Cartilage Free Captain

Good morning everyone -

For those of you not in the know, The Rolling Stones are releasing a new album. Yes, a new album with Mick Jagger at age 85.

The new album will be titled Foreign Tongues and feature some of the ugliest album artwork I’ve seen (and probably the worst released by this band.)

The release date: 10 July, which means plenty of opportunities for the Hoddle of Coffee to feature the album’s singles.

Two of those singles were released this week: In The Stars and Rough And Twisted.

I have differing views of these two. The first, which feels like a Jagger song, is okay. It mainly suffers from the overproduction that bogged down the band’s previous release, Hackney Diamonds. But the second, the rougher and rowdier Rough and Twisted has Keith Richards written all over it and feels truer to the Stones’ blues roots.

This album, like the one before, also features its own contributing lineup. Paul McCartney is again a part of it, while Steve Winwood, Chad Smith, and The Cure’s Robert Smith will also have cameos. And it was also today I learnt that Smith and Jagger had never met before they bumped into each other at the recording studio.

Here’s Jagger retelling the story during Tuesdays’ event that was hosted by Conan O’Brien:

I’m curious to see how all these collaborations will work. Is this just for the name, or is there thought behind their contributions? I think that worked to mixed success in Hackney Diamonds, where Lady Gaga delivered a strong performance in Sweet Sounds of Heaven.

Still, my biggest concern remains Andrew Watts as the producer. The first two songs released by the Stones feel like the album goodfall into “good not great” territory, but we’ll see. It’s The Rolling Stones, after all, so I’ll be buing the album anyways and cannot wait to listen.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Rough And Twisted, by The Rolling Stones

And now for your links:

BBC: “From ego-ridden team to complete package - why PSG pose ultimate test”

Billboard: The Rolling Stones Kick Off ‘Foreign Tongues’ Era In Brooklyn With Conan O’Brien: ‘This Is the Gig of a Lifetime’“

Good morning everyone- fitzie is BACK! Before we get into the hoddle proper, I’d like to thank Menno and Matty for steering the ship in my absence. I’ll get round to updating the Track of the Day playlist soon.

——

We return to the hoddle proper with an old favourite - Trending Up / Trending Down, where your hoddler-in-chief takes a look at all things Tottenham and who (or what) is Trending Up, and what’s Trending Down. Without furher ado, let’s get started:

Trending Up:

Antonin Kinksy: I’m pretty sure it was only a few months ago where Kinsky featured in the “Trending Down” portion of this feature after his horrendous showing against Atletico Madrid. At the time I thought he played his last game for Spurs. I was wrong, and he’s done very well since filling in for Guglielmo Vicario.

Connor Gallagher: I still think his contract is ridiculous, but he’s been showing some improved performances since Roberto de Zerbi came to town (even though the sample size is still small). He cemented his place in Trending Up after scoring the first goal for Spurs this past weekend.

Kevin Danso: Danso’s been a reliable centerback since coming in these last few weeks. I don’t miss Cristian Romero as I thought I would, and I think that is mostly due to the solid if unspectacular displays we’re seeing from Big K.

Roberto De Zerbi: He’s done what Thomas Frank and Igor Tudor both failed to do in 2026 - get a Spurs win. They’ve now won two straight (and claimed six points of their last seven). It’s a huge boost for the club right before three crucial games. Can he get them over the line?

Trending Down:

Xavi Simons and Dominic Solanke: These two players have the misfortune of joining this list after their most recent injuries. Simons is done for the season. Solanke looks likely to miss the remaining games as well, but we’ll find out more this week.

Players to fill the bench: And because of that, there are fewer and fewer players to sit on the Tottenham bench. The list has dwindled so much (and perhaps the “vibes” play into this also), that James Maddison, still injured, has been on bench duty to ostensibly help lift morale. It seems to be working though.

Days until the end of the season: There are only three games to go. Spurs hold a one-point advantage over West Ham in the survival race. It’s kind of scary to think that we’ll learn Tottenham’s fate in no fewer than 18 days’ time. First is a huge match against a resurgent Leeds, then it’s a trip to Stamford Bridge (which I don’t think any of us are excited about). And, finally, the season closer at home against Everton.

Fitzie’s track of the day: SWEET LOVE, by Stephen Sanchez

And now for your links:

Jack P-B ($$): “Roberto De Zerbi deserves immense credit for removing Tottenham’s mental block”

Alasdair Gold: “Luka Vuskovic returns and Tottenham wonderkid wanted by Championship club”

BBC: “Everton fan arrested for alleged Semenyo racist abuse”

The Guardian: “David Squires on … an unexpected cameo amid all the Premier League drama”

The Telegraph: “Arsenal beat Atletico to reach their first Champions League final in 20 years”

Hi, Hoddlers! Did you enjoy your Star Wars Day yesterday? Well, it turns out there was another reason to celebrate yesterday (and no, I’m not talking about the anniversary of the Kent State University massacre).

