Cartilage Free Captain

Last week we were all flying high after another big win over Manchester City at the Etihad. Today, Tottenham Hotspur were brought back to earth, losing 0-1 to Bournemouth at home and once again heading into an international break on the back of a loss.

It’s not like it was a close match, either — the one goal defeat doesn’t tell the whole story. Spurs were pretty much dominated from the start, and played one of worst matches I’ve seen from them in the past year or so. Some pretty terrible performances and only some wasteful shooting and some keeper heroics from Guglielmo Vicario kept Spurs from being run out of their own stadium. Real bad, folks.

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Rate the players from 1⁄2 to 5 stars. If the player doesn’t deserve a rating due to minutes played, DO NOT RANK. I will round the stars up/down to the nearest half-star for the player ratings later this week.

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Tottenham Hotspur returned to their home turf today for their final Premier League fixture before the first international break of the season, hosting Bournemouth in what many thought would be an exciting encounter. Instead, fans witnessed something of a bloodbath, as Bournemouth took the fight to Spurs, dominating proceedings at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

Both sides came out victors in their respective matches in the previous round, and Thomas Frank and Andoni Iraola probably felt loath to change up a good thing, naming unchanged starting lineups. The only questions coming in the form of bench spots: Destiny Udogie and Manor Solomon made returns to the Spurs squad, but Yves Bissouma and Dominic Solanke were mysteriously missing.

A bright start by Spurs forced Djordje Petrovic into an early save, but it was Bournemouth who opened the scoring via Evanilson. Marcos Senesi found the Brazilian forward in acres of space in the Spurs penalty area, due in part to Djed Spence playing Evanilson onside, and the shot took a wicked deflection to loop over Guglielmo Vicario. Antoine Semenyo then almost made it two within the first quarter hour, his headed effort narrowly over the bar.

The Lilywhites looked all at sea, with Bournemouth breaking through the previously stout Spurs defense at will, and the home side barely unable to get past the halfway line. A couple of Spurs’ defensive cadre in the form of Romero and Pedro Porro remonstrated on more than one occasion with their midfield counterparts, unable to find an outlet for a simple forward pass. Without mustering a single shot or corner, Spurs deserved to go into the half a goal down.

Semenyo almost doubled Bournemouth’s lead once more early in the second half, latching onto a long ball forward and unleashing a shot across the face of goal. Only an excellent save by Guglielmo Vicario saved Spurs’ blushes, but it felt like an omen unless changes came quickly. Chaos ensued in the following moments, with a long throw bouncing around the penalty area, Vicario making another incredible save, a penalty shout for the Cherries, and then Bournemouth hitting the crossbar. Semenyo could have been sent off too, already on a yellow and taking down Richarlison as he looked to break forward.

Thomas Frank had seen enough, as he rung the changes, bringing on Lucas Bergvall, Wilson Odobert, Destiny Udogie, and Mathys Tel throughout the remainder of the match as Spurs searched for an equalizer. Spurs improved, but still couldn’t find a way through a determined Bournemouth defensive effort, slumping to a deserved 0-1 loss.

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That went… poorly.

That first half was incredibly bad. Up there with the worst of a number of awful performances we’ve seen over the last five years or so.

Spurs’ lack of passing in midfield was laid bare by Bournemouth’s pressing. There were glimpses of it at times against City, but Bournemouth’s excellent structures capitalized on Palhinha’s inability to pass a football anywhere other than ten yards to the nearest center back. Bentancur was awful as well, misplacing routine passes.

What worked against City in this case was going direct, with runners off Richarlison up front. Unfortunately, Richy was woeful today, and absolutely bullied by the Bournemouth defense. He should have been given fouls on a number of occasions, but as soon as the referee determined that was the way he was calling things, the Brazilian was on a hiding to nothing.

Would’ve been really useful to have the perma-fit Solanke to bring on in Richy’s place, right? RIGHT?

Bournemouth really used width well, pulling the fullbacks wide then exploiting the space between the center back and fullback. Weirdly, in preseason we saw Frank’s side cover this quite well, with the midfielders tracking runners into the penalty area to prevent square balls or shots; so why didn’t it happen today?

