Cartilage Free Captain

There’s breaking news out of Germany this morning that states Tottenham Hotspur are attempting to GAZUMP the transfer of Xavi Simons to Chelsea. Simons, a 22-year-old Dutch attacker who is currently at RB Leipzig, has had a full agreement to join the Blues for what feels like months now, but his move has been seemingly held up by a number of transfer dominoes that must fall first. Spurs, who are desperate for attacking reinforcements before the end of the transfer window, are looking to take advantage.

BILD also confirms Simons and his agents are already in London to talk to Tottenham, after being given permission from Leipzig to leave training to sort out his future.

“Everything now points – as already reported – for a switch to Premier League club Tottenham where Xavi and its entourage are holding further talks today, Thursday. This is also about financial matters. From England it can be known that Xavi has very concrete (and high) ideas when it comes to wages.

“Also important: Tottenham has not yet made an official offer. But figures have already been exchanged orally between the clubs in the first exploratory talks.”

— BILD

So there it is. If BILD is correct, this comes down to not just transfer fee, but money. Specifically wages. Simons is reportedly on about £100k/wk and maybe we can extrapolate from the above that he wants something like twice that. Whatever the case, it looks like Spurs could be willing to offer more in wages than Chelsea, which opens the door to a genuine gol-dang gazumping. They certainly have the space in their wage-t0-turnover ratio to do so.

Look, we’ve all been hurt before, so I understand if you don’t want to open your heart to the idea of actually gazumping Chelsea for a player (rather than the other way around). But Simons could be a really good addition to this Tottenham side. He can play anywhere across the front line and had 15+10a last season for Leipzig in all competitions. He’s good, and if there’s an opportunity to snatch him from under Chelsea’s nose, well that’d be ok with me. It doesn’t mean it’s going to happen, but at this stage in the transfer window Spurs pretty much need to take another swing for the fences.

Heung-min Son may have moved to sunny Sonny Los Angeles, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop hoddling about him.

Sonny recently threw out the first pitch at the Los Angeles Dodgers’ baseball game against the Cincinnati Reds. And of course he threw it straight down the plate, because he does everything perfectly:

This is a hard video to watch for anyone who is a Tottenham Hotspur and Los Angeles Angels supporter. Those of you who follow the baseball might know that Wednesday was Shohei Ohtani night. People even lined up for hours outside Dodger Stadium ahead of the game in the hopes of securing an Ohtani bobblehead.

Of course, Ohtani is the once-in-a-millennium baseball player who is the most exciting player the sport has seen in a very long time.

Ohtani first made his name in Major League Baseball as a player with the Anaheim Angels, where in 2023 he was unanimously voted as the American League’s most valuable player. He lit up the highlight reels with his status as the game’s only two-way player - ace pitcher and major batter.

Then he broke hearts by signing with the Dodgers - the Angels’ closest geographic rival - in 2024. That year he won the World Series and was voted National League MVP.

So you can see how Sonny throwing out the first pitch on Ohtani night be devastating for a Spurs/Angels supporter. It’s a cruel reminder of what we once had.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Castanets, by Alejandro Escovedo

And now for your links:

The Athletic ($$): “Brennan Johnson’s ‘sixth sense’ should make him invaluable to Spurs, regardless of signings”

Standard: “Thomas Frank’s mission to turn Tottenham into title contenders”

BBC: “What next for Man Utd and Amorim after humiliation at Grimsby?”

The Guardian: “Club Brugge pulverise 10-man Rangers to heap misery on Russell Martin”

Tottenham Hotspur have been confirmed in Pot 3 ahead of Thursday’s Champions League group stage draw. Thanks to the reformatting of the Champions League from a series of four-team groups to the so-called “Swiss Model,” being placed in pots no longer really matters that much as they’ll be drawn against two teams from each group, one home and one away. If you want a more detailed look at how it works, you can check out the article I wrote last fall ahead of Spurs’ participation in the Europa League (a competition that Tottenham won. Did you know that? I feel that needs to be emphasized: Tottenham Hotspur won the friggin’ Europa League last season.)

Anyway, here are the confirmed pots, ahead of Thursday’s draw, which will take place at 12:00 p.m. ET / 5:00 p.m. BST in Monaco.

