Cartilage Free Captain

It’s the international break, Tottenham Hotspur are dead last in the Premier League after five games, and the vibes are rancid. Does anyone REALLY want to talk about Spurs’ 2-3 home loss to Aston Villa? I’d argue nope, but we’re without men’s team matches for the next three weeks and we need SOMETHING to talk about before the Women play West Ham in the FA Women’s League Cup group stage tomorrow, so I guess we need to do it.

So let’s just get right into it. Today’s theme is taken directly from the comments — here are your player ratings to the theme of misspellings of current (and former) Tottenham Hotspur surnames that I’ve seen over the past months and years in the comments of Cardidadge Fee Caiptain Dot Com. I’ve done this before, Kulusevski edition, but it’s time to widen the circle.

No Tottenham players in this category. Maybe someday there will be.

No Tottenham players in this category.

Rodrigo Bentancur (Community - 3): Is Lolo #actually our best central midfielder? In this essay I

Savio (Community - 3): I liked this performance. Once again he’s getting into good positions but his final ball can be a little off (his teammates not making late runs contributes) and he missed two sitters for goals in the first half. I still think he’s a massive plus add.

Conor Gallagher (Community - 3): Normally he wouldn’t get a rating but he scored Spurs’ first goal of the Premier League season, so that should be rewarded.

Sandro Tonali (Community - 2.5): Pretty good in the first half but faded spectacularly in the second half. How is this guy still somewhat unfit, and can we pair him with a creative partner in midfield please Bob?

Mateus Fernandes (Community - 2.5): Did fine at the 10 which is not his best role. Unfairly hooked at halftime and the team suffered for his absence.

Mohammed Kudus (Community - 2.5): A better performance overall than what we’ve seen out of him post-injury return. Thought he had scored a nice goal only to see it called back for offside. He’s getting there, but he’s still not especially great.

James Maddison (Community - 2.5): Looks like he’s starting to get his burst back but could’ve done better to get in the way of Buendia’s shot.

Antonin Kinsky (Community - 2.5): Didn’t communicate with his defense exceptionally well. Not much he could do about the third goal. Maybe this rating is a touch unfair, but he did let three in.

Andy Robertson (Community - 2): Not bad. Not GREAT, but not bad. Put in some nice balls from the flank, defended… ok, and picked up a late assist.

Micky van de Ven (Community - 2.5): Got torched by Nico Jackson on a number of occasions (but so have a lot of defenders). Got unfairly plonked in the eye with no call and it’s not his fault he wasn’t on the pitch when Villa scored the first. Put a header wide that might have helped Spurs rally.

Omar Marmoush (Community - 2): I have to think he’s better than what he’s showing right now. Glimpses of ability here and there but has yet to consistently put together good scoring chances.

Archie Gray (Community - 3): Not really his fault, but he was part of a very bad overall defensive line vs. Villa.

Jan Paul van Hecke (Community - 2.5): A bad defensive match to be sure, but all players have them. I don’t think he’s a bad defender, nor do I think he’s worse than Vuskovic. Sometimes good players have bad games, and this was one of them. And hey, he scored a nice headed goal.

Dominic Solanke (Community - 1.5): This guy is broken.

Roberto De Zerbi (Community - 2): Gets no points from me for his ridiculous substitutions and apparent failure to get his team into decent match fitness. What does this guy DO all day? It certainly isn’t fitness training.

No Tottenham Hotspur players were as bad as continually misspelling Spurs players’ names.

Nottingham Forrest Memorial Non-Rating

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Tottenham Hotspur Women traveled to Selhurst Park today on a sunny London afternoon to face a Crystal Palace team that had an impressive start to life in the WSL after promotion this past season. An early red card set the tone, but it took Spurs a while to get off the mark against a solid Palace defense. But once they did, they didn’t look back. Palace defended heroically in the first half and kept Spurs scoreless after the opening 45, but Spurs put seven goals in the back of the net in the second half to run riot over their London rivals, winning 0-7. Olivia Holdt had a hat trick, and new signing Victoria Pelova added a brace to lead Spurs in an utter rout.

Martin Ho made two changes to the team that ran out to a 1-1 draw at Liverpool last weekend — last year’s midfield star Olivia Holdt and new signing Victoria Pelova came in for Eveliina Summanen and Amanda Vinberg. Former Spurs stalwarts Bethany England and Molly Bartrip, who Spurs allowed to leave this summer, both started for a Palace team that were coming off a scoreless draw away at Arsenal last week.

