Cartilage Free Captain

Good morning all and welcome to yet another hoddle. The days keep a’coming and so do the hoddles.

I don’t have much for your today. Your hoddler-in-chief needs to run through his finances. So please accept this Grateful Dead yule log in lieu of a hoddle today:

The Grateful Dead have done this yule log for the last few years and it’s quite fun! This edition is currently exploring the Spring of 1990, a very fun year in the Grateful Dead’s storied history.

But listen I don’t have time to type that much more. In fact, at this very moment, I’m only trying to fill some space on this page so I can get to doing my finances.

Sometimes I get away with playing the Grateful Dead yule log when I visit my parents in California. And then they realise that the Mariah Carey song isn’t playing, and then fitzie’s fun is over.

Anyways, that’s the hoddle. Enjoy it.

Enjoy your weekends. We’ll get back to you Monday.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Run Rudolph Run, by Chuck Berry

And now for your links:

The Standard: “Thomas Frank facing nightmare Tottenham scenario in Brentford reunion”

BBC: “Frustration and anger - why ‘huge question marks’ hang over Man Utd”

Variety: “The Best Grateful Dead Merch to Gift the Deadhead in Your Life”

Want some transfer slop to get you through the dark and dreary start of December? Well, I’ve got a piping hot mug of the stuff, courtesy of Sascha Tavolieri and Sky Sports Switzerland. According to Tavolieri, Spurs are one of two Premier League clubs, the other being Liverpool, who are in “advanced talks” with RB Leipzig for the transfer of 19-year-old Ivorian striker Yan Diomonde.

Normally this is the part where I tell you that lol this is a stupid rumor from a not particularly reliable source, and all that is true. Sky’s pretty low on the “tier ratings” and Tavolieri is probably even lower than that. BUT — Yan Diomonde rips, so I want to believe this is a thing.

You say you want a dribbly boi? May I introduce you to The Dribbliest Boi of All?

The sample size is small (just 712 minutes this season), but he has 3g+2a in that short time period, and look at those green bars, people. That’s Actual Production™ in a top five league and he just turned 19. Green bar supremacy doesn’t guarantee success, especially in the Premier League, and I know he’s a young kid that is going to need time to adapt to both the pace and physicality of English football, but holy smokes!

And if you want another data point, check out his FBRef Similar Players list, which when I saw it made my eyes pop out of my head and go AOOOOGAH like a cartoon dog looking at an attractive woman.

Now, look — I know we’re all jaded by the terrible squad management over the past several years. Some of you (yes, you) might even feel a little burned by the other young, talented players Spurs have brought in recently that haven’t exactly set our collective hair on fire. You can also question the wisdom of signing another young attacker when, as currently constructed, Tottenham can’t pass its way out of a paper bag and has a real and concrete need for a dynamic central midfielder. I get that. Diomande is still in that cohort of young players that Spurs should be targeting no matter who the manager is. He’s putting up real numbers for a real team in a real league and is at the point where he hasn’t (yet) inflated his potential transfer fee to absurd numbers. And even if you don’t trust Spurs’ scouting, Liverpool is also involved, and they’re a smart club. We should try and sign some of their targets before they do.

It’s also worth noting that nowhere in this brief report does it say if the targeting for Diomande is this January or next summer. If I had to guess, I’d say we’re working on a pre-agreement for this summer, but I could be wrong. (I sometimes am.)

So, to summarize — an early December transfer rumor, a dubious source, Liverpool is also involved, and there’s no time frame. There’s not exactly a ton to sink your teeth into here. However, this kid rules, and I want this to be true, so I’m putting some votive candles in a circle and sending prayers up to heaven. Let’s manifest this together, fam.

More good news? Maybe? Tottenham Hotspur central defenders Radu Dragusin and Kota Takai haven’t played a minute of action this season as they both recuperate from what has turned out to be long-term injuries, but both of them got critical match minutes in a Spurs U21 match this week, according to the club on social media.

