Cartilage Free Captain

Tottenham won a match! Again! And kept a clean sheet! In a match decided by a single goal! With players back from injury! In a lot of ways, this 1-0 win over Manchester United felt like the turning of a page from a dark chapter into a redemption story. Tottenham Hotspur will never reach their pre-season league goals thanks to a thin squad, a lot of injuries, and a crazy compressed fixture schedule, but they have the opportunity to win a European trophy and make their league position at least respectable, and considering the past two months... that’s an outcome I would gladly welcome.

So I mentioned this in the comments of a recent article after someone picked up on a recent Bluesky post of mine, but I’m happy to report that my post-chemotherapy scan results are back... and look positive. I still need to have them confirmed by my medical oncologist on Thursday, but my scans look clean. While nothing is certain and five years of monitoring is a long time, I feel pretty comfortable in saying that, at least for now, I have beaten Stage IV colon cancer.

I’ve never been a heavy drinker — just the occasional beer or whiskey in the evenings, mostly. And now that there’s news of a direct link between alcohol consumption and certain cancers (including colon) I’m likely to scale back my consumption even further. That said, I went voluntarily sober during chemo and surgery prep/recovery and early on in the process I told myself that if I made it through treatment I was going to get myself a bottle of “celebration booze”, something new and expensive that I haven’t had and always wanted to try.

Well, I haven’t bought it yet, but I’ve done my research and have come up with some strong possibilities. And so, why not make that a player ratings theme? After all, Spurs are undefeated since I beat cancer and long may that continue. And I figure this community will also have suggestions.

So here are my player ratings for Tottenham’s 1-0 win over Manchester United to the theme of possibilities for Dustin’s “celebration booze.” You might not agree with these selections, in which case I say: this article isn’t about you. For once, this is about me.

I’m not a huge scotch drinker — it’s a really expensive hobby — but I’ve always wanted to try these bottles because people keep telling me they’re amazing. They’re also hella expensive. So maybe this is the time to try it? Heck, you don’t beat cancer very often.

Djed Spence (Community — 4.5): Monster game. Kept Mazraoui pocketed, and still managed to be one of Spurs’ primary progressive outlets with the ball. He’s fully established now at the Premier League level and is proving to be undroppable. Still would like to see him on the right.

I’m very intrigued by the idea of an American single malt, made from 100% malted barley in the USA and recently declared an official category of booze. There are a number of distilleries entering this realm, but at least in my area they’re difficult to find. But I can find Stranahan’s and I am very, very curious about what it’s like.

Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 4.5): Welcome back, Elmo. Made a couple of excellent stops inside the first 15 minutes and continued with solid play and a command of his area that was a little absent under Kinsky. An excellent match considering it was his first since November.

I had a small glass of this once at a tequila bar several years ago and never forgot it. The taste of that añejo tequila was like nothing I had ever had or expected — floral, woody, sweet, delicious. This is a spendy bottle and maybe there are other aged tequilas out there that are better, but I can’t get that dram out of my mind and this feels like maybe a time to scratch that itch?

Kevin Danso (Community — 4.0): I like this guy. He’s solid defensively, not afraid to get stuck in, and deceptively quick. In fact I don’t think I realized how fast he is — not Van de Ven quick but plenty enough to make me feel better about him backing up Romero.

Ben Davies (Community — 4.0): Cleared a shot off the line and covered Djed Spence’s space well on the left side of the pitch. Another solid match for Gentle Ben.

Lucas Bergvall (Community — 3.5): His youth and speed meant he was able to easily bypass (and contain) Casemiro, a player nearly twice his age. Also nearly scored and his blocked effort led to Maddison’s rebound goal. I’d like him to improve his decision-making with the ball a bit, but I’m also wondering if he could develop into a six.

James Maddison (Community — 4.0): God, we missed this guy. In the right spot at the right time to tap home the rebound goal, and looked near his creative best in midfield.