Spurs were gifted an enormous advantage early on after Palace midfielder Fuka Tsunoda was sent off with a straight red card for a two-footed late challenge on Cathinka Tandberg, giving Spurs a player advantage. It took a while for Tottenham to capitalize — despite piling on the pressure and getting in Palace’s box again and again they weren’t able to score, with Tandberg putting a looping header off the crossbar and Julie Blakstad hitting side netting. Palace keeper Pauline Peyraud-Magnin made some magnificent saves to keep Spurs out in the first half.

Spurs’ one-way traffic continued in the second half as they tried to find a way through a bunkered Palace defense defending for their lives. It took a while, but Spurs finally got off the mark four minutes into the second half. Victoria Pelova found some space on the back line and put a lovely chipped ball into the box for Oliva Holdt, who eased the ball past Peyraud-Magnin to put Spurs up a goal.

After that, the floodgates opened and Palace couldn’t keep Spurs from scoring. Holdt added a third goal midway through the second half to complete her hat trick, and Spurs got further goals from Victoria Pelova, Shekeira Martinez, and Amanda Nilden to roll to a complete rout at Selhurst.

The final score was 0-7 to Tottenham.

Match Reactions

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For Tottenham Hotspur, the wait for a Premier League goal continues… but they will be hoping today will finally be the day they break their duck against a floundering Aston Villa side.

Though Spurs have had their issues to start the season, Villa have arguably been worse off, with only a solitary point so far this season and a couple of very poor losses. Things are looking more promising for Spurs as well, with each fixture thus far showing a gradual improvement in performance, and more players returning to fitness.

Roberto De Zerbi and the home fans will be hoping this will be the moment things click. It’s a fantastic chance for Spurs to score their first goal and log their first win of the season.

COYS!

Lineups

Live Blog

How to Watch

Tottenham Hotspur vs. Aston Villa

Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London, UK

Saturday, September 19, 2026

Time: 7:30 a.m. ET, 12:30 p.m. UK

TV: USA Network, TNT Sports 1 (UK). Check international listings at livesoccertv.com

Streaming: Unavailable

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“[Pedro] Porro, Tonali, Maddison, all are available to play. Normally, we have to understand the situation in terms of physical condition, but all of them are ready.

“James [Maddison] is working with the team in the last 10, 15 days, maybe less than 15 days. And even if he’s a technical player, he needs to be fit, to stay in a good condition. When he arrives to the best condition, it’s very important for us as a personality, as a characteristic, as a quality, as an experience. The quality of his passes are different than the others. Maybe just Kudus, but Kudus also is not used to playing in the same (position as a number 10). We have to see.

“Mateus, he can play as a number 10, but he has to be more sure in the last decision, the shot and the pass. And also, Gallagher is a guarantee.”

“We have to manage Deki in the best way we can, with the medical staff, physical staff. But it’s a great thing for us because he’s a good player, he’s a good guy. He deserves to play again. We have to work day by day. Also, for Deki, it’s important the international break, because when he will be at the top of condition and pass over the injury, I think it’s a great signing, a new signing for us, another new signing.

“[Deki] doesn’t need my encouragement, because he’s strong, he has a great character, and he’s an example for everyone.”

“We have to improve in everything, because like I said, after the game we conceded the first goal in a bad way, because we knew what was the plan in the defensive phase. One long ball on Gakpo is not enough to concede a goal. Also the second goal could have closed Gakpo better and stronger, and the third goal is an individual skill of Szoboszlai.

“We can improve in the qualities of the play. I think we created more chances than the other games, also because Liverpool played with more courage. There was more space to attack, to make one-to-one, but I have experience enough to say that sometimes when you are the coach of the team, without you knowing the reason, you are able to score, you can score.

“And other times, another situation where I think you are playing well, not fantastic, but well enough to score, enough to win, and you don’t win. You have to stay calm, to be confident in what you are doing, what the players are doing. They have my full confidence. We move on and we keep going to be better day by day, but not by words, but by fact.”

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Again Tottenham Hotspur looked much more alive in the cup, at least when it comes to scoring goals, and 2.24 xG against (a rotated) Liverpool is a reminder that the potential is there. However, that potential has yet to manifest in the Premier League, with the scoreless streak at 360 minutes and counting, and an extended international break is getting dangerously close.

