Cartilage Free Captain

There aren’t many bands that scream “California” quite like Haim, even when their lead singer is going through a breakup.

And thus brings us to the bands fourth album, I quit, a declarative statement on the Haim sisters’ experience with relationships and the expectations that come with it.

Haim fans (and I know there are many of you here) will know this album does not feature Ariel Rechtshaid, with whom lead singer/guitarist Danielle Haim split after nine years. With his absence we have a far heavier influence of Vampire Weekend founder Rostam Batmanglij, which delivers a much softer sound than anything Haim have produced before.

This album also continues the journey the band have been on since Women In Music Pt III, one of the best collections of music put together this decade. WIMP3 was the most eclectic collection of music the Haim sisters assembled, and this album is a further departure from the indie-rock roots from which they built their initial fame.

So here we are then, led into a glimpse of the sisters’ lives as mostly single women (bassist Este Haim is engaged). The theme opens with a declartive statement from lead singer Danielle Haim: “Can I have your attention please Can I have your attention, please? / For the last time before I leave / On second thought, I change my mind /Been in this graveyard all my life”

“Freedom!” rings in the background, borrowing from George Michael, setting up the stage for the next phase of the triumvirate’s journey.

But the opening lyrics also give an insight into some of the struggles this album finds itself in, sometimes caught in between thoughts. That’s where it falls short at times, and where editing could be needed.

Songs like Lucky stars and Million years both show that maybe Haim could’ve done some editing. What this album ultimately lacks is the bite that Days are Gone and WIMP3 had.

It’s easy for the songs to bleed into each other with far less variation than the record’s predecessor, which is why Relationships is such a great change of pace. Sure, it doesn’t quite work as a single. But this springy R&B track is exactly what the album needs to not be boring. Frankly, it’s brilliant when not played in isolation from the rest of the track listing.

Other songs on this album feature the associations one would have with breakups and relationships. The biggest one, of course, is the whole idea of quitting altogether. The sisters are, frankly, done. And they’re happy to reclaim their authority over chauvanistic men whilst also dreaming of times when boys weren’t such a thing. Take me back, sung in a a brighter song-speak style than Lou Reed might’ve employed, brings us there.

Now, the band released many singles in the lead-up to the release of this album. Some of their best work might’ve gotten lost amidst all of this. There’s two I wanna bring to mind in particular: The farm and Cry.

Fitzie’s track of the day, part one: Cry, by Haim

Haim is strongest when all three sisters are on the same page and lifting each other up. That’s what we get with The farm, almost a part two to WIMP3’s Hallelujah.

But the song that might be the most refreshing is Este Haim’s lead vocal debut with Cry, which offers a beautiful texture that breaks through an album which could’ve sounded the same. That’s part of the benefits of having three strong vocalists. It’s very 90s in the most spectacular way. And it doesn’t hurt that the melody reminds me of Boy Blue from Electric Light Orchestra (if an octave or two lower).

So where does that leave us? Close to the end, with Blood on the streets And Now it’s time. The album finished one song too many.

I understand what Haim wanted to do here, and that was to bring the refrain from the opening track back - courtesy of borrowing some inspiration from U2’s Numb. It’s good, but it doesn’t quite deliver the same emotional punch as Blood on the street.

As of today, I would place this album third of the four Haim have put out (behind WIMP 3 and Days Are Gone). I don’t think it’ll be remembered as their best.

But what’s more important is that we’re seeing a band continuing to evolve, and that’s very exciting. Listen back to The Wire and then listen to Down to be wrong, and then maybe you’ll understand how the three sisters are expanding their sound.

