Cartilage Free Captain

”[It’s a] big challenge for me, [a] big honor to be here, I’m very happy. In the same way, I don’t think too much about myself, because I’m focused on work to do. Wherever you go, it’s always about your relationship with the place, with the team, with the town.

”There are a lot of similarities, even if this is like the NBA of European football, this is the best of the best, so it’s a privilege to be here. First priority is to give everything the team needs in these moments. The team needs, I believe, first of all to get some confidence, to get some courage, but also in the same way, the concrete things in the pitch.

”Of course, I’m coming here knowing the situation is not easy, there’s no time to find excuses. What I said from the first day here, each of us, each of the players, need to give something, something more, something extra, because the position of the club at this moment is not that anybody can accept. Every fan of Tottenham cannot accept the situation. We are aware of that, but it’s not enough to just be aware of that.

“I like to be positive, I like to play offensive football. Of course, that’s my first goal I have, that I like to score the goal, but in the same way, for sure, I need to give organization in defense, give the clear structure of what you want to play.

”The situation is not easy, because, as you know better than me, we have a lot of injured players, so we need first to find the best system that suits for the players that are available in this moment. So, a very particular moment, maybe this can sound strange, but I believe that the thing that we need to be focused on is training. So, the training from today, that’s the key, because, as I always like to say, Sunday and the game is a consequence of the training.

”So, that needs to be focused. The coach needs to show the path, where is the way we want to go, how we want to go, and the players need to accept this, and together, in this way, preparing during the week is the best thing for Sunday.

”I know some players, I’ve also coached Dejan [Kulusevski] and Rodrigo [Bentancur]. Unfortunately, they are not now available to play immediately, but they are here in the dressing room, for sure. But I find all players very available to react like this. I believe in style, and style is more important than the system, of course.

”As I said, [this is] a very particular moment, so every club has its particularity. Yeah, can I say this word? That is first as a culture of the club, which kind of football they like, so it’s always important to think about that. But in the same way, [to] not forget who I am, what I want the team to achieve, but thinking ‘This player can do this.’ So, I need to be very intelligent with my staff, to find the best possible way to get out in a very, very short time.

“It was a good first [training] session, we started to know each other. It was one hour, because we had five days free, so first training is not too much, and tomorrow we start to work seriously. Big week, yes, big week, important games. Important game, we know. This derby is a fantastic game to play. We want to play this game in a way that our fans will like.

”So, going and give everything what we have, in the right way, brave, but in the same way intelligent and smart, to achieve what we want, and that’s the victory.

”I believe that football, in 2026, has changed a lot. It’s changing year by year, so more physical players, let’s say, it’s crucial. If you can run 115k as a team, it’s better than 105k. That means that you have one player extra, so there is nothing strange to choose that direction, of course. It’s always about motivated players that understand this thing about running, about the physical aspect of football, which is sometimes not easy.

”But that without quality, you cannot do nothing. So, technical skills, intelligence to see, to recognize the situation, speech is always above everything. So, you need to find a mix [with] both things. And about winning or drawing, that’s true.

“I never saw the coach who said that he can play for draw. It’s not possible. So, offensive football, yes, but smart. That’s the key.”

Welcome to the latest installment of The Orchid Tales, where your hoddler-in-chief documents the life and times of his orchid. Has it really been 12 months since our most recent edition? That’s way too long! Let’s check in to see how things are shaping up.

For those of you new to this site - this is also one of the longest-running features of the hoddle under your HIC. The first edition of The Orchid Tales premiered on August 19, 2022. That’s almost four years ago!

One of the most challenging parts about moving, for me, is understanding how to put my orchid in the best possible position to thrive. A huge part of that means how and where it is going to receive sunlight. That sort of calculus makes it probably a little too challenging for me in how I’m going to set up my entire living arrangements.

At least I’ve figured it now for now, and I’ll be monitoring Planty’s health in the coming weeks.

There aren’t any signs that the orchid is going to grow new buds this season, which is okay. The leaves remain a very healthy green, and the roots are wild and respond well when being watered.

It looks like I’ll be tending the plant for the next few months until it’s time to repot, and then maybe I’ll bring it in to a florist to help me understand how to best plot an orchid that is growing increasingly more horizontal by the month.