The final match before this fall window is against a side that is…somehow lower in the table? Most expected Aston Villa to take a step back domestically because of Champions League obligations, but it is still pretty strange to see last season’s fourth-place finishers open the year with a single point through four matches, having scored just one more goal than Spurs.

Both teams will really want to avoid spending the next three weeks thinking about their winless starts to the campaign, but winning a match requires scoring a goal, and neither side has been great at that. Tottenham probably feels like this is a good opportunity to pick that first win all things considered, but the burden of proof remains high.

Match Details

Date: Saturday, September 19

Time: 7:30 am ET, 12:30 pm UK

Location: Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London

TV: USA Network (US), TNT Sports Ultimate (UK)

Despite two top-four finishes and a sixth-placed effort by Villa, these teams have won one apiece in each of the past three seasons (though Spurs have been knocked out of the last two FA Cups by this opponent). The sides last met in May with a resounding victory for a desperate Tottenham squad at Villa Park, with Conor Gallagher scoring one of his two goals in Lilywhite (the other coming Tuesday).

Optimistically finding comfort in misery

Clearly, Spurs have gotten results in this fixture regardless of the gap in quality — or at least in the table — but it has been a bit since Villa looked this poor. That should seemingly make this the right moment for Roberto De Zerbi’s squad to really seize the reins and finally get that resounding win that the supporters have been dreaming about since the summer.

The Villa defense has been better since conceding four against Brighton in the opening matchweek, but there have been cracks as well, with Club Brugge and Forest peppering a healthy number of shots (14, 22) and shots on target (7, 7) in their recent contests. While raw shooting stats are not the ultimate measure, it feels like the Omar Marmoush-Dominic Solanke-Savio trio should not struggle getting looks on net.

Getting these attackers the ball does mean seeing and making the right passes early on in the build-up. Unai Emery’s defense will try to stymie the Tottenham attack by solidifying the middle of the pitch, knowing that the wide players can often find themselves drifting inside. The key here to me is ambition: Spurs must be bold and actually try to generate some offense, otherwise this drought may never end.

Pessimistically afraid of the break

With the League Cup run over already, and a ceiling appearing on what this Premier League campaign can bring, the vibes are turning somewhat bleak. Sure, there are more green shoots popping up every week, but is this fanbase really ready for a true rebuilding year just after back-to-back completely dismal 38-match efforts?

I do not think that is going to sit well with most supporters, especially if the new-look attack continues to be just as (un)productive as its predecessor. Failing to perform against a languishing Villa will make the next three weeks extremely miserable, and soon enough the fixture list will start featuring sides that are much more punishing.

The good news is that Villa is still trying to figure out how to generate its own goals following the departure of Morgan Rogers, though Dr. Tottenham might be sitting on standby. While Alysson’s goal off the bench last weekend was the side’s only goal in the league, like Spurs, the output has been more positive in the other competitions. With three against Brugge and three in the cup on Wednesday, this attack might be really to break out of its slump.

Realistically exhausted

It is not that fun to keep saying the same things over and over, but what else is there to even diagnose? Tottenham’s subpar attacking efforts appear opponent invariant, or at least to the extent where tactical breakdowns keep coming back to how Spurs can overcome their own shortcomings. The good news is that with Mohammed Kudus and James Maddison at least fit to feature now, there are multiple options at every attacking spot, so the breakthrough could be coming.

I suppose it is worth commending the back six as well after consecutive weekends with clean sheets. Micky van de Ven and Jan Paul van Hecke are doing exactly what is expected of them, Mateus Fernandes looks like the real deal, and Rodrigo Bentancur continues to be the undroppable midfielder. Neither Forest nor Everton offer the most fearsome firepower, but clean sheets were such a rarity last season that they cannot be taken for granted.

Though this conclusion is supposed to be realistic, I keep leaning into optimism because it really does seem like the pieces are there on paper for this team to be good! At least, the results should be much better than the first four weeks have shown, and none of these matches have appeared unwinnable. A struggling Villa is the latest to fit this criteria, so once again I am looking for three points.

I’ve been experimenting lately with my pre-run breakfast on the weekends. Usually it’s a slice of toast with peanut butter and bread, or two scrambled eggs with a banana and a couple orange slices. If I’m really not hungry I’ll just go for a banana (and coffee, obviously).