A number of years ago I fell down a jazz hole, and it’s one I have yet to crawl out of because I like it in this hole. I know Dave Brubeck gets scoffed at quite a bit by jazzheads — Brubeck himself is a genius and his partner Paul Desmond were wildly popular… but on the west coast, and mostly among white jazz fans. His music is undoubtedly catchy and fun, but it had (and still has in some circles) the reputation of being “safe” jazz, math music for nice white people, “cool jazz”. Like others in his era (it WAS the 1950s) some of his music choices skewed awfully close to the, uh uncomfortable, especially his jazz inspired by Japanese music and culture.

There was definitely a distinction between what Brubeck and guys like Chet Baker, Gerry Mulligan, Art Pepper, and others were doingout west compared to the grittier, sometimes nastier bebop on the east coast by players like John Coltrane, Miles Davis, and others (though there was a hardcore hardbob school in California too). Not that’s BAD. Far from it. And while I gravitate towards the East Coast school I do love me some cool jazz, especially Brubeck. So a day after his Day, let’s give Dave and Paul a little love.

Song of the Day: “Indiana” by Dave Brubeck Quartet

Your Tottenham Hotspur links of the Day

The vibes are good again, so why not keep them going? Today the Scottish Premier League began revealing end of season awards, and there’s good news — Mikey Moore, who has spent the season on loan at Rangers, has won the SPL Young Player of the Year award!

Moore has made 28 league appearances for Rangers and has scored six goals and tallied three assists. He’s been a little in and out of the side, but has definitely established himself as a player able to play top level football (in Scotland). He’s made 43 appearances in all competitions with a npXG of 4.53, meaning he’s slightly overachieved in scoring this season. Moore nabbed the award ahead of Dundee defender Luke Graham, Falkirk striker Barney Stewart and Aberdeen midfielder Findlay Marshall.

That is not at all shabby for an 18 year old kid having his first taste of first team football. It’s probably wise for us not to get too far out over our skis on Mikey — he’s barely an adult, has had some growing pains at Rangers this season, and there’s a massive gap between the level of Scottish Premier League football and English Premier League football. Anyone who thinks he’s going to waltz into the first team and start dominating next season (assuming Spurs stay up) is probably going to be disappointed.

I don’t know what Spurs’ plans are for Moore next season. That said, he’d probably cook in the Championship, or at least cook more than he would in the top flight, and I can definitely see him getting a high level Champo loan if (inshallah) Spurs are able to stay in the Premier League by the end of the season, and depending on his offseason he might be able to carve out a reserve role in next year’s first team. Mikey’s definitely a talent, though, and he’s shown that this season at ‘Gers.

Kia ora to everyone wherever they are - Matty Flatt here, and apologies for this late Hoddle. It’s late because 1) I forgot Fitzie was going away, and 2) by the time I remembered I was on my way to see Split Enz in concert.

Now I’m back from said concert and I am writing this!

Seeing Split Enz play live was an actual, bonafide dream come true. Growing up as a young child through the 90’s, while my friends were into boy bands (okay, okay, I loved the Backstreet Boys, don’t @ me) I was really digging this crazy Kiwi new wave band. I could not tell you why six-year-old Matty was obsessed with a band that had their heyday through the latter part of the 70’s and early part of the 80’s… I just was. I was a bit of a weird kid.

I would listen to their greatest hits compilation, Spellbound, back to back, and one of my earliest memories of playing guitar was me sitting down next to the stereo with my beat up old nylon string, trying to work out the vocal melodies by ear. One of my most precious possessions is actually that copy of Spellbound, which my uncle “stole” for a bit - it turns out he went to university with a relation of the Finn brothers who were a big part of the genius at the core of the band, and he got that friend of his to have it signed for me for a Christmas present: “To Matthew, our #1 fan” - signed Tim & Neil Finn, 25/12/97.

Split Enz were probably the first Kiwi band with any real international success, having a cult following in the UK and Canada. They had obviously long broken up by the time I was of concert-going age, with some of the members going on to solo careers, others to other bands (such as the very successful Crowded House); but I always dreamed of seeing them live. It was something I never thought possible.

And today it did! It was such incredible fun; Tim Finn’s voice is a little older now, and they’re all a little slower - but they still bring this madcap energy to everything they do. The crowd in the arena was raucous and I’m so grateful I got to experience it!

