your moves! Who didn’t love to punch with this guy during Melee, especially in that one stage of his? He was supremely fast, which I think makes him one of the most fun to play.

Princess Peach: Another classic. But does your classic character’s attacks include a frying pan, parasol and Mr Toad? No? Well then maybe you should reconsider your life choices. It doesn’t get better than Princess Peach.

Ike: The angriest of the three Fire Emblem characters. He also seems to be the strongest, but I’ll let others make that judgment. The Brawl stages were pretty easy to clear when Ike was around town. We like Ike!

R.O.B.: I was also pretty happy with his inclusion in the Brawl series. I mean, it’s a freaking robot post-Wall-E. And it shoots lasers out of its freaking eyes!!

Fitzie’s track of the day: The Pretender, by Jackson Browne

And now for your links:

Jack P-B ($$): “Tottenham Hotspur return to the biggest stage – but have they narrowed the gap on the elite?”

Sami Mokbel: “Spurs start new era under ‘glass half-full’ Frank”

The Telegraph: “Yves Bissouma dropped by Thomas Frank for disciplinary reasons in first test of Spurs manager”

Tottenham Hotspur: “Loan update | Ajayi scores, Donley spot on for Stoke”

For the second time in two seasons, Djed Spence is in talks over an improved contract at Tottenham Hotspur. According to Jack Pitt-Brooke in The Athletic (£), Spence, who signed an improved deal in October, 2024 that extends through the 2027-28 season, is in negotiations over another improved contract thanks to his good performances at fullback last season.

Pedro Porro is Tottenham’s best fullback and I don’t think there’s much of a question about that, but Spence is right up there with Destiny Udogie in second place. And weirdly, considering Djed is ostensibly a right back, he’s played the best on Destiny’s side of the pitch as a LB.

There was once a time when Antonio Conte called him a “club signing” and Djed was considered surly and very much on the fringes of Spurs’ squad. That all changed once Ange Postecoglou came in — Djed was brought into the fold early on last season and he forced his way into Postecoglou’s team plans. The 2024 extension was very much deserved, and this one feels deserved too.

The Athletic doesn’t go into any details about the new deal — whether it would add any extra years to the length of his stay. I assume it includes a healthy bump in salary as from what I can gather he’s still only on £40k/wk in wages. To Johan Lange and Daniel Levy, I say: double it. He’s earned it.

Europa League winners Tottenham Hotspur are set to compete in the Super Cup tomorrow against Champions League winners Paris St. Germain, a match that is either a fantastic opportunity for more continental silverware (if Spurs win) or a glorified preseason friendly (if Spurs lose).

But one player who will not feature in this match is Spurs midfielder Yves Bissouma. Thomas Frank, speaking in a press conference ahead of tomorrow’s match, said Yves was left in London for disciplinary reasons after showing up late to training on multiple occasions this summer.

Frank said that while Dominick Solanke has now returned from injury and is available to play tomorrow, Destiny Udogie is still recovering, and Bissouma was left out of the squad.

‘Dom [Solanke] is the positive one and available for selection. Destiny [Udogie] is close. Bissouma has not travelled due to disciplinary reasons.

“He’s been late several times and now this time the latest time was one too many. With everything you need to give your players a lot of love. There need to be demands and consequences and this time there was a consequence.”

This will do very little to quash the rumors that Bissouma is likely to be sold this summer as Frank continues to put his own stamp on the playing squad. It’s also not the first time Bissouma has been disciplined while at Tottenham — he missed the first match of last season under Ange Postecoglou after a photo of him inhaling nitrous oxide appeared on social media. Postecoglou at the time made plain his disappointment to the media, saying the player needed to do more work to regain his trust.

It’s not a good look. If you’re a professional footballer, one of the easiest bars to clear is “be on time” and apparently Bissouma isn’t capable of doing that. As a consequence he could miss one of Spurs’ biggest matches of the season and an opportunity to win the club’s second European trophy in three months.

Frank also refused to be drawn into speculation over who might be joining the club in the near future. as of this morning Spurs are strongly linked with both Manchester City’s Savinho and Crystal Palace’s Eberechi Eze as they look to strengthen with less than a week before Spurs’ first Premier League match against Burnley and 19 days to the close of the transfer window.