It’s an excting adventure, and I’m looking forward to see where they go from here.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Blood on the street, by Haim

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Tottenham set to sign Japan international defender Kota Takai”

Alasdair Gold: “Sweeping Tottenham changes continue as top man placed on gardening leave”

BBC: “Man Utd make improved £60m bid for striker Mbeumo”

Independent: “The six-minute implosion which led Chelsea to defeat at Club World Cup”

ESPN: “Source: Forest agree to deal for Juventus’ Weah, Mbangula”

And now for your Haim links:

The New York Times: “For Haim, a Breakup Is an Inspiration”

Vogue: “Haim Isn’t Answering to Anyone”

Slate: “On Haim’s New Breakup Album, They Also Split With a Key Collaborator”

Pitchfork reviews I Quit

The Atlantic: “The New Old Sound of Adult Anxiety”

The New Yorker: “Haim Sets Off on a Rampage”

The Guardian: “Haim: I Quit review – the messiest breakup album of recent times, in every sense”

Los Angeles Times: “Haim’s new album gives vivid shape to a hard-to-define phase”

Variety: “Haim Takes a Rocky Path to Romantic Resignation in ‘I Quit’: Album Review”

Who’s ready for an out-of-nowhere transfer report involving a player you’ve never heard of? Well considering 30 minutes ago I was still thinking about Turkish media sources, I can count myself as one of them. There is a new report out of Japan’s Sponichi Annex that states that Tottenham Hotspur has reached an agreement for a £5m transfer of 20-year-old Kawasaki Frontale central defender Kota Takai.

Who? Yeah, I thought the same! Thankfully we have a J-League watcher in the Carty Free Slack channel who was able to give some context to what would be a very out of the box transfer, but one that could pay significant dividends.

In short, Takai is considered one of Japan’s best defenders, and despite not playing any football (yet) outside of the J-League, he is an extremely well regarded player. This Medium post by Trym Sorum takes an in-depth look at Takai, and the picture it paints is pretty exciting. He looks like a player who’s young and inexperienced, but with bags of talent and an impossibly high ceiling. He’s right footed, but can and has played on both the right and left in the back line. He made his Japan debut last September and currently has two caps for his country.

Honestly, the excerpt below makes him look like a defender who would excel in Ange Postecoglou’s high line system, but I have no doubt that Thomas Frank could get a tune out of him too. I tend to hate when publications call a young player “the [Nationality] [Player Who’s Really Good]” but this same piece calls Takai “The Japanese van Dijk” and honestly, that’s pretty exciting.

Koto Takai’s combination of physical dominance, ball-playing ability, and tactical awareness makes him one of the most exciting young defenders in the J-League. At just 20, he has the potential to develop into an elite center-back. His physical profile sets him apart, but his technical ability and reading of the game position him as a modern defender capable of thriving in Europe’s top leagues.However, his tendency to step out of defense can appear borderline reckless at times, as he aggressively pursues the ball and opposition attackers. While this approach has proven effective in the J-League, benefiting from his physical attributes, it raises questions about how he might fare against higher-level opposition. Could this leave his team exposed to quick transitions and counterattacks, particularly in a league with faster and more technical forwards?

On the other hand, his strengths could shine in a system that plays a dominating style with a high defensive line, where his proactive defending and ability to anticipate play would be assets.

With the right development and tactical environment, Takai could emerge as a key defensive figure in European football, embodying the attributes of the modern center-back. It will be fascinating to see which club secures his signature and how he adapts to higher levels of competition.

Translating an article, like the Sponichi Annex article where this report originated, is always a little tricky, but the language from the translation makes it sound as though the deal isn’t entirely done — just a general framework, but they make it sound as though Tottenham is the most likely destination for Takai this summer. The £5m fee (about ¥1bn) would be a league-record fee for a player from the J-League.

What’s interesting is that if Spurs were to acquire Takai it would seemingly put him in direct competition with a player like Luka Vuskovic, who is joining Spurs from Hajduk Split after a very successful season on loan at Westerlo. It could also indicate that Spurs might be willing to roll with a first team central defense stable of Cuti Romero, Micky van de Ven, Kevin Danso, Radu Dragusin, and one of Takai/Vuskovic/Ashley Phillips. How you feel about that fact might also correspond with how you feel with a potential transfer for a young Japanese CB instead of, say, Marc Guehi. That’s certainly a conversation and/or argument that can be had! Or maybe Takai would be sent out on loan for a season (along with or instead of Vuskovic) to get him adapted to English football.