Do you have any bucket list concerts that you thought would never happen but did? What about weird bands you were into in your childhood?

Matty Flatt’s track of the day: Message To My Girl, by Split Enz

And now for your links:

Jack Pitt-Brooke, James Maw, and Kate Mason break down De Zerbi’s impact at Spurs on The Athletic’s podcast

Since we’ve given up on doing them this season, here’s Alasdair Gold’s player ratings from the win against Aston Villa

The Athletic ($$$) break down the Premier League title race

Tottenham Hotspur fans have waited a long time for a promising — dare I say GOOD — performance from their team. They got one today. Against a heavily rotated Aston Villa team clearly prioritizing the Europa League semi-final second leg, Roberto De Zerbi and Spurs took Villa to the woodshed in the late game on Sunday. Spurs got first half goals from Conor Gallagher — his first in lilywhite — and Richarlison, locked down on defense, and never let Villa anywhere near goal until the very end of the game. Emiliano Buendia scored a banger for the home team in the 95th minute, but it was the only bright spot for Villa as Spurs won away 1-2.

Villa clearly had their eye on the second leg of the Europa League, as Unai Emery made six changes to the team that started their last league match. Doesn’t matter — Spurs made Villa look positively pedestrian.

The win was massive — not only was it Spurs’ second straight win after going the whole of 2026 without a league victory, but with West Ham losing 3-0 earlier in the weekend Spurs jumped a point ahead of their relegation rivals, two points behind Nottingham Forest, and out of the relegation zone with three games to play. Tottenham didn’t allow Villa a single shot in the first half and despite the late goal, this match was practically on cruise control.

Spurs controlled possession, won the vast majority of their duels, actually passed the ball pretty well, and barely let Villa have a sniff of the ball near Antonin Kinsky’s area. It was about as comprehensive a win as we’ve seen all year against any opponent, and it put Spurs’ future firmly in their own hands in the relegation battle.

Here are my match reactions.

Match reactions

My only pre-match thought was that the midfield of Palhinha-Bentancur surely meant that Spurs intended to defend and counter. Which honestly might not be a bad plan. (Spoiler: they did not do that.) This was also the first time all season that Richarlison, Tel, and Kolo Muani started a football match together.

Spurs’ early press was really well executed. And it was clear that there was a PLAN as to when to press and when to wait. That’s nice to see if nothing else.

A goal! From a long throw! And from Conor Gallagher! That was a well executed throw from Danso and exquisitely placed shot from Gallagher. A game of firsts.

We joked about DUELZ all season, but Spurs pretty much won all of their DUELZ in the first half. And players are making off-the-ball runs into space to support players getting forward with the ball. It’s… dare I say it, FUN, and a massive, massive indictment of Thomas Frank’s tactics.

WHAT A GOAL FROM RICHARLISON! Incredible cross into the box from Tel, and Richy does what he does best which is jump and head in crosses. Outstanding.

Mathys Tel had a heck of a first half. His movement, take-ons and delivery were all really promising and as good as we’ve seen from him all season. A couple of bad shots, but I’m still a Tel-liever.

Halftime stats: lol…lmao

Antonin Kinsky had almost nothing to do but his distribution out of the back was quite nice, and he also was able to switch play on a number of occasions.

In a game of what was mostly really positive and good performances, it’s strangely a little comforting to know that Randal Kolo Muani is still playing like hot ass. Taking him off for Spence was a little strange, but a good move to get him off the pitch because he was offering very little.

Finally, a Tottenham match where I have literally no complaints about the match official! It’s refreshing.

That late goal really screwed up my xG narrative (and honestly the whistle should’ve blown before that goal happened). Final xG: 0.31 - 1.03.

Roberto De Zerbi is a dickhead, but man, the guy sure can coach. I will grudgingly admit that much.

Spurs’ future is now in their hands. West Ham’s last three: home to Arsenal, at Newcastle, home to Leeds. Forest’s last three: at Chelsea, at Villa, home to Newcastle. Spurs’ last three: home to Leeds, at Chelsea, home to Everton. No easy wins anywhere, but I think I’d take Spurs’ schedule ahead of either Forest or West Ham’s.

Tottenham Hotspur finally have a win in 2026; and with West Ham’s loss to Brentford earlier in the weekend, Spurs’ chances of avoiding relegation are somehow once more within their own… boots? Their only obstacle (for this week at least): Aston Villa.