Pot 1

Paris Saint-Germain

Real Madrid

Manchester City

Bayern Munich

Liverpool

Internazionale

Chelsea

Borussia Dortmund

Barcelona

Pot 2

Arsenal

Bayer Leverkusen

Atlético Madrid

Benfica

Atalanta

Villarreal

Juventus

Eintracht Frankfurt

Club Brugge

Pot 3

Tottenham Hotspur

PSV Eindhoven

Ajax

Napoli

Sporting CP

Olympiacos

Slavia Prague

Bodo/Glimt

Marseille

Pot 4

F.C. København

AS Monaco

Galatasaray

Union St.-Gilloise

FK Qarabag

Athletic Club

Newcastle United

Pafos

Kairat Almaty

The rules state that clubs cannot be drawn against other clubs from their own federation in the group stage, nor can they draw more than two clubs from any one federation, so Spurs cannot be drawn against Arsenal, Manchester City, Chelsea, Liverpool, or Newcastle. They CAN draw both Madrid and Barcelona out of Group 1, for example, but then would not be able to be drawn against Athletic Club.

But this is the Champions League, not the Europa League — this is the big leagues and there are some real whales in that draw. That said, Spurs have already proven they can go toe-to-toe with PSG and have beaten Manchester City at the Etihad, so I say: bring it on! It’ll be a challenge to get out of the group stage, and I’d be surprised if they finish in the top eight again like they did last season, but that’s why you play the games.

Honestly, I’d love to see a rematch against PSG, maybe a trip to the Nou Camp just for funzies. Club Brugge looks fun and good, and it’s be fun to kick Robert De Zerbi’s teeth in. There are plenty of beatable teams lower in the table, but all of them will bring their best. And oh look — it’s our good friends Bodø/Glimt, also in Pot 3.

Who would you like Spurs to draw in the group stage tomorrow? Have your say in the comments.

There was some big time League Cup drama today as Manchester United lost away to League Two Grimsby Town in the Second Round today, 2 (12) - (11) 2. Tottenham Hotspur will attempt to NOT follow United’s example; they drew League One side Doncaster Rovers at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. The match date is not yet assigned but will take place either the week of September 15 or 22.

In case you don’t have Bluesky, here’s a summary of the third round draw:

Port Vale vs. Arsenal

Swansea City vs. Nottingham Forest

Lincoln City vs. Chelsea

Tottenham Hotspur vs. Doncaster

Brentford vs. Aston Villa

Huddersfield vs. Manchester City

Liverpool vs. Southampton

Newcastle vs. Bradford City

Sheffield Wednesday vs. Grimsby Town

Wolves vs. Everton

Crystal Palace vs. Millwall

Burnley vs. Cardiff

Wrexham vs. Reading

Wigan Athletic vs. Wycombe Wanderers

Barnsley vs. Brighton & Hove Albion

Fulham vs. Cambridge

If Doncaster sounds familiar to you, it’s because Spurs have a youngster on loan there — Damola Ajayi, who was scoring for fun in preseason but has just 4 appearances and 91 minutes thus far. It’s a favorable draw for Spurs to be sure — playing a League One side that just promoted from League Two last season at home is certainly better than playing them away, or drawing a club like Chelsea or Manchester Ci… hahahaha, on second thought…

This draw is distressingly low on Premier League clubs playing each other, but if you like the idea of big clubs playing away at small clubs, then this might be the round for you. Arsenal visiting Port Vale, Chelsea at Lincoln City, and Man City at Huddersfield are all highlights. Upsets are more likely when the shark visits the minnow’s home pond, so who knows! After all, Grimsby vs. Manchester United just happened.

Earlier in the month we reported on news that Tottenham Hotspur was close to an agreement to send 19-year-old Croatian central defender on loan to Hamburg in the Bundesliga. Then… nothing for a couple of weeks, which led some to think that maybe Luka was being set up to stay as Spurs’ 5th/6th option in central defense.

Maybe not. The Athletic (£) is now reporting that Spurs and Hamburg have an “agreement in principle” to send Vuscovic to Germany for a year. The loan is a straight (“dry”) loan, meaning there are no purchase options or obligations in the deal, and Vuskovic would return to Tottenham next summer.

As I wrote back in August, this would be a pretty ideal loan location for Vuskovic if the loan is finalized. He bossed it last season in Belgium with Westerlo as an 18-year-old, but as much as we joke about a “farmer’s league,” the Bundesliga is a real league with good teams. Hamburg just promoted back to the top flight so while they’re unlikely to be, y’know, good (they’ve drawn their only match so far this season) Vuskovic is likely to get some good first team minutes against good players. He’ll need that experience if he’s going to transition to a Premier League team that wants to compete in Europe and challenge at the top of the table.

Also, the article mentions that Vuskovic’s older brother Mario also plays for Hamburg, and that’s sure to ease any transition he might have to Germany.

In short, I loved this loan when it was first mooted on August 9 and I still love it. Sending Vuskovic to Germany for solid minutes is better than sticking around and only playing for Spurs in spot minutes, cups, and in case of injury.

