Cartilage Free Captain

No need to belabor this one, but it IS transfer news! Tottenham Hotspur have announced that 21-year-old keeper and Spurs academy graduate Luca Gunter is heading out on loan to Boreham Wood FC for the season.

Boreham Wood might sound like the fictional setting for a light fantasy novel featuring anthropomorphized forest creatures, but it’s actually a football club in the fifth tier of the English pyramid. It’s not the first time Gunter’s been loaned to the National League — he spent the 2024/25 season on loan at Wealdstone and is now heading back there.

Honestly it’s probably not a GREAT sign that a 21-year-old keeper is heading to the fifth tier to get first team football. It certainly suggests that we’re unlikely to see him suiting up in a Spurs kit for the first team anytime soon, and probably not at all. As I’ve said countless times on here, that’s fine — you don’t have to crack the first team to have a successful professional career. My guess is that we’ll probably eventually sell Gunter to a League 2 club for half a million pounds or so, possibly less, and he’ll go on to make his name in the lower leagues. No issues with that at all.

In the meantime, he’ll get valuable experience at Boreham Wood, so long as he manages to avoid the hidden snares set by the League of Badgers in the hollow just over the woodland wall. Darned badgers! Always causing mischief!

”It took a little while to get done. We had a kind of agreement with Newcastle, and we were talking every day until we finally got it over the line. They wanted the best outcome for me, and we wanted the best deal for them. We parted on great terms, everyone’s happy, and I’m ready for this new adventure.

Why Tottenham? [Roberto] De Zerbi played a huge part in my decision. It’s also a life and family choice after three years in Newcastle. De Zerbi deserves a lot of the credit—not just because we’re both from Brescia and friends, but because he’s an incredible professional who worked really hard to make this happen.

“We’ll take it one step at a time: first the medical, then the contract, and after that we’ll head off for preseason training. The squad won’t really come together for another month because the World Cup is on right now. The club is coming off a difficult season, but we’ll do everything we can to turn things around and make it a positive one.”

Weirdly, one of the first questions fans ask after a new signing joins the club is “What number will he wear?” And usually it’s a good question. Tottenham rarely announces kit numbers in the summer because of the constant churn of players coming in and out, and their own number preferences. The #9 kit is currently occupied by Richarlison, for example. Will it remain his, or will he be sold this summer, opening up that number for someone else, or someone new? It’s why Spurs don’t confirm kit numbers until just before the start of the new season (and why you should always wait to buy a numbered kit online until those are confirmed).

Some players however are particularly attached to a certain number and that’s the case with Spurs’ newest signing Mateus Fernandes, who preferred #18, the kit he wore at his two previous clubs, Sporting and West Ham. The problem is — that number is already taken, by Spurs’ young Korean forward Yang Min-hyeok.

According to Football.London’s Alasdair Gold, however, Fernandes will nonetheless wear kit #18 next season at Spurs, after asking Min-hyeok if he was willing to give up the number so Fernandes could have it. Now, I don’t know if Min-hyeok was asked to give up his kit number or ASKED to give up his kit number (if you know what I mean). But if there’s a hierarchy of players, Fernandes is certainly on a higher rung, being Tottenham’s record transfer signing (at least until Sandro Tonali is announced). Yang is likely going to head back out on loan this coming season, and who knows what number he’ll be assigned at his loan club? Giving up #18 is likely a given, and who wouldn’t want to wear the former number of Harry Kane, Jermain Defoe, Jurgen Klinsmann, and Fernando Llorente? And anyway, Gold points out that Yang likes #47, which he wore when he was playing in Korea.

This morning we got the official announcement that Tottenham Hotspur has purchased West Ham midfielder Mateus Fernandes for £85m. Yesterday came the announcement from various news sources that Spurs have agreed to purchase Sandro Tonali from Newcastle United for £92.5m. That’s a lot of spending.

So what’s next? Well, according to The Independent’s Miguel Delaney, Spurs are turning their attention to the offense, and specifically Bournemouth striker Eli Junior Kroupi.