Ange Postecoglou (Community — 4.0): It’s amazing what a manager can do with a few days extra rest and most of his first team available, huh?

OK, so this is the budget option — the Costco-branded single malt, available for $35 at my local warehouse store. That said, I’ve read good reviews about it, I do appreciate a good smoky Islay, and why break the bank when I don’t have to?

Pedro Perro (Community — 3.5): Pretty good. Looked to have his speed back after a couple extra days of rest and was effective getting forward. Probably a candidate for a match off vs. Ipswich (but we’ll see about that).

Pape Sarr (Community — 3.0): I worried a bit when Sarr came on for Maddison as he doesn’t have that level of creativity. But Sarr can run for days, and his runs opened things up in the midfield significantly. Pretty good performance, and he’s needed one because he hasn’t been great lately.

I love bourbon, but I feel the market is now so saturated that we’ve reached Peak Bourbon and there’s no longer any real correlation between price and quality. I can walk into any liquor store and spend $75 on any number of bourbons I’ve never heard of, and the odds of getting one that’s amazing at that price point versus one that’s just “fine” are about equal. I’ll stick to my tried and true favorites, none of which cost more than $30. (Can list them in the comments if people are curious)

Rodrigo Bentancur (Community — 3.5): I’ve bagged quite a bet on Lolo lately but in this match he was quite good, though he trailed off a bit in the second half (and picked up a knock as evident by the large ice pack on his knee).

Dejan Kulusevski (Community — 3.5): Looked a little marginalized in this match, but did seem to have a little extra pep in his step at times thanks to the extra rest. Still needs a break.

Son Heung-Min (Community — 3.0): I like him coming off the left more than playing central, so putting him beside (and behind) Tel was a good move. Better today, but still not the Son we are so used to seeing. Put a nice cross in ahead of Spurs’ goal, though

Mathys Tel (Community — 3.5): I like what I’m seeing from Tel thus far. It’s early days and he still hasn’t fully mind-melded with his teammates but he’s getting into good positions. A little yippy with the ball and hasn’t managed to strike it cleanly on a shot yet, but all in all he looks like a promising young striker.

Brennan Johnson (Community — 3.0): Nice to see him out there but his only real purpose in this one was to run at and occupy Patrick Dorgu. Still, can’t complain and at least he’s healthy again.

What better way of saying “fuck you” to cancer than by the literal cheapest beer you can find? Actually there are many better ways of saying that, and that includes not drinking cheap, bad beer at all.

No Tottenham players were as bad as actually buying Hamm’s beer.

Jack Daniels Memorial Non-Rating

I don’t think I’ve ever written about Saturday Night Live before. It’s one of those things that goes in and out of vogue, but is always around.

I have SNL to thank for my all-time favourite show 30 Rock and some of my favourite comedians, plus living legend Conan O’Brien.

SNL celebrated its 50th anniversary this weekend (in case you couldn’t tell from the dozens of adverts, documentaries, specials and the Saturday Night film that was released earlier this year).

The special is one of the strangest one-offs I’ve ever seen: A bunch of comedians, alums and celebrities with connections to the long-running programme. It felt voyeuristic at times, but still enjoyable. Anyways, here are my highlights:

Eddie Murphy wins the MVP:

No one brought the laughs like Eddie Murphy, first in his role as “Tracy Morgan” in the crowd-favourite “Black Jeopardy”. Others in the sketch included Kenan Thompson, Leslie Jones and, yes, Tracy Morgan. Of course Murphy steals the sketch with his spot-on impressions of Morgan, bringing the first two actor-breaks in the programme.

His second appearance was even more enjoyable, teaming up with Will Ferrell and Kenan in “Scared Straight”. What’s most shocking is that Eddie Murphy got the only bleep of the night, but some more suggestive things were left in.

What’s the best part of this? Murphy’s ultra-meta jokes on The Nutty Professor, Ferrell getting straight to the point on Elf, or those short shorts?