It’s also time to bring new plants into the fold. I’ve had a ponytail palm sitting on a shelf for the last 2.5 years, which still looks very healthy. I also plan on bringing in some floor plants into the equation - probably the likes of a snake plant, a fiddle leaf fig or a dracaena.

I’ve got some more space on the bookshelves to add a few smaller plants too.

Is it too many plants? Probably not. You can’t have enough plants. I think they add a tonne of life and colour into the mix.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Waits For Me, by Anjimile

And now for your links:

The Standard: “Igor Tudor will have Tottenham squad ‘running through brick walls’, says former player”

Alasdair Gold: “Everything you need to know about Igor Tudor’s new-look coaching staff at Tottenham”

Matt Law: “Tottenham face ‘catastrophic’ cost of relegation and no European football”

The Independent: “Troy Parrott on becoming Republic of Ireland’s hero, Mourinho’s impact and searching for ‘big moments’”

BBC: “League One Mansfield to host Arsenal in fifth round - full FA Cup draw”

I think deep down we all expected that Tottenham Hotspur Interim Head Coach Igor Tudor would come to Spurs with a few people he trusts to work with as he seeks to save his new club’s season. Indeed, as Tudor takes the reins at Tottenham for the first time this week, reports are out, including in The Athletic and Football.London, that four of Thomas Frank’s assistants have left the club, with Tudor bringing in a few new people.

According to the reports, Ivan Javorcic is joining Tudor as assistant coach, Riccardo Raganacci as physical coach and Tomislav Rogic as goalkeeping coach. Departing are Justin Cochrane, Chris Haslam, and John Heitinga, along with analyst Joe Newton. The departure of Heitinga is grimly hilarious, as the former Ajax manager was only appointed exactly one month ago on January 15 to replace the outgoing Matt Wells; Heitinga was apparently one of the names considered to be interim head coach if Spurs opted to promote internally. Now he’s gone, without leaving much of a mark whatsoever.

Cochrane also came to Spurs with a pretty good reputation (along with Frank) of developing players, but we saw precious little of that in the eight months he was at the club. I’m not sure you can make a credible argument that any Tottenham players improved their level from last season apart from Archie Gray and maaaaaybe Wilson Odobert. If you want to be charitable, you can also make a case that Xavi Simon’s bedding in worked pretty much as anticipated, though perhaps a little longer than everyone hoped.

At any rate, those four are gone and Tudor will come in with an injury-ravaged squad, but fresh ideas. We’ll see this weekend what those ideas will look like when Tottenham host Arsenal in the home North London Derby.

Good morning everyone.

We’ve seen a lot of bicycle kicks at Tottenham Hotspur Football Club this season. First there was that one from Richarlison on the opening day of the season. Upon rewatching it, it’s almost incredible it’s not already the automatic winner for the team’s best goal this season:

Then Cristian Romero hit his own overhead kick against Newcastle. His was a little less impressive than the beauty we saw from Richarlison (bouncing twice before getting in the goal), but it came at a huge time in the match to draw Spurs level against Newcastle.

He actually scored a brace that game to salvage the draw - and we know every point matters right now.

Well, let’s add another bicycle kick to the list. Except this time it comes from a former beloved Tottenham Hotspur player: Oliver Skipp.

That’s our boy Skippy with the overhead kick in the 52nd minute of Leicester’s game against Southampton. It was a big goal, too, leveling the game against Saints until the Foxes fell in extra time. Heartbreaking for Skipp and Tottenham Hotspur hero Harry Winks.

The loss does give Leicester City more time to focus on their relegation battle (and you were concerned about Spurs). After a recent points deduction, they now sit in the drop zone and are in danger of falling to League One.

It’s a pretty tight race - just one point will see them move out of the bottom three, but they’ve also played more games than Portsmouth (21st at 33 points) and Charlton (18th at 39 points). Then you’ve got West Brom and Blackburn in the fight as well.

It’s a remarkable fall from grace for Leicester. And this could be a very rare - if not unprecedented - occurrence where two former Premier League champions drop into the third tier.