Don’t know Kroupi? Get to know him, because he could be real, real good. The French teenager, in his first season in the Premier League, scored 13 goals for Bournemouth in just over 1600 minutes. That’s a year AFTER he scored 22 goals in Ligue 2 for Lorient, leading them to the Ligue 2 championship and a promotion back to the top flight. He’s already being tipped as a potential new star for the France national team, though he hasn’t yet been capped for the senior squad.

But as far as talent goes, Kroupi has it in buckets. At Bournemouth, he split his time between left sided attacking midfielder and striker, which is his natural position. It’s not clear where Tottenham would view his position, but that versatility would serve him well under Roberto De Zerbi.

Delaney says Kroupi is the top name on a three person shortlist of attackers that also includes Savinho and AC Milan. That right there is something of a weird distinction, because I’m not sure why you would classify Kroupi as an attacker and not just as a striker. But if De Zerbi thinks that he’d operate in the left attacker position and be our new goal scoring deep lying attacker, then hey. But it does feel a bit weird grouping him in with Savinho and Leao.

Delaney also says that Bournemouth could ask for as much as £80m to sign Kroupi; it’s not clear whether that would rule out the possibility of also signing Savinho or Leao. Savinho has been the subject of Spurs’ long term attention after having nearly signed him a year ago from Manchester City before City pulled the plug and he signed a new contract, and various sources have hinted that Spurs were working to sign him again as recent as a few weeks ago.

Eli Junior Kroupi is a hell of a player, Premier League tested, and only 19. He’d be a VERY exciting addition to this new-look Tottenham Hotspur team and is worth every penny of that £80m valuation. Having already revamped the defense and overhauled the midfield, Spurs are now turning their focus to the front, and Junior Kroupi would be a fantastic addition. If money isn’t real to Tottenham this summer (and by all accounts that sure seems to be the case) then I’m all for it. Go get him.

Though World Cup years tend to slow transfer business down, that hasn’t stopped Spurs, who have added yet another new signing to their ranks in the form of Portuguese midfielder Mateus Fernandes:

The talented midfielder, joining from relegated West Ham United, was one of the lone bright sparks in the Hammers’ dismal season, and is the fifth(!) signing from another English club (with the caveat that Dubravka, Senesi, and Robertson were free agents).

Spurs were clearly in need of reinforcement after their likewise poor season in 25/26, and Fernandes is a really exciting step towards a brighter future. He is excellent on the ball, press resistant, able to cover ground, and with a great engine - but most importantly, he can PASS. That is a skill that Spurs have been desperately in need of for some time now, and Fernandes is a step towards plugging that gap in the squad.

That said, don’t expect Fernandes to be the second coming of Luka Modric; at least, not yet. He is still young and raw, with some rough edges to his game. In fact, it could be said that this is in some ways an overpay, especially given West Ham were under some pressure to sell following their relegation; but that youth and rawness also means he brings excitement, and an opportunity to be shaped and molded into something even more special.

Fernandes is thrilled about the move as well, specifically calling out Roberto De Zerbi as part of his motivation to sign with the Lilywhites:

I’m very excited for this next step. Spurs is a massive club and the Head Coach was a key part of why I have decided to join. When we spoke, it was very special. We look at football in the same way - going onto the pitch as a strong team, with fight and energy, to try and win every game. I can’t wait to get started, to meet the fans, to meet everyone, and give everything for the Club.

Well, this turned out to be an eventful day after all. David Ornstein, writing for the Athletic, is now confirming that Tottenham Hotspur and Newcastle United have agreed a fee for the transfer of Sandro Tonali in the amount of £92.5m, with an additional £7.5m in performance-based add-ons. This is far and away Tottenham’s record transfer fee.

I… I just… wow. Just wow. Sandro Tonali is a very good footballer but at fee is just so incredibly large. Comically big. Massive. Huge fee. I’m actually finding it hard to wrap my brain around it.

None of this really changes my opinion about this transfer. Sandro Tonali is a very good footballer, and he raises the floor of Spurs’ ability significantly. That’s unquestionably true. Is he good enough to warrant, if all conditions are met, £100m? Boy, I really really do not think so.