He did, however, say that Spurs fans can expect a new club captain to be named tomorrow.

“The captain will be named tomorrow in the team and the leadership group will be known by the end of the month.”

Frank has been notoriously tight-lipped about who might be in the running to be club captain with Son Heung-Min now at LAFC. Cuti Romero or James Maddison, the two vice captains from last year, would be natural choices, but Frank will make his own decision. One person I think I can safely say it will NOT be, however, is Yves Bissouma.

Today is Mikey Moore’s 18th birthday, which means two things: he’s able to be formally registered with Rangers for his season-long loan in Glasgow, and we can no longer refer to him on this website as “literally a child.”

But there’s more news — the club just announced that, on his birthday, Mikey Moore has also signed an improved deal at Tottenham Hotspur!

Like with the Rangers registration, I’m 99% certain that Mikey couldn’t sign a long-term contract at Tottenham until he became a legal adult, but that the dominoes had been set up a long time in advance of this announcement.

The club doesn’t state any details of his new contract, neither length nor wages. I’d imagine those details will probably come out via one of the club-friendly journalists like Alasdair Gold or the like, if we get them at all. Sometimes Spurs can be a little cautious with leaking or stating contract details for young players or those on the fringes of the first team, and it’s not a bad precaution to take, especially with a young guy like Mikey.

But regardless, this should calm down the people who were freaking out online that Mikey hadn’t been in any Rangers matchday squads up to this point. Pretty sure he will be going forward, and we can hopefully look forward to Mikey being a part of Tottenham’s first team plans for many years to come.

Last night, a Tottenham Hotspur transfer rumor bombshell dropped with numerous highly reliable sources reporting that Spurs and Manchester City are in talks over the signing of 20-year-old Brazilian winger Savinho. This morning, new details are starting to trickle in.

Previous reporting from yesterday had suggested Spurs had made an initial inquiry of around €40m, but Tom Allnut at the Times now writes that City are demanding a fee of around £50m to make sure the transfer goes through.

…Okay?

Look, my initial feelings about Savinho was that, despite being signed for just over £30m just last summer, it would probably take over twice that to get him out of City. I guess I wasn’t too far off, but honestly I’d have been just fine spending £65m or so for a 20-year-old dribbly winger who has a proven assist record and who underperformed his xG by 4 goals last season in limited minutes.

£50m for a player like Savinho feels like a no-brainer, and since yesterday’s bombshell there has been subsequent reporting that Savinho is keen to leave City and is very willing to move to Spurs. Savinho is currently making just £40k/wk at City, so Tottenham would easily be able to give him a significant bump in pay. Since the initial reports, David Ornstein has also posted that Tottenham’s interest in Savinho is very, very real and that things are progressing. Getting Savinho in plus an (eventual) backup 10 like Bilal El Khannouss from Leicester City, and baby you got a stew going.

It still begs the question why City are willing to let Savinho leave just 12 months after signing him, but I think we know the answer to that now.

Well, there we go. Spurs were of course somewhat spuriously (see what I did there?) linked with Rodrygo earlier in the window until reports came out that the player had no intention of leaving Real Madrid for Tottenham. But City selling a player or two to fund a £100m bid for Rodrygo would explain why they might be willing to let Savinho go.

This is a story that is continually developing, so I have no doubt there will be some important update as soon as I hit “publish” on this story, but at this point it does really feel like more of a matter of time before we get confirmation that an agreement has been reached. Y’all, the vibes around Spurs have been pretty rancid lately, but there’s nothing a new signing can’t cure, and I fervently hope that this is one that happens sooner rather than later.

Hoddler’s note: I totally forgot Tottenham signed Pahlinha on loan, which means that it’s time to reset the counter on the whole “hoddle hero” thing we’ve got going on. Let’s see how things progress in the next couple days and then I’ll make a determination from there if we’ll have a new one.

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Great news, everyone. Ryan Mason is 1-0 in his stint as West Bromwich Albion’s head coach so far.