Fitzie’s track of the day: The Shoes of the Fisherman’s Wife Are Some Jive Ass Slippers, by Charles Mingus

And now for your links:

BBC Video (territory restriction): “Spurs unstoppable in 10-goal thriller against Aston Villa”

The Athletic ($$): “Clubs turn to Igor Tudor when they’re on a cliff edge – Spurs will not daunt him”

The Times: “Hull fans arrested over offensive chants during Chelsea defeat”

Daily Record: “Rangers 4 Hearts 2 LIVE as it happened – Chermiti hat trick dents Jambos title hopes”

We have breaking news: According to Sky Sports, Tottenham Hotspur have appointed former Juventus manager Igor Tudor as interim head coach, with a short term contract lasting until June 2026. Tudor replaces Thomas Frank, whom Spurs sacked on Wednesday after a 2-1 home loss to Newcastle in the Premier League.

Tudor is a Croatian manager and former player who had his best run in his playing days at Juventus, where he tallied 115 appearances and 15 goals as a central defender. He most recently served as Juventus manager, replacing Thiago Motta last spring, but was sacked in October of this year after Juventus had an eight match losing streak, ending his tenure at the Italian club after seven months. Tudor also inherited a mess of a situation as manager of Marseille in 2022-23; he managed them in the Champions League with them finishing bottom of their group, and left at the end of the season, citing “tiredness” with the club and management.

I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on Igor Tudor, and people much smarter than me note him as a primarily defensive head coach, though he’s known for aggressive tactics. An article at Total Football Analysis says his past coaching history suggests as a manager he’s “a coach unafraid to make bold tactical shifts, often revitalising sides in need of fresh energy.” That same article, written after his appointment at Juventus, noted that he was successful in instilling “greater dynamism through structural tweaks, sharpening transitions and bringing balance between defence and attack.” He’s also considered a good motivator of players. Considering that Spurs are presently at risk of relegation and have had difficulty not only scoring but also generating chances in offense, this feels… dare I say it… like it could be a good thing?

A quick glance through Tudor’s history doesn’t make him out to be a particularly stable personality, but considering the scope of the assignment here I’m not sure Spurs are in much of a position to quibble too much.

It certainly can’t hurt. This is a lost season for Spurs, and Tudor isn’t under pressure to, say, qualify for the Champions League — though he will usher Spurs through the CL Round of 16 and potentially further, he basically just needs about 12 points in Spurs’ last 12 matches to ensure they don’t go down. If he does that, it’s job done, and that seems like a perfectly reasonable expectation for him. If he can get this critically injured Tottenham squad of misfit toys playing something like cromulent football, then it’s a win.

Ornstein says that Tudor does not have a permanent option, but it also feels as though if he does good enough he could potentially win his way into the permanent job. Either way, this is a temporary appointment, with the club planning on making a permanent hire this summer, likely after the World Cup win a number of qualified candidates will likely be available. One of those potential candidates is almost certainly USMNT manager (and former Spurs boss) Mauricio Pochettino.

Reports from earlier this morning suggested former Dortmund managers Eden Terzic and Marco Rose were in consideration for the interim head coaching role. Tudor’s name seemingly came out of nowhere, and his first responsibility will be to lead the team out against arch rivals and league leaders Arsenal in ten days. Good luck, buddy. But get us 11 points by May and you’ll have the thankfulness of a grateful Spurs nation.

Welcome to Tottenham, Igor Tudor.

As you all might have known, I’ve recently moved places. And if you’ve ever gone through a move in your life then you’d know that sometimes things get misplaced in the mix.

Well, there are a couple of things that I’m missing and cannot find.

The first is a jumper that I really liked. I also cannot find either of my running hats.

The third is a bit more curious: My copy of Black Sabbath’s Master of Reality. Here’s the thing: I have the album jacket, but I’m missing the vinyl.

I recently organised my entire record collection and it did not show up there at all. What gives me hope is that I was able to reunited my vinyl for The Great Lost Kinks Album with its jacket. I genuinely have no idea what happened to my copy of Master of Reality.

There are a fair amount of records I put in outer plastic sleeves and separate the vinyl from the jacket to protect both. Did they get separated somehow? This is the only clue I have to go on.

And still - where the heck are my jumper and running hats?

I’ll be spending this weekend hoping to solve these mysteries.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Into the Void, by Black Sabbath

And now for your links:

Jay Harris ($$): “The challenges facing Tottenham’s next manager — and how they can be addressed”

Alasdair Gold: “When Tottenham expect to appoint their new manager after Thomas Frank sacking”

Matt Law: “Robbie Keane is not interested in interim role at Tottenham Hotspur”

The Standard: “Robbie Keane issues four-word response to Tottenham manager links before interview walkout”

BBC: “Will Arsenal’s end-of-season form haunt them again?”

