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Tottenham Hotspur have confirmed that Ryan Mason has once again been handed the interim reins – this time as chairman, following Daniel Levy’s sudden decision to step down after more than two decades at the helm.

Club officials reported that Mason was the natural choice given his prior experience of being awkwardly wheeled out whenever Levy sacked yet another permanent appointment.

‘Ryan’s comfortable stepping in at short notice, saying things about ‘the great character of the lads’, then disappearing quietly once we’ve panicked and hired someone else’, a Spurs spokesperson said following the announcement.

Mason, who quit his job at West Brom to accept the position, admitted he was ‘honoured but not remotely surprised’ at his appointment.

‘Honestly, I thought I might be filling in as head groundsman this week but chairman’s alright too, I suppose’.

When pressed on whether he would appoint himself as Spurs interim manager for a 16th time should new boss Thomas Frank lose three games in a row, the 34-year-old replied:

‘I know the club, I know the lads and most importantly, I know where the interim parking spot is’.

Meanwhile, Daniel Levy has expressed relief at finally stepping aside.

‘After 25 years and 62 managers, the time feels right to pass the torch’.

‘I hope I’m remembered by the fans for my two trophies and not for charging them £9.50 a pint on matchdays.

‘I’d like to take the opportunity to sincerely apologise for Tim Sherwood.

‘The gilet, the post-match interviews, Vlad Chiriches – I should have seen it coming.

‘I trust Ryan to keep things ticking over until a suitable oligarch or oil rich state with a questionable human rights record seizes control of the club’.

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Tottenham Hotspur have confirmed that Ryan Mason has once again been handed the interim reins – this time as chairman, following Daniel Levy’s sudden decision to step down after more than two decades at the helm.

Club officials reported that Mason was the natural choice given his prior experience of being awkwardly wheeled out whenever Levy sacked yet another permanent appointment.

‘Ryan’s comfortable stepping in at short notice, saying things about ‘the great character of the lads’, then disappearing quietly once we’ve panicked and hired someone else’, a Spurs spokesperson said following the announcement.

Mason, who quit his job at West Brom to accept the position, admitted he was ‘honoured but not remotely surprised’ at his appointment.

‘Honestly, I thought I might be filling in as head groundsman this week but chairman’s alright too, I suppose’.

When pressed on whether he would appoint himself as Spurs interim manager for a 16th time should new boss Thomas Frank lose three games in a row, the 34-year-old replied:

‘I know the club, I know the lads and most importantly, I know where the interim parking spot is’.

Meanwhile, Daniel Levy has expressed relief at finally stepping aside.

‘After 25 years and 62 managers, the time feels right to pass the torch’.

‘I hope I’m remembered by the fans for my two trophies and not for charging them £9.50 a pint on matchdays.

‘I’d like to take the opportunity to sincerely apologise for Tim Sherwood.

‘The gilet, the post-match interviews, Vlad Chiriches – I should have seen it coming.

‘I trust Ryan to keep things ticking over until a suitable oligarch or oil rich state with a questionable human rights record seizes control of the club’.

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Thomas Frank has decided to take a break from football management by agreeing to become the new boss of Tottenham Hotspur.

The Danish tactician, who has done sterling work in charge of Brentford since being promoted to first-team coach in 2018, claimed it was time for a “change of scenery” as he steps into the hottest of hot seats in North London.

A source revealed that: “Thomas feels the time is right for a career change and he has taken the job at Spurs in the hope that he will get a seriously good pay-off before Christmas and be able to return to top-level coaching in 2026.

“He is excited to be following in the footsteps of people such as Jose Mourinho and Antonio Conte, who also had their careers temporarily disrupted by accepting a job from Daniel Levy.”

Latest reports suggest that Frank has also been in contact with his predecessor Ange Postecoglou regarding the job at Spurs.

The larger-than-life Aussie took time out from his sunbed in the Caribbean to offer these words of encouragement:

“Mate, I just told him to relax, crack open a few tinnies, concentrate on winning a few games in the Champions League before Christmas and tell Levy that you always win something in your second season.

“He’ll always be able to go back to Brentford next summer and he’ll have a load of wonga in his back pocket courtesy of Mr Chairman.”

Brentford players are understood to be heartbroken by the news. An unnamed member of the first-team squad told us:

We were called to the training ground this morning and there was a big banner hung up in the canteen from the gaffer which simply read:

“Lads, it’s Spurs!!!”

With speculation now rife as to who Frank will poach from his former employer, Paddy Power News understands that some of Brentford’s biggest stars have gone underground in the hope that they will not get the dreaded call to join up with their former boss at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

One name that has been heavily linked with a switch to North London is Cameroon international winger Bryan Mbeumo. His agent was prepared to give us an update, explaining that:

“Bryan is only just coming to terms with the fact that he is wanted at Manchester United and we are still trying to find the best excuse to turn them down.

“The last he needs right now is an approach from another club that is a pile of s**t.”

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Dan Ballard was Sunderland’s hero last night as his late goal secured a spot in the Championship play-off final, where the Black Cats will face Sheffield United to determine which club will take six points off both Manchester United and Tottenham next season.