The Baggies began their 2025-26 EFL Championship campaign with a 1-0 win against Blackburn Rovers at home, with Isaac Price scoring in the 15th minute.

I only watched about 30 minutes of the game but it wasn’t the most inspiring football I’ve seen. But, as Ryan Mason said, “The most important thing today was to win.” Here’s some more from the gaffer:

The man also really likes a hoodie.

I think Ryan Mason’s got a great chance to succeed at WBA. It’s one of the better-equipped clubs in the league. But with that also comes bigger expecations.

Your hoddler-in-chief predicted last week that Mason’s WBA would finish eighth in the league. That’d probably constitute a disappointing season for a club that realistically should be aiming for the top six.The hardest thing with Mason is we’ve only seen him in interim spurts, so it’s tough to tell just how talented of a manager he is.

But, hey, the man’s off the mark in his first game which is good. Plus a clean sheet, who doesn’t love that?

West Brom next play Derby County in the League Cup on Tuesday.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Funeral For My Future Children, by Anna Von Hausswolff

And now for your links:

Jay Harris ($$): “Thomas Frank interview: Spurs summer work, Levy relationship and partying until 5am”

ESPN: “Son makes instant impact in LAFC debut, wins penalty in draw”

Football London: “Thomas Frank has seven Tottenham transfers for Johan Lange to complete in summer masterplan”

BBC: “‘Sell up, you plonker’ - how Sheff Wed fans united against owner”

This is why I love the transfer window. One moment the vibes are putrid and nobody expects any more Tottenham Hotspur signings before the close of the window, and the next moment Fabrizio Romano is tweeting that Spurs and Manchester City have begun talks over 21-year-old Brazilian winger Savinho.

I KNOW!

OK, a couple of things — first, Savinho is fun as hell. He’s young, direct, dribbly, and fast. He can pass, he can shoot. His stats aren’t phenomenal — 1g+8a in 1700+ minutes — but those relatively small number of minutes are only because he’s at Manchester City and there are just tons of players that are older and (currently) better. He had 9 goals and 10 assists in just shy of 3000 minutes as a 19-year-old in Girona the year prior, though.

I admit to being puzzled by this rumor, because I can’t figure out why in the world Pep Guardiola would want to sell him except that he’s a friggin’ weirdo and maybe wants a small squad? Or maybe there are FFP issues at play here as well? Holy smokes y’all, I have no idea. But as much as I dislike Fabrizio Romano, if he’s tweeting this rumor, it’s real.

It’s also a weird link for Tottenham, because Savinho mostly plays as a right winger, and we already signed one of those guys in Mohammed Kudus. Savinho CAN play centrally and he did it a bit at City last season, and lord knows we need someone who can play the 10 role this season, so maybe he gets added to the 10 rotation should he sign. That said, if you’re a club like Tottenham and you are given the opportunity to sign Savinho, you do it and figure out how he fits later.

Maybe that means a potential exit, someone like Wilson Odobert or Brennan Johnson? One thing Spurs certainly aren’t short of are wide players. Or maybe we just let everybody fight and let the chips fall where they may.

I would very much enjoy watching Savinho play football for Tottenham Hotspur. The irony here is that, after sacking Ange Postecogolou after last season, by signing Savinho we’d finally have the dribbly wingers he asked for but never really had during his tenure. I can almost hear him cursing.

I have no idea what Savinho would cost to get out of Manchester City. They signed him from Girona for £30.8m last summer and you’d think he’d now cost significantly more, maybe double. But what we do know is that Spurs have at least £65m to spend (probably significantly more) plus the £20m from Son’s sale and any future sales. I don’t know if this rumor makes any sense, but holy smokes y’all, I’m HERE for it. Come on Silly Season.

Tottenham Hotspur may still be working on getting new faces into the first team, but they’re doing a hell of a job getting their young talent out on good loans. The latest comes out of Germany and Croatia, and says that Tottenham’s towering 18-year-old Croatian central defender Luka Vuskovic has been given the “green light” to join Hamburg SV on a “dry” loan until the end of the season.