Dragusin injured his ACL in the Europa League match against Elfsborg last January, had surgery, and hasn’t been seen on the pitch since, though he’s been steadily rehabbing and played 45 minutes in a behind-closed-doors friendly last month during the international break. Radu has also been seen in various club videos, including one posted by James Maddison, also rehabbing from a knee injury, in support of his teammate. Takai has just been super unlucky — he picked up a nasty case of plantar fasciitis soon after his signing from Kawasaki Frontale this summer, and then sustained an injury to his thigh which has kept him out even longer. Takai was always going to be considered a depth signing with limited minutes this season, but Spurs fans haven’t watched him play even once this season.

Dragusin in particular struggled under Ange Postecoglou’s high line and progressive tactics as he isn’t particularly strong at playing out of the back, but there’s a line of thinking that he could be more of an asset under Thomas Frank when he returns to the pitch. Certainly having Radu back and healthy would be good for squad rotation with Spurs still participating in three competitions including the Champions League. Spurs are essentially running three deep at CB with Cuti Romero, Micky van de Ven, and Kevin Danso; Van de Ven was rested in yesterday’s 2-2 draw at Newcastle, and putting Radu into the mix would ease some of the strain on all three.

Takai is still an enigma. He’s super young but we have no idea how good a player he is and won’t until we actually get a chance to evaluate him. Even so, I’m going with More Players = Good until further notice.

There are plenty of matches upcoming as Spurs careen into the busy festive fixture season, so hopefully we’ll be able to see both Radu and Kota in action in the next month and beyond.

“When I announced my difficult decision to leave Spurs in the summer, it was in Korea and I never got a proper chance to say goodbye to fans at the stadium.

“Now I am so happy because I am going to come back to London on 9th December, for the Champions League match, and be able to tell the Spurs fans in person just how much their support and love over 10 years has meant to me and my family. It will be emotional, but it’s important for me and the Club that this happens.”

It’s not a loss! Tottenham Hotspur went to Newcastle and came out with a hard-fought 2-2 draw thanks to an unlikely brace from Cuti Romero. But it wasn’t all positive news. Once again Tottenham did not have a single shot on target until late in the match — in this case until Cuti’s headed goal. In fact, Spurs had exactly two shots on target, both goals, and finished under 1.0 xG again.

Lots of stuff to talk about in this one. It’s time to rate the players.

Rate the players from 1⁄2 to 5 stars. If the player doesn’t deserve a rating due to minutes played, DO NOT RANK. I will round the stars up/down to the nearest half-star for the player ratings later this week.

If you’re on mobile or found this via AMP and the survey isn’t appearing below, here’s a direct link.

Tottenham Hotspur didn’t lose today! OK, they also didn’t WIN, but hey — baby steps. Spurs went to St. James’ Park three days after a humiliating loss to Fulham, a stadium that’s been a house of horrors for them over the past several years, and showed an incredible amount of resilience to come back from behind twice in the second half. Toon’s Bruno Guimaraes opened the scoring in the 71st minute with another goal from outside of Spurs’ area, but Tottenham club captain Cuti Romero thumped in an equalizer seven minutes later to level the score.

Newcastle went ahead again late through Anthony Gordon from the spot after a controversial VAR assisted penalty after Rodrigo Bentancur was ajudged to have fouled Dan Burn on a corner, only for Romero to equalize virtually at the death with a spectacular overhead kick goal. The final score ended 2-2 — in the end a pretty good result with a decent 2nd half performance against a good team on the road.

Tottenham played a football match just three days ago, so Frank used the opportunity to rest a few key players, including MIcky van de Ven, who started on the bench alongside Xavi Simons. Kevin Danso started in the back line alongside Cuti Romero, who returned from his one match suspension for yellow card accumulation. Frank also set up with Brennan Johnson on the left in the attacking band along with Randal Kolo Muani and Mohammed Kudus. Frank opted for a midfield of Rodrigo Bentancur, Pape Sarr, and Lucas Bergvall. Pedro Porro and Destiny Udogie were the starting fullbacks.

Match reactions

An interesting new tactical wrinkle in the attacking third with Frank opting to play Kudus on the right and Johnson on the left of Kolo Muani. Brennan had a couple of nice crosses into the box in the early goings.

One of the things I noticed about Spurs in this first half is just how labored everything seems, especially going forward. Few people are making runs into space or showing for the ball. Johnson, Kudus, and Udogie all had promising runs into Newcastle’s half that fizzed out because they had no one to pass to.