But lately I’ve been trying a different source of carbohydrates: Eggo Waffles.

Sometimes these frozen breakfasts get popular on the social media, and it’s easy to see why Eggos are a popular choice. They’re super easy carbs that you can digest pretty quickly, which is good for the stomach and good for your legs. I like to top mine with some honey and mixed berries.

Do I think this’ll be a long-term breakfast option for me? I’m still deciding.

The last two runs I’ve had Eggos I found myself getting hungry in the middle of my run (what gives?). However, the other week I did bang out a really good 16-miler after munching on two chocolate Eggos, mixed berries and some coffee. This past Sunday I felt the nutrients were lacking during my 16-mile run.

I’ll keep experimenting. I bought blueberry Eggo Waffles this week, so maybe that’ll change some things up. I’m looking to move the peanut butter toast out of rotation, but I’d like to bring the orange slices back. I would like to do a banana and just go, but my stomach wants a little more than that.

I would also like to take this time to once again advise you all to remain hydrated in your day-to-day activities and your athletic pursuits. It’s mid-September but still humid in Washington DC. Fitzie still fills up his water bottle at least once mid-run these days, and on Sunday had to hose himself down because it was so dang humid.

And if anyone here has breakfast recommendations, do share! I’ll be curious to see what you all eat.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Skywriters, by Milo Binder

And now for your links:

Jack P-B ($$): “Are Tottenham actually getting any better?”

BBC: “What next for Gabriel and Man Utd?”

All Recipes: “I Tried 10 Frozen Waffle Brands, and This Is the One I’m Buying From Now On”

Remember when Tottenham Hotspur was the financially stable club that bootstrapped its way from a mid-table team to one of the richest clubs in world football by sustainably living within its means? Well, it’s not that anymore. Just months after the children of former Tottenham owner Joe Lewis ousted Daniel Levy in a palace coup and injected £200m into the club’s operating budget, today we have news that the Lewis Kids have pumped another £120m into the club.

This reporting comes from Football.London’s Alasdair Gold, who writes that the Lewises have now spent £320m over the past year into revamping Tottenham. It’s not clear exactly what the £120m will be used for, but considering money is fungible and can be used for practically anything club related it probably doesn’t matter.

The Lewises spending this amount of money has raised some eyebrows, mostly from people who are used to Spurs operating much differently under Levy, but while that is indeed a significant amount of cash to be injected by the owners of a football club, there doesn’t appear to be anything untoward about the way the money is being sourced or spent. This simply seems to be the Lewis family spending their inheritance from Joe, granted by a trust, in the family-owned football club.

Rich people spending their money on a pet project isn’t particularly unusual, it’s just that we’re not used to it happening here, at Tottenham Hotspur. It does raise the question as to whether the owners will continue this level of investment into Tottenham, or if they will eventually back off and let the stadium fund a more moderate future investment. I suspect we’ll see continued money pumping until the club completes its refresh and the club stabilizes into one that can once again compete for top four, but we’ll see.

Good morning everyone and welcome to the latest edition of What Are You Reading Right Now?, where your hoddler-in-chief checks the literary post of the commentariat.

The last time I did this I had just purchased Halldór Laxness’s epic Icelandic novel Independent People. I wanted a book that I could really take my time with and spend some time reading.

Thank goodness for that, because I am struggling with this one. This book is about an Icelandic sheep farmer and his struggle for independence. Right now, no one is happy.

I’m roughly 80 pages into it and it’s been a little bit of a challenge. I’m hoping I can find some rhythm to unlock a good 20 or so pages the next time I pick it up, but right now it’s taking a lot of time to just get through five or so pages. Maybe I just need a comfortable reading spot.

Either way, I’m not giving up on this one yet. I’m doing my best to stick with it, even if it takes me until the end of the year.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Dirty Laundry, by Don Henley

And now for your links:

Football London: “Every word De Zerbi said on Maddison problem, Porro update and hint at his key four Tottenham attackers”

The Athletic ($$): “Liverpool 3 Tottenham 1 – Mac Allister shines again, Spurs spurn more chances”

The Independent: “Tottenham downed by Liverpool’s second-stringers to reveal painful regret”

Matt Law: “What Roberto De Zerbi is doing to end Tottenham’s goal drought”