Coventry also thought they had a chance to inflict home and away defeats on the banter clubs when Ephron Mason-Clark gave the Sky Blues a 76th minute lead to take the game into extra-time.

But Ballard’s last-gasp header sent Sunderland to Wembley for a showdown with the Blades, with both clubs licking their lips at the prospect of facing the Premier League whipping boys.

“I’m delighted for the fans,” a senior Sunderland source told Paddy Power News.

“For eight long years, they could only look on with envy as the away fans of other Premier League clubs sang ‘Old Trafford’s falling down’ while 3-0 up at United.

“But now it is their turn, and everyone associated with Sunderland is looking forward to seeing the United fans streaming out of Old Trafford in their droves around the 70th minute mark.”

Meanwhile, Coventry manager Frank Lampard admitted his players were devastated after Ballard’s late strike.

“The lads are heartbroken,” the former Chelsea boss said.

“Some of them have never experienced the joy of wheeling away towards your fans in celebration after scoring at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

“I was lucky enough to score lots of goals against Spurs. Then again, so was any player worth his salt in the Premier League era.

“To be sitting below this current United team in the table really is a testament to how sh*te they are now.

“They were a banker six points. It’s gutting.”

On missing out on the opportunity to batter United too, Lampard added: “This side was only one Aaron Wan-Bissaka toenail away from beating Manchester United at Wembley a year ago.

“Somehow, United have managed to get even worse since then, so the lads were confident of doing them over home and away.

“Ah well, there’s always the season after next when they’re both playing in the Championship.”

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Aston Villa have successfully blocked their Premier League game against Tottenham being brought forward to 16 May, which would have allowed Spurs more time to prepare for the Europa League final, because “they’re going to bottle it” against Bodo/Glimt on Thursday night.

Spurs were due to travel to Villa Park 18 May but submitted a request to the Premier League for the game to be played earlier to have longer to prepare should they reach the Europa League final on 21 May.

However, after consulting with club lawyers, Villa successfully blocked the fixture change citing a direct contravention Premier League Law 18, ‘The Spursy Rule’.

A source within the claret-and-blue hierarchy explained: ‘Tottenham’s decision to take for granted their safe passage to the Europa League final is a clear breach of Premier League Law 18, The Spursy Rule’.

‘The law clearly states, that even in instances of Tottenham leading a two-legged tie by 10 goals, such is their propensity to throw it away, it should never be assumed they’ll progress to the next round.

‘Therefore, Tottenham are forbidden from ever taking a game for granted and will be forced to fulfil all originally scheduled fixtures.

‘We look forward to inflicting Tottenham’s 21st league defeat of the season upon them (Crystal Palace being their 20th) on 18 May’.

The Spursy Law was introduced by the Premier League in 2016 after Tottenham somehow contrived to finish 3rd in a two-horse title race with eventual winners Leicester City.

The law has never been invoked until now because everyone assumed Tottenham, particularly a Tottenham team languishing 16th in the table, would never be as presumptuous as to believe they were home and dry in a two-legged European tie with only a two-goal advantage.

In related news, UEFA are reportedly making contingency plans for the Europa League final in the event both Tottenham and Manchester United both progress to the Bilbao showpiece.

It’s understood UEFA are concerned that Spurs and United might both conceivably lose the game.

‘It’s unprecedented but then again, we’ve never had two finalists this sh*t’, a UEFA source told Paddy Power News.

‘Everything is on the table, including scrapping the Europa League all together.

‘Does a competition deserve to exist when Spurs and United are the best teams in it?

‘We’d rather melt down the trophy than have an ‘El Bantero’ final’.

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James Maddison scored the only goal as Tottenham beat Premier League strugglers Manchester United 1-0 in the first ever El Bantero game.

The title has been given to one of sport’s newest rivalries between the two teams who are a never-ending source of amusement to supporters of rival clubs.

Since firmly establishing themselves as the Premier League’s top-two banter clubs, Spurs and United faced off in this relegation six-pointer at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

Spurs, who had picked up just four points from their previous eight league games and been knocked out of both domestic cups, took on United, seeking an 8th defeat in 12 league games under Ruben Amorim.

United’s 1-0 El Bantero defeat leaves them 12 points shy of relegation to the Championship with 13 games to play.

Speaking after the game, United boss Amorim said:

‘I can’t understand. These tactics worked against Boavista and Gil Vicente’.

‘Perhaps Dan Ashworth was right, and I am not the Portuguese Brian Clough?

‘If we can sack the tea lady to free up some funds, maybe I can buy some players in the summer?

‘We’re paying Antony £200,000-per-week to play like prime Messi for Real Betis but getting Sandra off the wage bill could make all the difference’.

The Portuguese also gave an update on United’s long list of absentees who spent the weekend working with United’s club doctors in the recently renamed ‘Luke Shaw Treatment Centre’.

‘As you know, we lost Amad, Mainoo, Ugarte and Collyer last week’.

‘That’s the last time we introduce MMA to training’.

Meanwhile, Spurs boss Ange Postecoglou said he was proud of his players despite losing the bragging rights in the inaugural El Bantero contest.

‘We gave it our best shot but turns out United are even Spursier than Spurs, mate’, the Australian told Paddy Power News.

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