I know there are a lot of Spurs fans who are puzzled by why Vuskovic is heading out on loan at all, when he looked incredible on loan in Belgium last season and impressive when playing preseason matches with Spurs. If you accept the premise that Vuskovic is a player with an immense ceiling who might not quite be ready for Champions League and Premier League football, but would probably be already among the better defenders in the Championship, then a loan to a bottom-half Bundesliga club is pretty much an ideal destination for him.

Germany is a top tier league. Hamburg is a pretty bad team, finishing 2nd in the 2. Bundesliga and promoting back to the top flight this season. That’s a pretty enticing recipe for a player like Vuskovic, who will get the biggest challenge of his career up to this point and should get plenty of first team minutes. He’ll get to play against some of the best players in world football a couple of times next season when Hamburg play Bayern Munich, Dortmund, and Bayer Leverkusen, and will also play a bunch more teams that probably aren’t significantly better than Hamburg. If he can succeed as a defender in the Bundesliga next season, I will have no problems at all believing that he’s ready to be the next Dean Huijsen in the Premier League.

As good as he is now and as high as his ceiling probably is, making him Tottenham’s 4th/5th CB and relegating him to spot or cup minutes probably won’t do him as much good as playing every week in the Bundesliga. I like this loan a LOT and think it will be better for Vuskovic’s development than sticking around.

It’s pretty clear that Bryan Gil’s Tottenham Hotspur career never got off the ground. The club has been actively trying to ship him out to any place that would have him for the past 2-3 seasons. Maybe this time it will stick? According to an Italian language report in Corriere dello Sport, we have Fabio Paratici to thank for what could be Bryan’s latest, and hopefully last, move away from Spurs.

The report states that Don Fabio personally negotiated a deal in principle with Bologna in Serie A for an initial loan for Bryan with an option to purchase that will turn into an obligation if certain conditions are met. The sticking point are wages — Gil’s only on £33k/wk which is stupid cheap for a Premier League player, but even that’s apparently a little too rich for Bologna’s structure. Corriere dello Sport also says that a representative from Bologna is currently remaining in London to assess Gil and make sure he’s fully healed from a knee injury he sustained while on loan at Girona last season.

But just in case you thought this was too easy, the report also says Bologna is also working on another deal that could take priority over Gil, but they’re keeping the name of that player under wraps.

The Italian media is anything but reliable, but I’ve seen rumors of Paratici negotiating with Bologna for Gil from a number of different sources, so I’d guess that at minimum there’s a nugget or two of truth in here. You may recall that last summer Tottenham extended Gil’s contract at the club as a bet that he’d do well enough to earn a better transfer fee this summer. So far that hasn’t panned out, but there’s always the hope, right?

At this point there’s no way that Spurs are ever going to get their money back on Gil, whom they bought from Sevilla in 2021 for £21.6m plus Erik Lamela. It’s turning out to be among the worse transfers Spurs have made in recent years. I’d guess right now they’d just settle for getting him off their books, however that happens. Maybe a loan-to-buy to Bologna with easy escalators is the ticket to finally doing that. Here’s hoping.

Tottenham Hotspur were dismantled by Bayern Munich as the German side scored four goals at a jubilant Allianz Arena in a performance that will have provided more questions than answers for both Spurs fans and management.

Harry Kane, as is his wont, opened the scoring for Bayern with a classic touch-then-finish goal. Though he was offside, the flag wasn’t raised, and from there Spurs were on the back foot. Kingsley Coman added to the tally, cutting inside on his left and unleashing a brilliant curling finish from the top of the box, before teenager Lennart Karl scored a third in a similar manner, instead striking first time as he was teed up. Jonah Kusi-Asare finished things off, the ball falling to him following a bit of a melee in the penalty area, before he finished from an almost impossible angle wide on the left.

Here are my top ten talking points from Spurs’ loss against Bayern Munich.