I just wanna say: if that Bergvall backheel flick had gone in, it would’ve automatically been the dopest Spurs goal in a long time.

It’s super nice how Spurs all too frequently break with the ball and then politely wait for Newcastle to get in its defensive shape before attacking.

I think I’ve seen enough of Mohammed Kudus to really start to dislike what he does — which is weird for the dribbly guy we’ve been wanting for years. But he so frequently dribbles himself into trouble, his final ball is atrocious, and he frequently makes poor decisions including not looking up to see his teammates making runs. He’s probably the most frustrating player on this team, and there are a LOT of frustrating players on this team.

First half xG: NEW 0.45 - 0.36 TOT. No shots on target. LOL…LMAO

Midway through the second half I remember thinking to myself that Spurs better hope that they don’t let Newcastle score because if they do there’s little chance that they’ll get back into the match. So you can imagine my (lack of) surprise when that Guimaraes goal went in. And you could see it coming, too.

Spurs actually played better football in the second half — Newcastle started to tire and the pitch started to elongate giving Tottenham more space to work in. And yet, still no shots on target until the 78th minute. What does this team do in training all week?

Randal Kolo Muani continues to be the only player who is exciting to watch and dynamic on the ball. he’s fun and neat and cool. Wish we could actually get him the ball in dangerous attacking areas.

How about a goal on the team’s first shot on target? Sure, that sounds great, thanks Cuti!

I’m sorry, but that penalty decision was absolute horseshit. Bentancur was tangled up with Burn and I don’t care if that’s the way they’ve been calling it this season it’s only a penalty if you Zapruder it to an inch of its life. It happens on virtually every corner, and I’m so frustrated by that call (but also is anyone surprised that Bentancur was the one who was involved?).

CUTI ROMERO LAST GASP BICYCLE KICK OFF HIS SHIN TO LEVEL THE SCORE ASLDKJFKLASJDFKLASJDFKLJASDKLFJASDKLFJASKLDKJSEVNJKSDNVI34HKLFANSDVAHS;LFjkHASJKDhFKLHSAKLDfjHKLASHD;LFKA

We didn’t lose! I’ll take it. (Still mad about the penalty, though.)

Final xG: NEW 1.96 - 0.79 TOT. Spurs had eight shots, and scored on their only two on target.

Can things get worse?

That’s the question many will be asking as this Tottenham Hotspur season trudges on - now with bonus fixture congestion! That’s right, we’re now in the part of the season where Spurs have to deal with two to three matches per week, with this midweek instance against Newcastle.

Spurs have been struggling, and the matches coming fast and furious won’t help. Limited preparation time, tiredness, injuries, all of which stack up when you are trying to build cohesion. Thomas Frank’s glorious mane could soon be looking decidedly less so.

Travelling up north has never been a trip that has treated Spurs well either, with Newcastle a tough opponent even when the Lilywhites have been flying and firing. This side is very much in a hole, and Frank and the players need to dig themselves out of it. Could this be the match where the ascent begins, or will the excavation just drive hopes further into the dirt?

COYS!

Lineups

Lineups will be posted closer to kick-off.

Live Blog

No Live Blog today due to staff shortages!

How to Watch

Newcastle United vs. Tottenham Hotspur

St. James’ Park, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK

Tuesday, December 2, 2025

Time: 3:15 p.m. ET, 8:15 p.m. UK

TV: Not televised in USA, Sky Sports Premier League (UK). Check international listings at livesoccertv.com

Streaming: Peacock

Match thread rules

The match thread rules are the same as always. To any visitors coming here for the first time, welcome! We’re glad you’re here! Wipe your feet, mind the gap, and be sure to check out the other pages at this outstanding site. While you’re here, though, we have a few rules and regulations:

Absolutely no links to illegal streams. They’re bad and they get us in trouble. Violators will be warned or banned.

We have rules against “relentless negativity.” Nobody likes a Negative Nancy. Don’t knee-jerk and post outlandish or hurtful things just because you’re frustrated.

Along those lines, outright abuse of players or match officials is also not allowed. It’s fine to say “wow, that was a really bad call,” but it’s NOT okay to direct copious amounts of abuse in the direction of said official over a call you did not like.