Villa and Spurs are at opposite ends of the table, with the Birmingham club in fifth. On paper, it seems a tough ask for a Spurs side that has floundered all season; but there’s some additional context to this matchup. This fixture falls between two Europa League semifinal legs, the first of which Villa lost to Nottingham Forest, and Unai Emery will therefore have one eye on that upcoming tie. That could very well mean a weakened Villa XI takes the pitch, with European success a potential priority.

Unfortunately, Spurs are already sporting a weakened squad of their own, losing even more players to injury in the win against Wolves. There is, though, a glimmer of hope, as rumors have abounded this week that James Maddison could be nearing a return to the pitch. Could he play savior in Spurs’ survival?

COYS!

Lineups

Lineups will be posted closer to kick-off.

Live Blog

How to Watch

Aston Villa vs. Tottenham Hotspur

Villa Park, Birmingham, UK

Sunday, May 3, 2026

Time: 2:00 p.m. ET, 7:00 p.m. UK

TV: USA Network, TNT Sports 1 (UK). Check international listings at livesoccertv.com

Streaming: Unavailable

Match thread rules

The match thread rules are the same as always. To any visitors coming here for the first time, welcome! We’re glad you’re here! Wipe your feet, mind the gap, and be sure to check out the other pages at this outstanding site. While you’re here, though, we have a few rules and regulations:

Absolutely no links to illegal streams. They’re bad and they get us in trouble. Violators will be warned or banned.

We have rules against “relentless negativity.” Nobody likes a Negative Nancy. Don’t knee-jerk and post outlandish or hurtful things just because you’re frustrated.

Along those lines, outright abuse of players or match officials is also not allowed. It’s fine to say “wow, that was a really bad call,” but it’s NOT okay to direct copious amounts of abuse in the direction of said official over a call you did not like.

Treat other people in the match thread the way you would want someone else to treat your grandmother. Be nice. This is a community of fans, not an un-moderated message board.

NO SPIDERS!

Finally, while we don’t have a rule against profanity, please try and keep the naughty words in check. Also, language that is sexist, racist, transphobic, or homophobic in nature will be swiftly deleted and you will be immediately banned. This is an open, supportive community.

Have fun, and COYS!

Do you feel you are poorly evaluated?

Since people can’t quite figure me out, they don’t put me in any particular category of players. Someone made a compilation of me this summer. When he was done, he said: “You’re actually a really good player.” (Laughs.) You see? You have to sit down for ninety minutes and try to analyze, to understand, why I did this or attempted that. And at the end, you make your judgment. I like to take risks. Which no longer exists in today’s football, where everyone plays it safe. People will tell me: “Your pass completion rate isn’t at the level of the great midfielders.” OK, but I have one argument: I take more risks. I’ve missed. Does that mean that technically, I’m weaker than them? I don’t know.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Do you want creative football?

But that’s exactly why I started playing football! I don’t like sitting in front of my TV saying: wow, he’s really good, and then when I’m on the pitch, not trying to do the same. I’m genuinely tired of hearing: “OK, he’s too good, he does this and that.” Then do it! We have the incredible privilege of being out there. Let’s try! I’m not saying you should attempt impossible things. But I don’t want to say: I’m not going to try because I’m afraid of failing.

Joao Palhinha kept the season alive as Tottenham Hotspur snuck past last-place Wolves, but the journey is far from over. West Ham remains two points ahead with four matches to go, and it no longer seems like even 40 points is a safe mark this year. Just getting there would require a 2-1-1 closing for Spurs, and with a trip to Stamford Bridge still looming, it essentially requires points from each of the other three fixtures.

That seems…unlikely, but survival was always going to require some luck. Sunday’s trip to Aston Villa represents the toughest remaining opponent in terms of table position, though Unai Emery’s side is dealing with the Europa League semis and questionable league form, having won just two of its last eight fixtures (both victories coming at home, however). Tottenham is not favored, but points must be earned somehow.

Match Details

Date: Sunday, May 3

Time: 2:00 pm ET, 7:00 pm UK

Location: Villa Park, Birmingham

TV: USA Network (US), TNT Sports 1 (UK)

Table: Spurs (18th, 34 pts), Villa (t-4th, 58 pts)

Spurs have had mixed results against Villa, but the recent stretch has not been kind. After a 4-1 win in November 2024 (following that impressive 4-0 trouncing the March before), it has been four straight losses in this head-to-head, including FA Cup eliminations in consecutive seasons. The reverse league fixture saw Rodrigo Bentcanur score in the opening five minutes before Villa came back to win 2-1 in North London.

Two Things to Watch

Expecting little

The first three matches under Roberto De Zerbi have done little to suggest the attack will reach his desired levels of fluidity. With three goals scored and an average xG under 1.0, it is fair to question if Spurs are simply unable to score enough to avoid relegation, even if the defense is miraculously improved (which is obviously a fantasy in itself).