Close Encounter

Another modern-day sketch returns that’s really just a vehicle for Kate McKinnon to reprise one of her most notable characters in Collen Rafferty, the foul-mouthed middle-aged woman who describes her extraterrestrial encoutners in excruciating detail that will not pass the censors here.

Adam Driver’s got that dawg

Who is as captivating as Adam Driver, who played the straight man to Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s gag during the Q+A session? I’ll tell you what: Adam Driver dressed as a hot dog.

Adam Sandler sings SNL 50

Sandler closes the first hour of the programme with a lovely song dedicated mostly to Lorne Michaels and the first cast of SNL, including the legendary Chris Farley.

I wasn’t expecting the sweetest moment of the night coming from Sandler, but he delivered a touching song to the dozens of people who came on the show before and after him. I imagine many are his friends.

One of those mentioned towards the very end: Good ol’ Norm Macdonald.

Norm Macdonald gets his roses

Speaking of legendary, Norm Macdonald received tonnes of posthumous praise. He also got a bit of heavenly vengeance after NBC sacked him decades ago for his unrelenting jokes on OJ Simpson (one of the biggest pop culture moments in the 90s).

No one was funnier than Norm Macdonald, one of the bravest comedians in the business who stuck his nose up to executives for the sake of his craft and at the cost of his job. I’m hard pressed finding a comedian who had the timing of Macdonald, who comanded every stage he walked on whether it be on SNL, a couch on a late-night show, some third-rate red carpet event, the celeb edition of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, on the comedy circuit or chasing away advertisers on his YouTube show.

Norm Macdonald was name-checked a few times on Sunday’s show. Of course, with Sandler’s touching song. But he was also unofficially GOATed by Bill Murray during his rankings of Weekend Update hosts. Murray even delivered an OJ Simpson joke (the kind that got Norm fired), which wasn’t the first of the night. John Mulaney delivered one during the opening monologue.

Heck, even Michael Che got in on the action. And when he name-checked Macdonald, the Candian export’s still popped up on our screen with, of course, a photograph of OJ Simpson next to him.

All were fitting tributes to a comedian who is deeply missed.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Ball and Biscuit/Don’t Hurt Yourself/Jesus Is Coming Soon, by Jack White

And now for your links:

Things you love to see: “Lille’s Nabil Bentaleb scores on return from heart attack”

Alasdair Gold: “What Vicario did to Bergvall after win, Maddison’s Tel chat and Postecoglou’s clever Spence move”

Jay Harris ($$): “Tottenham look like a team again – now they must sustain it”

Tottenham Hotspur’s 1-0 win over Manchester United on Sunday wasn’t exactly champagne football, but you could absolutely see how a week’s rest and the return of five injured players affected their overall performance. Spurs secured their first win in 13 matches decided by one goal this season, and the team got important minutes for James Maddison, Wilson Odobert, Brennan Johnson, and Guglielmo Vicario.

That said, in his post-match press conference, Ange Postecoglou admitted that three of his players — Son Heung-Min, Rodrigo Bentancur, and Kevin Danso — picked up small knocks in the match. All three were substituted in the second half for Spurs.

“[Danso] got a knock on his knee. Him, Sonny and Rodri all got sort of knocks. I don’t think it is anything significant. But the beauty of it now is we can actually get them to recover instead of trying to patch them up and throw them out (onto the pitch) again midweek. I think from what I’ve heard, knocks all three of them but they should be fine.”

Tottenham certainly benefited from its returning players, which eased the burden on the healthy players and allowed Tottenham to effectively rotate and manage minutes. The end result was Tottenham’s third win over Manchester United this season, and more importantly an important milestone that indicates that Tottenham’s woes are starting to ease.

“I certainly believe there is still a hell of a lot on offer for us, this back-half of the year. Europe is the obvious one, but even in the league I think we could make inroads there. We’re not happy with where we are. It’s unacceptable that we’re in the position we are. But the circumstances have dictated that to a great extent. The circumstances will change. The guys who came back in today will improve and make us stronger. There’s still two or three more on the horizon who will also come back. I think that gives us an opportunity before long. It’s only one game, but I thought today was an important game if we were going to start that progress. Getting three points makes us think, OK, it’s starting to make an impact.