Treat other people in the match thread the way you would want someone else to treat your grandmother. Be nice. This is a community of fans, not an un-moderated message board.

NO SPIDERS!

Finally, while we don’t have a rule against profanity, please try and keep the naughty words in check. Also, language that is sexist, racist, transphobic, or homophobic in nature will be swiftly deleted and you will be immediately banned. This is an open, supportive community.

Have fun, and COYS!

No frills today, my heart’s just not in it and Tottenham Hotspur play football again today. But for the sake of completeness and record-keeping, here are the masthead and player ratings for Saturday’s home loss to Fulham.

Micky van de Ven (Community — 3.5): Honestly, Micky saved our ass on a number of occasions in this match. Hard to say he was excellent, but he was the best Spurs had to offer on Saturday.

Lucas Bergvall (Community — 3.0): Useful in midfield, which is about as high a complement as I can give any Spurs player after that match (non-Micky edition).

Archie Gray (Community — 2.5): One of the few players who was actually showing for the ball, though he had few options once he received it. I’m heartened by Archie’s improvement this season.

Randal Kolo Muani (Community — 3.0): Continues to be one of the only bright sparks in this Spurs offense. Hit side netting and looked pretty good on the rare occasions he had to attack Fulham’s goal.

Thomas Frank (Community — 1.5): Some credit given for tactically switching things up in the second half; Spurs actually looked decent for a half hour or so in the second half. But too little, too late.

Kevin Danso (Community — 2.0): Had a wayward header that directly contributed to Fulham’s first goal. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Mohammed Kudus (Community — 3.5): Boosted his performance during the half hour stretch when Spurs were cromulent and scored a banger of a goal, but was otherwise pretty poor — more aimless dribbling and even more aimless crossing. Super frustrating.

Pedro Porro (Community — 2.0): Horrendous match with numerous wayward crosses to nowhere, and bypassed fairly easily by Chukwueze

Joao Palhinha (Community — 2.0): Not the right choice for this match; I assume he started due to rotation. Continues to be an oddly-shaped puzzle piece in this Spurs team.

Destiny Udogie (Community — 2.0): Had a herculean task on the left side, but was shaky defensively and hesitant going forward. His deflection led to the first goal, which is hardly his fault. Still a poor match.

Richarlison (Community — 2.0): What is it that you say you DO here?

Xavi Simons (Community — 2.0): I think several things about Xavi are true: a) He’s a talented player, b) He needs time to adapt to the physicality and pace of the Premier League, c) He’s being tactically misused in this Spurs team. Anyway, he wasn’t good on Saturday.

Wilson Odobert (Community — 2.0): Was basically utilized as a left back, not he strength. Also not his fault.

Rodrigo Bentancur (Community — 2.0): Didn’t really offer much as Palhinha’s replacement.

Pape Matar Sarr (Community — 2.0): Spurs’ offense took a dip the moment he came on for Bergvall. Not that it was all that high to begin with.

Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 1.01, you don’t ruin the bit): Whoof, buddy. Whoof. (He didn’t deserve the constant booing, though.)

No Tottenham Hotspur players were as bad as 1 star or a player rating without a theme.

Four straight winless results has Tottenham Hotspur down to 12th in the Premier League table, with echoes of last season getting louder and louder. Cries for Thomas Frank’s head have turned from over-reactionary to deafening, and it unfortunately seems like this saga can only end one way. If Frank wants to save his job, he will need to turn things around quickly, which is quite the ask at this moment.

Spurs travel to Newcastle Tuesday to face a club that has provided them nothing but trouble over the past three seasons. Should that match turn up empty, Frank gets to face his old employer amidst a home environment that will be anything but favorable. The Champions League continues after that, where anything other than three points would be a complete disaster. Good luck!

Match Details

Date: Tuesday, December 1

Time: 3:15 pm ET, 8:15 pm UK

Location: St James’ Park, Newcastle upon Tyne

TV: NBCSN/Peacock (US), Sky Sports Premier League (UK)

Table: Newcastle (t-12th, 18 pts), Spurs (t-12th, 18 pts)

These sides met just over a month ago at this exact venue, as Newcastle claimed a 2-0 victory in the Fourth Round of the League Cup behind goals from Fabian Schar and Nick Woltemade. That was remarkably the club’s sixth win over Spurs since the 2022/23 season, with no side outside the traditional Big Six causing this much difficulty. While the pair are level on points right now, their trajectories feel very divergent.