Everything I’m reading about Takai makes me pretty damn excited, even if he’s one of those players who might not hit his peak for a few seasons. Again, we’re relying on one translated report from Japan that may or may not require some cultural interpretation, but if a £5m fee for Takai can be agreed I think it’s one of those swing-for-the-fences signings that Spurs should absolutely be making. Watch this space, because if this goes anywhere we’ll start to see it in the major English papers pretty soon.

Fam, I’ll be honest — the revelation last week that there’s a semi-reliable journalist working in the Turkish sports media has me SHOOK. I don’t know what to believe anymore, it has rattled me to my core. Do... do I need to start paying attention to ALL Turkish media now? What if I ignore something because a player’s linked to a Super Lig club and then it happens? Will my reputation survive? Someone help!

That said, Tottenham Hotspur are clearly in Stealth Mode™ which means we’re going to announce Victor Osimhen shortly, right? In the meantime, let’s talk about a Turkish media rumor because honestly... it’s kinda plausible and there’s not much else going on.

Look at me, going against all of my deeply held convictions! Next article will be about a hypothetical swap deal, just watch.

Turkish outlet Posta has an article this morning that links Tottenham striker Richarlison to Galatasaray. The gist is that Gala, who inexplicably had Victor Osimhen at the club last season on loan from Napoli, would like to keep him (lol) but that they’re looking at other options as a backup, just in case. Richarlison is viewed as one of those backup options.

It’s not as crazy as it sounds! You might recall that Galatasaray recently signed Leroy Sane on a free transfer and on ridiculous wages, and Fenerbahce is also linked with Son Heung-Min, which means there’s clearly money floating around the Super Lig right now. Richy is one of the players who is most likely to leave the club this summer, not because he’s not good but because the poor guy just can’t stay healthy anymore playing Premier League football.

So is this transfer rumor real? Buddy, I have no clue. Probably not? Maybe? Possibly? But is it PLAUSIBLE — yeah, sure, why not. I suspect Richy could be had for a pretty reasonable fee (Posta says €20m which honestly feels about right) and Galatasaray are likely to offer comparable (or maybe better?) wages than he’s currently getting. The big question is whether a move to Turkey would be acceptable to him, as he still clearly wants to be a part of the Brazil set up with the World Cup looming. Richarlison is also linked with a return to Everton, and that feels like a more likely option at this point. But hey — I wouldn’t rule anything out just yet.

IDK, y’all. I just wrote 400 words on a Turkish media rumor and it doesn’t feel great! But that’s what happens when the guy heading up your transfer operations runs an operation tighter than a duck’s ass. Honestly, Paratici can’t start work soon enough.

Programming note: As many of you are aware, Friday’s hoddled polled who you’d like to be the next hoddle hero. Your next hoddle hero will be revealed on Wednesday.

———

Sampdoria are staying up - and in dramatic fashion!

We have been on the Sampdoria beat for a whole three weeks. For those of you paying attention, it’s been incredible interesting.

First, Sampdoria suffered relegation to Serie C (pretty much a black hole) for the first time in their history. Then they got bumped up to the relegation playoffs because of financial irregularities at Brescia.

Sampdoria won the first leg of the Serie B relegation playoffs against Salernitana 2-0. Salernitana then requested the reverse fixture be delayed due to food poisoning.

Well, that reverse leg happened on Sunday, and it seemed dramatic.

Sampdoria were up 2-0 before the fixture was suspended because of fan disorder.

According to the BBC, fans in Salerno threw firecrackers, flares and chairs onto the pitch after Sampdoria took a 4-0 aggregate lead with about 25 minutes still to be played. Riot police attempted to restore order as players were moved to the dressing room, but the match was ultimately abandoned after fans continued to hurl objects on the pitch.

So there you have it. The club that Harry Winks was once loaned to avoided abject humiliation - for now.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Tokyo Rush, by Haruomi Hosono

And now for your links:

The Atheltic ($$): “The Business of Football: Why Tottenham have not been bought, and how much are Wrexham worth?”

Remember Dennis Cirkin? A Tottenham Hotspur academy graduate and fullback, Cirkin was highly rated by Football Knowers™ but found his path to the first team more or less blocked. Spurs sold him to Sunderland in 2021 for around £1m.