The changes Frank made were good ones, but too slow. Changes needed to happen at halftime, instead, Frank delayed the inevitable and gave the team another 10 minutes. Whatever.

When was the last time you saw two foul throws called in a match? Neither were great, but you see those let go all the time. It was part of an oddly pedantic yet inconsistent refereeing performance which played right into Bournemouth’s hands.

Let’s just chalk this one off as a bad day at the office and move on, shall we? COYS.

We’ve known it’s been coming for a few weeks, but now it’s official: Tottenham Hotspur’s 19-year-old Croatian wunderkind central defender Luka Vuskovic is heading to the Bundesliga this season, signing a one-year loan deal with Hamburger SV in Germany.

We’ve already talked a couple of times about how good a loan this probably is but it’s worth saying again: Hamburg just got promoted to the top flight, and so this is a great opportunity for Vuskovic to get another year of seasoning up a significant level from last year. Luka spent last season on loan with Westerlo in Belgium, crushing it and turning a lot of heads. Now he’ll likely play significant minutes in a top-five league against genuinely good opposition. Germany is a good place to go especially if you’re a young defender still polishing your craft. I love this loan and hope he nails down a regular starting role this season.

It appears that Spurs were dragging their feet on finalizing this loan, trying to figure out if they’d go for a reserve central defender this week or just keep Luka around as depth. This is a better move for him, I think. He’s clearly in Spurs’ long-term plans and by going out on a “dry” loan (i.e. no purchase option or obligation) he’ll get invaluable experience that should directly transfer to the Premier League in time.

It’s a Very Newsy Friday if you’re a Tottenham Hotspur fan. One of the little tidbits of info comes from the Daily Mail’s northwest football correspondent (and also a certain other social media journalist but let’s go with the Mail for now), and states that Tottenham have made a late approach for £15m-rated Manchester City defender Manuel Akanji.

Akanji is linked with both Crystal Palace (most likely in the event that someone swoops for Marc Guehi) and AC Milan (who reportedly have agreed a fee with City but have not agreed personal terms). Akanji, 30, is a Swiss international who I could’ve sworn was six years younger than he actually is. He has yet to play a minute for City this season but had over 2000 minutes last year, playing as a central defender and also occasionally as a right back. He’s got a bit of a wand of a right foot, as evident by his FBRef bars — he’s certainly not afraid to pass out from the back and is actually quite good at it, which makes him a decent fit as a rotation option for Thomas Frank’s tactics.

Targeting Akanji, who can deputize at right back if needed, also suggests Frank and Spurs think that Djed Spence is just a left back now, and they’re now looking for additional right back cover. Akanji is currently on about £180k/wk at City which is a lot for what is ostensibly a 4th CB position, fighting with Radu Dragusin for minutes, but maybe Spurs think that a short term deal on high wages is perfectly fine, or perhaps he’s willing to take a pay cut. Either way, this is the kind of defender Spurs should be looking at as a reserve CB — older, experienced, able to step in as needed but not the kind to kick up a fuss if they don’t get regular minutes. Basically “Ben Davies but better.” Signing Akanji probably also means we’re taking the long view on Kota Takai, which also is fine.

Akanji is reportedly one of three CBs Tottenham are targeting in the window, and we don’t know who the other two are. If Fabio Paratici has taken the wheel in the transfer war room, then we might not end up signing Akanji at all, but I’m perfectly okay with this kind of rumor. He’s a solid enough player and the kind of dude who can definitely do a job.

It’s Good News Friday! Right on the heels of the news that Tottenham is set to sign Xavi Simons from RB Leipzig, gazumping Chelsea in the process, we get this — Djed Spence has been called up to the England squad by Thomas Tuchel for the upcoming international break! This is Djed’s first senior England call-up; he had six England U21 caps prior.