Three Big Questions

Will the dumb mistakes end? No one would accuse the Tottenham defense of playing particularly well, but it is extremely frustrating just how many of the goals recently have felt avoidable and/or self-inflicted. Under Ange Postecoglou, the thinking was that the way the players were asked to play led to an increased number of critical errors, but clearly no such excuse (should) exist this time.

Newcastle is just league-average in goals and xG, but has scored 10 in its last five matches across all competitions. Harvey Barnes has four of those and is tied for the team lead in scoring with the newcomer Woltemade, who scored against Spurs back in October. Tottenham absolutely must make the home side work for its chances; giving away needless turnovers will instantly doom this outing like many before it.

Can the attack find some rhythm? On the other end, Spurs have obviously struggled to generate its own scoring, but there were some nice moves against PSG and a quality finish by Mohammed Kudus over the weekend. The chances are limited and the fluidity is mostly lacking, but the — blissfully foolish — optimist could point to some positives over the past couple matches, even in losses.

Randal Kolo Muani seems to be at least a part of this rejuvenation, with cameos from Wilson Odobert, Lucas Bergvall, and Kudus leaving good impressions even during this steady decline. While Newcastle boasts the third-lowest xGA in the league, three of the last four fixtures have seen its opponents top the 2.0 xG mark. That sort of outing would be rare for Tottenham, having reached it just twice all season, but maybe things are finally starting to click up top.

What else can Frank do? I am not sure Frank cares too much about supporters’ opinion of him (well, he definitely cares about some aspects…), but there is no world in which he is satisfied with the performances that his players have been putting up. To his credit, he has rotated a bunch and tried out a couple different formations, though the problem has yet to be solved.

Short of a January transfer window miracle, I am not exactly sure what else can be done, but this is Frank’s chance to show his ability. Newcastle away is terrible proposition for Spurs, but that makes the upside all the greater should he be able to figure something out. Continue struggling, though, and there might not be a way to stop the criticism and discourse, which is going to lead to messy ending.

“I completely understand the frustration. If we don’t win, there will always be a frustration. So that is normal and is part of it. Also when we haven’t won as much as we want at home not only this year but the last long period. I don’t know how long that is maybe years, maybe more. Of course then the frustration can grow a little bit more, that is understandable.

“It’s my job to do what I can to make sure we are calm and look at the things in a way where we are splitting things up in terms of performance, what is the impact in how we tried to build the team. That is part of it. We would like to do.

“We are nothing without the fans. No club is anything without the fans. Tottenham Hotspur we are nothing without our fantastic fans. Nothing. We need each other. There is nothing we want more than making them happy in every way.

“My point was during matches that’s where we need each other. After, fair with the booing but during that is when I want to create a fortress. Some of you guys probably have more up to date stats in terms of how many games we have won, lost or drawn in the last couple of years but if any club wants to be successful, you need to create a fortress. If you want to create a fortress, it can only be together. Fans, team.

“My job is to make sure we do everything we can to perform but can we do that together? That’s when you create a very difficult place to play.”

“We of course have meetings yesterday and today. Yesterday, like normal debriefing the Fulham game and today looking more forward to Newcastle. There will be some meetings tomorrow. I said from the beginning we want to build something sustainable that can compete in all tournaments. We have a squad that is learning, and learned from last year playing Europa League and Premier League, going into this year where we are in the Champions League.

“I want to do well in the Premier League. Competing on both fronts that is something that takes time to learn physically and mentally. We are searching to find the right formula that will click while we have to rotate some players to keep freshness, keep the intensity high, do a little bit for injury risk and stuff like that.”

“I think if we were going into every game, I’m pretty sure every fan wants us to win and wants to support and wants to do everything. And then if not going to plan, then maybe some get more frustrated than others. Again, I think there’s always some that shout louder than others, so I don’t think fans, when you say you lose the fans, how many is that? Five per cent? 10 per cent? 15 per cent? 20 per cent? How much is it? I don’t know. We would like to get all 100 per cent on board and there’s only two things we can do. We can perform and keep connected.”