Now, four years later, Cirkin has turned into a pretty decent fullback, Sunderland have promoted to the Premier League, and Tottenham need homegrown and club trained players to comply with Champions League squad construction. According to the Northern Echo, Tottenham are considering coming back on for their old academy grad, where he would serve as a rotational and backup LB behind Destiny Udogie.

In some ways this is pretty unfortunate timing. When they sold him to Sunderland, then in League One, for cheap, they included a £6m buy-back clause that expired last season when Cirkin was injured. So that no longer comes into play. Sunderland don’t especially want to let him go and can now charge whatever they feel Cirkin’s worth is, although it should be noted that Cirkin is entering into his last season at the Stadium of Light. That said, Spurs also had an undisclosed sell-on clause in Cirkin’s contract, and that could help ameliorate some of what Sunderland would want for him, so Spurs would be in a decent position.

And Cirkin has turned into a pretty tidy player. He was always appreciated well by the academy coaches, and he’s become a regular with the Black Cats over the past few seasons. The Echo say that Cirkin was a key player in Sunderland’s promotion campaign in the Championship last season.

I don’t know if Cirkin would ever become first choice at Spurs, but bringing him home would be kind of neat. He’d get to return to a familiar location, would absolutely get a good amount of first team football with Spurs in multiple competitions, and would likely be had at a pretty affordable price. While the price isn’t listed, I say — sure, let’s go for him! Why not?

Okay. We’ve gone through the squad. We’ve looked at who should be an integral part of the squad next season, who could find greener pastures elsewhere, and who needs further development; so how does that all fit together?

Now that we’ve assessed Spurs’ current player cadre, it’s time to shift from the individual to the strategic. How do the players fit into Frank’s tactics? What does the squad depth look like in key positions? And where do the Spurs front office need to invest going forward?

Before we get started, it may pay to familiarize yourself with the prior pieces in this series, which we will be referencing a fair amount:

The Goalkeepers

The Center Backs

The Fullbacks

The Midfield

The Wingers

The Strikers

Right, let’s jump in.

Frank’s Tactics

Before we look at the squad in totality, it’s important to briefly look at how Thomas Frank uses his squad. Though he is typically quite flexible with his formations, there is a pattern to that flexibility, as well as some core principles as to how he likes his teams to play. I’ll be doing a more in-depth write-up on the latter, but here’s the Cliff’s Notes.

Firstly, it’s my belief that Frank will set up his side largely in a 4-3-3 or 4-2-3-1 formation. Frank used the 4-3-3 almost exclusively in Brentford’s Championship promotion campaign, before largely switching to either a three- or five-at-the-back structure in Brentford’s first season in the Premiership. As time has gone on, and Brentford have improved and become more of a Premier League staple, Frank has relied more and more once again on a back four. When he does utilize a back three / five, it tends to be almost exclusively when he wants his sides to operate more defensively against a team he perceives to be stronger.

Last season, Frank’s most used formation was a 4-2-3-1, with a 4-3-3 used a chunk as well. The key difference between these two tends to be the midfield structure in buildup, with the 4-2-3-1 utilizing more of a double pivot, but the 4-3-3 making use of either a single pivot, or a slightly more conservative structure where the midfield three operate in more of a pendulum fashion, with the two players sitting deeper dependent on the side of the pitch from which the play is originating.

A couple of other principles to note:

Frank likes his sides to build from deep

With that said, he is not afraid to play direct, either over the center backs or through the channels

He likes to often switch play, requiring some ambitious passing at times from deep

He likes his wingers to often start wide and high, but make runs into the channels

He also likes to utilize crosses, especially from the half-spaces, with his tactics in attack often engineered to allow players to deliver from those positions - whether that be the wingers, attacking midfielders, or fullbacks

Keep that in mind as we look at the squad.

Here’s our starting point after I have brutalized Spurs’ squad. I’ll lay out in more detail further down as to what this looks like in terms of depth at each position, but there’s a couple of takeaways from this overview.