This is after Spence has put in a series of impressive performances for Tottenham, playing ostensibly out of position at left back. He was a standout performer against both Burnley and Manchester City, both Spurs wins, and was also impressive in preseason matches, especially against PSG in Asia. Spence stepped into the role after the preseason injury to Destiny Udogie, and based on current evidence he’s unlikely to give up the starting job anytime soon.

Spence is the only Tottenham player to get a call-up this cycle, though there are two “almost-Spurs” in Eberechi Eze and Morgan Gibbs-White. Oh, and there’s that other guy, Harry… something. England will play two matches in the upcoming international break, both World Cup qualifiers — home to Andorra on September 6, and away to Serbia on September 9.

You know what I’ve always said: It’s never too early in the season to take a look at the lower leagues. This one provides a pretty interesting look at how things are shaping out early doors.

Let’s not waste time and dive straight into it

League One:

It’s been a rough start for Luton Town, who are finding life pretty tough right now. They were favourites to go straight back up but are solidly midtable after losses to Cardiff and Bradford City. Could that be seen as a barometer for their level this season? After all, those two clubs are both in the top four.

Elsewhere, there are some even more interesting names in the bottom. I don’t think you could’ve expected Wycombe, Reading or Peterborough to occupy three of the four relegation spots this early into the season.

Top six:

Cardiff (13 Pts, +6 GD)

Huddersfield (12 Pts, +7 GD)

Stevenage (12 Pts, +4 GD)

Bradford City (11 Pts, +3 GD)

Stockport (10 Pts, +3 GD)

Barnsley (10 Pts, +2 GD)

Bottom four:

Wycombe (2 Pts, -3 GD)

Port Vale (2 Pts, -3 GD)

Reading (2 Pts, -5 GD)

Peterborough (1 Pt, - 6 GD)

League Two:

I have less to say here, but would like to point out that Manchester Untied lost to Grimsby Town, the fourth-placed team in League Two, earlier this week.

Grimsby Town can now add United to the list of opponents they’ve beaten so far this season including Walsall, Newport County and Shrewsbury.

Top seven:

Crewe Alexandra (12 Pts, +7 GD)

Chesterfield (12 Pts, +3 GD)

MK Dons (11 Pts, +8 GD)

Grimsby Town (11 Pts, +5 GD)

Gillingham (11 Pts, +5 GD)

Bromley (9 Pts, +3 GD)

Bottom two:

Shrewsbury (1 Pt, -10 GD)

Cheltenham (0 Pts, -10 GD)

National League

It’s been pretty rare to see Forest Green Rovers in the National League for two consecutive years, but here we are. Such a shame to see them here after they made it all the way to League One just a couple of years ago.

Otherwise, it’s nice to see Scunthorpe continue their climb up the ladder after securing promotion from the Northern League last season. Also, this is the first time I’ve heard of Truro City.

Top seven:

Forest Green (10 Pts, +7 GD)

Hartlepool (10 Pts, +7 GD)

Southend (10 Pts, +6 GD)

Rochdale (9 Pts, +6 GD)

Scunthorpe (9 Pts, +4 GD)

Wealdstone (9 Pts, +3 GD)

Carlisle (8 Pts, +3 GD)

Bottom four:

FC Halifax (3 Pts, -4 GD)

Sutton United (2 Pts, -5 GD)

Truro City (0 Pts, -7 GD)

Woking (0 Pts. -8 GD)

Fitzie’s track of the day: Re-Make/Re-Model, by Roxy Music

And now for your links:

Alasdair Gold: “Xavi Simons to Tottenham transfer reality clear amid Chelsea fear”

Jack P-B ($$): “Tottenham Hotspur’s Champions League draw: Back to Bodo/Glimt, another PSG test”

BBC: “Man Utd back Amorim as Rooney says club is ‘broken’”

Tottenham Hotspur have returned to the Champions League after winning the Europa League last spring over Manchester United. Now, they know who they will be playing. The draw just completed in Monaco, and as per the new Swiss Method rules, Spurs were drawn against eight teams, four home and four away, from each of the four pots.