Spurs have been hit with a double-whammy over the past few months — a genuine injury crisis where as many as 12 players were unavailable due to injury, combined with a brutal match schedule in which Spurs played 2-3 matches/week for two months. Ironically, the media focus ahead of this match was on Manchester United, whose own injury crisis meant a bench entirely of teenagers for Rubin Amorim. Ange was asked about Amorim’s situation, and hilariously had a few pointed quips about United’s injury crisis compared to Tottenham’s.

“If I check my office, I don’t have any sympathy cards from other managers, so that hasn’t happened. There’s definitely a few. I could see Ruben there, players out of position, kids on the bench. Well, welcome to my world. But that’s for one game. Now do that for two months. Do that for two months. Any club. Do that for two months. I thought Man United were good today, considering all that, and we had our days when we were good, we beat Liverpool in this spell. Do that for two months.”

Spurs’ next match is a rare Saturday match against relegation threatened Ipswich Town this coming weekend, meaning a second consecutive week with only one fixtures.

I wasn’t expecting to do a Harry Kane hoddle a day after Tottenham defeated Manchester United, but here we are.

You have Menno to thank for that, who alerted your hoddler-in-chief to this song by a band called Oslo Oscillator.

There’s a lot I’d like to know. Like: Who is Oslo Oscillator? How the heck did Menno come across this song?

Those questions can wait for now because this is a lovely song and tribute to Tottenham’s greatest goalscorer.

And it’s got a nice little chorus:

Harry Kane

Is a legend of the lane

Harry Kane

A win against United and a Harry Kane song? It’s hard to find a much better start to the week than that.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Harry Kane, by Oslo Oscillator

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Tottenham’s James Maddison revels in match-winning role in response to ‘outside noise’”

Dan KP: “Tottenham fans turn on Daniel Levy as thousands gather for biggest protest yet against owners”

Football London: “Guglielmo Vicario and James Maddison Tottenham truth clear as Daniel Levy sent important message”

BBC: “Maddison does ‘talking on the pitch’ in response to critics”

Matt Law: “James Maddison hits back at Roy Keane criticism with pointed celebration”

My goodness, Tottenham Hotspur have a bonafide Premier League winning streak going after today’s 1-0 home win over Manchester United. James Maddison had the match’s only goal in the 13th minute and Spurs held on against an injury-strapped (lol) Manchester United that had numerous opportunities to score. But Spurs finally looked like a cromulent team with actual options on the bench to bring on. God, it’s been a while, huh?

It’s time to rate the players.

Rate the players from 1⁄2 to 5 stars. If the player doesn’t deserve a rating due to minutes played, DO NOT RANK. I will round the stars up/down to the nearest half-star for the player ratings later this week.

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Tottenham Hotspur Match Reports

Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 Manchester Utd.: Spurs snap one goal losing streak with their third win over United

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Tottenham Hotspur have two previous wins over United this season — once at Old Trafford and once in the League Cup. This match today at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium was tighter than either of the previous two ties, but it was another Spurs win. James Maddison scored in the 13th minute and held on for a 1-0 win over United, a win that propelled them up to 12th in the table.

Remember that injury crisis? Well a lot changed with just a week of rest. Spurs welcomed back five players to the matchday squad and two in the starting lineup, with Guglielmo Vicario donning the gloves in goal for the first time since November, and James Maddison returning to the midfield. Meanwhile, Destiny Udogie, Brennan Johnson and even (gasp) Wilson Odobert started the match on the bench, giving Ange Postecoglou with some real options in reserve for the first time in what feels like months. Lucas Bergvall also started in place of Yves Bissouma, while Ben Davies slotted into the back line beside Kevin Danso, giving Archie Gray a much needed rest.

Here are my match notes.