Firstly, Spurs’ depth isn’t terrible! That is, if they make the requisite investments. I’ve mentioned through this series what I view as vitally important moves to make, with a new CM, winger, and defender the priorities, in that order. I mentioned above that Frank often likes quick switches of play from deep, regularly utilizing the passing range of one of his midfielders to create space for his forwards. The problem here is that Spurs don’t really have any deep long passers. The closest options are Lucas Bergvall, who is still extremely raw on the ball, and Rodrigo Bentancur, who is more of a jack-of-all-trades type than somebody especially known for their passing.

The winger situation becomes a little more intriguing now that Spurs have locked in Mathys Tel, who I think will be excellent under Thomas Frank. It does make the many links to wingers in the media interesting as well, with my thinking Spurs are more likely to sell to buy. That’s why I have an asterisk next to Son, Johnson, and Odobert. I’d assessed Johnson as a sell if the right offer came in, but if it didn’t, and Sonny opted to head elsewhere (which is starting to sound more and more like a plausible option), then that frees up a slot. Alternatively, Odobert could go out on loan to get more minutes under his belt and to continue his development. There’s a player there, but he’s still very raw.

It still seems clear as well that Spurs need an extra defender. For me, I saw enough evidence last season that Ben Davies is now in physical decline, and if we are going into the season with him as our fourth center back / main left-sided backup, I think Spurs will have problems. We know Micky van de Ven has a pretty sordid injury history (even before coming to Spurs) and so we need somebody reliable in that spot; even better if they can also cover at left back.

The other signings I have suggested are in midfield. I think there could be a lot of utility in adding another attacking midfielder, particularly one that could deputize out wide. Lastly, if Spurs moved on both Bentancur and Bissouma, there would be a need for a second central midfielder to round things out. If the club are confident in Sarr and Bergvall to cover that second central role, then it’s possible they could look for a younger, high-upside option.

So what does the depth look like in each position?

I’ve broken down the team by position, and then assigned players to each. I’ve then split the positions into a few groupings: the First XI, key backups, rotation options (players who are either First XI or backups in a different position but could cover here as well), and youth. One thing to note is that rather than splitting the central midfielders into a #6 and #8, I have split them into “passer” and “runner” roles - quite similar to the #6 and #8, but not as how you may have thought of them under Ange Postecoglou.

You can see that if the aforementioned player signings are made, things are actually looking pretty healthy! Arguably striker is the position of least depth; but all of Son, Tel, Kulusevski, and Johnson (if Son heads away instead) can cover there in a pinch. That’s without taking into account the fact that Frank doesn’t necessarily need a target-man type striker for his “system” to work, happily using forwards who can either run in behind (like Tel and Johnson), or drop deep and facilitate for the wingers (Kulusevski).

It does as well indicate that if Spurs sign another defender, time could be limited for Archie Gray. It could be the case that Spurs opt to send him on a loan to get more regular playing time - I would be willing to bet a number of lower-level Prem teams or Championship sides would be more than happy to take him on.

We can take a little bit more of a detailed look at depth by laying it out in numbers comparing the coming season to 2024/25:

In these numbers, I have included each player only once (so removing the rotation options, and just assigning a player to each position), with the “+” numbers indicating where the player is a youth player, or “break glass in case of emergency” option.

Starting with the keepers, you can see there is a drop-off - but that’s not a bad thing in this case. At the end of last season, Forster was never going to see the pitch, and Austin had been supplanted by Kinsky coming in. The emergency option there was Alfie Whiteman, who was never going to play. It is very, very unlikely that Spurs end up requiring a fourth keeper.

The center back numbers in my proposed squad have stayed the same; with Dragusin heading out, and a new defender heading in. The fullback numbers are down one, but only due to losing Reguilon, who again, was only an emergency case who barely saw the pitch.

In midfield, the central midfield options have stayed steady, with an extra youth option in the shape of Alfie Devine being added to the numbers; likewise at the #10 - though I have shuffled some players around in that particular case. I had Kulusevski at the #10 last season, but have shifted him to the wing this season with a new #10 coming in (that’s not to say he won’t play at the #10, just that’s where I have him contributing depth for this exercise).