Here are their opponents:

Borussia Dortmund (H) - Pot 1

Paris Saint-Germain (A) - Pot 1

Villarreal (H) - Pot 2

Eintracht Frankfurt (A) - Pot 2

Slavia Praha (H) - Pot 3

Bodø/Glimt (A) - Pot 3

Copenhagen (H) - Pot 4

Monaco (A) - Pot 4

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Well, this is a manageable draw if nothing less. It’s pretty middle-of-the-road — Spurs avoided most of the really big fish in Pot 1, though drawing PSG away is never an easy match. Tottenham got a decent draw from Pot 1, a good draw from Pot 2, a decent draw from Pot 3, and a tough draw from Pot 4.

Spurs should take some reassurance that they already know they can hang with PSG as evidence by their preseason friendly in Asia this summer. Playing at the Parc des Princes is a little different, but that’s one I’ll have circled on my calendar.

I’m encouraged by the Pot 2 draws - Villarreal at home is solid, and away to Frankfurt, whom Spurs also played last season in the Europa League, isn’t quite as scary now that they no longer have Omar Marmoush and Hugo Ekitike.

Hey look — another trip to the Arctic Circle! A lot was written about Bodø/Glimt’s home form last season when Spurs played them in the knockout rounds of the Europa League, and we pretty much played them off the (frozen) park. Now Spurs will have a chance to prove that wasn’t a fluke, on a bigger stage. I’m a little disappointed — we just did this — but a trip to Norway is much better than a trip to Kazakhstan or Azerbaijan.

Spurs did pull two of the toughest teams in Pot 4, though. Copenhagen will be a tough matchup, and Spurs then have to travel to Monaco in the Eric Dier Derby. Either of these matches could be banana peels.

Overall — I’m okay with this! If I had my druthers I’d have taken an away trip to, say, the Nou Camp or another tasty home draw against a bigger club, but we avoided teams like Atletico Madrid and Napoli for now, and there are plenty of matches to look forward to this season.

If last season’s predictions hold, Spurs need probably four wins to ensure progression to the knockout round. That feels reasonable with this draw.

Tottenham will find out their match schedule on Saturday when they are released by UEFA. You can view the full Champions League draw at UEFA’s website.

There’s breaking news out of Germany this morning that states Tottenham Hotspur are attempting to GAZUMP the transfer of Xavi Simons to Chelsea. Simons, a 22-year-old Dutch attacker who is currently at RB Leipzig, has had a full agreement to join the Blues for what feels like months now, but his move has been seemingly held up by a number of transfer dominoes that must fall first. Spurs, who are desperate for attacking reinforcements before the end of the transfer window, are looking to take advantage.

BILD also confirms Simons and his agents are already in London to talk to Tottenham, after being given permission from Leipzig to leave training to sort out his future.

“Everything now points – as already reported – for a switch to Premier League club Tottenham where Xavi and its entourage are holding further talks today, Thursday. This is also about financial matters. From England it can be known that Xavi has very concrete (and high) ideas when it comes to wages.

“Also important: Tottenham has not yet made an official offer. But figures have already been exchanged orally between the clubs in the first exploratory talks.”

— BILD

So there it is. If BILD is correct, this comes down to not just transfer fee, but money. Specifically wages. Simons is reportedly on about £100k/wk and maybe we can extrapolate from the above that he wants something like twice that. Whatever the case, it looks like Spurs could be willing to offer more in wages than Chelsea, which opens the door to a genuine gol-dang gazumping. They certainly have the space in their wage-t0-turnover ratio to do so.

Look, we’ve all been hurt before, so I understand if you don’t want to open your heart to the idea of actually gazumping Chelsea for a player (rather than the other way around). But Simons could be a really good addition to this Tottenham side. He can play anywhere across the front line and had 15+10a last season for Leipzig in all competitions. He’s good, and if there’s an opportunity to snatch him from under Chelsea’s nose, well that’d be ok with me. It doesn’t mean it’s going to happen, but at this stage in the transfer window Spurs pretty much need to take another swing for the fences.

Heung-min Son may have moved to sunny Sonny Los Angeles, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop hoddling about him.