Match Notes

You mean when Tottenham have a few key players back from injury and a real bench then can bring on in reserve then they play better? Remarkable!

Remember what it feels like to play well and win deservedly? Yeah, it’s been a while, but Spurs did and also did.

In Spurs’ last match I thought Mathys Tel looked a little off kilter playing on the wing. Today, Ange started him centrally with Son left and he looked a lot more comfortable. Made some nice runs into space (most of which were not found) and had a couple of good shots. Seemed to have the yips in the second half but I liked what I saw.

Boy it’s nice to see Googly Elmo back between the sticks. Two early stops and an overall solid performance. As much as we bigged up Kinsky early, I think Vicario is still our clear No. 1 keeper.

Djed Spence had a MONSTER game, keeping Mazraoui in check and also gliding into space behind United’s lines. Just a really, really good match. He might be our best fullback, full stop.

That Spurs goal was just a nicely worked offensive set. A good cross to the back post by Porro, a blocked shot by Son, a Bergvall follow-up that forced a save, and a well-timed run to the back post for Maddison to tuck the ball home. Spurs looked like an actual team! It was neat!

The difference between the two teams’ midfields was striking today. Putting a (good) Rodrigo Bentancur and a mobile Lucas Bergvall against the shambling corpse of Casemiro was always likely to favor the Swede, but Bergvall and Bentancur together just passed and moved straight through the center of the pitch. I’ve bagged on Bentancur quite a bit for a few weeks now but gotta say he played well today.

Kevin Danso has some wheels. I was surprised at his speed, particularly against Zirkzee. It makes me feel better about Tottenham’s needs in the summer, regardless of what happens with Cuti Romero.

Spurs played well but United had their moments. There were extended stretches in both halves where their situational press gave Spurs some trouble, and United were able to hang onto possession and give Tottenham things to think about. It made the second half a lot nervier than you would’ve thought at halftime.

The substitution of Sarr for Maddison and Johnson for Bergvall was probably about both managing minutes of the starters and also getting BJ some time on the pitch. I worried about Spurs’ midfield passing, but shifting Deki back central helped.

Need to give some credit to Spurs’ subs — Sarr really opened things up with his running, and Odobert had some really nice moves in a limited cameo appearance. Johnson had a couple of nice runs and Bissouma filled in capably for an exhausted Bentancur.

This win was Tottenham’s first win in a match decided by one goal this season, snapping an 0-12 streak. Yes, we’d like it to have been more comfortable, but it’s nice to have THAT monkey off our backs.

The win puts Tottenham up to 12th, level on points with Crystal Palace and Everton. That feels better than 15th, doesn’t it?

And... breathe.

Feel that?

That’s what a week of rest feels like. And boy, did Tottenham Hotspur need it. It’s full steam ahead from here, though, and with some reinforcements due for Ange Postecoglou’s men thanks to recoveries from injury, he will be hoping this match can signal a renewed push for results in the tail end of the season.

Ruben Amorim will have similar hopes, with his Manchester United side floundering just above Spurs on the table. He has his own injury struggles as well, with reports emerging that he is struggling with midfield options due to multiple training injuries in midweek.

You merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, molded by it.

Will this be the new dawn of the Ange Postecoglou era we are hoping for?

COYS!

Lineups

Live Blog

How to Watch

Tottenham Hotspur vs. Manchester United

Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London, UK

Sunday, February 16, 2025

Time: 11:30 a.m. ET, 4:30 p.m. UK

TV: Not televised in US, Sky Sports Premier League (UK). Check international listings at livesoccertv.com

Streaming: Peacock

Match thread rules

The match thread rules are the same as always. To any visitors coming here for the first time, welcome! We’re glad you’re here! Wipe your feet, mind the gap, and be sure to check out the other pages at this outstanding site. While you’re here, though, we have a few rules and regulations:

Absolutely no links to illegal streams. They’re bad and they get us in trouble. Violators will be warned or banned.