The Independent: “Thomas Tuchel extends England contract to rule himself out of Man United job”

I have what I suspect most Spurs fans will think is good news courtesy of Sky Sports — according to Sky journalist Michael Bridge, Roberto De Zerbi wants to take a break after resigning from his job as head coach at Marseille, and is not interested in taking over at Tottenham Hotspur in the short term, either as a permanent head coach or interim to the summer.

This is pretty much a lost season (Champions League aside), and Tottenham probably need about 12 points from its next 12 league matches to ensure that it stays up and is not relegated to the Championship next season. I strongly suspect that you could put Johnny Heitinga, or whoever, in charge and they could probably pick that up with a new manager bounce, after which Spurs can focus on attracting a permanent head coach in the summer. De Zerbi comes with enough baggage and not enough proven effectiveness to make his appointment this week an attractive one, and I’ve already said my peace about the off the field stuff he’d bring into Spurs’ orbit, so I’m perfectly satisfied to see him essentially rule himself out of the running.

I don’t know what Spurs will do this week. I don’t know if De Zerbi would be a candidate if Tottenham punt the permanent job until the summer. I do know that I don’t want that guy anywhere near my club and I’ll accept any positive news in that area I can get.

Tottenham Hotspur may or may not want to run the years back by reappointing Mauricio Pochettino as its next permanent head coach, but if they do they will need to wait until after the USA completes its World Cup run this summer. That’s the official line out of USMNT channels according to The Athletic, which states that Pochettino fully intends to see USA through the summer international competition, hosted by the United States, Canada, and Mexico.

It’s not even slightly a secret that Tottenham have their eyes on a Pochettino return after the sacking of Thomas Frank on Wednesday, which came about after Spurs fell at home to Newcastle 2-1 on Tuesday evening. Poch has been making googly eyes at Spurs for years, hinting at “unfinished business” after he was let go in 2019. The timing was never right for him to return to the club as manager; when Spurs have had openings either it was too soon or Poch already had commitments to another position.

That’s the case here as well, though this time those timing issues could be solved sooner rather than later. Tottneham are still — somehow, aggravatingly — trying to figure out their next best move for who leads the team out on the pitch against Arsenal in 10 days, and whether that person will be a caretaker or interim head coach, or a permanent appointment. If Spurs do want to make a permanent appointment however, it won’t — can’t — be Pochettino. The Athletic reports that the line out of the US Soccer Federation is that Pochettino will remain with the USA Men’s National Team, and also notes that there is a substantial (but unquantified) buyout in his USA contract.

There would be other possibilities in the summer as well, with an expected major coaching churn following the conclusion of the World Cup in July. Waiting that long does have its risks as it means a coaching appointment well after the start of the summer transfer window, which would have significant long-tail effects as to how Spurs can structure the team to avoid another flirt with relegation. That said, if Poch truly is the guy they want, and it sounds very much like Poch is interested in the job, they’ll have to wait.

Good morning everyone. I know we’re all drowning in #FrankOut news and wondering who the new manager of Tottenham Hotspur will be. For those who read yesterday’s hoddle, you’ll remember that I got pretty angry during my run on Tuesday night after that loss to Newcastle. During that run an idea spawned: a new, temporary feature on my marathon training progress.

My next marathon is on 4 April 2026. The goal: A new personal best. And not just to top my previous one - but to smash it. My realistic estimate right now is 3:07 (30 minutes faster than my current PB). Considering my personal best at the half is 1:26.00, I think a sub-3 is not impossible, but it will be difficult.

I don’t like to constantly go off on marathon training. I think “runfluencers” are dangerous and self-serving, that pressuring people to run is dismissive of others’ fitness and health goals, and that comparing times helps no one.

I am currently on Week 9 of 16 during my most recent training block. The whole point of this exercise is going to be about me offering a very honest insight into the highs, difficulties and challenges of training for a marathon. At the risk of being a hypocrite, I’d say it is also designed to help me understand the challenges that I’m faced with as well.