I imagine we’ll get confirmation of this loan soon. And knowing my luck, it’ll be 10 minutes after I post this article (since that’s happened a lot this summer).

Today’s Tottenham Hotspur transfer article in the Independent likely won’t do much to calm anyone’s jittery nerves with just a few days left to go in the window. But it’s not nothing. Our good buddy Miguel Delaney writes that Spurs are scrambling to bring in additional reinforcements before the window slams shut on September 1, and that they are looking at a variety of players, including Aston Villa’s Morgan Rogers, West Ham’s Lucas Paqueta, Atalanta’s Ademola Lookman, Monaco’s Maghnes Akliouche, and even a potential late run at RB Leipzig attacker Xavi Simons, who has been linked with Chelsea the entire window.

Delaney states that Morgan Rogers is the priority target at the moment, but it could take a bid of £100m to get him out of Aston Villa, who are signalling they have no intention of selling him. Spurs are also wary of making a long-shot bid for a player that could fall apart in a high profile way, especially after the failed pursuits of Morgan Gibbs-White and Eberechi Eze. Paqueta could also be a very difficult transfer to get across the line, since Spurs have already purchase Mohammed Kudus from their cross-town rivals and Paqueta is seen as critical to whatever fortunes West Ham have for this season. Akliouche has also been on Spurs’ shortlist for a while now.

Lookman and Simons are new additions to this shortlist, at least as far as I’ve seen thus far. Lookman is a talented player and has excelled in Serie A, playing as both an attacking midfielder and forward, but he turns 28 in a couple of months, would be fairly expensive to sign, and would not be considered a long-term reinforcement for Spurs. Lookman does, however, want to leave Atalanta and could maybe be persuaded by a move to North London. Simons, by contrast, is still stuck in limbo after being linked with Chelsea in one of the more protracted transfer sagas of the summer; it remains to be seen if Spurs can take advantage of Chelsea dragging their feet over the transfer near the end of the window.

Look, none of this feels great, but at least the club is briefing that it’s still working on targets, rather than maintaining radio silence as they have most of the summer. We’ll just have to wait to see if any of these targets are actually targets, or if Spurs might try and pull another heretofore unknown rabbit out of their hat.

Lately, when I’ve had the opportunity to guest-write the Hoddle I’ve taken the opportunity to give y’all an update on my cancer journey. Since I last Hoddled, I finished my chemotherapy regimen (completed last January), only to discover another liver lesion on the same lobe I had removed last year, very close to the site of the original tumor. I had surgery in early July to remove that lesion, my third major surgery and second liver resection in 18 months.

My type of cancer, stage IV colon adenocarcinoma, has a high risk of recurrence, and I have genetic markers (KRAS+) that make me more likely to have another recurrence in the future. Because of that, my doctors have me on a very sensitive blood test, a circulating tumor DNA (ctDNA) that looks for teeny tiny fragments of cancer DNA in my bloodstream. My oncologists were so concerned about me that they had me scheduled to start another 12-cycle round of chemotherapy if my test came back even marginally positive.

My test came back two weeks ago — undetectable levels of cancer DNA in my system. This means I’m clean and back in monitoring — no further chemo or systemic treatment, and I get tested again in November. It’s the best possible news I could’ve had.

Since my negative test, I’ve shifted my focus to what I should be doing to maximize my chances of staying negative. There’s a huge amount of holistic and naturopathic data that suggests I can help myself by changing my diet, avoiding excessive alcohol and processed foods, and really dialing in my microbiome to maximize the gut-head connection. I’m just starting this journey, but I figure I’ve got nothing to lose.

It’s not a difficult shift for me, really. I cook at home a lot and rarely eat out, and so it’s more a matter of getting more vegetables and lean protein in me regularly, adding fermented foods (sauerkraut, yogurt, kimchi), turmeric and turkey tail/reishi supplements, and probiotics. Exercise, meditation, drinking more water, better and more regular sleep. All stuff I really should be doing anyway, only this time I’ve got a really good reason for doing it — because I want to live to see my kids graduate from college, get married, have kids of their own.

Nothing’s a guarantee, but this sure does feel like a great opportunity to make some changes that will benefit me.

Are any of the rest of you on a similar journey? I’d love to hear about your experiences, maybe get some tips or advice.

Wolves knocked West Ham out of the EFL Cup in the 2nd round yesterday, winning 3-2. Elsewhere, Sheffield Wednesday knocked out Leeds.

Tottenham Hotspur’s summer transfer window is careening off the rails, but I have what may be good news for you: Fabio Paratici is coming back to take the wheel! That’s according to Ben Jacobs, writing an EXCLUSIVE in (lol) talkSPORT.