We have rules against “relentless negativity.” Nobody likes a Negative Nancy. Don’t knee-jerk and post outlandish or hurtful things just because you’re frustrated.

Along those lines, outright abuse of players or match officials is also not allowed. It’s fine to say “wow, that was a really bad call,” but it’s NOT okay to direct copious amounts of abuse in the direction of said official over a call you did not like.

Treat other people in the match thread the way you would want someone else to treat your grandmother. Be nice. This is a community of fans, not an un-moderated message board.

NO SPIDERS!

Finally, while we don’t have a rule against profanity, please try and keep the naughty words in check. Also, language that is sexist, racist, transphobic, or homophobic in nature will be swiftly deleted and you will be immediately banned. This is an open, supportive community.

Have fun, and COYS!

A loss to Liverpool in the League Cup surprised no one, and an FA Cup trophy was still several rounds away, but there is no way to sugarcoat it: last week was a tough one for Ange Postecoglou and Tottenham Hotspur. As the Europa League Playoff Round continues on, the focus must now shift to the league, where Spurs remain closer to the relegation zone than the European places.

Sunday welcomes another struggling giant, Manchester United. The sides have already faced twice this season, in which Tottenham secured two of its best performances. A third victory would be highly welcomed, as the negativity surrounding North London grows louder, and three points are certainly attainable. A win this weekend may not solve everything, but a loss would add on to the frustration.

Tottenham Hotspur (14th, 27pts) vs. Manchester United (13th, 29pts)

Date: Sunday, February 16

Time: 11:30 am ET, 4:30 pm UK

Location: Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London

TV: Peacock (US), Sky Sports Main Event (UK)

After Spurs knocked them out of the League Cup, United have found success in the FA Cup, taking down Arsenal and getting past Leicester to secure a spot in the Fifth Round, and in the Europa League, finishing third in the League Phase (one point ahead of Tottenham). The Premier League, however, has been less kind, with inconsistent results; the last four matches have produced two wins and two losses.

The first league encounter saw Spurs run riot at Old Trafford, winning 3-0 with 4.4 xG against Erik ten Hag’s side. Ruben Amorim took over soon after, but his team also lost to Tottenham, this time in the League Cup Quarterfinal — a wild fixture that saw the home side nearly blow a three-goal lead before Heung-Min Son’s Olimpico proved enough to keep the trophy hopes alive at that time.

A tasty recipe

It may feel strange to say for a club that has won just one of its last eight league fixtures and is coming off two poor performances, but this does feel like a prime opportunity this weekend. United are equally struggling, and Spurs have already shown they can beat this opponent. With few meaningful matches remaining domestically, Postecoglou’s side should be motivated to take on a big six club, regardless of form.

Even away from home, do not expect Amorim to take on an overly conservative approach, as has been the case against many lower-table sides Tottenham has struggled with. Both teams will likely go for it, potentially leading to another chaotic affair like the cup tie in December. All signs point to a winnable match for Spurs, who have a chance to win consecutive league games for the first time since September (against Brentford and United, coincidentally).

Reinforced

Another reason for optimism is the likely return of several key players. Djed Spence has been a revelation, but having Destiny Udogie available, even as an option, is a huge boost. A similar sentiment applies to Guglielmo Vicario, despite solid performances from Antonin Kinsky. Perhaps most crucial are the potential returns of James Maddison and Brennan Johnson, who would provide much-needed depth to a depleted and struggling attacking corps.

United are near the bottom of the league in goals scored, but with Micky van de Ven out and ongoing defensive issues, no one is expecting a flawless defensive performance from Spurs. However, the adding in some key attacking players could be enough to secure a couple of goals, and something like a 2-1 victory feels reasonable. Neither club is having a season to remember (at least in the league), but beating United is always satisfying.

