The first time was so nice, we must do it twice. No, seriously, we could really do with a deep Champions League run to salvage an otherwise miserable 2025/26 campaign.
There was genuine hope that Ange Postecoglou, during his second season, could guide a stumbling Lilywhites team to Europa League glory, but absolutely no one, not even the most blinkered Spurs supporter, believes this Igor Tudor-led outfit is capable of conquering the continent amid relegation fears on the home front.
Our Champions League outings offered sparks of pleasure during Thomas Frank's otherwise bleak reign, but the competition is veering into its nitty-gritty phase following the conclusion of a dramatic playoff round.
Friday's draw not only revealed Tottenham's round of 16 opponents, but also mapped out Spurs' path to an unfathomable triumph.
We couldn't, could we?
Tottenham's round of 16 opponents
Our miraculous journey to the Hungarian capital starts against Atlético Madrid, who eventually cruised past Club Brugge in the playoff round after a thrilling first leg ended three apiece.
It'll be our first meeting with Los Rojiblancos since 1963, and there's a part of me that's glad we're taking on the two-time finalists under Diego Simeone as opposed to Galatasaray, who'll instead face Liverpool.
It's a tough draw, for sure, but would you back us against the Turkish champions right now? I prefer the more lucrative tie, and Atléti are somewhat prone to unexpected Champions League slip-ups. They typically thrive with their backs against the wall against the continent's best, with Tudor's plucky Lilywhites a potential banana skin.
In theory, we should benefit from hosting the second leg. Survive at the Metropolitano, and we might just have a chance. Our domestic record has been pitiful in N17 over the past two years, but José Mourinho was the last manager to oversee a European home defeat at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.
Tottenham's potential quarter-final opponents
If we're able to grind our way past Simeoneâs Atléti, Barcelona or Newcastle United would await in the quarter-finals.
We're, of course, familiar with the Magpies, who ended Frank's bleak tenure with a 2-1 victory in north London at the start of February. Trips to St. James' Park under the lights are seldom enjoyable, and I suspect Barça, given their issues out of possession, could succumb on Tyneside.
An all-English affair would be enticing despite the lack of novelty, but I'm sure plenty would like to see Lamine Yamal make his way down to N17 for the first time. Hansi Flick's side can be a joyous watch, especially when Pedri's ticking things over in the middle of the park.
Tottenham's potential semi-final opponents
Well, this would be something, wouldn't it?
A North London Derby with a spot in the Champions League final at stake. My heart couldn't take it. You'd be brave to even tune in.
Arsenal are almost assured of their spot in the semi-finals, with the Gunners, who topped the league phase table, facing Bayer Leverkusen in the last 16 and either Bodø/Glimt or Sporting CP in the quarters. A reunion with Kjetil Knutsen's side would be the dream, but the chances of that happening, more so on our part, our distinctly slim.
We'd surely have to be confident against anyone if we made it all this way. Dejan Kulusevski's patella may reattach for crunch time, too.
Tottenham's potential final opponents
Our sole two experiences of European finals this century have come against English opposition. It'd be nice to face someone from the continent after Tudor's side have wreaked unexpected havoc on the 'blue side' of the knockout stage draw.
You'd say that the 'silver side' looks tougher on paper, with multiple leading contenders likely to face off before the showpiece event.
Holders Paris Saint-Germain aren't performing as potently as they did a year ago, and Chelsea will fancy their chances of a Club World Cup final repeat, albeit with a different manager in charge. The Blues could meet Liverpool in a long-awaited Champions League rematch in the quarter-finals, but the Reds must first bypass Galatasaray, whom they lost to in the league phase.