Sonny recently threw out the first pitch at the Los Angeles Dodgers’ baseball game against the Cincinnati Reds. And of course he threw it straight down the plate, because he does everything perfectly:

This is a hard video to watch for anyone who is a Tottenham Hotspur and Los Angeles Angels supporter. Those of you who follow the baseball might know that Wednesday was Shohei Ohtani night. People even lined up for hours outside Dodger Stadium ahead of the game in the hopes of securing an Ohtani bobblehead.

Of course, Ohtani is the once-in-a-millennium baseball player who is the most exciting player the sport has seen in a very long time.

Ohtani first made his name in Major League Baseball as a player with the Anaheim Angels, where in 2023 he was unanimously voted as the American League’s most valuable player. He lit up the highlight reels with his status as the game’s only two-way player - ace pitcher and major batter.

Then he broke hearts by signing with the Dodgers - the Angels’ closest geographic rival - in 2024. That year he won the World Series and was voted National League MVP.

So you can see how Sonny throwing out the first pitch on Ohtani night be devastating for a Spurs/Angels supporter. It’s a cruel reminder of what we once had.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Castanets, by Alejandro Escovedo

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Brennan Johnson’s ‘sixth sense’ should make him invaluable to Spurs, regardless of signings”

Standard: “Thomas Frank’s mission to turn Tottenham into title contenders”

BBC: “What next for Man Utd and Amorim after humiliation at Grimsby?”

The Guardian: “Club Brugge pulverise 10-man Rangers to heap misery on Russell Martin”

Tottenham Hotspur have been confirmed in Pot 3 ahead of Thursday’s Champions League group stage draw. Thanks to the reformatting of the Champions League from a series of four-team groups to the so-called “Swiss Model,” being placed in pots no longer really matters that much as they’ll be drawn against two teams from each group, one home and one away. If you want a more detailed look at how it works, you can check out the article I wrote last fall ahead of Spurs’ participation in the Europa League (a competition that Tottenham won. Did you know that? I feel that needs to be emphasized: Tottenham Hotspur won the friggin’ Europa League last season.)

Anyway, here are the confirmed pots, ahead of Thursday’s draw, which will take place at 12:00 p.m. ET / 5:00 p.m. BST in Monaco.

Pot 1

Paris Saint-Germain

Real Madrid

Manchester City

Bayern Munich

Liverpool

Internazionale

Chelsea

Borussia Dortmund

Barcelona

Pot 2

Arsenal

Bayer Leverkusen

Atlético Madrid

Benfica

Atalanta

Villarreal

Juventus

Eintracht Frankfurt

Club Brugge

Pot 3

Tottenham Hotspur

PSV Eindhoven

Ajax

Napoli

Sporting CP

Olympiacos

Slavia Prague

Bodo/Glimt

Marseille

Pot 4

F.C. København

AS Monaco

Galatasaray

Union St.-Gilloise

FK Qarabag

Athletic Club

Newcastle United

Pafos

Kairat Almaty

The rules state that clubs cannot be drawn against other clubs from their own federation in the group stage, nor can they draw more than two clubs from any one federation, so Spurs cannot be drawn against Arsenal, Manchester City, Chelsea, Liverpool, or Newcastle. They CAN draw both Madrid and Barcelona out of Group 1, for example, but then would not be able to be drawn against Athletic Club.

But this is the Champions League, not the Europa League — this is the big leagues and there are some real whales in that draw. That said, Spurs have already proven they can go toe-to-toe with PSG and have beaten Manchester City at the Etihad, so I say: bring it on! It’ll be a challenge to get out of the group stage, and I’d be surprised if they finish in the top eight again like they did last season, but that’s why you play the games.

Honestly, I’d love to see a rematch against PSG, maybe a trip to the Nou Camp just for funzies. Club Brugge looks fun and good, and it’s be fun to kick Robert De Zerbi’s teeth in. There are plenty of beatable teams lower in the table, but all of them will bring their best. And oh look — it’s our good friends Bodø/Glimt, also in Pot 3.

Who would you like Spurs to draw in the group stage tomorrow? Have your say in the comments.