So on the one hand this is Tottenham showing AMBITION and FINANCIAL STRENGTH and all that jazz. It feels weird to think about Tottenham Hotspur spending this much money on ANYONE, much less a single foreign peak-age player. On the other hand, that is just so much money for a player who is basically an improved version of the midfielder profile we already have at the club. Is he that much better than, say, Rodrigo Bentancur? I have no answers. Maybe he is! I don’t think I wanted my club to spend this much money to find out.

And honestly, a midfield of Mateus Fernandes - Tonali - James Maddison could be fun as shit. This is definitely a statement of intent by Tottenham, but Tonali is also a player who is inextricably tied to Roberto De Zerbi. I wonder what might happen in a year and a half if De Zerbi decides to move on. I also wonder how this kind of outlay will affect other potential transfers, including that of Savinho which has been in limbo for a few weeks now. And ultimately — it’s not my money!

At any rate, this is a thing now. Tonali will join Fernandes and the other five players Spurs have already signed, and Newcastle get a Brinks truck full of cash. Is that good? I guess we’re going to find out!

Uhhhhh this was not the bomba I was expecting today. According to Fabrizio Romano, Tottenham Hotspur has reached an agreement with Brighton & Hove Albion for the sale of Croatian central defender Luka Vuskovic for more than £46m.

OK, so this is basically my feelings on this matter:

If you saw Fabrizio Romano’s ambiguous and weird tweet on this matter, hopefully this is a little more clear. £46m+£4m, with a 20% sell-on clause AND matching rights is… honestly a defensible move. When the links with Brighton first came available I was steadfastly against this, but now my feelings are a bit more nuanced. We did get a decent look at Vuskovic for Croatia in the World Cup, and while he looked somewhat cromulent, it did result in some big questions about his speed and movement, and how effective that will be in the Premier League. Those concerns are real and not something to ignore — he’s obviously an extremely talented defender, but not every extremely talented defender is going to be a good fit for the speed of the Premier League.

On the one hand — I do not like this idea of selling exceptional talent early, especially what could be a generational defensive talent, before he even has the opportunity to play a single match for our club. I do think Vuskovic could end up being a very good defender for someone, even if it’s not us.

On the flip side — it’s clear that the club and Roberto De Zerbi have higher priorities than giving match minutes to a 19 year old kid, no matter how much he crushed it on a bottom half Bundesliga team on loan last season. Vuskovic has also made it clear he wants to be at a club that will play him, and right now he’s probably 5th/6th on the pecking order for the foreseeable future. It’s also clear he doesn’t want another loan. Brighton are in a position to offer Vuskovic regular starting minutes in the Premier League, and we’ll find out pretty soon if he sinks or swims.

Tottenham purchased Vuskovic as a 16 year old kid from Croatia for £12m in 2023. If Ornstein’s reporting is correct, we’re getting about a 450% return on our investment, PLUS a sell-on fee AND matching rights, which would allow us to match any future offer for Vuskovic, and that matching offer would supersede anything else. That’s a pretty remarkable transfer.

You can say what you want about Tottenham’s decision-making vs. Brighton’s. Brighton have a track record of recruiting talented young players and actually developing them into studs. I have my issues with Tottenham’s decision-making right now, obviously. However, I don’t think this is necessarily a stupid move, especially if Spurs internally have concerns about Vuskovic’s fit.

Financially, this is a pretty great deal. We’re going to have to wait a while to find out whether it’s a good move on the footballing side.

It’s the new fiscal year as of today, so we’re about to get inundated with Tottenham Hotspur transfer news and impending deals, right? That’s what I was told, and the Internet Dot Com doesn’t lie! Anyway, here’s the first rumor: according to Fabrizio Romano Newcastle United has had an offer for Tottenham’s Archie Gray rejected by the club, with Spurs adamant that he is not for sale.

First, good. Archie isn’t fully baked yet but I think it’d be silly to let him go at this point considering all the work we’ve already put into him. But second, I really hope this isn’t part of the Sandro Tonali negotiations. Giving Newcastle a young potential English club-trained and homegrown star in part-exchange for a foreign peak-age player who is overpriced and coveted by a manager who might not be here in 18 months doesn’t seem like a very smart plan. But that’s just me.