Thomas Frank started a very strong side against Bayern, in an indication of what we might see at the start of the Premier League season (and possibly in the UEFA Super Cup). Despite a strong preseason from Wilson Odobert, and encouraging signs from the likes of Mathys Tel and Lucas Bergvall, Brennan Johnson was preferred on the wing (though once more on the left, opposite Mohamed Kudus) with a midfield trio of Joao Palhinha, Pape Matar Sarr, and Rodrigo Bentancur. The remaining members of the XI largely picked themselves, but it will be interesting to see if Franks makes any changes for PSG.

Spurs have struggled for creativity around the attacking third this preseason, but against Bayern they struggled to even progress into the middle third. Frank seemed to set the side up initially with a single pivot in the middle, held by new signing Joao Palhinha, with Rodrigo Bentancur slightly more advanced and Sarr at the “#10”. Palhinha struggled in this role, finding space to receive the ball from the center backs and Guglielmo Vicario on only a handful of occasions, before Frank resorted to pulling him from that role and switching him with Bentancur. Things improved slightly from there, but Spurs’ best route out was still to ping a long ball at Kudus and hope it stuck. Palhinha was pulled at half-time, struggling with the pace of the match following a limited preseason in Germany.

If that is the standard of refereeing in the Bundesliga, it’s no wonder Bayern Munich cruise to titles so often. You don’t really like to complain about refereeing too much in preseason, but the officiating was so poor, numerous members of the Spurs XI approached the referees at half-time, remonstrating and questioning. Kane was clearly offside on the first goal, and Luis Diaz clearly dived under the attention of Palhinha to win a penalty - and those were only the most high-profile calls the referees got wrong. Say what you like about VAR, but it ensures those kinds of calls generally do not stand.

You could summarize the prior two points like so. Any time Spurs looked to break or were semi-dangerous in build-up, a Bayern player would cynically foul to prevent further play. It clearly rattled Spurs, and though you don’t generally see cautions for that type of play in preseason, it would’ve been nice just for the flow of the game to nip that in the bud. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, and Spurs continued to battle to move the ball up the pitch.

Look, his goal was offside, but did anybody else have flashbacks when the England captain hit the back of the net? The former Spurs striker turned a hopeful chipped ball into a scoring opportunity with a classy first touch that sent Micky van de Ven the wrong way, before sweeping home with his second. It was a moment of quality that Spurs have missed in front of goal as of late.

Speaking of strikers, is anybody else getting more and more worried about Dominic Solanke? The forward has now missed the majority of preseason with what was supposed to be a brief absence, and I am starting to worry that his injury is worse than first thought. Frank has said on a number of occasions that Solanke is close, but that was also the narrative three matches ago; so is the striker position also a depth problem now for Spurs?

The scoreline doesn’t reflect how well Vicario played, making a number of key saves. With his place arguably under some threat from Antonin Kinsky, Vicario put his shot-stopping skill on display, with several last-ditch interventions, not least a brilliant kick save on Harry Kane with the striker through on goal. Vicario embraced Kane after the attempt, but Kane could only shake his head in disbelief.

The thing is, Spurs weren’t that bad defensively. Even though Bayern had control, in the first half especially Spurs looked reasonably solid and composed. Unfortunately, quality players can score quality goals, and it was these moments of quality that undid Spurs. Kane’s goal aside, each of Bayern’s goals were phenomenal strikes that on any other day could have gone wide or deflected away; but sometimes ball just go goal. Even the teenagers got in on the act.

The lack of youth team involvement has been notable in the second half of preseason. Though Thomas Frank is known for working with young players, he clearly doesn’t think the majority of Spurs’ young players coming through the ranks are quite ready, with new center back Luka Vuskovic a similar story. That’s disappointing, as I had hoped a couple of players would be able to make the jump this season; but at least most of the players in the frame have managed to secure loans.

It’s worrying how quiet things have become in the transfer market for Tottenham Hotspur. Though the summer started with a hiss and a roar, creativity has been a known need for some time, only exacerbated by the loss of James Maddison to an ACL injury. That lack of creativity (and quality) was on display for all to see today, with Spurs completely at sea against a strong opponent. Johan Lange needs to move, and move quickly for Spurs to have any chance of competing in the four competitions they will be involved in this season.

I dunno guys, I’m not sure I can declare we are winning the league after this performance.