Also I feel you guys would want to read about someone who’s actually producing results instead of the dumpster fire that is Tottenham Hotspur HQ.

I might tweak some things around with the formatting here and there, and please be patient with me. As always, you’re free to skip straight through to the comments. Anyways, with that long introduction out of the way, let’s get to Fitzie’s Fun Run Recap:

Weeks 9

This is by far the most difficult training block I’ve endured. This winter in the District of Columbia is horrible. Temperatures below 22C, wind gusts of up to 45 miles per hour. I’m layering up as much as I can. My water bottle freezes. The running buff around my neck freezes. The roads are iced over. It’s brutal.

Sunday run: 20 miles

This is my second 20-miler. This means I’ve now done two 16-milers, two 18-milers and two 20-milers during my training so far. I’m pretty happy. It was difficult today, though. My legs didn’t feel great, my toenail was falling off even before I went out, and the winds were brutal. Even worse, my running watch was uncooperative.

Iced-over roads forced me to adjust my route and I found myself on the Capital Crescent Trail. It was beautiful. I took a moment to admire a red cardinal splashed against the snowy bank with the Potomac River in the background, before I nearly tripped over a mound of snow next to the path.

I occasionally doubt myself, and today I did. Nothing seemed to go my way and I though about turning around as soon as Mile 2. I stuck with it, I waved to other runners, most waved back at me. Someone high-fived me. Another fist-bumped me. I farted in front of a third (and maybe fourth).

I finished the run in 2:25. It was about the pace I had imagined, a little bit slower than marathon pace.

I’m not sure what the secret is to long runs. A few things help me. The first and most important is to love running, otherwise what’s the point. Finding places you love to run is another good way of doing it. I don’t carry my phone with me, so I can’t take pictures, but it also helps me to disconnect. Instead I just look and admire all that surrounds me. I like to listen to the shuffling of feet, the wind, birds chirping, my incessant inner dialogue.

I also like to visualise myself in those final couple of miles struggling. I like to imagine being out there all alone and struggling, and what I need to do to get through the final painful stretches. It helps, I think. And I hope runs like this one help build that mental strength that’ll pay off in April.

Monday: Rest day

And a well-deserved one.

Tuesday: 7 mile recovery run

The pace is about 89 seconds or so slower than my half-marathon pace (so about 7:54/mile). Not about going fast, just about going out, breathing, enjoying being outside and running. First two miles weren’t fun. I don’t like the darkness. I want it to be bright again. Regardless, this run felt effortless as a recovery run should be. Some nice stretching after getting home.

Wednesday: 7 mile tempo run on the treadmill

One mile warmup. 800m at slightly faster than HM pace (6.22/mi) 10x with 90 seconds rest in-between. One mile cooldown.

Hated it. I hate the treadmill. I hate wearing earphones and listening to the podcast. I hate the earphones slip out of my ears when I sweat. I hate this day. I hate this winter. I felt awful the whole time. “I totally biffed it,” I imagined my future self keep saying after not hitting the full 7 miles. I thought I’d only manage 4 total, then 5. I ended up doing the 7.

It was a late night. Didn’t sit down for dinner until 8.30pm. I was making pasta when one of the vents above the stovetop fell into my pot. I only had meat sauce. Not a good day. Wondering why I’m putting in all this effort. I just want it to be bright outside again.

Thursday: 10 miles easy

Dreading this one. Ten miles is an easy distance for me, so I’m not worried about that. I’m more worried about the time it’ll take in the evening, knowing I’ll be tired, and the sun will be setting. I’ll be wearing my LED lights.

Friday: Gym

Expecting deadlifts to lead a full-body workout. Keeping it light-ish. It’s all about stability, flexibility and injury prevention. I have no interest in doing anything that’ll compromise my Sunday run.

Saturday: 7-8 miles easy

Not worried. Excited to get out there again.