Anyway, this is mostly a story about something that didn’t actually happen so I don’t think we need to look too deeply into the specifics. Newcastle made an offer for one of our young talents. We said no. End of story. Now, where’s my Fiscal Year Bomba?

good morning everyone - fitzie is BACK!!!

And hopefully I’m back for a good while. I do miss hoddling. And I feel like I’ve missed so much! I’d like to give a big thanks to menno for hoddling in my absence these last few weeks, and I’d also like to thank all of you for being patience while fitzie was tending to other matters.

I’m keeping this hoddle relatively straightforward because there are two huge games today: England vs DR Congo and the USA vs Bosnia and Herzegovina (Belgium vs Senegal is also happening).

There’ll be a separate World Cup thread on the above-listed matches so I won’t get into it.

But I will remind myself of one of my New Year Resolutions: To keep the Track of the Day playlist regularly updated. With all my travels I have missed a good few weeks, so I’ll be spending the next handful of days adding to it and getting this back for you all by next week.

And I’m going to make a little treat out of it. When I was on the aeroplane heading to Dallas, I listened to the Track of the Day playlist and Vampire Empire by Big Thief played. “What a track!,” I said to myself. I couldn’t believe how long it’s been since I listened to it.

Is it right for the hoddle of coffee to recognise a track once and only once? I don’t think so!

That’s why next week will feature five separate Track of the Day Revisiteds, where the hoddler-in-chief (fitzie) will reshare a particular song that he (again, fitzie) wants to feature here again. I don’t have anything planned so far, but I’m looking forward to it!

Anyways, enjoy the footy today and we’ll gradually ease back into daily hoddling.

Fitzie’s track of the day: House Tour, by Sabrina Carpenter

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Tottenham’s Mateus Fernandes coup is a big-club move. At last, they are serious”

BBC: “Defying logic - how Haaland could end up with 260 international goals”

The Guardian: “Forest Green Rovers scrap women’s team to ‘concentrate resources’ on men’s side”

We knew it was unlikely that Maika Hamano would be allowed to stay at Tottenham Hotspur Women beyond her loan spell, and now the club have confirmed she’s on her way back to Chelsea.

Hamano was brought in for attacking firepower after Jess Naz’s December ACL injury, but that’s not to say she was just some kind of backup. She has real superstar potential, and I’m disappointed we won’t get to realize that at Tottenham. Hamano played ten games for us and registered a goal and an assist. She missed a few games while she was away winning the Asian Cup with Japan along with our favorite centerback, Tōko Koga. I’ll miss seeing them do joint media with the club almost as much as I’ll miss Maika’s trickery.

It’s clear Martin Ho will miss Hamano’s impact as well. “Thank you for everything over the last six months,” Ho said in an Instagram story. “Your quality on the pitch has been clear, but the person you are every day has had just as big an impact. Your humility, standards, professionalism and energy have been unbelievable for our environment and our team. It has been a real pleasure to work with you. Wishing you nothing but success back at Chelsea, you’ll always have people here supporting you.”

Maika had just as many nice things to say about Spurs. “Thank you for everything,” she wrote. “Grateful for the opportunity to represent Tottenham on loan. Thank you to my amazing manager, the coaching staff, everyone behind the scenes, my teammates, and the lifelong friends I’ve made :) I’ll never forget this chapter. Wishing you all the very best for the future.”

All that said, I can’t say I’m not pleased to see some thinning out in the center of the pitch. Maika is, like many of our players, more comfortable in the center of the pitch even though she can be deployed on the wings. I’m not too sure the players we’ve brought in in attack really have any more wide threat, but we’ve got a long way to go until the season starts back up so I remain hopeful. In any case, we’ve brought in a lot of fresh talent that will hopefully fill the Maika-shaped hole in our hearts.

Spurs also announced, along with the news about Maika, that Anna Csiki and Martha Thomas had returned from their loans at AS Roma and Liverpool respectively. Anna won Serie A Women with Roma, featuring in eight matches and grabbing one assist. Martha had a decent season for Liverpool, helping them climb out of the bottom of the table with a goal in the league (and a goal and an assist in the FA cup). I don’t imagine there’s much of a place for either player at Spurs right now, so stay tuned to find out where they might head off to next.