It’s been an eternity since Tottenham Hotspur last played a football match. Well, ok, it hasn’t been but it’s FELT like it. But that’s what it feels like when you play 2-3 matches a week for three months then suddenly have a “normal” match week with only one match. Tottenham host Manchester United on Sunday after a blissful week’s rest and recuperation, and thanks to a press release from the club we know that they’re set to welcome three players back to the matchday squad.

Tottenham reports that Destiny Udogie, Guglielmo Vicario, and James Maddison are all available to play against United. Three more players are close behind — Timo Werner, Brennan Johnson, and Wilson Odobert are all training on grass but weren’t deemed ready to play this week.

Head coach Ange Postecoglou gave an update on his returning players.

“Some of the lads who have been out for quite a while look like they’re in a good place now. Vic is probably the one who has come back ahead of schedule.

“He’s been training really well away from the team for two weeks. In the last 10 days he’s integrated back into the team and is fully into training, so he’s in a good place and that means he becomes available for us.”

There are still several players on the injury list including Micky van de Ven, Cuti Romero, Richarlison, Dominic Solanke, and, of course, Radu Dragusin, who is out for the rest of the season.

Tottenham kick off against Manchester United at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium at 11:30 a.m. ET / 4:30 p.m. UK on Sunday.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame released its list of nominees this week. And the list is questionable.

Now, let me get this out of the way: The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is pointless. Its opinions matter less. And whoever gets inducted is no greater than whoever is excluded. The RRHOF does some good work through its community programmes and archives, but its status as the arbiter of which artists reigns supreme is questionable at best.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s get to the nominees. It’s a smaller pool this year, reflecting how diluted the talent field is. Yet there are still no Monkees or Warren Zevon.

Longshots: Mana, Chubby Checker, Soundgarden

Two of these three make no sense. Those two are the Mexican group Mana (which I don’t think ever had a presence outside Latin America) and Chubby Checker (who only had one song, The Twist). I have no idea why these artists are here. They might get some consolation prize.

Then there’s Soundgarden, who keep getting nominated but never included. That continues this year.

Outside looking in: Bad Company, Joe Cocker, Joy Division/New Order, Phish

Lots of classic rock acts here. But who gets in? Joe Cocker, who’s become synonymous with Woodstock? Safe rock act Bad Company? Phish, who’ve never had a hit? Or synth-poppers Joy Division/New Order?

History tells us we should expect Bad Company to get in given the previous inductions of Foreigner, The Foo Fighters, The Doobie Brothers and Def Leppard. But all those bands had a far greater catalogue and influence than Bad Company.

Joy Division are the most exciting group for me here, but I don’t think they’ll get recognition.

Solid chance: Billy Idol, Cyndi Lauper, Mariah Carey, Black Crowes

Cyndi Lauper and Mariah Carey have been nominated before. And, considering the Hall’s efforts in recent years to induct more women, I can see them both getting in.

The Black Crowes features a solid rock act (the induction is a concert after all).

But what about Billy Idol? He’s probably known more for his name and image than his music. Is that enough?

Shoo-ins: The White Stripes, Outkast, Oasis

The White Stripes and Oasis should’ve gotten in on their first nominations. It’s criminal they weren’t, and they should be in this year.

That leaves Outkast, which is ironically the outcast here. But the Hall has made an effort to include more hip-hop acts lately. Outkast are a decent addition.

Fitzie’s predictions: The Rock Hall in recent years has added between five and seven artists to be inducted via the “Performers” category. I’m going to take the middle this time and go with six additions: The Black Crowes, Cyndi Lauper, Mariah Carey, The White Stripes, Oasis, Outkast.

But at the end of the day, this whole excericse is stupid and we shouldn’t take it seriously.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Lotta Love, by Courtney Barnett

And now for your links:

Alasdair Gold: “Tottenham submit plans to improve medical facilities at training ground amid injury crisis”

Dan KP: “Daniel Levy’s risk-averse strategy threatens Tottenham’s place among a new Premier League elite”

The Telegraph: “Anatomy of Merseyside derby mayhem: Tarkowski’s goal, agonising VAR check and four red cards”