That leaves us with the forward line. We are one number down there, but remember that Timo Werner was all but banished from the squad in the second half of 24/25, and that Mikey Moore is likely to be much more of a squad contributor this season. There’s also the possibility that Spurs could add another young option (like I mentioned above) or that there’s somebody from the academy the club has its eye on to make up numbers if required.

What about homegrown numbers?

Ah yes - that old chestnut. For the sake of brevity, I won’t go into the rules in detail - rather I’ll be doing a repeat of last year’s piece at some point as the squad starts to move closer towards its final shape (and for now, you can check that out here). The long and short of it is that Spurs are fine when it comes to Premier League homegrown players; but UEFA rules are more restrictive, so that means some tough decisions as to the Champions League squad:

In a nutshell, Spurs have too many players. There is a 25-player limit, with eight of those needing to be association or club-trained (with a maximum of four of those being association-trained). That leaves 17 slots for List A Non-homegrown players, with this proposed squad being two players over that limit.

There’s only really one thing Spurs can do about that (as it is unfortunately not a possibility to use a time machine to make Lucas Bergvall into a List A club-trained player) - and that is to not register players. There’s one obvious name there in the form of Ben Davies (which would then allow the likes of Solanke to shift across to an association-trained spot). Another could be Dejan Kulusevski, depending on the severity of his injury - if he is expected to be out for a significant chunk of the first half of the season, he could be left off the squad list (and then just registered in January, potentially in place of someone else).

And that’s the squad, and the series! We’ve gone through the team with a fine-toothed comb, followed by a sledgehammer (much like the readers have come for my kneecaps in the comments) and this is the end result.

There have been some tough calls, and some easy ones; however, one thing is painfully clear to me, and that is that this squad needs some serious (painful) rebuilding if Spurs are to compete in both the Champions League, and the Premier League this coming season - especially as the sides around Spurs continue to strengthen themselves.

What do you think? Is this a squad Thomas Frank could work with? Where do you see the key areas of investment? Am I just a crazy person yelling at clouds? Feel free to give your thoughts in the comments.

The thing about Tottenham Hotspur transfer rumors right now is that they’re pretty much stuck in limbo. Oh sure we’re seeing plenty of rumors pop up. Some of them are fun and we’re writing about them on this Website Dot Com. But the reality is that until Fabio Paratici officially starts work in July, we’re still more or less stuck in Johan Lange’s Black Box of Nothingness while they work out which transfer targets they really want to focus on and Don Fabio loads his scattergun.

So it’s probably safe to assume that most of the transfer rumors in the news these days are either a) fake or b) agent-driven, possibly with Spurs just calling people and saying “would you? ok, ttyl then.”

That said, this blog needs content, so let’s write about something fun. According to French daily L’Equipe (via Get French Football News), Tottenham are one of two Premier League clubs that are interested in Monaco’s France U21 winger/AM Maghnes Akliouche. And that, gentle readers, kind of rocks.

Akliouche is 23 and has the look of one of those young players that’s about ready to explode if he lands somewhere good and can get a lot of minutes. So in that sense he makes a lot of sense for Tottenham. The kid’s got some SKILLS: he’s technically sharp, tactically progressive, and creative as hell. Last season he had 5g+10a (0.59 xG+xA/90) in Ligue 1 playing mostly as a right winger but also as a central attacking midfielder. That makes him sort of a hybrid 10 — he can dribble, he can pass, and he can take on defenders. The one small knock on him is that he’s underperforming his xG, but he’s still only 23, that can come in the right system, and his primary role is to set up others anyway.

I love this kid. You should love him too. Here’s a fun highlight video with bad music. Volume down for safety, y’all!

L’Equipe is saying that Akliouche will leave Monaco this summer for “the right price.” That price, apparently, is €60m (£51m), and that’s a lot of money for a guy coming off of one good season in France. That said, I honestly think this is a player who is going to make The Leap™ at wherever his next club is, and for that price you’re still buying low.

His hybrid skills and positioning makes me wonder where exactly he might fit in Thomas Frank’s tactics, but I can see him both as an inside forward on the right wing, or pushing Dejan Kulusevski at the 10 in certain formations.