Expected total weekly miles: 52

Fitzie’s track of the day: Youth Gone Wild, by Skid Row

And now for your links:

The Times: “Thomas Frank’s sessions bored players — and he rated only Pedro Porro”

Matt Law: “De Zerbi, Pochettino and Keane on Tottenham shortlist to replace Frank”

Alasdair Gold: “The 10 moments that led to Thomas Frank being sacked by Tottenham”

Jack P-B et al ($$): “Thomas Frank was meant to bring stability to Spurs, but ended up unpopular with fans and players”

Miguel Delaney: “Tottenham are a giant mess after sacking Thomas Frank and the blame is clear”

Sami Mokbel: “Frank’s downfall: Inside his struggle to get players and fans onboard”

The Guardian: “Sean Dyche sacked by Nottingham Forest after Wolves draw”

OK, I’m going to start with a disclaimer: you should take whatever you read here with an entire salt mine, because not only is it super early for this kind of speculation, but we’ve also already established that Tottenham Hotspur did not have a succession plan in place for who would succeed Thomas Frank before they fired him this morning. So consider everything below this paragraph as rank speculation.

But with that in mind, we do have said speculation that we can pass on. And of course, that speculation comes courtesy of our good friend Matt Law, writing for the Daily Telegraph. Law writes that while the club decides what it wants to do (sidebar: hnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggg) there are names that are emerging on a potential managerial shortlist. Those names include former Brighton and Marseille manager Roberto De Zerbi, former Spurs and current USMNT head coach Mauricio Pochettino, and former Tottenham striker and current Ferencvaros head coach Robbie Keane.

Now, before we get into any of the specifics, Law makes it clear that the club doesn’t really know what it wants at the moment, or whether they’d be open to a permanent replacement now, or an interim with a permanent hire after this summer’s World Cup. That makes these three names extremely interesting, but for different reasons.

Let’s start with De Zerbi, which if you are a correct-thinking Tottenham fan, the idea should be chucked in the bin immediately. De Zerbi recently stepped down from a disastrous stint at Marseille as manager where he managed to both piss everybody off including his players and also somehow both sign and defend Mason Greenwood who was credibly accused of sexual assault while at Manchester United. I will go out on a limb here and say that there are plenty of non-footballing reasons why De Zerbi should be nowhere near a Spurs managerial shortlist, but also the football hasn’t exactly been stellar either. Also, I can’t see him agreeing to come in as an interim so that appointment should be considered a full time hire, and if there’s serious interest here I will be the first person to start an online #NoToDeZerbi campaign. It’s a no for me, Clive. The hardest of passes.

Pochettino is the fan’s favorite for permanent manager, but considering he’s about to lead the USA to a World Cup on home soil there doesn’t appear to be any chance he’d be willing to break his contract to come save a damaged Spurs from relegation. Spurs very well might end up rolling back the clock and getting the band together under Pochettino, but it won’t be before Spurs take the pitch against Arsenal.

Robbie Keane is an interesting choice in the Michael Carrick mode. I don’t have any opinions (yet) on Keane’s suitability but he currently has them top of the table in the Hungarian league and led them to a respectable 12th and the playoffs of the Champions League this season. Again, it’s not clear he’d be interested in leaving a pretty good job for an interim position at his old club, or whether Spurs would be prepared to offer him the job permanently if he does a good enough job in what remains of the Premier League season, but he’s also Robbie Keane, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The final option would be an internal hire, and Law suggests if Spurs promote an interim from within it’ll be Johnny Heitinga, who Spurs just appointed in the last month to replace Matt Wells, who left for a head coaching position in MLS. Heitinga flamed out at Ajax in what should be a one horse league and there are suggestions he might not be up for a head coaching job in the Premier League, but if the remit is “not get relegated” then there are probably any number of guys who could do the job and Heitinga is one of them. I’m not necessarily opposed to Johnny Heitinga if the end result is Premier League safety and a firm handshake/farewell at the end of the season, but it doesn’t exactly scream confidence in the club’s ability to form a succession plan. (Also — Justin Cochrane exists?)

Looking to a summer appointment, Law also notes that Fulham manager Marco Silva and Bournemouth’s Andoni Iraola are both out of contract this summer, and there will likely be other managerial possibilities after the World Cup, should Spurs want to lay track with someone ahead of time. Other names mentioned included Martin Jol, Harry Redknapp, and Edin Terzic, late of Dortmund.

Personally, I feel like the club is floundering and that despite publicly printed “shortlists” we really have no idea what the club wants to do. But if you’re looking for possibilities to think about or even, dare I say it, dream on, now you have a few. Tottenham’s players have the full week off this week as Spurs are already out of the FA Cup, so I’d expect we’ll know before the weekend.