Theoretically, the Villa defense is exploitable, sitting right next to Spurs in xGA this season, despite allowing the sixth-fewest actual goals. Three of the past six league opponents have found the back of the net at least three times each, though the other three contests during that stretch featured a total of two goals conceded. Most recent battles between these sides have seen modest scoring, and that feels like a safe bet again.

Much of this comes from Tottenham’s ever-dwindling list of healthy attackers. With Dominic Solanke and Xavi Simons joining the crowded infirmary, good luck finding any sort of consistent attack. Richarlison, Mathys Tel, Lucas Bergvall, and Randal Kolo Muani are just about the only options, so there are going to be a ton of longballs that hopefully yield a lucky bounce in the final third.

Weekly Intangibles Update

To recap: Opta (an imperfect source, but at least a reasonable one), has West Ham at 40.2 points, with Leeds (45.7) and Forest (44.0) safe from the fray. The Hammers’ trip to the Gtech on Saturday is massive, especially since Spurs will know their standing ahead of the trip to Villa Park. While a draw (or loss) provides an opportunity to, at least temporarily, escape the drop zone, a West Ham win gives Spurs essentially no wiggle room.

Obviously, there is no result on Saturday that lowers the importance of Tottenham’s own fixture, but the gravity of seeing West Ham up five points does not sound great. Assuming equal results against Leeds, that would mean Spurs would need to win two of its other three matches in order to match the Hammers’ theoretical 42-point tally, and since one of those is against Chelsea, suddenly Villa is basically a must win.

Thankfully the home side will not be saying the same thing. Overcoming the 1-0 deficit to Forest in the Europa semis is the primary focus now with an eight-point cushion in the Champions League places, so perhaps Emery will mercifully deploy some rotation over the weekend. Wolves did not exactly roll over last Saturday, but hey, I would much rather face teams with nothing to play for than those still in the hunt. If talent is not enough to get Tottenham over the line, maybe desperation will be.

Good morning everyone -

Saturday marks the final day in the EFL Championship regular season and there’s a tonne to play for. The relegation picture is already sorted: Oxford United, Leicester City and Sheffield Wednesday are all going down.

At the opposite end of the table, there’s everything to play for. The only certainty is that Coventry are going up. The rest? Not so much.

Ipswich Town, Millwall and Middlesbrough are fighting for the second automatic spot. Two of those clubs will fight with Southampton for seeding in the playoffs. And Wrexham, Hull City and Derby County are all fighting for the sixth spot.

Here’s a quick look at the table:

Coventry (92 Pts) (C)

Ipswich Town (81 Pts, +30 GD) (X)

Millwall (80 Pts, +13 GD) (X)

Middlesbrough (79 Pts, +25 GD) (X)

Southampton (76 Pts, +24 GD) (X)

Wrexham (70 Pts, +4 GD)

Hull (70 Pts, +3 GD)

Derby County (69 Pts, +9 GD)

Now let’s get on with your Matchday 46 viewing guide:

Wrexham vs Middlesbrough: By far the biggest game of the weekend and the one with the biggest permutations. A Wrexham winends Boro’s automatic hopes and secures the Red Dragons a playoff spot, bringing Rob and Ryan’s Premier League dreams one step closer.

Ipswich Town vs QPR: The maths here is pretty simple. Ipswich win and they’re going up. QPR are pretty bad and have lost three in a row. Ipswich Town have the second best home record in the league.

Millwall vs Oxford United: This might be a tougher game for Millwall than you’d expect. Oxford United are coming off a 4-1 win against Sheffield Wednesday even after going down, so I don’t think they’ll be pushovers. Plus recent history suggests Millwall find a way to stumble at the end of the season. Is Alex Neil’s side any different?

Preston NE vs Southampton: There could be worse ways for Southampton to end their season than with a trip to Deepdale. The best they can achieve is fourth which comes with an advantage in the playoffs, but is it worth risking injury to players?

Hull vs Norwich: This is a tough one for Hull to end the season with. Norwich sit ninth in the table and have won three of their last five. But the big question is if they’ll be “on the beach” so to speak. You can probably ask the same question for many of the clubs playing this weekend.

Derby County vs Sheffield United: Derby County have had a remarkable season and surprisingly are in the mix for the playoffs. They’ll need some help though. A point is good enough only if Wrexham and Hull both lose. A win also is only good enough if neither Wrexham nor Hull win.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Why Don’t You, by Squeeze

And now for your links:

No links today as fitzie is on holiday —