L’Equipe says that the other Premier League club interested in Akliouche is Nottingham Forest, and if Forest ends up signing him I’m going to be very sad. That said, I suspect other clubs will come in for him at some point. The suggestion is that Akliouche’s move might not happen until later in the window, which could suit Spurs just fine.

Spurs need passing and dribbling in their midfield. Magnhes Akliouche would provide both, and has an impossibly high ceiling. This won’t happen, but if it’s me and I’m Johan Lange (I am not Johan Lange) I am on the phone with Monaco today to get the deal done as soon as possible. This kid rules.

The last couple of summer transfer windows I’ve liked to only feature one Tottenham Hotspur related character until Spurs make a signing. The tradition follows the one introduced by my predecessor, Pardeep, during the season in which Tottenham signed no one.

That one summer was the summer of Heung-min Son (and the summer of no signings). The idea at the time was that if there are going to be no signings, at least we get to see Sonny each morning.

We’re waiting for this second summer window to open. And while we’re waiting I thought it’d be good to throw it over to you all to select who your hoddle hero will be this summer.

The nominee will be your hoddle hero until one of the below three happens:

Tottenham Hotspur announce a senior team signing

That player leaves the club

Spurs go through the rest of the season without signing anyone

With that, I’ll get the poll started with 10 players for you to choose from.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Pure, by The Lightning Seeds

And now for your links:

Jay Harris ($$): “Justin Cochrane’s return to Spurs: He’ll plan training, but do more than just put the cones out”

Alasdair Gold: “Tottenham handed FA fine for homophobic chants about Mikel Arteta and Mason Mount in Man Utd win”

It took awhile, but we finally got some Thomas Frank #content from Tottenham Hotspur. Nearly a week elapsed between the time Spurs announced that Frank was taking over as head coach from Ange Postecoglou and when we started seeing actual photos and videos of Frank wearing Tottenham apparel. That delay was reportedly due to the fact that Frank was still on vacation when the appointment took place, and it takes time to film and edit interviews and videos.

But we finally got it, and Frank’s first interview is in the header of this article. You may have seen this already, but if you haven’t, it’s absolutely worth watching. You get a sense of who Thomas Frank is in this video — his background, his methodology, the way he interacts with people, and the way he loves to collaborate. He also talks about his intention to create “attacking, front-foot football” at Spurs, which is exciting to hear.

Frank is intelligent, loquacious, and a forthright communicator. He’s not too far from Ange in that regard, but in a different way. Watching this video, I’m excited for the future.

Considering how big a hit last week’s Danish fun facts were, your hoddler-in-chief thought it would be a good topic to revisit (I promise, no tennis this time).

There’s so much to enjoy and appreciate about Denmark. Too much for a single hoddle. That’s why we’re now in plural territory. Let’s get to it, baby.

Fun fact: Legos were invented in Denmark. How cool is that ??

Fun fact: Danes love snuggliness and cozniess. But, really, who doesn’t love a bit of “hygge”? Your hoddler-in-chief sure does. Grab your blankets, fam.

Fun fact: Bicycling is a major part of Danish culture, and it’s a major method of transportation. Denmark also hosted the first three stages of the 2022 Tour de France.

Fun fact: Wanna get your beach on? No problem, dear hoddlers. You’ll never be more than 32 miles away from the sea wherever you are in Denmark.

Fun fact: Holger Danske

Fun fact: Denmark produced your hoddler-in-chief’s favourite book, We, The Drowned. It’s an epic novel involving three generations lasting more than a century about the ship-faring town of Marstal. I highly recommend it.

Fun fact: There is no Danish word for “please”.

Fun fact: Denmark has only one land border. That’s with Germany. The opening chapters of We, The Drowned featured a war between Denmark and Germany int the 1800s.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Territorial Call of the Female, by Bodega

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Which Premier League team has the toughest start to the 2025-26 season?”

Alasdair Gold: “Every word Thomas Frank said on his Tottenham plans, classy Postecoglou touch, Levy and no Son”

The Guardian: “FA charge Chelsea’s Mudryk with doping offences”

ESPN: “Pochettino: USMNT not playing to get revenge on critics”

National Geographic (from September): “Why ‘Everything is Awesome’ in Billund, the home of Lego”