So we know Paratici’s story — the one time Director of Football at Juventus and then Tottenham, he was accused and later found guilty of financial malfeasance stemming from his time at the Old Lady involving the plusvalenza scandals during COVID. As a result, FIFA issued him an 18 month ban from football activities, during which Tottenham let him go and appointed Johan Lange as recruitment director. Paratici, meanwhile, hung around the fringes of the club as an “unofficial advisor.”

There were numerous reports that upon the conclusion of his football ban Paratici was set to return in a high-level role with either Spurs or another football club, but nothing official emerged. Now, according to Jacob, Paratici is expected to take charge of the recruitment efforts, beginning no later than October 1.

First things first — Ben Jacobs gets some things right, and gets other things wrong. His main claim as a journalist is that he tends to uncritically write up what agents tell him about player transfers, something that makes his record a little suspect and spotty. But not always incorrect!

If the rumors of Paratici’s return are accurate, and at this point we have no reason to think one way or the other about it, then it probably doesn’t mean much good for Lange’s future at the club. Despite signing two first team starters in Mohammed Kudus and Palhinha, the latter on loan, Spurs have had a number of embarrassing miscues and whiffs in the market, not all of which were the club’s fault. But it’s clear that the club’s ability to effectively close their priority targets has taken a significant hit this window.

To be clear, we don’t yet know what this means for Lange (or even if it’s accurate!). If it happens, Paratici would be taking the wheel and leading the overall recruitment direction, but it’s as possible that Lange stays on in some capacity as it is that he gets demoted or leaves the club entirely. That said if this transfer window stays as it is now for Tottenham without any additional high-profile signings, then a change in overall strategy is desperately needed, even if it means rolling back the clock to 2023 and cocking the Don Fabio Scattergun one more time.

Tottenham Hotspur midfielder Yves Bissouma is set to leave the north London side and head to Turkey to join Galatasaray in the coming days.

After playing a crucial role in the Europa League final against Manchester United, Bissouma has started to find himself fazed out under new manager Thomas Frank.

Missing the Super Cup clash against PSG, Frank cited Bissouma’s late arrival to meetings and training sessions as the reason for his absence from Udinese, Italy.

Since then, Bissouma has trained with the side but has seemingly lost his place in the squad. With that, transfer rumors swirled around the 28-year-old with Spurs open to letting him go for the right price. Premier League sides, such as West Ham, were open to taking on Bissouma for a cheaper price.

According to Fabrice Hawkins, Spurs and Galatasaray are in the process of completing a deal for Bissouma to join the Turkish giants in the coming days.

Bissouma has had his highs and lows wearing the Spurs kit. We all recall the sending off he had at Luton Town two years ago for that horrific dive. But, Bissouma had bright moments with that Europa League final being one. And who else would you want DJ’ing the locker room as he kept spirits high during a tumultuous season that ended in glory.

The move will be good for both sides as Spurs move off of an aging midfielder who wasn’t in Frank’s plans, and for Bissouma to get a fresh start with a Champions League side.

I’m not going to pull out any more pretty pictures, but I bet you can probably find something better to do with your time than stew over what’s becoming a god-awful Tottenham Hotspur transfer window after reading this. According to David Ornstein in the Athletic, any Tottenham approach for Manchester City’s Savinho is contingent on City signing Rodrygo. This isn’t exactly news as we’ve more or less known or at least suspected this for a some time, but according to Diario AS, Rodrygo has now convinced Xabi Alonso that he should be a part of Madrid’s setup this season.

“Tottenham Hotspur’s hopes of convincing Manchester City to contemplate selling them Savinho rests on City signing Rodrygo from Real Madrid. For that to materialize, Rodrygo would need to tell Madrid he wants to go, and The Athletic is not aware of this happening to date.”

—David Ornstein, The Athletic

Now, I know Diario AS is not an especially reliable outlet, but they do get most things right when it comes to Real Madrid. If this is accurate, it would render any approach from Tottenham effectively dead in the water. Combine that with reports that Arsenal have now agreed personal terms to sign Piero Hincapié and I’m not sure that this window could get any worse.

At this point I don’t know where Spurs go from here. After signing Mohammed Kudus from West Ham this summer, Spurs have whiffed on their top 3-4 transfer targets this summer, have no natural 10 on the roster after the injuries to Dejan Kulusevski and James Maddison, and lost a good chunk of their scoring and shot creation with the loss of Son Heung-Min. And weirdly, they’re 2-0 with an away win at Manchester City! Make it make sense!

There are five days left in the transfer window. Spurs still have massive holes in the side, no clear targets, and toxic vibes. Without a massive, massive shift in their fortunes, Johan Lange has to go.